Jim McWhinnie continues to share his Alzheimer's journal with us. Jim is a deeply spiritual, retired United Methodist minister. Each time I read one of his journal entries I think about myself as well as Jim. Here is a portion of one that particularly moved me.
I am noticing ... that I am
having more frequent periods of confusion. Nothing all that dramatic ... a
befuddlement, you might say... an awkward stumbling through a matter that I
usually handle without much thought. Trying to buckle a seat belt, trying to
work the television remote, getting the steps in brewing the morning coffee out
of order ... little things that can get caught up in a rather frightening few
moments of frustration.
Yes, I can relate. When I can't remember an old friends' name or can't fix my computer issues or I can't fix my friends' problem - I feel a little incompetent - and maybe a little insecure because, as you know, I used to like to present myself as "The Strongest Woman in the World." Jim then voices my fears.
I think for me ... somewhere along the way
I took to believing that incompetency exposes one's weakness and thus lessens
one's worth. I know that is not true in the eyes of God ... but it is caught up
in my inner workings. And to totally jumble the logic ... I probably have not
accepted the truth that incompetence and incapacity are not the same thing.
So Jim is reminding me to celebrate every day and to thank God for everything and every person around me. And to understand that how I perceive my life is pretty much the whole ball game. And speaking of ball games, Jim ends with this.
I enjoyed the
ball game yesterday ...though I don't remember much about the game itself ...
but the sunshine on my face felt soooo good ... and the hot dog with mustard
and relish was ... delectably exquisite!
So, thank you Jim McWhinnie, for frequently reminding me that my life, at this time, is delectably exquisite!
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