Exotic Florida

Floridians love exotic pets.  When my older son was young he had a pet fish.  It wasn't just any fish, it was an Oscar.  Oscar fish are native to South America but they're all over the place now.  My son's Oscar was big.  He kept it in an aquarium on his desk - with a piece of plywood over the top because Oscar was always trying to escape.

I was scared to death of him.  The Oscar, not my son.

Sometimes Oscar would bump up against the plywood so many times that he'd actually flip it and fling himself out onto the floor where you could hear him flopping around all over the house.  If Scott wasn't home I'd have to pick up Oscar and throw him back into the tank.  Very scary business.

What did he eat?  Anything that went into the tank.  Oscars eat mice but I don't remember Scott ever feeding him mice.  His favorite treat was raw hamburger. (That's Oscar, not Scott.)

We in Florida read all the time about folks trying to sneak exotic pets and foods into the country.  There are whole areas in South Florida where parrots and other exotic birds have been let loose.  We also have a big problem with pythons.

And speaking of pythons, this morning's paper had an article about a Brazilian trying to get through airport security in Miami with several baby pythons and tortoise hatchlings in his underpants.

I hope they let him go.  I think having baby tortoises and pythons in your underwear is punishment enough. 


***

What a Difference a Decade Makes

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.  I guess we will all evaluate our lives a bit in the next couple of days. 



The photo above was taken in 2002 at the annual Winter Park 4th of July party.  I was having a nice time with my Oldies and my late husband, Ken, who was terminally ill.  I can't tell you how difficult it was watching this brilliant, energetic, creative man disappear before my eyes.  But I was determined to keep him at home until the end, even though I was aware that care giving spouses tend to die before the patient.  I was exhausted in body, mind and, occasionally, in spirit. But I figured I'd probably spend the rest of my life "resting" in front of the TV set.

The photo below was taken a few months ago in Venice Beach, California.  Dave and I are having a fantastic time on one of our many fabulous trips. 

What a difference a decade makes!  I've had a life full of love, hard but meaningful work, and a big beautiful family but, for some strange reason that I don't understand, this is My Best Time.

God works in mysterious ways. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

***

Fun on the Road

Just arrived home from our annual Christmas trip to the north.  Lots of fun seeing families.  Hope you enjoyed the holidays wherever you were.  Some of you don't celebrate Christmas. I wish you well - as well!

Driving back from Atlanta was a bit of a challenge due to every other American and Canadian heading for our neighbor, Disney World, at the same time.  I felt bad when I heard on the radio this morning that Disney and Universal had to turn folks away yesterday.  They were full up.

But we made it home despite the massive traffic.  Here are some highlights.

On the way up north Dave had a little health issue.  We found a clinic in Macon, Georgia.  They did blood work right there on the spot so we were in and out and on the road with our antibiotics within a couple of hours.  These clinics that have sprung up around the country are terrific for little stuff.  And so convenient.

We like to pick up those little coupon books for hotels and such.  On the way up we stayed at a place that was discounted to $40 plus.  Not so great.  On the way back we stayed at a Country Suites, discounted at $50 plus.  What a difference ten dollars makes!  It was nifty, with indoor pool, work out room, warm cookies and the big breakfast that I love.  As you know, I don't actually eat the big breakfast but I like to look it over.

Prior to starting our travels we headed to the library to check out books on tape.  Yes, we're still old school.  We listened to six hours of a David Baldacci mystery.  It was OK.  Then listened to Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion 25th Anniversary series.  There just isn't a better short story teller.

One from his early days was about a 13 year old nerdy little kid who loved to write, (much like Keillor himself.)  His 17 year old cousin came to visit and, via a sweet, sad, funny narration we learn that the cousin is pregnant.  The boy eavesdrops on the conservative, Lutheran, Lake Wobegon parents and other relatives and learns that they're going to throw her out if she doesn't write a letter of contrition, stating what a vile and wanton sinner she's been and how she fully repents.  The kid tells his cousin what she has to do and she says no, she can't write such a letter because it wouldn't be honest.  The kids says, "I'll write it for you."  And he proceeds to write a very flowery, apologetic letter of contrition that only a 13 year old writer could pull together.  Especially since he's not really sure of what she did to get herself pregnant.  He's very proud of what he's written. 

But then the phone rings and it's the cousin's boyfriend asking her to marry him.  She does and they stay married for 30 years and the boy never gets to show off his excellent letter.

I'm happy to be home with lots to do, but I miss the folks in Lake Wobegon - as well as my own family.


***

My Favorite Restaurant

You already know how I love McDonald's.  So what a cool experience last week to sit on a plane next to a man who works for McDonald's.  OK, I know that almost everybody in the country has worked at McDonald's at one time or another, but this man had been an exec - and now does consulting work for them all over the world.  And he's darn proud of his company - as well he should be.

We talked about consistency, safety (when have you ever heard of anybody getting sick eating at McDonald's?) and decor.  And, yes, after we talked a while I was able to express my disappointment with the Asian Chicken Salad going away.  Good news - It'll be back. 

They must just like to tease us with it, like the McRib.

Following are some fun facts about McDonald's.

The first McDonald's drive thru opened in 1975 on an Arizona military base to serve soldiers who weren't permitted to get out of their cars while wearing fatigues.

McDonald's is the leading foodsource retailer on the planet.

Ronald McDonald speaks 31 languages.

My sister in law's dad was the only person I know who didn't like Ronald McDonald.  Many years ago he was a local Popeye impersonator in Indianapolis and he was jealous of Ronald because he got all the good gigs in children's hospitals. 

The highest McDonald's is located in Kuala Lumpur Tower in Indonesia.  This is where Dave was born.  Not in the tower but in the city.

The golden arches are the most recognized symbol in the world.

There are 179 McDonald restaurants in India.

While I was in Denver and was sharing my love of McDonald's with a very sophisticated friend, she surprised me by saying she felt the same way.  She's been all over the world and said she's eaten breakfast and/or lunch at a McDonald's in every country she visited.  She added, "I'd eat dinner there as well if they served alcohol."

***

Is That Grandma's Underwear Hanging in That Tree?

We're on day 15 of an on going washer/dryer saga.  Don't worry, I'm not sharing the gory details.  Just know that we've been inspired, once more, by Harry Truman who was known, among other things, for washing out his own undies when he was traveling.

But we're keeping our sense of humor.  And feeling grateful for this time of year when something wonderful is happening every day.  Yesterday Dave attended a party at his art class where they had a smorgasbord of great food.  Dave loves trying a little bit of everything.  The artists exchanged cards they'd made for each other.  I attended my favorite annual Christmas lunch with my Power Rangers.  I love them so much.  Last night we had pizza and salad with family members. 

We've already given and received gifts and we've given lots of gifts to less fortunate folks.  Our church makes it easy to do.  And the parties just keep coming. 

