Are You Ready to be a Yalie?

As you know,  Florida's "Jobs" governor, Rick Scott, has suggested that Yale University move  down here to Florida because the  Connecticut State legislature has threatened to tax the university.  Yale was founded in New Haven over 300 years ago.

By the way, 300 years ago Florida was a total jungle so, from what little I know about Yalies, they would not have been able to hack it here at that time.  And I mean that literally.

Here are a few Yale stereotypes.  Preppy,  Liberal, WASP, Intellectual, Blue blood, Gay, Vegan Trust Fund babies.  So they are clearly not going to fit in here in Florida.  And we Floridans love ourselves just the way we are, not to mention that not many of us could fulfill the requirements for being a Yalie, including the 64,000 dollars a year annual bill.

But maybe we could work it out.

Just don't call us Townies.  Some of us like to be referred to as Crackers but be very careful about nick names.  Just be sure to bring lots of hair products due to our notorious extreme humidity.  And don't worry - we have plenty of Starbucks.

I think Governor Scott is on to something.  The relocation of Yale University to Florida will significantly raise our collective IQs and net worth and lower our average age.

But, on the other hand, Dave's dad went to Yale Divinity School and neither he nor the students who've received the proceeds from his endowed scholarship and have written Dave over the years seem to fit the stereotypes above.


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It's Easter! Let's Dance!

I danced in the morning when the world was young
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun.
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth.

As you know, Forum is a class that's been meeting in my church for several decades.  It's grown from a handfull of egg heads to a big group of super smart folks who like to sit on chairs and share ideas.

This morning we had our annual Easter Brunch.  I think there were around 60 of us.  Two long tables were laden with gorgeous food.  

On Easter, instead of heavy conversation, we have a light devotion.  Maybe ten minutes.

My friend and fellow Power Ranger agreed to do this devotion.  What would she do?  She certainly knows personally the concept of "It is finished."  (No, wait.)  "He is risen."

I danced on a Friday when the world turned black
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body, they thought I was gone
But I am the dance, and the dance goes on. 

Here's what she did.  She started with a celebrating Shel Silverstein poem, then morphed into serious words from Jan Richardson.

Then, then, to the tune of our resident group of ukulele players in the background she lead us in singing Lord of the Dance.  This is a modern hymn, written in 1963 by Sydney Carter that depicts, in Jesus' own voice, his dancing through it all.

And then, then she had us all up, holding hands and dancing,  a conga line of super smart, usually in control, usually reserved, seniors, snaking around in the crowded room, singing and laughing.

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be 
And I lead you all in the dance, said he 

He is risen, indeed!


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Free Press

As you know, I am a huge fan of the concept of free press.  This Doonesbury cartoon from years past is about the downfall of Papa Doc in Haiti.

A more recent reminder of the need for hard nosed investigative reporting is the Academy Award winning film Spotlight - the story of how The Boston Globe revealed the Catholic Church's cover-up of a massive number of sexual assaults on children by priests.

In this crazy political time it's hard to take TV news people seriously.  They seem more like People Magazine on steroids. The 24 hour news feeds make it hard to stay on focus at times.  For instance, as far as I'm concerned, the bird that landed on Bernie Sanders podium yesterday has received way too much attention.

 But I think most TV journalists , along with newspaper editorialists and some syndicated columnists are still digging deep to help us get what we need in order to make important decisions.

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Tuberculosis

I talked with a person this week who was ranting about how this is the worst time in history.

It's not even close!

When I was growing up far worse things were happening and far more people were suffering and dying.  I had two friends in my neighborhood who lived in iron lungs.

As I've said before in this blog, my family was profoundly affected by tuberculosis.  My mother and two of her brothers had it.  They all died young.  But prior to that they were separated from their families for years.  This was not uncommon.

And then a cure for TB was found.  And, for decades, in our country, we've believed that TB was a disease of the past.

But Longwood attorney and global volunteer, Susan Keller, wrote an interesting article for the Orlando Sentinel this morning telling us that tuberculosis is currently the Number One infectious disease in the world.  It's one of the biggest causes of poverty around the globe and one of the five biggest causes of death for women ages 15 to 44.  (My mother was 34 when she died in 1947.)

Since most of the cases of TB are now in other parts of the world, why should we care?  TB does not respect borders.  62 million people visited us here in Central Florida in 2014.  Most of them were concentrated in the "Attractions" area.  And, in addition to spending buckets of money, most of them were breathing and coughing while they were here.

