Toodlers and Puppies

 My adorable great granddaughter recently had a third birthday party.  While I wasn't there, this reminded me of a posting I wrote a few years ago about the growing popularity of doggie birthday parties.  

After researching the article, I kept thinking about how the suggestions would work for both toddlers and puppies. Here are a few.

     - Have the party in a fenced yard - with the emphasis on the word "fenced."  Imagine having a doggie birthday party in the house.   Now imagine having the same party for 1 to 3 year olds.  It's the same image, right?  But don't try the yard party without a fence because herding dogs and toddlers is like, well, herding dogs and toddlers.

     - Have a responsible adult accompany each dog or toddler - no drop offs!  The article suggests the dogs should be leashed upon arriving until they get to know each other.  While this is might be a good idea for some toddlers as well, I'm not recommending it.

     - Crates available for dogs who might need "alone time."  OK this is not going to work for the kids for the same reason as the leash idea.  My daughter tells me they used to have a big comfy chair, blanket and cuddly stuffed toy available for a weepy or unhappy children.  Her husband, greeting kids at the door, would text her "potential cryer in foyer." 

     - Costumes - The dog party experts suggest having plenty of props for photo ops like bow ties or tiaras and party hats.  The toddlers might like these as well.  But nothing scary for either group.  That can cause all kinds of repercussions.    

     - Doggie Bags:  The dog experts suggest tennis balls and dog-friendly baked treats.  This could work for both groups. Of course you should give the wee children appropriate treats. Just because they like doggie treats is not a good reason to provide them. 

     - Games:  The recommendation for dogs is "bobbing for hot dogs."  Don't do this with toddlers!  They are notorious for choking on hot dogs.  Besides, many moms today think of hot dogs as the next thing to poison. 

The other game suggestion is non toxic, big bubbles.  "Dogs try to chomp them in the air, it's hysterical ."  This would work for both groups.

The article ends by saying "Luckily, dogs don't know or care how much you spend."  This is true for toddlers as well.  



***

The God Particle

 Peter Higgs died last week at age 94.  He was a Nobel prize-winning physicist.  In 1964 he theorized there must be a subatomic particle that would explain how the stars and planets acquired their mass.  It wasn't until 2012 the particle was confirmed.

Maybe you're thinking "so what?"

This particle is known as the Higgs boson and without it, the universe we know and love could not exist.  Hence the nickname:  The God Particle.

It helps scientists understand one of the most fundamental riddles of the universe: How the Big Bang created something out of nothing 13.8 years ago.  

I don't want to brag, but I already knew about the Higgs boson theory.  That's because, for years, I was a fan of The Bib Bang Theory.  Even the lyrics to the show's theme song give us an exciting explanation of how we got here.  But it doesn't give us a reason for how we got here.

On the show, theoretical physicist Sheldon Cooper explained the Higgs boson theory several times.  But the best one was first aired on January 19, 2010 where he tried to explain the theory while playing Pictionary with Penny.  She, of course, didn't get it. 

But my favorite explanation was given by Young Sheldon on the second season of that show, April 22, 2022.  Sheldon, who is a little severn year old genius, is frightened because his mother, after experiencing a tragedy, is depressed and questioning her faith. 

She tells Sheldon "Faith is something that you can't know for sure is real." 

He was trying to let her know that the beginning of "everything" wasn't by chance. "What are the odds that it would happen all by itself?"  

 It was the God Particle.

***

Babie's Rights

 

Have you ever seen a two week old baby with a broken arm?  I have.  How about shaking baby syndrome?  What about a baby born to drug addicted parents who drug the baby to get it to sleep? 

Have you ever seen a child who had never seen a book prior to kindergarten? I have. And almost every public school kindergarten teacher has. 

In central Florida there used to be a huge billboard with adorable, chubby babies all over it.  Every time I saw it I thought some of the babies should have black eyes or body casts.  Because that's reality.

If you're having high feelings in the current political climate, here's something you can do.  Buy diapers, lots of them, for parents you know are short on cash.  Diapers are expensive.  They are also a trigger for spouse abuse, and, even if the baby isn't directly abused, wearing a soiled diaper for 24 hours can cause considerable harm over time, not to mention the excuiating pain the baby endures. 

FOLLOWING IS A POSTING FROM 2015

Today marks the 42nd anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. But (as you know if you know me) I don't discuss abortion. 

What I do discuss - and feel passionately about - is birth control.  I am for it.  I am for women and girls having children only when they want to and choose to.  I am for healthy moms and babies around the world.  While I am not a fan of promiscuous sex, I am also not a fan of pregnancy as a punishment for having sex. 

