TOM MESCHERY |
TOM MESCHERY |
TOM MESCHERY |
TOM MESCHERY |
This past Sunday our sermon series on Moses and the promised land continued. It was excellent. Pastor David made himself vulnerable, and, as usual, presented exceptional insights into the Israelites' situation - and ours.
THE ADVICE
Remember when you were
Fading in and out of consciousness,
Drive you to the hospital?
Call an ambulance?
I could not decide.
And there was a snake in the garage.
What should I do?
Lying on the couch,
You whispered to me.
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“Are these your last words?”
I leaned close,
With my ear to your mouth.
You barely gasped,
“Cecily,
Don’t let the snake tempt you.”
(If you want to see last week's sermon, you can find it on YouTube at FUMCWP.org)
I've been reminded of her words several times and it's only Wednesday.
I am 85 years old and, while I seem to still have most of my marbles, at least until 5:pm or so, stuff is continuing to happen.
We do not know what the future holds but, by seeing what's happening to my close friends and some family members....and me, it's going to be a bumpy road.
So, how can we cope? A couple of ways for me are to remind myself of who I am. I am an analytical person. I don't do "emotional" well at all, and I know this is sometimes seen as not caring. I'm a planner, but almost every single day the plans need changing, due to unforeseeable happenings to me and others. For instance, out of the blue, I acquired a bacterial infection and have been on heavy antibiotics for two solid weeks. Didn't see that coming!
Many decades ago, two women, Susanna Wesley and Anne Lamont, helped me learn how to move forward.
Susanna lived in the seventeen hundreds, was married to a poor preacher, had nineteen children, and had the tragedy of seeing most of them die. When asked how she coped, she said something like this, "I get up, wash my face, ready my devotions", etc. She essentially said, I keep going by keeping going.
This one thing has helped me over and over when my life's been turned up-side-down. And Anne Lamont (who is still very much with us) said the same thing in her book, "Bird by Bird."
And then there is Thomas Merton's most famous prayer that begins with:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.
These words may not seem comforting to you, but they are to me.
So, everyday, I do my devotions and (unless I just can't) take my 2 mile walk in my neighborhood. My neighbor, who is 90 and sharp as a tack, sometimes goes with me. She can't do it every day because she's booked up most mornings. We are both upbeat. No gossip. No interrupting. Likewise I try not to watch super scary TV (the news) more than a few minutes a day and I faithfully get together with other like minded friends (some of whom are in way worse shape than me,) and I watch Sunday morning worship on my TV, where I usually find some clues for living, like the title of this posting.
I have a couple of close friends with whom I can spill my guts from time to time and they do the same with me, but we almost always do it in a problem solving mode.
Why would we waste one day, at this point, whining and complaining when we're all living in a time when we desprately need to "Buckle Up Butter Cup."
***
(Old man painting by David Runyan.)
Here's an example:
My husband, Ken, died in 2004, after a long, dibilating illness. He was a United Methodist minister here in Florida. For the first nine years he was an urban minister. His office was a downtown store front and he was free to do the kind of ministry both of us felt called to.
Later on, the bishop assigned him to large, old downtown churches with big problems. Ken was a change agent and proud of it.
Later, we were sent to First United Methodist Church, West Palm Beach. It was a horrendous situation. The downtown had been obliterated. The church building was the only thing standing. Prior to our arriving it had been decided that this magnificent building, along with two smaller churches, would be torn down and one large church would be built.
All of these people were suffering and angry. And who could blame them?
It was a horrible time. Ken was a change agent, They needed a loving counselor. However, he got the job done, and, in addition, he suffered mightly and never really recovered.
What does this have to do with Amelia?
After Ken died I wanted to somehow make amends with the folks in West Palm Beach. I told Amelia and she wanted to help.
I am an introvert. Amelia was the epitome of an extrovert.
The two of us spent a long weekend in West Palm Beach. This was several years after Ken and I left the church. We visited a few of the old church people. Amelia did much of the chit chat. We attended Sunday services and hung around and admired the beautiful new church. Its name now is United Methodist Church of the Palm Beaches.
We never mentioned Ken. We just enjoyed these people and their new church. I zeroed in on a few who'd suffered the most through the change. Amelia asked me to point out the people who were angry with Ken. She zeroed in on them with pure love that only Amelia could pull off. In addition, Amelia and I had so much fun. We stayed in a quant little hotel, ate great sea food and explored the new downtown.
This was a major healing event in my life and I never could have done it without Amelia.
***
Today is both Valentine's Day and the beginning of Lent. I have had several decades of Valentine romance. And it only got better as time went by.
All three of them watched the Grammys a few evenings ago - to the very end. I don't watch anything at night so it's taken me a while to catch up with YouTube videos.
Aside from Jon Batiste and Taylor (whom I know because I don't live on the moon) I know very few of the performers.
But then Joni.
At 80 years old she has the right to sing her signature song, And I can relate to almost every word of it.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now.......From up and down, and still somehow.....It's cloud illusions, I recall
I really don't know clouds at all.....
I probably don't feel quite the way she does about love, but I know love, feel love, and allow myself to love, even though loving has its challenges and lives come to an end. But my faith makes me more comfortable with this. It takes courage to love as we age because our lovers leave us, if we don't leave them first. On this side of heaven all love affairs end in tragedy.
I've looked at love from both sides now.....From give and take, and still somehow.....It's loves illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all
Watching her on YouTube, where she sat in her big gold chair that swiveled around for all to see, I was deeply moved and could relate to every word.
But now old friends are acting strange.....They shake their heads, they say I've changed.....Well, something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.
The crowd was singing along, many of them in tears.
I've looked at life from both sides now.....From up and down, and still somehow.....It's life's illusions, I recall
I really don't know life at all.
***
s
Be fearlessly authentic
I received some yummy chocolates over the holidays. I'm still eating one piece a day. Of course I started with my box of See's, which we all know is the king of chocolate. Now I'm eating a small piece of Dove chocolates every morning.
Be the sculpture of your dreams
Just recently I noticed that inside the individual wrapper of my Dove chocolate is a wise saying. Some apply to me, some do not.
Book the flight
So now, in addition to my daily devotions (usually with Richard Rohr) and Bible verses, I now have this Dove affirmation to ponder.
Today is your day.
When life isn't going right, go left.
I do think the one below is a little self-serving.
Write a letter to a friend and send chocolate with it.
***