We're feeling blessed that we have the means to do this.  And to do so many things together - like work out at the same place the Orlando Magic works out - only Dwight Howard might be turning in his towel for the last time soon. 

We're blessed that we can afford a new washer and dryer.  And that some day they will show up. 

In the meanwhile, we have laundry hanging all over this condo.  Not actually outside, however, because our condo board has strict rules about where you park your car and where you hang your undies.


***

Flying too High With Some Guy in the Sky...

We're getting ready to travel.  It's that time of year.  I don't like to travel but I love being in other places.  As you know, we flew to Denver last week.  Since we flew Southwest, we didn't get to sit together.  When we came down the isle Dave pointed to the first desirable seat and said, "You sit here."  Yes, he loves me that much. 

But it worked out well because the guy next to me was an exec for one of my very favorite restaurants, McDonald's.  I'll share with you soon some of the exciting things he told me about Mickey D's.  All in all, a good flight each way. 

Next week we'll fly from Atlanta to Chicago for a couple of days.  I'm hoping we'll have no craziness like what happened to some women flying from New York to South Florida last week.

Three old ladies in three separate incidents were strip searched in the airport by the TSA.

- Lenore, 84, was a suspected terrorist because she had a defibrillator for her heart. 

- Linda, 66, was suspected of being a terrorist because she was wearing a glucose monitor.

- Ruth, 88, was suspected because she was wearing a colostomy bag.

Thankfully, at the present time, I don't have any spare parts but you never know what the TSA folks will find suspicious so I'm going to try, as I always do, to mind my "Ps" and "Qs"  when I go through security.

And here's a personal note to Lenore, Linda and Ruth.  Don't let this depressing incident at the airport keep you from enjoying your holidays - and especially don't let it keep you from flying wherever you want to go in the future.


***

Harry is Gone



Harry J. Welch 1921 - 2011

This past week Dave and I were in Denver for a memorial service for Harry Welch, whom I've affectionately called "My Oldie" in this blog.  He died over a week ago. 

Last Saturday, during the Christmas Parade I was really missing him because, as you know, Harry stopped more than one parade to allow his wife, who was the love of his life, to cross the street to have her hair done.

There is no way, at this point, to convey how I felt about this larger than life character. But his family and the minister did a good job of capturing who he was. 

His son wrote the following words about him in a song:

This is the man that I remember,

He was strong and caring and smart,

He saw the world as a Van Gogh painting,

He knew life as a work of art.

About a dozen years ago Harry was invited by a man in Winter Park to be a part of a small group of men to gather and discuss great ideas in philosophy, history, theology, and so on.  I, of course, teased Harry by referring to it as the Woman Haters Club.   Later on this same man started another group for both sexes so I was able to be a part of it, along with Harry.  And I was reminded once again, as we discussed great books,  of what a brilliant man he was.

Last week I wrote this man to tell him Harry had died.  He wrote back saying: 

I'm so sorry to hear about Harry, who I always adored.  He was a very special guy with an amazing mind and sense of humor, and I'll miss him enormously.

And so will I.

***



The Parade Was Ten Hours Long

Yesterday we went to the Winter Park Christmas parade.  Well, we went to breakfast as we usually do, ate, read the paper, talked with folks, and then walked outside to watch the parade for a bit.

The parade is always lots of fun.  It's one of those parades that it seems like every person with a kid, a wagon or a dog can march in.  I've told several people that it lasted ten hours but it really didn't.  Only two-three hours.

I do tend to exaggerate.  I like to exaggerate.  I've said to Dave, "If anybody ever tries to put me in an MRI, just shoot me."  But I don't actually want him to shoot me.  I just don't want to suffocate in an MRI.  Sometimes I say "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."  But I couldn't - and I wouldn't, even though it looks like the government might lift restrictions on slaughtering horses for human consumption.

When I exaggerate I'm using hyperbole.  One of the features of hyperbole is that what is said is not logically possible. 

But I'm in good company when I use hyperbole.  None other than Jesus used it extensively when he was walking among us.  He said things like "get the log out of your own eye," or "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off," or "If you have enough faith and say to a mountain, 'be lifted up and thrown into the sea' it will be done." 

Jesus is telling the truth - but using hyperbole.  We need to take his words seriously but not literally.

So when I say it's raining cats and dogs.  You know what I mean.

***

My Power Rangers

As you know, I have this special group of friends that I like to call my Power Rangers.  That's not what they call themselves but I think they continue to be full of the most important kind of power imaginable.  And they're all over the place, hence the ranger part.

Of course I have other friends, even other very close friends, but these women hold a particular place in my life. 

It's hard to describe us.  But, strangely, none other than the outrageous Roseanne Bar wrote an article in the most recent Newsweek that makes me think of my Power Rangers.

She writes about life after menopause and how good it is.  Like:

Sometimes, as the months whip past now, like telephone poles from the window of a bullet train, I continue to realize how much of my life I spent firmly under the thumb of Mother Nature, that inscrutable Boss Lady.

A few years ago one of my Power Rangers wanted to use the word "Crone" to describe us.  I didn't like it.  But Roseanne Bar likes it. She says:

Depending on who's defining the word "crone," it can be a really wonderful gem of language.  Crone got saddled with the role of synonym for hag, and old grizzled woman who's often bitchy at best, malicious at worst........Luckily, intelligent women and some men, have begun returning the word to its rightful definition; an experienced, mature woman who's arrive on the north shore of the raging seas of this largely corrupt planet.

In other words, there's a lot that's good about getting older.  And my Power Rangers are still using their powers in a magnificent way for good.  As Bar sums up her article:

You don't need a young athletic body or piles of money to read some of the world's great books; or to soak up brilliant music and art; or to grow something beautiful in a little garden spot.  May your uterus remain relatively undisturbed during these, your glorious turban years!

I'm leaving now to go meet my Power Rangers for a birthday lunch.  I have a heavy heart this morning because another friend of mine, who just moved away so I can't see him, is dying.  I most likely won't share this news at the birthday celebration ....but the PRs will empower me anyway.


***

Higher Ed

Dave and I both are involved in helping to provide educations for college students who can't foot the bill.  That includes most students these days.  Recently, we were talking about the percentage of young adults who go straight from high school to college - and graduate in four years.

Dave thought the number was high.  I didn't.

 But I can understand his premise.  His kids went straight from high school to collage and graduated in four yeas.  Mine did as well.

  But I know that's not the norm. I recently read some statistics saying that 50 percent of kids from wealthy homes ($87,000 or more) got their degrees in four years - but only 9 percent of low income ($26,000 or more) students graduated. 

These stats are scary for our country but we can all understand the reasons for this disparity.  I went to college first at night after working a nine hour day and then, years later after working, caring for my kids and husband, volunteering in my church, and getting three meals on the table.  In other words, it was a luxury after everything else was done.

My kids had it easier.  But not much. 

I can't image how fantastic it would be to get a free ride to a bachelor's degree or higher without having to be concerned about other, sometimes crushing, responsibilities.

