Buckle Up Butter Cup

 "Buckle Up Butter Cup" is what Paster Rachel said last Sunday prior to reading the Ten Commandments.  

I've been reminded of her words several times and it's only Wednesday.  

I am 85 years old and, while I seem to still have most of my marbles, at least until 5:pm or so, stuff is continuing to happen. 

We do not know what the future holds but, by seeing what's happening to my close friends and some family members....and me, it's going to be a bumpy road. 

So, how can we cope?  A couple of ways for me are to remind myself of who I am.  I am an analytical person.  I don't do "emotional" well at all, and I know this is sometimes seen as not caring.  I'm a planner, but almost every single day the plans need changing, due to unforeseeable happenings to me and others. For instance, out of the blue, I acquired a bacterial infection and have been on heavy antibiotics for two solid weeks.  Didn't see that coming!

Many decades ago, two women, Susanna Wesley and Anne Lamont, helped me learn how to move forward.  

Susanna lived in the seventeen hundreds, was married to a poor preacher, had nineteen children, and had the tragedy of seeing most of them die.  When asked how she coped, she said something like this, "I get up, wash my face, ready my devotions", etc.  She essentially said, I keep going by keeping going.

This one thing has helped me over and over when my life's been turned up-side-down.  And Anne Lamont (who is still very much with us) said the same thing in her book, "Bird by Bird."

And then there is Thomas Merton's most famous prayer that begins with:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end. 

These words may not seem comforting to you, but they are to me.    

So, everyday, I do my devotions and (unless I just can't) take my 2 mile walk in my neighborhood.  My neighbor, who is 90 and sharp as a tack, sometimes goes with me.  She can't do it every day because she's booked up most mornings.  We are both upbeat.  No gossip.  No interrupting.  Likewise I try not to watch super scary TV (the news) more than a few minutes a day and I faithfully get together with other like minded friends (some of whom are in way worse shape than me,) and I watch Sunday morning worship on my TV, where I usually find some clues for living, like the title of this posting.

I have a couple of close friends with whom I can spill my guts from time to time and they do the same with me, but we almost always do it in a problem solving mode.   

Why would we waste one day, at this point, whining and complaining when we're all living in a time when we desprately need to "Buckle Up Butter Cup."

***

(Old man painting by David Runyan.)

 

My Friend Amelia

 

Amelia, my good friend of 30 years, died yesterday.  She was a smart, funny extrovert who loved to travel and loved just being with people.  

Here's an example:   

My husband, Ken, died in 2004, after a long, dibilating illness.  He was a United Methodist minister here in Florida.  For the first nine years he was an urban minister.  His office was a downtown store front and he was free to do the kind of ministry both of us felt called to.  

Later on, the bishop assigned him to large, old downtown churches with big problems.  Ken was a change agent and proud of it. 

Later, we were sent to First United Methodist Church, West Palm Beach.  It was a horrendous situation.  The downtown had been obliterated.  The church building was the only thing standing.  Prior to our arriving it had been decided that this magnificent building, along with two smaller churches,  would be torn down and one large church would be built.  

All of these people were suffering and angry.  And who could blame them? 

It  was a horrible time.  Ken was a change agent,  They needed a loving counselor.  However, he got the job done, and, in addition, he suffered mightly and never really recovered. 

What does this have to do with Amelia?

After Ken died I wanted to somehow make amends with the folks in West Palm Beach.  I told Amelia and she wanted to help.  

I am an introvert.  Amelia was the epitome of an extrovert.  

The two of us spent a long weekend in West Palm Beach.  This was several years after Ken and I left the church. We visited a few of the old church people.  Amelia did much of the chit chat.  We attended  Sunday services and hung around and admired the beautiful new church.  Its name now is United Methodist Church of the Palm Beaches.  

We never mentioned Ken.  We just enjoyed these people and their new church.  I zeroed in on a few who'd suffered the most through the change.  Amelia asked me to point  out the people who were angry with  Ken. She zeroed in on them with pure love that only Amelia could pull off.  In addition, Amelia and I had so much fun.  We stayed in a quant little hotel, ate great sea food and explored the new downtown.    

This was a major healing event in my life and I never could have done it without Amelia. 

***

Love and Lent

 

Today is both Valentine's Day and the beginning of Lent.  I have had several decades of Valentine romance.  And it only got better as time went by.  

Today it is now a time of good memories.

 Lent is a period of fasting and regret for one's sins and is observed on the 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter.  For me, this has traditionally been a time of deep personal introspection.  

It's also a time for us to take a deep dive into our mortality.  I don't take this lightly.  I'm most likely a short timer here on this celestial ball. 

The Lenten service has always been meaningful to me so when I discovered my church was having a large service in the evening but none earlier, I was sad.  I no longer go out in the evening.  Bummer.

But then I heard that there might be a service at noon.  So, this morning I started out early to run some errands with the intention of ending up at church at noon.  I still had not seen anything in writing that there would be a service.

Some things went haywire early on.  The noise on the street made me sick, I had a hard time at the post office and, then at about 11 am I ended up at Panera Bread close to the church, for a late muffin and egg breakfast, but they were no longer serving breakfast.  Bummer.  I could go on, but you get the picture. 

So I'm walking to the church and I'm wondering if there will be a service and if there is, will I be the only person there?  Will it be loud?  I'm still hearing loud noise in my head (tinnitus) and can't handle anymore, even if it's beautiful music. 

I stepped into chapel.  Even after 30 years, I'm still in awe of its beauty. There was total silence.  But there were  20 plus older people present.  Most of whom I know.  There was a page of guided prayer and meditation. Pastor Rachel was up front in her jeans and liturgical stole.  After a while she greeted us and invited each of us to come forward to receive the imposition of ashes whenever we were ready.  She then sat down. And waited. 

So, very slowly, that's what happened.  

After a while of reading, deep breathing, mediating and introspection, I regained my bearings and went to the altar.  Pastor Rachel marked my forehead.  At that moment all was well with my soul.

This has turned out to be my best Valentine's Day in several years.

*** 

I've Seen Both Sides Too

 I'm in a text group with three family members in three different states.  I love them with a vengeance.

All three of them watched the Grammys a few evenings ago -  to the very end.  I don't watch anything at night so it's taken me a while to catch up with YouTube videos.  

Aside from Jon Batiste and Taylor (whom I know because I don't live on the moon) I know very few of the performers.  

But then Joni. 

At  80 years old she has the right to sing her signature song,  And I can relate to almost every word of it.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now.......From up and down, and still somehow.....It's cloud illusions, I recall

I really don't know clouds at all.....

I probably don't feel quite the way she does about love, but I know love, feel love, and allow myself to love, even though loving has its challenges and lives come to an end. But my faith makes me more comfortable with this.  It takes courage to love as we age because our lovers leave us, if we don't leave them first.  On this side of heaven all  love affairs end in tragedy.  

I've looked at love from both sides now.....From give and take, and still somehow.....It's loves illusions I recall

I really don't know love at all

Watching her on YouTube, where she sat in her big gold chair that swiveled around for all to see, I was deeply moved and could relate to every word.

But now old friends are acting strange.....They shake their heads, they say I've changed.....Well, something's lost, but something's gained 

In living every day.  

The crowd was singing along, many of them in tears. 

I've looked at life from both sides now.....From up and down, and still somehow.....It's life's illusions, I recall

I really don't know life at all. 

***

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