In this respect, I am a big fan of Melinda Gates.  She and her husband are giving away billions to help people all over the globe in eradicating scourges like HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis - but Melinda's special passion is birth control.  She wants to cut world wide child mortality in half. 

Not much research has been done in the contraceptive area in the last 20 years but Melinda says that one day we might have a contraceptive that would dissolve, like a breath mint melts in your mouth, though it would be inserted elsewhere.  Or an implant in your arm that lasts three to five years.

Melinda Gates was raised a Catholic.  I don't know how she relates to her faith at this time.  But even Pope Francis, while he did reaffirm the Catholic Church's stance on contraception, just told us last week that we females "don't have to breed like rabbits."

Thank you Pope Francis.  That's good news.


***

Stand Up Comics

 

As most of you who read this blog know, I love stand up comics. And I love it when some I've listened to over the decades, while I walk, have become superstars.  

For example, three of them, Nate Bargatze, Sebastian Maniuscalco and Leanne Morgan. after sharing brutal honesty about themselves, and then exaggerating it all out of proportion, until it's hysterical, for a couple of decades, are now in the superstar category.  

When I first started watching Nate, he presented himself as naive and lazy.  He's now super famous but the persona remains.

When I first started listing to Sebastian, I thought his father was a mobster.  

Leanne is the epitome of a southern girl.  She uses demeaning words to describe people, like "little."  "My little momma and daddy."  But this is common in the south and we're all in on the joke.  She tells outrageous stories about her husband and family.  She rarely laughs.  She has a perfect stare when she's sharing her bad times.  One of her later tours was called her "Big Pantie Tour."  Every woman of a certain age can understand what that's all about. 

Now, about me.  I'm coping with a few health issues.  I have a UTI that won't quit.  For those of you under 60, this is a Urinary Track Infection.  They can do a number on old people, women and men.  I have test strips that let me know when it's visiting (again.)  But don't get nervous, I won't share any further. 

But I will share on of Leanne's bits.  These are not her words, but it is one of the stories she tells about herself.  She had two little tiny children and a traveling husband.  And she missed her period.  So she gathered up her little ones and drove to Walmart to get a pregnancy test.  After buying it she took the children into the restroom stall with her to use it.  Then looked at it with that perfect stare.  Her three year old son said, "Is it positive?"  

I think about Leeane every time I use my UTI strip.  

All three of these super successful "newcomers" who've been doing stand up for several decades, have specials on Netflix. 

***

My Current Problems with Barbie and Ken

 First off, I have not seen the Barbie movie.  But every person in the universe knows about it and the billions of dollars it's earned. 

Also, it's important to remind you that I've had a difficult time with Barbie, the doll, over the decades she's been around. I have previously written about my Barbie woes in this blog. 

Back to the movie, even with the rave reviews, there are those who have said that it emasculated Ken,  I don't know how that could happen to "Ken," but that's not my current concern. 

My concern is this:  Margot Robbie was Barbie.  Issa Rae was another Barbie.  Kate McKinnon was a third Barbie.  Greta Gerwig directed.  As far as I know, all of these people are intelligent women.  Unlike the doll, they are successful humans who know how to speak.

So here's my problem.  All I saw on Oscar night was Ken. His Marilyn Monroe inspired musical number has been, and still is, all over YouTube.  I look at Facebook once a day. He's all over it as well, sometimes as Ken, sometimes talking about Ken and sometimes using his other persona, Ryan Gosling.  Yes, I think Ryan Gosling is funny and smart and fantastic to look at.

But, seriously, don't these women have some things to say?

When my niece sent this cartoon it made me think of Ken mansplaining the Barbie movie.

***

Good Friday

Diana Nyad

 When I was growing up in the 1940s, Good Friday was a very different experience, whether you were Christian or not.  

From noon to 3:00 P.M., everything closed down.  Restaurants, stores, offices, all closed in respect for the perceived time Jesus hung on the cross.  

Lent,  the 40 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter,  has traditionally been a time of introspection for me.  I am not a religious talker so I don't usually share my introspectiveness, but it is there and it is meaningful to me. 

So, for Holy Week, and especially today, Good Friday, I want to be solemn much of the time and contemplate what my life is all about and what the next chapter will look like.

It's easy to get distracted by other things and people I love, and knowing how blessed I am.  

So, what to do?