Sounds like heaven to me.


***

I've Got the Sun in the Morning and the Moon at Night

Did you have a good Thanksgiving day?  It seems like even those folks who like to complain a lot can crank up some good thoughts on Thanksgiving.  Even George Will wrote a kind of light hearted (for him) column on Thursday.  He even told a joke about the economy in Europe.

A Spaniard, an Italian and a Greek go into a bar.  They drink until dawn.  Who pays the tab?  A German.

Hahahahahaha, George.  You crazy guy.

Yes, we do live in trying times but now is the season for us to be filled with love and try not to be scared out of our wits. Just don't buy stuff you can't afford.  I'm trying to let folks know how much I love them in other ways.

Don't look at your 401K.  Instead take Irving Berlin's advice and do this:

Taking stock of what I have
and what I haven't
What do I find?

The things I've got will keep me satisfied.

Got no diamonds
Got no pearl
Still I think I'm a lucky girl
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. 

Got no mansion
Got no yacht
Still I'm happy with what I've got
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.

And with the sun in the morning and the moon in the evening
I'm alright.


***

J. Edgar

The movie "J. Edgar," directed by the great Clint Eastwood, has had mixed reviews.  We saw it on Saturday. 

I understand the mix.

It's long and dry.  No warmth.  But, as far as I can recollect, it's an accurate depiction of our first director of the FBI, J. Edgar Hoover.  He scared and intimidated all of us for almost 40 years - and that includes all of the presidents he served under. 

We'll have to admit he did some good but, to me, that can't override the harm.

Coincidentally, I'm currently reading "In the Garden of the Beasts," the best selling book by Erik Larson.  It's about the rise of Hitler in Germany.  I'd certainly never before thought about any comparison of Hitler and Hoover but I thought about it a lot while watching the movie.

• They both hunted down and punished anybody who got in their way - including those in power.
• They were both paranoid about so called subversives and radicals.
• They were both self loathing in their personal lives and accused others of the very lifestyles they were actively pursuing.
• They both liked to dress up.

Both Leonardo DeCaprio and Armie Hammer give powerhouse performances as Hoover and his long time lover, Clyde Tolson.  In the movie, the relationship between these two was loving.  (But I've read over the years that Hoover played out his gay leanings in most unhealthy ways.)

After the movie, over bowls of soup, Dave and I discussed whether or not it's possible for our world wide leaders to be totally full of integrity.  I don't know the answer to that but I hope it's yes.


*** 

Garbage Detail

Have you ever had to dig around  in the garbage to find something you or your kids accidentally tossed?  I've stuck my hand into more messy garbage disposals and cans than you can imagine.  I've dived for retainers, pacifiers, jewelry, toys and lots more. 

But what a great feeling to  complete the rescue.

Last week's paper told the story of a man in south Florida  who, when he threw away his razor, accidentally threw his wife's 1.5-carat ring into the garbage.   And it, along with tons of other things, made its way to the dump.

He went after it.  After lots of rummaging in knee deep smelly yuke, and at one point, throwing up, he "hit pay dirt" when he recognized a pink cup from his wife's favorite yogurt shop.  He kept digging until he found their own personal garbage bag - and eventually discovered the ring in a puddle of black sludge. ''

Man, I know the feeling.


***

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Last week we saw the most current "Ape" movie at our neighborhood theater.  I wasn't too excited about it but Dave had never seen any in the series so we went.

We both loved it.

I had no idea that James Franco stars in this movie.  He's no Charlton Hesten but he's, you know, James Franco.  Actually the movie is very contemporary and not at all like the old ones.  Franco's father, played by the great John Lithgow, has Alzheimer's and scientist Franco is trying to find a cure. 

Because of this they end up adopting a really cute, sweet and enormously smart baby ape named Caesar. By the way, this photo is of Caesar, not Franco.

Franco has managed to produce a formula that makes the apes he's experimenting on really, really smart.  The first thing I thought of was that maybe James Franco has taken this drug in real life. Because, as you know, he's really, really smart.  And full of energy (like the apes.)

There's the writing, acting, directing, painting, teaching at New York University, oh yes, and getting the Ph.D thingy from Yale.

But then, in the movie, the formula (SPOILER ALERT) kills every person on the planet so I guess this is not what gives Franco his energy and intelligence.

The filming is beautiful.  I love the house and the neighborhood.  The apes all have personalities.

If you can get over all of the human beings dying issue, it has a pretty satisfying ending.  (Don't leave when the credits begin to roll because there's more to the story.)

So, if you don't have a neighborhood theater that shows second run movies for $1.25 except on Tuesdays when they're 75 cents, consider renting "Rise of the Planet of the Apes.


***

Forgiveness

This morning, in my Forum Class, two people I love and respect led a discussion on forgiveness using a book called "Amish Grace."  It's about the tragedy a few years ago when those little school girls were gunned down in their little schoolhouse by a mad man.  But it's primarily about the totally loving and forgiving response of the Amish community.

In general, we had a wonderful discussion.  To me it veered off a wee bit by getting into talks about Penn State, 9/11 and so on.  But I know part of that's just me.  I always think the topic should be internalized and not about what "those people" should have done.  In Forum, it's about us at what we are called to do and be as followers of the teachings of Christ.

Not what we would like to do and be in our time of pain and suffering caused by others - but what we are called to do and be.

Our leaders did a wonderful job of presenting this concept:

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive us who trespass against us. This is what the Amish children are taught from day one.

Of course there are always those around who say - sometimes in a variety of ways - "Well, what would you do if someone profoundly hurt your child?"

People have hurt my children just as people have hurt your children.  And it always hurts us as well (Sometimes even more than it hurts them.)  And then a couple of years ago someone physically and emotionally and permanently hurt my child. In a profound way.  With a gun.

This morning we needed at least another hour to discuss the meaning of forgiveness.  One thing I know, it doesn't come from weakness.  It comes from profound strength.


***

New Words

The American Heritage Dictionary just put out its new edition containing 10,000 new words!  Can you imagine?  Here are some that you know . 

• Cargo pants
• Hoodie
• Baby daddy
• Tramp stamp

Here's one you might not know.

• Spaghettification 

No, it's not pasta.  It's an astronomical term describing something like a black hole that stretches and then falls forward.

Here's one thats' definition is changing.

• Marriage

It's now defined as "The legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife".....and...."In some jurisdictions, between two persons of the same sex."

Here's a question to ponder:  Will this be the last edition of a print dictionary?


***

What If You Were a Little Kid and Had No Place to Go?

Let the little children come to me. Jesus
When you've done it for the least of these you've done it for me.  Jesus 

Yesterday Dave and I went to a luncheon at the Florida United Methodist Children's Home.  It's a wonderful place and very beautiful.  I worked there many years ago.  It was a good place then but even better now. 

I know tons of stories about kids who've had their lives changed at the Children's Home. 

I wish, that, when my little brother and I were growing up, we'd been at the Children's Home.