Here's the good news:  We know how to treat TB.  We know how to cure TB.  We know how to prevent TB.  We just have to decide whether or not we want to.

Susan Keller would like us to encourage our country to continue to be a part of the Global Fund to fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria.  This fall world leaders will come together to, again, pledge our support of this plan.

Think how the world would be changed if all three of these diseases were wiped off of our beautiful blue globe.


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Obscene Wealth

Steve Martin used to do the very best imitations of rich people's cluelessness and how we middle class folks vacillate from thinking being filthy rich is obscene to wishing it was us.  Remember his "King Tut" song about the time the Tutankhamun wealth and jewels were being shown around the US?

Now when I die,
Now don't think I'm a nut, 
(King Tut) 
Don't want no fancy funeral,
Just one like ole King Tut,
(King Tut)
He coulda won a Grammy,
(King Tut)
Buried in his Jammies.
(King Tut)

Now, today, I read this in the paper:

CAIRO - Radar scans of King Tutankhamn's burial chamber have revealed two hidden rooms....Antiquities Minister Momdouh el Damaty declined to comment on whether any treasure or more mummies might be in the rooms.  

So we regular folks have to again deal with (sometimes long time dead) rich folks getting richer.

Another outrageously funny bit was SNL's "Steve Martin's Christmas Wish List."  The list started

with this:

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. 

But Steve ends up with this:

First, the sex - we go with that; second, the money.  No!  We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids.  Oh, wait, oh geez!  I forgot about the revenge against my enemies!   Okay...revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell!  That would be the fourth wish!  And of course, my fifth wish would be fore all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony.

Somehow, these old Steve Martin routines seem so relevant.


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Did You Have Pi Today?

Thousands of years ago, the ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, Chinese and Greeks all discovered that when the distance around a circle is divided by the circle's diameter, the answer is always the same number.  We call it. "pi."

Today is the day we sit around and eat pie and think about how we'd like to be mathematicians - but we can't because we're - you know - female.

But the truth is, women have always been capable of doing "math."  In fact, women were some of our first "computers."  One hundred or so years ago a "computer" was a person who examined data and performed calculations.

And, in the late 1800s Edward Pickering, faced with the massive task of cataloging all of the stars in the sky, chose to hire women instead of men.  They were later called the "Harvard Computers."

So, to celebrate pi day, look up these four Harvard Computers:  Williamina Fleming, Antonia Maury, Annie Jump Cannon and Henrietta Leavitt.

And maybe, if you feel like it, bake a square pie.


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A Biblical Scholar Talks About Aging

Dr. Luke Timothy
Johnson

Not many of us regular folks very often get to sit at the feet of a true biblical scholar.  On Thursday I had the privilege of listening to Professor Luke Timothy Johnson speak to a small group of mostly United Methodist ministers.  Dr. Johnson occupies Emory's most distinguished endowed chair, the Robert Woodruff Chair at Emory's Candler School of Theology.

For a guy who spends his life in an ivory tower, he was thoughtful, respectful of his audience, self deprecating, and quite funny.  I loved every minute of it.

In the second half he talked a bit about suffering and aging.  Along with his big brain, Professor Johnson has this going for him:  He's 71 years old with some health issues and his wife is 81 years old with serious health issues.  He is her caregiver.

Here are a couple of quotes on suffering:

Suffering is not evil - unless we inflict it on others.

Pain can be transforming. 

Suffering "is."  (Meaning suffering happens to all of us.)

The professor's words on aging were profound to me, partly because he's currently in the midst of it,  as I am.  How is it to age in a society that denies death?  On the other hand, throughout history, it has been a blessing to reach old age - because so many die young.

When I'm aging:

• Choices matter more.  If I mess up my finances when I'm 30 I have time to fix them.  Not so at 75.
• We lack predictability.  Things happen to us in an instant.
• How do we truly age in a culture in which aging is denied?
• Aging is acceptable if you don't appear to be aging.  Showing fragility is an affront to society.
• We all age differently.  Wildly differently.  An Appalachian woman with a poor diet and no medical care ages much differently than a wealthy woman on the east coast. 
• How do we endure with patience until the end?
• Are worth and sanctity restricted to independence?
• What is the meaning of the hope of resurrection?

And here's what he told us, in this segment, about the Bible and most other ancient writings.  They say almost nothing about aging.


