- Give once and you elicit appreciation.
- Give twice and you create appreciation.
- Give three times and you create expectation.
- Give four times and it becomes entitlement.
- Give five times and you establish dependency.
- Toxic Charity
Seems simple. You give me stuff. I take it. Everybody's happy. But it's not that simple. The book Toxic Charity by Robert Lupton is an eye opener for some but it's old news to me.
It's not so much about what and how much we give. It's Why.
And this not only holds true for charitable giving, the same concept works for families. Why am I giving my grown children luxuries they can't afford on their own? Is it because I want them to depend on me?
Why do I give lavish gifts to the poor at Christmas time? Is it because I want to feel all warm and fuzzy and powerful?
I think, in many cases, the problems for our "lazy" poor and our "lazy" kids are the same. We want them to be grateful - when they need and want to be empowered.
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