Here are three new groups the Home is now helping: 

• A beautiful cottage for girls who have babies or are pregnant.  I want to call them little girls because a 13 year old, to me, is a little girl.  Even if she has a baby. 

• A beautiful cottage for little boys who've been sexually traumatized.

• A a foster care program for babies.  Couples care for these babies and toddlers in their own homes.  Sometimes the babies arrive badly injured or addicted.

While we were having lunch I also learned that one of the teenagers who was a resident at the Children's Home when I worked there is now running for mayor of Orlando. 

Yikes!  Am I that old? 


***

Can Mark Harmon Pull It Off?

I'm a huge fan of the John Sanford "Prey" books.  Dave got me started a few years ago and now I think I've read all of them. They're detective stories.  The protagonist is Lucas Davenport.  He's a smart, great looking, independently wealthy, snappy dressing leader of Minnesota's Bureau of Criminal Apprehension (BCA.) 

He's also a loner who "takes no prisoners."  He's a sort of Dirty Harry in a thousand dollar suit.

I'm also a big fan of Mark Harmon who plays Leroy Jethro Gibbs on NCIS.  Harmon's bringing Sanford's "Certain Prey" to television tonight on the USA Channel. 

I hope he can pull it off.  Thousands of us have Lucas Davenport fixed in our minds in a certain way.  Harmon, in real life, is 60 years old. 

I hope he's able to pull off a hot 40 something detective with a hot surgeon wife named Weather to my satisfaction. 

I'll be watching.


*** 

Time Management

Yesterday my Internet service went kaflooey.  I hate when that happens.  After trying everything I called my Internet provider. 

Another hour of fooling around. 

Upshot was that we couldn't fix it over the phone so a service call was necessary. 

"Will you be available tomorrow?"

"What time tomorrow?"

"All day."

Today's paper has an article titled "Hours spent cooling heels for cable guy cost us billions."  It says Americans waste an average of  4 1/2 hours per year waiting for repair people.

When I was a consultant one of my most popular seminars was on "Time Management."  It was not all about time being money - it was about time being your life - and how you want to spend it.

It used to be - like for all of history until about 50 years ago - that women primarily waited.  They waited for their men to come home from the war, from the golf course, etc.  Now it's a more even playing field. We all waste time waiting. 

Some might say that older, retired folks (like me) have the time to wait.  I say we have less time.  After you've hit a certain age - every minute counts.

With the invention of this new communication device called cell phones - there's no practical reason for people to stay home all day waiting for a repair person.

Yesterday I explained - in a nice way, of course - some of the above to the Internet guy.  Within 15 minutes after we hung up he had the problem fixed.

***

Celebrity News

I woke up at 5:45 this morning and turned the radio to my news station.  The first four news items were as follows:

Kim Kardasian Speaks out About Her Break Up After 72 Days of Marriage

Do you remember the O.J. trial when Kim's dad, Robert, was part of the dream team?  He and O.J. were good friends.  O.J. moved in with them after the tragic death of his wife.  As we've discussed before, lots of folks' careers took off after that trial.  It ignited a cottage industry.

Now the next generation has taken the Kardasian brand to heights dad never dreamed of. Wouldn't he be proud of Kim and her sisters that look just like her, and his dancing son, and his wife, and Bruce?

Lindsay Lohan to Get 30 Days in the Slammer

Isn't this, like, old news?  We've heard it before.

More Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Claims

I never, for a minute, thought Herman Cain would be our next president but I did think he was a good and decent man, a good role model for all of us in many ways.  What's happening now is sad and depressing.

Justin Bieber's Fans Make Death Threats

Talk about sad!  I bought one of my granddaughters a Justin Bieber doll for Christmas.  I'm going to wait until the blood tests come out before I return it.

---

I know there must be other news happening in the world but these are the first bits I heard.  What does this say about us?


***

Yes, We're Creepy

John Walsh of "America's Most Wanted" was quoted in the paper today saying Florida has a lot of creeps. 

They're not necessarily born here but, like everybody else, they come down here to hide out.  Walsh said that of the 1,200 people caught on his show, 30 per cent have been found in Florida.

We Floridians don't like to brag about it but we are fully aware of our serial killers and rapists, not to mention our colorful politics.  We also have the most exciting trials.

Have you seen this photo going around the Internet showing former Florida resident O.J. Simpson and current resident Casey Anthony?

Now, this is creepy.

***

The Ides of March

We saw "Th Ides of March" a couple of weeks ago.  I like politics.  I like George Clooney.  I wasn't bored. 

But I had a hard time with the movie.  Very cynical.  Clooney produced, directed and co-stared so I was expecting some new thoughts. 

Some reviewers called it original.  I didn't see anything original in it. Haven't we all seen this in real life?. Here's a key:

The part of the really good looking, charismatic, smart, full of excellent values and ideas with only one flaw - played by George Clooney...............Bill Clinton.

The part of the young, idealistic slightly naive campaign manager - played by Ryan Gosling.........George  Stephanopoulos.

The part of the smart and beautiful but conniving intern - played by Evan Rachel Wood..............Monica Lewinsky.

Come on - what's original about it?


*** 

Lobster Festival

Last night we walked to the Autumn Festival at St. Mary Magdalene's Catholic Church - as we do every year.  It's a big deal.  It's much like a county fair.

We looked at all the eating places.  Dave wanted a chili dog.  I wanted a lobster.  They cook up these big lobsters right in front of you.  At $12 each, they sell out fast.  Last year I missed out. 

My lobster came with a big wooden stick - the only thing available to get the meat out.  I began beating on it and, of course, the lobster juice sprayed everywhere, including all over my clothes, in my hair and all over my face.  It took me 20 minutes to wrestle all of the yummy meat out.  The toddler who shared our table was highly amused. 

Afterward we walked around among the hoards of other folks and rode the Ferris Wheel.  We watched the ladies frying up Snickers bars and Dave thought about having one - but didn't.

Then we walked the 8 or so blocks back home.  All the while, I was sticky from head to toe.

But it was well worth it.  I can't wait for next year.


***

Do I Want to Live Forever?

• Two days ago I met with some folks who's goal is to help us live to be 100.

• Yesterday I met with my Power Rangers, all about my age, all strong and vital and making a difference in the world, despite some of us coming through some serious illnesses, including cancer.

• Today I saw my Oldies.  All in all a good visit but they're in their 90s and are weak in body, mind and spirit.  Their quality of life is questionable at best.

A few years back I had a friend in her late 80s who refused aggressive treatment for lung cancer.  Her doctors were appalled.  Just a few weeks ago I told you about my book club friend, Barbara, who did the same thing.  She opted for Hospice instead. 

The thing is that, when we get old,  cancer drugs, while many times helping us, also harm us.

If I was diagnosed with cancer now I feel reasonably sure I'd choose aggressive treatment.  20 years from now I'm not so sure.  But doctors find it hard to take when people reject their treatment paradigm.  I hope, by the time I'm really old, the conversation will be more about how I want to live.