You may find this offensive, but what put me in the proper frame of mind was watching the torturous movie, NYAD on Netflix.  The movie stars Annette Bening as Diana Nyad, who, in 2013, at age 64, swam from Cuba to Key West without a protective cage.  She covered the 103 miles in 53 hours,  

The movie has received positive reviews but I found it to be almost more than I could bare.   Am I comparing what Diana Nyad achieved to Jesus dying on the cross for our sins?  No.  Am I seeing a person who chose to undergo a truly torturous journey (after four earlier attempts)? Yes.  

And it helped me stay focused on what Good Friday is all about.  I just heard the following quote a few minutes ago.  It speaks to me. 

Embrace the darkness of Good Friday.  

***

Hoop Dreams

 

TOM MESCHERY

In the late 50's my husband, David, went to the University of Kansas, the same years Wilt Chamberlain attended.  He said once in Forum that Wilt Chamberlain was really smart, and an older woman in this group said she taught Chamberlain in high school and, yes, he was really smart,

Who knew?  Everything I knew about Chamberlain up to that point, I learned from Saturday Night Live. 

Another bit of knowledge my David brought to our community was cribbage.  He taught me early on, and others later on, to play.  And to this day, I can, on any given Tuesday, go to the food court  in the mall and find two of David's best (Florida) friends, Charlie and Art,  playing cribbage.

Where am I going with this?

A few days ago, my friend, Charlie, who is a real sports guy, sent me a full page article from The New York Times (March 11th issue) about this guy named Tom Meschery, who started alongside Wilt Chamberlain, and named a 1963 N.B.A. All-Star, and became the first player to have his number retired at the Goldengate Warriors. 

The article is titled, Finding the Words For His Final Verse In Hoops and Love. 

I know what you're thinking because I've never heard of him either!  And why did Charlie send this story to me?  I don't have hoop dreams. 

Tom Meschery is a writer.  He's written five books of poetry, two memoirs, and six novels.  Much of his poetry is about his remarkable life.  He was born in Manchuria to Russian parents. I can't relate to basket ball or being born in Manchuria,  but I can relate to many things he experienced in the decades that followed. 

Much of my poetry came (and comes) from my big and little life frustrations.  When I was much younger and was up to my ears in frustration,  I would write a poem about it. It made me feel better.  Then, if I sold the poem to a magazine for say, five dollars, I felt even better about it. 

TOM MESCHERY

OK, for those of you who know me, or are one of the many folks I've never met but read this blog, you know that, after a long first marriage, the last ten years of which were constant caregiving, I fell madly in love with David.  We ended up playing cribbage all over the world!

Tom Meschery, at a late stage in his life, fell madly in love with a woman he met on line, with the help and approval of his son.  The Time's article says they connected over their creative curiosities and their love of literature.

What?  No way.

So many other similarities in Tom Meschery's life and mine.  I'm beyond grateful to Charlie for sending me the article.  I'll close with a Tom Meschery poem.

This morning, didn't I wake up to

     sunlight

and a warm breeze?  Didn't my wife

poke her head into the office 

to tell me she loved me?

I flavor my coffee with honey that is sweet as

     life.

I should live a little longer.

***

Snakes

 

This past Sunday our sermon series on Moses and the promised land continued.  It was excellent.  Pastor David made himself vulnerable, and, as usual, presented exceptional insights into the Israelites' situation - and ours.

We have Moses and the Israelites stuck at the entrance to the promised land with several of his followers wanting to turn back.

In all of the churches my husband Ken pastored and most of the other institutions I was involved with there was always a "Back to Egypt" committee - people who were afraid to move ahead. 

But Pastor David's message is not my topic today.  My topic is Snakes.  Almost all of us are afraid of snakes. Even Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes.  In the Bible they are portrayed as symbols of evil....but, later on, a symbol of life and healing.  Moses was the first to put a bronze snake on a pole and that symbol is still used by health care facilities across the world. 

My husband, Ken was a complicated, brilliant, eccentric person who knew the Bible will and knew the snake, viper, serpent symbols.  He was also very familiar with the creation story, as most everyone is.  He had to put of with my season of life where I hung my "Eve was framed" poster over the washer.  In the last few weeks of his life, his body and mind were barely hanging on.  I was being pressured to stop dialysis which would result in his fast but painless death.  

During this time I, of course, wrote a poem.  Therapeutic for me but I've never had even one person respond to it.  I'm thinking that they just didn't get it. At the time he was pretty much non-speaking   So his words were astounding to me on several levels.  Here it is.  

THE ADVICE

Remember when you were

Fading in and out of consciousness, 

 

Drive you to the hospital?

Call an ambulance?

I could not decide.

 

And there was a snake in the garage.

What should I do?

 

Lying on the couch,

You whispered to me. 

 

“What?  I can’t hear you.”

