After my Real Husband died I wasn't ready to go back to work. Then I decided that I would never be ready to go back to work - and that turned out to be a good decision.
I do the same kind of work for free that I used to do for money. It's lots more fun this way.
But shortly after my Real Husband's death I was asked to speak to a national group of caregivers for Alzheimer's patients. This invitation came because I was a professional speaker. They didn't know that my husband had dementia or anything about what we'd been through for the previous 8 years.
It was what we call a coincidence.
I figured this was something that I was - possibly - being "called" to do even though I wasn't really up to it at the time. So I said "Yes."
Later they sent me the title for my seminar: INTIMACY.
The event took place at a gorgeous resort. These caregivers deserved it. I took 5 questions to ask them so that they would have a chance to vent.
They turned out to be mostly spouses of patients and a few parents and children of patients. After telling them a little about my own marriage I started with the questions.
Question #2 was "What would you like your children to know about your situation?"
Several spouses told about how their children would come for a day and then brag to everybody in sight about how they'd spent an entire day with mom or dad (or both.) But never quite getting the fact that these caregivers were there every day and every night - with no end in sight.
Question # 3 was "What do you miss the most?"
One man stood up and told about how much he and his wife loved to dance. He said he missed the sex but the dancing was what he missed the most. She was still at home and still ambulatory. But it wasn't her anymore. He couldn't dance or have sex with this stranger. He was crying before he sat down and so were many others.
I held it together because I was in charge. But, yes, I think I was "called" to be there that day.
I do the same kind of work for free that I used to do for money. It's lots more fun this way.
But shortly after my Real Husband's death I was asked to speak to a national group of caregivers for Alzheimer's patients. This invitation came because I was a professional speaker. They didn't know that my husband had dementia or anything about what we'd been through for the previous 8 years.
It was what we call a coincidence.
I figured this was something that I was - possibly - being "called" to do even though I wasn't really up to it at the time. So I said "Yes."
Later they sent me the title for my seminar: INTIMACY.
The event took place at a gorgeous resort. These caregivers deserved it. I took 5 questions to ask them so that they would have a chance to vent.
They turned out to be mostly spouses of patients and a few parents and children of patients. After telling them a little about my own marriage I started with the questions.
Question #2 was "What would you like your children to know about your situation?"
Several spouses told about how their children would come for a day and then brag to everybody in sight about how they'd spent an entire day with mom or dad (or both.) But never quite getting the fact that these caregivers were there every day and every night - with no end in sight.
Question # 3 was "What do you miss the most?"
One man stood up and told about how much he and his wife loved to dance. He said he missed the sex but the dancing was what he missed the most. She was still at home and still ambulatory. But it wasn't her anymore. He couldn't dance or have sex with this stranger. He was crying before he sat down and so were many others.
I held it together because I was in charge. But, yes, I think I was "called" to be there that day.