• Some experts think old women don't need treatment for some types of breast cancer.
• Some experts think old men don't need treatment for prostate cancer.

Yes, it might be interesting to live to 100 - but I'd like to choose how.


***

My Second Act

We have a relatively new group in our church called Act II.  It's for folks over 50.  There are service projects and spiritual times but occasionally we do something fancy.

On Saturday night a big bunch of us got dressed up and went to the Orlando Philharmonics "Night at the Oscars."  First we had a backstage party, then those who cared to, attended a short lecture by the conductor.  (We stayed back stage with our friends and ate cheesecake.) 

I can't imagine anybody not enjoying this concert.  On stage was a huge screen above the orchestra that showed film clips of movies that have won Academy Awards for music.  Movies like "Citizen Kane," "Ben-Hur," "An American in Paris," and "The Wizard of Oz." 

All in all, a fantastic night with our fantastic Orlando Philharmonic. 


***

Legoland - It's About Time!

Yesterday Legoland opened its fifth - and largest in the world - theme park in Central Florida.  The others are located in England, Germany, Denmark and, of course, California. 

Those Californians always get the good theme parks before we deprived Central Floridans do!

It seems like so very long ago that Universal opened its hugely successful Harry Potter Theme Park at its Islands of Adventure.   It's been at least a year!

And yes we do have all of the Disney World theme parks, Epcot and Sea World, Universal, and all the others - but we needed Legoland.  As one guest said "It's very family oriented."  (As opposed to all that wild and crazy adult stuff going on at the other parks?)

Well, we know that's not happening.  But, as another Legoland guest said, "Finally, a place where they can ride the rides and not worry about their height too much."  I don't even know what that means.  Have Disney visitors been worrying about their height all this time and I didn't know about it? 

For all of you who visited Legoland yesterday and are now looking for a brand new theme park, help is on the way.  Legoland will add a Water Park in May.

Legoland's one day admission price is $75.  I'm going to start saving my money and hope that I'm not too tall.


***

50/50

Last week Dave and I saw the movie, 50/50.  It's about a 27 year old guy who's diagnosed with cancer and given a 50/50 chance of survival.

The cancer guy is played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (that kid from Third Rock From the Sun - only all grown up - sort of.)  His buddy is Seth Rogen who's famous for his potty mouth.  The fame is richly deserved in this movie.

Despite that, I liked the movie.  It's sweet.  The characters don't know how to react or even how to talk to their friend who may be dying.  Even his therapist is inept. 

This is kind of how we are about death and other serious matters.  We don't know how to talk about them.  When my husband, Ken was in a dialysis unit every other day for several years and ONE THIRD of the patients died each year - this is how they dealt with it:  They didn't. 

We need to find better skills for talking with each other about serious and scary issues.  Because our chances of dying aren't 50/50.

They're 100 per cent.


***

Is Leaving Always Wrong?

On Tuesday I met with my book club ladies to discuss "Loving Frank," the story of the love affair between Mamah Cheney and Frank Lloyd Wright.

As you know from a previous blog posting, I was fussing and fuming all the while I read the book about these two and their selfishness.  For instance, they left two spouses and eight kids who loved them.

A couple of the book club ladies said that it's never OK to leave your kids.  On the other hand, some of them were willing to give Frank Lloyd Wright a pass because he was a genius who left a great legacy to the world.

Is leaving always wrong, especially for a mom? 

I struggled with that issue a bit when my kids were young.  I could have been much more successful in my work if I'd traveled more - and sometimes we desperately needed the money.  But I was away overnight very little.  In fact, I don't think my kids were very aware of my working.

This morning's newspaper brought the news that the mother of a much loved and respected politician here in Florida died.  Mel Martinez was a former mayor of Orange County and went on to become our first Cuban-American senator.  His brother, Ralph, is a well known attorney. 

In the early 1960, their mom, Gladys Martinez and her husband made the decision to send their two sons to the United States after Castro took over in Cuba.  They weren't sure if they'd ever see them again.  But they were reunited four years later when the parents were able to come to Florida.

I know two moms who've been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan - twice. 

Dave's mom lived most of her adult life in Malaysia as a missionary.  Dave turned out to be a magnificent man.

My mom was in a T.B. sanitarium while I grew up.  Then she died.

So I can't put a pox on all moms for leaving.  I guess we have to evaluate it case by case. 

Mamah Borthwick Cheney was an intellectual, a mother, a feminist, and a translator.  But she could have been all of that and stayed home with her kids.  It appears to me that she abandoned them, along with her husband, sister and others simply because she fell in love with Frank Lloyd Wright.

That, to me, is wrong.


***

I Still Love Albert

Maybe you've been reading about the new discovery by the world's best scientists, that will replace Einstein's theory of relativity.

In a nutshell it's this:  Neutrinos can travel faster than light. 

What are neutrinos?  They're particles that travel through almost everything - anytime they want.

What does "faster than light" mean?  It means, if you shoot a gun - the bullet leaves before you pull the trigger. 

Charles Krauthammer of the Washington Post Writers Group, says that, if it' true, everything we know about the universe is wrong including  Einstein's theory of relativity -  because it's the absolute prohibition on speed faster than light. 

If it's true we'll need a new understanding of past and future.

Are you confused?  Maybe this little joke that's going around scientific websites will help you.  You know how I love bartender jokes. 

We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here, says the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.

Think about it.


***

Death and Communication

It was sad to wake up hearing on the radio that Steve Jobs had died.  But apparently, I was one of the last to hear.  The word spread across the world like wild fire.  And it's fitting, because communication was much of what made up what Steve Jobs shared with us.  It was his passion.


As I was reading about him this morning, Dave walked into the room to share with me a letter he'd just run across while unpacking some boxes.  It's an original letter, written in 1863 by one of Dave's relatives, in beautiful script. A portion of this letter is attached below.

It's from Hanover and Deborah Briggs and written to their children.   It looks like Hanover is the one actually doing the writing.

In the letter he's telling his other children that their brother, Harvey, has been killed in the war.  Looks like they're receiving this word quite a while after Harvey died.  Here are some excerpts:

Dear Children,

it is under the most painfull sircumstances that I address you.  it is the Death of Harvey I got the word by the way of a letter from Dent Gist.  he says he was killed in the great battle of the 22 of May in storming the breastworks at vicksburg.  He says Harvy is the only man killed in our company one of the bravest men in the regiment. 

I hope his name will ever be Dear to you.  I feel to Mourn with deep regrett the loss of A precious Son, one that never gave me a saucy word in his life, one that never told me a rong story, one that never said any work was to hard for him to do.  he has carried out the same principles in fiting rebbels. 

...all the evils and cares of Earth and things present or things to come can ever wear the precious name of Harvey J. Briggs from my mind.

,,,I got a letter from Harvey writen Just one week before he was killed.  I think the last he ever done.  I will send you a coppy of it.