“Are these your last words?”

 

I leaned close, 

With my ear to your mouth.

 

You barely gasped, 

“Cecily,

Don’t let the snake tempt you.”

(If you want to see last week's sermon, you can find it on YouTube at FUMCWP.org)

 

Buckle Up Butter Cup

 "Buckle Up Butter Cup" is what Paster Rachel said last Sunday prior to reading the Ten Commandments.  

I've been reminded of her words several times and it's only Wednesday.  

I am 85 years old and, while I seem to still have most of my marbles, at least until 5:pm or so, stuff is continuing to happen. 

We do not know what the future holds but, by seeing what's happening to my close friends and some family members....and me, it's going to be a bumpy road. 

So, how can we cope?  A couple of ways for me are to remind myself of who I am.  I am an analytical person.  I don't do "emotional" well at all, and I know this is sometimes seen as not caring.  I'm a planner, but almost every single day the plans need changing, due to unforeseeable happenings to me and others. For instance, out of the blue, I acquired a bacterial infection and have been on heavy antibiotics for two solid weeks.  Didn't see that coming!

Many decades ago, two women, Susanna Wesley and Anne Lamont, helped me learn how to move forward.  

Susanna lived in the seventeen hundreds, was married to a poor preacher, had nineteen children, and had the tragedy of seeing most of them die.  When asked how she coped, she said something like this, "I get up, wash my face, ready my devotions", etc.  She essentially said, I keep going by keeping going.

This one thing has helped me over and over when my life's been turned up-side-down.  And Anne Lamont (who is still very much with us) said the same thing in her book, "Bird by Bird."

And then there is Thomas Merton's most famous prayer that begins with:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end. 

These words may not seem comforting to you, but they are to me.    

So, everyday, I do my devotions and (unless I just can't) take my 2 mile walk in my neighborhood.  My neighbor, who is 90 and sharp as a tack, sometimes goes with me.  She can't do it every day because she's booked up most mornings.  We are both upbeat.  No gossip.  No interrupting.  Likewise I try not to watch super scary TV (the news) more than a few minutes a day and I faithfully get together with other like minded friends (some of whom are in way worse shape than me,) and I watch Sunday morning worship on my TV, where I usually find some clues for living, like the title of this posting.

I have a couple of close friends with whom I can spill my guts from time to time and they do the same with me, but we almost always do it in a problem solving mode.   

Why would we waste one day, at this point, whining and complaining when we're all living in a time when we desprately need to "Buckle Up Butter Cup."

***

(Old man painting by David Runyan.)

 

My Friend Amelia

 

Amelia, my good friend of 30 years, died yesterday.  She was a smart, funny extrovert who loved to travel and loved just being with people.  

Here's an example:   

My husband, Ken, died in 2004, after a long, dibilating illness.  He was a United Methodist minister here in Florida.  For the first nine years he was an urban minister.  His office was a downtown store front and he was free to do the kind of ministry both of us felt called to.  

Later on, the bishop assigned him to large, old downtown churches with big problems.  Ken was a change agent and proud of it. 

Later, we were sent to First United Methodist Church, West Palm Beach.  It was a horrendous situation.  The downtown had been obliterated.  The church building was the only thing standing.  Prior to our arriving it had been decided that this magnificent building, along with two smaller churches,  would be torn down and one large church would be built.  

All of these people were suffering and angry.  And who could blame them? 

It  was a horrible time.  Ken was a change agent,  They needed a loving counselor.  However, he got the job done, and, in addition, he suffered mightly and never really recovered. 

What does this have to do with Amelia?

After Ken died I wanted to somehow make amends with the folks in West Palm Beach.  I told Amelia and she wanted to help.  

I am an introvert.  Amelia was the epitome of an extrovert.  

The two of us spent a long weekend in West Palm Beach.  This was several years after Ken and I left the church. We visited a few of the old church people.  Amelia did much of the chit chat.  We attended  Sunday services and hung around and admired the beautiful new church.  Its name now is United Methodist Church of the Palm Beaches.  

We never mentioned Ken.  We just enjoyed these people and their new church.  I zeroed in on a few who'd suffered the most through the change.  Amelia asked me to point  out the people who were angry with  Ken. She zeroed in on them with pure love that only Amelia could pull off.  In addition, Amelia and I had so much fun.  We stayed in a quant little hotel, ate great sea food and explored the new downtown.    

This was a major healing event in my life and I never could have done it without Amelia. 

***

Love and Lent

 

Today is both Valentine's Day and the beginning of Lent.  I have had several decades of Valentine romance.  And it only got better as time went by.  

