Beth Kassab used to be the financial writer for the Orlando Sentinel. Then she was promoted to the prestigious columnist position where she writes about politics and other concerns we have regarding Central Florida. Only today she wrote about "Elf on the Shelf." But she's right on target because, I don't know about you, but this guy deeply concerns me.
This sweet little elf, who spends several weeks prior to Christmas sitting on a shelf in your home, comes with a story about how he flies back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa about how we've been behaving during the day. Of course, when he arrives back he lands in a different place.
This doesn't seem like a hard thing to pull off except, as Beth explains, when some parents are dead tired at night and find it difficult to remember that the elf needs to be on a different shelf. Every morning. For over a month.
But then there are those households that take it up a notch. Elf not only visits the North Pole but finds time to be mischievous when he returns by toilet papering the family room or messing up the kitchen or even making cookies and writing funny notes. Every night! For over a month!
This happens at my daughter's house. It's exhausting just to witness the carnage.
Last year Dave and I drove to their home in Atlanta and planned to drive to the airport the next morning in order to fly to Chicago. But when we got up and went out to the car we saw that the elves (yes, they have several) had vandalized our car and even removed parts of the engine. We knew this because the "parts" were on the drive way. They did look remarkably like items from the garage but we were assured they were engine parts that rendered our car inoperable.
So the family had to drive us to the airport. This is what they had insisted on the night before but we firmly nixed it.
I'm very nervous about what they'll do this Christmas. Both the elves and the family.
Beth Kassab has reason to be exhausted what with two tiny children, a husband and a brilliant career AND a mischievous elf. But think about my Atlanta family and quadruple it.
Trouble is abrewin'
***