From your Affectionate Father and Mother,

Hanover and Deborah Briggs

The old ways of communicating, ones that took weeks and months, are gone.  But they did have a certain charm and grace.


***

Moneyball

We saw Moneyball this week.  It's had nothing but rave reviews.  Everybody loves it.  It's been described as sharp, tender, touching, soulful and funny.  I didn't think it was any of these things.


I didn't care for it.  The first two thirds was too slow moving, sad and frustrating for me.  Then it got better - but the ending was unsatisfying.

As you probably know, it's about the Oakland A's and how they broke all the rules of baseball by employing some unorthodox method of player analysis called saber metrics. 

It's based on a true story but lots of liberties were taken.

General manager Billy Beane is played by Brad Pitt.  He's great in this movie.  But Billy is a closed off, unemotional character.  In real life he has a second wife and twins.  It would have been good for me if that part hadn't been cut out of the movie.  Moneyball is solely lacking women.

To me, the best part of it was his daughter singing that song from Juno for him in the music store.

Jonah Hill who plays Peter Brand is excellent.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman who plays the A's manager is excellent.  I think he's one of the finest actors around.  He looks really old in this movie.

As I said, the ending was frustrating for me.  As long as they were makin' stuff up - they could have made a happier, more satisfying ending.

I'm just sayin'.


***

Birth Control and the Wesleys

A while back somebody questioned how I could be a Wesleyan and still be so adamant about birth control since the Wesleys had all those kids.

Yes, my wish for the world would be that women would become pregnant only when they want to - and then - only after they'd been encouraged to think about the consequences and responsibilities they will face for the rest of their lives.

Susanna and Samuel Wesley had 19 children.  One of them, John, was the impetus for the formation of the Methodist Church.  But, beyond that, the entire western world is a better place because of John Wesley.  His brother, Charles, primarily a hymn writer, had a big part as well.

This morning in church Dave pointed out that the hymn we were singing was written by Samuel Wesley.  I don't know if that was the dad or another one of the sons. Dave notices these things because his grandfather was a hymn writer.

Anyway, there is a concept among some folks that several of our greatest leaders throughout history would never have been born if their parents had used birth control.

Case in point:  Susanna and Samuel Wesley.  They had:

1.  Samuel
2.  Susanna
3.  Emilia
4.  Annesley
5.  Jedediah
6.  Susanna
7.  Mary
8.  Mehetabel
9.  Unnamed
10. John
11. Benjamin
12. & 13. Unnamed Twins
14. Anne
15. John
16. Unnamed
17. Martha
18. Charles
19. Kezziah

John and Charles were # 15 and #18 so the argument would be that if Suzanne and Samuel had stopped at, say, an even dozen, these great men would never have been born.

I'm not buyin' it.

First, only eight of these Wesley kids lived to age 50.  Six died as babies.  Most scholars believe that Suzanna was an exceptional human being.  Just think what she could have accomplished if she hadn't been pregnant for 20 years. 

Yes, I'm grateful for John and Charles Wesley.  But I'm still strong on birth control.

***

This Is Not About The West Memphis Three

Most of you know about The West Memphis Three, the young men who were tried and convicted almost 20 years ago for the brutal murders of three little boys - and then were recently released.

But this isn't about them.  If you want to know more about them look up "West Memphis Three."

This is about what happened to them in prison.  For the first six years they were routinely beaten by other prisoners and guards alike. They've had multiple broken bones.  And they were abused in all sorts of despicable ways that I won't go into.  (Read it on the Web.) 

They've had trouble adjusting to being free.  They haven't seen the sun in 18 years.  Haven't walked without chains, haven't used a fork, (they had to eat with their hands.)

But this isn't about The West Memphis Three.  It's about us. 

I'm ashamed to live in a country that routinely tortures human beings -  In this case, the same ones for decades. 

Just last night I saw another cop show where the cops were threatening a young man by describing, in graphic, sexual ways,  what would happen to him if they decided to send him to prison.

The West Memphis Three are more than likely innocent.  But this isn't about them.  It's about us.


***

The Electricity Bill Was What??

Yesterday  a friend and person I admire was the speaker in our Sunday school class.  (She's the one who recommended we see the movie "Contagion.")

She's also a big time environmentalist.  That's what she spoke about.  As you know, Dave and I are aspiring environmentalists as well.  But we could do a better job.  We all could. 

When we got back to Florida in early August after being away for three months, the condo was a mess.  Dark and hot.  I'd warned Dave that there might be a few dead bugs but I was still afraid it might be a deal breaker when he saw them.  The Florida Palmetto Bug - which the rest of the world calls a roach - is a sight to behold when several of them, about the size of  lobsters, are belly-up on your kitchen floor.

We got them cleaned up but, after seeing a couple more in the next few days, I broke down and used some chemical spray behind the fridge and dish washer.

That was wrong.  Bad for the environment.

Then we had several weeks of work done, including having the place painted.  Every day when I came home the doors were wide open and the outside hose was running.  I spoke to the guys a couple of times but not very firmly. 

Needless the say, the utility bills were through the roof. 

I told Dave I was so happy he married me so we could pay them together.  But that's not the point. The point is that we all need to be careful with our resources, i.e. the earth's resources.

Once they're gone - they're gone.


***

Another Reason Why I Read

A couple of postings back I printed a poem I'd written in 1973 about Playboy magazine.  The underlying reason for choosing that particular poem from the book was my amazement that NBC is putting a series about a Playboy Club on the air. 

I would have liked to have written a posting about all that Playboy was (and was not) in that era, but I don't have the words. 

Then this week's Newsweek arrived with an article by Nora Ephron (one of my favorite writers) saying it for me.  Buy the Newsweek if you want to read it - but I will share three short observations of Ephron's.  They will help you if you insist on watching this new show with the voice over saying ridiculous things like "changing the world, one Bunny at a time."

1.  Trust me, no one wanted to be a Bunny.

2.  A Bunny's life was essentially that of an underpaid waitress forced to wear a tight costume.

3.  Playboy did not change the world.

And, of course, Ephron has some funny things to say about Hugh Heffner himself.  She calls him a whack-a-mole that just keeps popping up.

Thanks, Nora Ephron, for saying so well what I couldn't say at all due to the steam coming out of my ears.


*** 

Contagion

A person I care for and respect told me on Wednesday that she and her husband liked the movie, "Contagion."  So Dave and I saw it yesterday. It's not a comedy.

It starts with a cough and ends with 26 million people dead.

It's not the typical disaster movie.  It's not a melodrama.  It's not touchy-feely.  There are no high tech disaster scenes.  There are no monsters.

It's scarier than that.  It's realistic.  It's played out in a rapid, almost documentary form.

As in real life, the disaster (in the form of a world-wide virus) brings out the best and worst in people.  It's uplifting to see folks give themselves to solve the problem.  We see this all the time in small and big disasters in real life.
 

