My grandparents on my mother's side had 13 children. I once asked my grandmother why she decided to have so many kids and she let me know that "deciding" had nothing to do with it.
It was one of my first awakenings to women not having choices.
This big family was, for the most part, good for me. Most of them lived in the adjoining state but when my little brother and I needed help many of them stepped up.
They were an insular group. They all came "home" for Sunday dinner. Many of them spent the entire weekend at "home" including spouses, kids, etc. If they had job or marriage problems they moved back home. This may seem like normal family behavior - but with 13 of them it was messy at times.
There was intrigue in their marriages. For instance, a brother married the daughter of his sister's husband. Just think of the lyrics to "I'm My Own Grandpa" and you'll have the idea.
Two of the brothers married sisters. These two couples were different. They had friends on the outside. They were church going Baptists (the good kind.) They did a great job of raising their children.
The last of the 13 kids, my uncle, died about 3 years ago. Yesterday his wife, the remaining sister, died.
As a child, I remember Aunt Catherine being one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen.
I'm not only an orphan and a widow - now all of those in the generations before me are gone.
I am the matriarch. I am the older generation. It can be lonely at the top.
It was one of my first awakenings to women not having choices.
This big family was, for the most part, good for me. Most of them lived in the adjoining state but when my little brother and I needed help many of them stepped up.
They were an insular group. They all came "home" for Sunday dinner. Many of them spent the entire weekend at "home" including spouses, kids, etc. If they had job or marriage problems they moved back home. This may seem like normal family behavior - but with 13 of them it was messy at times.
There was intrigue in their marriages. For instance, a brother married the daughter of his sister's husband. Just think of the lyrics to "I'm My Own Grandpa" and you'll have the idea.
Two of the brothers married sisters. These two couples were different. They had friends on the outside. They were church going Baptists (the good kind.) They did a great job of raising their children.
The last of the 13 kids, my uncle, died about 3 years ago. Yesterday his wife, the remaining sister, died.
As a child, I remember Aunt Catherine being one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen.
I'm not only an orphan and a widow - now all of those in the generations before me are gone.
I am the matriarch. I am the older generation. It can be lonely at the top.