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International Women's Day

On this special day, March 8th, we celebrate women all over the world.  But I want to share with you a situation here at home that troubles me.  Being "sort of" aware of dating apps (which, by the way, seem pretty healthy to me) I've been distressed lately reading about "hookup" apps.

The technology section of last September's issue of Vanity Fair was all about these apps.  A popular scenario looks like this:  Visualize an upscale bar where young professionals are gathered.  But they're not talking to each other.  "Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening."  One guy explains it like this:  "It's setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you've slept with in a year"  "He, himself, has slept with five different women...in the last eight days."

They're not looking for relationships on Tinder and the other apps.  They're just looking for "Hit it and Quit it."  There is no dating.  There is no relationship.

So how is this affecting women?

 The following woman's comment seems to be the prevailing view:  "It seems like the girls don't have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that...Sex should stem from emotional intimacy, and it's the opposite with us right now, and I think it really is kind of destroying female's self-images."

"The double standard is real."

I found this entire seven page article to be depressing.  What's with these young women and their willingness to put up with these shenanigans?  And are men really this shallow?

I'll leave you with this final quote from Justin Garcia, scientist at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction.  (As you know, this is the gold standard for sex research.)

There have been two major transitions in heterosexual mating in the last four million years...The first was around 10,000 to 15,000 years ago, in the agricultural revolution, when we became less migratory and more settled...leading to the establishment of marriage as a cultural contract.

The second major transition is with the rise of the Internet.

What a scary time in history for young adults to establish new, long lasting relationships.



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Dave COMPLEATS Me

Even though my last posting was (sort of) about healthy eating, Dave and I  do go a little crazy once in a while.  For instance,  sometimes in the evening Dave zaps himself up a frozen dinner.  Hormel makes a set of meals called COMPLEATS.   You know you have something special when even the name has been invented.

But there's a problem.  Once the microwave has finished the COMPLEAT, Dave can't get the container open.  He has had to resort to getting out his tool box and finding his needle nosed pliers to pull back the plastic film.

So Dave wrote Hormel one of his special letters.  I love these letters.  Since Hormel is located in Austin, Minnesota, Dave first explained that he'd been a resident of Minnesota for 49 years, but then his wife died and he met this new woman, etc, etc.  (You know the story.)

In the next chatty paragraph he tells how he happened upon the COMPLEATS in his Publix Supermarket here in Altamonte Springs, Florida.  And: "...since they are a product of Hormel in my old state of Minnesota...how could I resist?"

In the letter's third paragraph he gets to the point about having to use the pliers.  He ends by saying...."Check it out."

Plastic top that resquires Dave's
pliers to remove

A week later Dave had a letter back from  a person at Hormel named Cheryl (no last name) who identifies herself as a "Consumer Engagement Specialist."  Cheryl's letter is short and to the point:

You may find it beneficial to try these alternative heating instructions.

Cheryl then lists six steps for an alternate means of heating and removing the plastic film.  (Yes, it takes six steps to remove the cover.  How is this easier than using the pliers?)

But Cheryl also gave Dave a coupon worth $3.00 toward a mind boggling number of Hormel food products - including SPAM.   It's interesting that Hormel feels a need to state that these are "food' products.


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Food That Last Forever

I love Tootsie Rolls but I once saw a guy on TV unwrap a 30 year old Tootsie Roll and eat it.  That disturbed me.  Why do some "foods" last forever?  Foods like...

- Walmart Ice Cream Sandwich - I read that this sandwich doesn't melt.  It just stays the same, whatever you do to it.

- McDonald's hamburger.  I love them.  But, apparently, unlike real bread and meat, they don't deteriorate.

- Diet Caffeine Free Coke

- Kraft American Cheese

- Cured Meats

All of the items above have a tremendous amount of additives, i.e., chemicals added to make them last a very scary amount of time.  I gave up eating movie popcorn when I read that much of it contains 16 ingredients, including Red Dye # 10.

Of course, there is the theory that if we eat these chemicals we'll last forever too - but I'm not counting on that.  I gave up Twinkies and Hostess Cup Cakes a long time ago.

As you know, I am the queen of fast food, but Dave and I try to pretty much eat healthy.  The biggest thing about eating at home is that, even though they get all wrinkly when they get old (like us,)  bananas, peaches and strawberries don't have chemicals.  But watch out for that can of Reddi wip.  

And, yes, there are some yummy foods that last forever with no additives:  Honey, maple syrup, beans and salt, to name a few.



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