I know people who run to the fire.

There are a number of big stars in this movie:

• Laurence Fishburn - This must be why he left CSI.
• Gweyneth Paltrow - She looks really bad but we'll give her a break since she's dying.
• Jude Law - Plays one of the only bad guys (and a blogger at that.)
• Kate Winslet - Don't get too attached to her character.
• Marian Cotillard - She's a good guy.
• Matt Damon - He's a good guy who plays "everyman," as he does so well.
• Elliot Gould - Some of you might not know him but some of us remember when he was married to Barbra Streisand and, way before that, when he was the original Trapper on MASH.

It's a good movie.  Go see it.


***

Who's To Blame?

...around 80% of antidepressant medications are prescribed by non-psychiatrists, including internists, GYNs, family practitioners, and non-MD's such as physicians assistants and nurse practitioners.  

Psychiatrist, Joseph Mason, quoted in the New Yorker


We have another super high profile murder trial here in Central Florida.  Robert Ward is accused of killing his wife, Diane, in the bedroom of their palatial Isleworth home, just west of Orlando. 

Yes, that's Tiger Woods neighborhood.

The case has all the elements of high drama.  Fantastic wealth, bankruptcy, adultery and bizarre behavior by both Robert and Diane Ward.  Some of Robert's is caught on tape from his prison cell.

I have no clue as to what really happened.  He says he was trying to save her from suicide when the gun went off. The prosecution says he shot her. 

Unfortunately, in his call to 9-1-1 he said, "I just shot my wife."

The sad thing is that Diane Ward had high levels of antidepressants and alcohol in her system when she died.  Antidepressants can make life livable.  But sometimes they can do the opposite when they get out of whack. 

In any case, it's another sad story of sad people.


***

An Old Book

This week, while Dave was cleaning a closet, he found an old poetry book I'd written 35 or so years ago and had completely forgotten about.

After he read it, I read it.  Again, but for the first time in many, many years.  I will have to say, with all humility, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I was reminded of what we women - well, some of us - went through in the 60s and 70s and how much life has changed.  And the part some of us had in that change.

Here are a couple. 

The Thingmaker  (written in 1972)

I saw a layout
in playboy magazine
featuring  a racing car
shaped like a woman

dear playboy
I am not a machine
I am a human being

Is your relationship
with your machine
unfulfilling
undemanding
unsatisfactory
unloving
incomplete
unfinished

next time
try a person.


The following was written in 1973

Why Women's Lib,
    Confuses me.

Am I the cause of all
    my problems,
Or is he?


***

What Ever Happened to My Oldies?

People ask me from time to time for an update on the Oldies.  This is a couple I've seen at least once a week for the past 25 years or so.  That is, up until things started to go downhill for them a while back.

He's 90.  She's 91.  As I've told you before, he was one of the most brilliant, exciting, fun men I've ever known.  He was a neighbor and acquaintance of Andy Rooney at one time.  He and Andy had that sense of humor/curmudgeon thing in common.

We visited them this morning in their fancy assisted living digs.  They were both in bed.  But, sweetly, in the same bed.  A caregiver was with them.  She's there several hours a day.

My Oldies are on the kind of high end scale of elderly adults needing assistance.  They have the means and family support to help them through this end stage.

But it's not pretty.  She was in pain and when she's in pain he's beside himself. 

We used to spend hours at a time together.  Now fifteen minutes is about all they need and about all I can take.


***

We Served Lunch Again

Today Dave and I served lunch  to the homeless - as we do from time to time.  It's always an awesome, humbling honor. 

It's especially moving to see little kids and medically challenged folks.  It's painful to see folks, especially young folks, who are obviously embarrassed to be in this position.

Two people got to me.  A young, tall, very good looking African American man wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, very clean and neat - seemed so very ill at ease.

A young, blond woman, extremely thin, wearing Daisy Duke shorts, was carrying a baby on each hip.

I always wonder about the stories of every person we serve but I especially wonder about these two.

Later, when Dave and I were driving away from the downtown core,  we saw the blond woman walking down the street, still carrying a baby on each hip.  But she had no purse or bag.  These babies were in diapers.  I wonder what she does when they need changing.


***

Why It's Good to Read Books

A couple of years ago Dave was reading "Loving Frank" by Nancy Horan.  It's about Mamah Cheney's love affair with Frank Lloyd Wright.  Almost every day, while Dave was reading the book, he fussed and fumed about the selfishness of these two.  Not only with their affair (they were both married with small children) but in the way they treated everybody around them.

I decided I would save myself all this grief by not reading the book.

But it's the October pick for my book club so I started it yesterday.  This morning I began fussing and fuming to Dave about the behavior of these two.

But Frank Lloyd Wright was a brilliant artist who's work changed the face of architecture.  Millions of people are still being positively affected by the beauty of his work.  His life was complicated. 

As was Mamah Borthwick Cheney's life.  As are all of our lives.  We're all complicated and  broken people.

I'm only on page 68 but in the last line of this chapter Mamah's close friend says to her, "What about duty?  What about honor?  You wouldn't take down two families,  (including eight children.) You couldn't live with yourself."

But we know that she does - and she does!

I'm going to keep reading.  Because I believe that when I'm forced to question the choices and learn about the lives of other people, I'm also questioning and learning about myself.


***

Is This The Next Step?

My husband, Ken, used to get upset with me when I tried to get him to use his walker and especially his wheelchair.  They were humiliating for him and, as he explained to me, they weren't temporary.  He was never going to get better. 

They were the next step.

When I met with my Power Rangers this week a couple of us were confessing and/or teasing each other about our forgetfulness.  For instance, I messed up my pill boxes this week.  And I neglected to send an important e-mail.

Is this normal?  Or is it the next step?

This morning we had a lengthy conversation with a man we see from time to time.  Not exactly a friend but somebody I care about.  He's been very ill so I'm especially concerned about him.  I would tell you his name, but....at the moment...

I have no idea what it is!


***

I've Been Vindicated

Last week my little 2000 Camry went kaflooy in the middle of the highway.  Very sad.  Had it towed to my mechanic who, after looking it over for five days, gave me a repair estimate totaling a couple thousand dollars.  I said "OK, fix it."

When Dave heard what I'd done he was skeptical.  I told my son and he was skeptical.

But the car has at least one hundred thousand miles left on it.  It's old but it looks good and has and has character  - like me.  '

This morning I had my old friend and handyman, Mario, come over to look at my busted 27 year old refrigerator.  He's from Cuba and very wise.  He fixed it right up.  And he agreed that fixing the car and fixing the fridge is the right thing to do.

He told me that his 94 year old mother is still using her 35 year old bonnet hair dryer. 

She's my kind of woman!

***

Oh, The Wonder of It All

Oh yes, indeed we know
That people will find a way to go,
No matter what the man said
And love is fine for all we know
For all we know our love will grow
- that's what the man said
So won't you listen to what the man said.