Today it is now a time of good memories.

 Lent is a period of fasting and regret for one's sins and is observed on the 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter.  For me, this has traditionally been a time of deep personal introspection.  

It's also a time for us to take a deep dive into our mortality.  I don't take this lightly.  I'm most likely a short timer here on this celestial ball. 

The Lenten service has always been meaningful to me so when I discovered my church was having a large service in the evening but none earlier, I was sad.  I no longer go out in the evening.  Bummer.

But then I heard that there might be a service at noon.  So, this morning I started out early to run some errands with the intention of ending up at church at noon.  I still had not seen anything in writing that there would be a service.

Some things went haywire early on.  The noise on the street made me sick, I had a hard time at the post office and, then at about 11 am I ended up at Panera Bread close to the church, for a late muffin and egg breakfast, but they were no longer serving breakfast.  Bummer.  I could go on, but you get the picture. 

So I'm walking to the church and I'm wondering if there will be a service and if there is, will I be the only person there?  Will it be loud?  I'm still hearing loud noise in my head (tinnitus) and can't handle anymore, even if it's beautiful music. 

I stepped into chapel.  Even after 30 years, I'm still in awe of its beauty. There was total silence.  But there were  20 plus older people present.  Most of whom I know.  There was a page of guided prayer and meditation. Pastor Rachel was up front in her jeans and liturgical stole.  After a while she greeted us and invited each of us to come forward to receive the imposition of ashes whenever we were ready.  She then sat down. And waited. 

So, very slowly, that's what happened.  

After a while of reading, deep breathing, mediating and introspection, I regained my bearings and went to the altar.  Pastor Rachel marked my forehead.  At that moment all was well with my soul.

This has turned out to be my best Valentine's Day in several years.

*** 

I've Seen Both Sides Too

 I'm in a text group with three family members in three different states.  I love them with a vengeance.

All three of them watched the Grammys a few evenings ago -  to the very end.  I don't watch anything at night so it's taken me a while to catch up with YouTube videos.  

Aside from Jon Batiste and Taylor (whom I know because I don't live on the moon) I know very few of the performers.  

But then Joni. 

At  80 years old she has the right to sing her signature song,  And I can relate to almost every word of it.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now.......From up and down, and still somehow.....It's cloud illusions, I recall

I really don't know clouds at all.....

I probably don't feel quite the way she does about love, but I know love, feel love, and allow myself to love, even though loving has its challenges and lives come to an end. But my faith makes me more comfortable with this.  It takes courage to love as we age because our lovers leave us, if we don't leave them first.  On this side of heaven all  love affairs end in tragedy.  

I've looked at love from both sides now.....From give and take, and still somehow.....It's loves illusions I recall

I really don't know love at all

Watching her on YouTube, where she sat in her big gold chair that swiveled around for all to see, I was deeply moved and could relate to every word.

But now old friends are acting strange.....They shake their heads, they say I've changed.....Well, something's lost, but something's gained 

In living every day.  

The crowd was singing along, many of them in tears. 

I've looked at life from both sides now.....From up and down, and still somehow.....It's life's illusions, I recall

I really don't know life at all. 

***

s

Words of Wisdom

Be fearlessly authentic

I received some yummy chocolates over the holidays.  I'm still eating one piece a day.  Of course I started with my box of See's, which we all know is the king of chocolate.  Now I'm eating a small piece of Dove chocolates every morning.

Be the sculpture of your dreams

Just recently I noticed that inside the individual wrapper of my Dove chocolate  is a wise saying.  Some apply to me, some do not.

Book the flight

So now, in addition to my daily devotions (usually with Richard Rohr) and Bible verses, I now have this Dove affirmation to ponder.  

Today is your day.  

When life isn't going right, go left. 

I do think the one below is a little self-serving.

Write a letter to a friend and send chocolate with it.

***

Quality vs Quanity

 

Mae West Quote:

There's no such thing as too much of a good thing. 

Mae West was our first over-the-top sexy, outlandish actress.

Today I had a discussion with friends on the topic Quality vs Quantity.  Some folks, like hoarders and Mae West,  think quantity IS quality.  

But here's the difference.  Quality is subjective.  What each of us values can be very different.  Quantity is objective.  Ir represents a fact. 

I work very hard at staying as healthy as I can be.  However, I know that all of the things I do (or don't do) are not likely to give me a longer life.  But it does increase the quality, which for me means being creative, cultivating relationships and strengthening my spiritual life.  

Yesterday we celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr.  His life was cut short at age 39.  But he's still inspiring us by his action and words. 

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important. Martin Luther King, Jr.