This morning in Forum we continued our discussion of Alzheimer's disease. The book, Still Alice, about a 50 year old professor at Harvard who develops Early Onset Alzheimer's, is causing most folks in the class to think deep. And discuss deep.
Although I'm happy with my care taking of my husband, Ken, the book and discussion are causing me to re visit how I could have made some better decisions - sooner.
Ken had dementia long, long before anybody else was aware. I did a good job of hiding it. Even from him. I was raised in a family that kept secrets. So was Ken. Image was everything. In my family, illnesses like cancer and tuberculosis were never discussed. Even when my aunts, uncles and mother were dropping like flies from these two diseases.
Toward the end, before I discussed Ken's mental state with friends and family, I'm sure many of my friends were very aware. What a help it would have been to deal with it openly.
I'm not so sure about family. A few years before Ken died my son put together a book for his dad. Ken loved political celebrities. He loved hanging around with decision makers. He was one. The book contained photos from congress persons, senators and other leaders from around the country. Some Ken knew well. Others not at all. But all personally autographed to Ken.
Ken thanked our son. But he was totally unable to comprehend what he'd been given. It was too late for any real appreciation of this tremendous effort to do something that would have thrilled him ten years earlier.
I have friends who've truly honored me and others by sharing a personal dark journey with the rest of us. It's what I want to do from now on. We're all in this together.
So, I've reformed. I'm a new woman. For the last several years I've been openly sharing my life. But then those of you who read this blog regularly already know this.
***
Although I'm happy with my care taking of my husband, Ken, the book and discussion are causing me to re visit how I could have made some better decisions - sooner.
Ken had dementia long, long before anybody else was aware. I did a good job of hiding it. Even from him. I was raised in a family that kept secrets. So was Ken. Image was everything. In my family, illnesses like cancer and tuberculosis were never discussed. Even when my aunts, uncles and mother were dropping like flies from these two diseases. Toward the end, before I discussed Ken's mental state with friends and family, I'm sure many of my friends were very aware. What a help it would have been to deal with it openly.
I'm not so sure about family. A few years before Ken died my son put together a book for his dad. Ken loved political celebrities. He loved hanging around with decision makers. He was one. The book contained photos from congress persons, senators and other leaders from around the country. Some Ken knew well. Others not at all. But all personally autographed to Ken.
Ken thanked our son. But he was totally unable to comprehend what he'd been given. It was too late for any real appreciation of this tremendous effort to do something that would have thrilled him ten years earlier.
I have friends who've truly honored me and others by sharing a personal dark journey with the rest of us. It's what I want to do from now on. We're all in this together.
So, I've reformed. I'm a new woman. For the last several years I've been openly sharing my life. But then those of you who read this blog regularly already know this.
***