Listen to What the Man Said, lyrics by Paul McCartney


Once, when Dave and I had known each other only a short time, he came to visit me on his birthday.  Wanting to impress him, I took him to dinner at a new restaurant on Park Avenue called Luma.  That was about five years ago.  We usually walk past that restaurant at least once or twice a week.  Always on Saturdays on our way to Rollins College and beyond.

But we've never been back to Luma.  It's kinda swanky - and not really "us."  I was just trying to impress Dave that first time.  I now know what he really likes.

Today for lunch we had mashed potatoes topped with Campbell's Chunky Sirloin Burger Soup.

But guess who was in Luma a few evenings ago?  Paul McCartney!  He and his fiance were in town to visit her son who goes to Rollins. 

Oh, the wonder of it all, baby.


***

Why?

I'm getting ready to lead a small group in my church.  We'll be discussing why God operates the way God does. 

• Some folks believe that if they're good and keep their noses clean, nothing bad will happen to them.
• Some folks believe everything happens for a reason.
• Some folks believe hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters are God's way of trying to get our attention.
• Some folks believe that if they really please God, then God will make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.
• Some folks believe that the reason God doesn't answer their prayers is because they're not good enough (neither the prayers nor the folks praying.)

Our class begins on Wednesday and lasts for five weeks.  I'll let you know what we come up with.


***

Don't Mess With the Ewok

I was never much of a Star Wars fan.  But I have several super smart friends who are fans and my children were fans for years and my younger grandsons are big fans, mostly due to their father instilling the Luke Skywalker love in them from the time they were babies.

I just heard a man speak a few days ago who said the first 20 years of his life he wanted to be Luke Skywalker.  That's not uncommon.  The Star Wars phenomenon knows no bounds.

Now I see that George Lucus is in big trouble!  It seems he's made a couple of "minor" changes in the nine-disc Blu-ray "Star Wars: The complete Saga" - coming out this month.


He's made Darth Vader all touchy-feely be having him yell "Nooo!" when the Emperor is trying to kill Luke in "Return of the Jedi."


And - get this - due to computer-generated special effects, he's made the Ewoks blink.


George, is nothing sacred to you?  Here's what your fans are up in arms about:  You don't mess with perfection.


 ***

The Bad Thing About Hospice

The bad thing about hospice care is that most folks don't utilize it soon enough.  The main reason is we don't want to deal with the reality of an impending death.  My husband, Ken, was with hospice home care for about five days prior to death.  I wish he, and I, and our family had been able to experience this kind of care much sooner than we did.

Hospice, typically, takes over  only after aggressive care has been abandoned and the patient has admitted that his or her illness will result in death.  The protocol then goes from trying to get well to dying pain free and with dignity.

I've never met a patient or family member who wasn't happy with the decision to admit the truth and let hospice minister to them.

Last week I read in the paper that Barbara, a member of my book club  had moved to hospice.  I don't really know Barbara but she's impressed me, in book club, as a very wise woman.

She was diagnosed in June with advanced bone cancer.  As a retired nurse, she'd volunteered in several hospices in Florida so she's aware of what they are and what they are not.

The paper quoted Barbara quoted as saying "To me it's very important that I'm not lying there moaning, screaming and groaning in pain...They (hospice) give you enough medicine to be free of pain...It's a very dignified and very family-oriented place to go to."

So, instead of suffering through aggressive chemo, Barbara is comfortable and making a video of her life for her family.

Barbara is my hero.  Along with hospice.


***

Egg Plant

Egg plants are beautiful.  I love them.  Most people don't.  The reason I know this is because almost all egg plant recipes are complicated.  They usually start with peeling the egg plant, baking it, then mashing it and adding about 17 other ingredients.

The lovely, purple egg plant which is a relative of the tomato and the potato has a rich complex flavor of it's own.  It doesn't need all that other stuff.

It's low in calories and full of vitamins and minerals.  The only slightly negative (and strange) thing about it is that it contains a little nicotine.  But you'd have to eat about 20 pounds of egg plant to equal smoking one cigarette.  So there's no chance of your teenager developing an egg plant habit. 

On Saturday I bought a big egg plant at the farmer's market.  Since Dave doesn't care for egg plant it's taken me a few days to eat it.

Here's how I like it best.  I cut it up, peel and all, and fry/steam it in a skillet with some Pam and a little water.  Then add salt and pepper.

For lunch today I had mashed potatoes and egg plant.
  
Delish. 


***

Dead or Alive - Which Is Better?

I read about this in the paper yesterday.  Here is a quote:

People who are alive have more mental capacity than people who are dead.  They are more aware of their environment, they have more personality and more memory.

OK, do you feel smarter having this information?  Or maybe you already knew this since you're, you know, not dead!

But....and this is interesting....the article goes on to say that being dead is better than being in a vegetative state.  The dead got higher scores.  Those in a vegetative state are "more dead than dead."

These views are due, mostly, to our belief in an afterlife.

A vegetative state is a holding pattern.  Death is a new beginning.

***

We Finally Saw "The Help"

Remember last week when we wanted to see this movie but it was sold out for all the showings on a Saturday afternoon - so we saw "Cowboy and Aliens" instead?

Yesterday we had better luck.  We went to see the 3:45 PM showing.  It was sold out so we bought tickets for the 4:15 PM which was showing on two screens at the Regal.  They, eventually, were sold out as well.

I'm a little puzzled about why this movie is doing so well.  But, of course, I'm happy about it. 

"The Help" takes place in Jackson, Mississippi in 1963.  Skeeter, an aspiring writer, ends up writing an expose about how maids were being treated by their beautiful young junior leaguing racist housewife employers.  Skeeter couldn't have done it without the bravery of the maids. 

For some of us who lived through these times, the book and the movie have been cathartic.  Some critics have called it "light weight" because it deals with dopey women and their maids.  And then there's Sceeter, who gets very brave and serious. 

I think, throughout history, folks living every day lives have been the ones to make great changes.  Sometimes when they've perceived just a little bit of inner power from outer circumstances (like Skeeter) and some who've done the brave thing because they've reached bottom (like the maids.)

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.

On February 3, 2010 I wrote a blog posting called "The Help" after reading the novel.  In it I shared some of my own adventures as a young, white housewife from the North, living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in the same time period in which "The Help" takes place. And then the decade of the 70s which was just as turbulent. 

I was an ordinary person who, somehow, was able to do some small but extraordinary things.  But extraordinary things were happening everywhere in the country. 

The following events were significant for me:

• June 12, 1963 - Medgar Evers was shot and killed.
• November 22, 1963 - John F. Kennedy was shot and killed.
• April 4, 1968 - Martin Luther King was shot and killed.
• June 5, 1968 - Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed.

Go see the movie.  It's not about Jackson, Mississippi.  It's about us.  

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Our Sofa

Dave and I are both bean counting, practical to a fault, pragmatic folks.  One of the things we decided early on was to get rid of my Florida sofa and his Minnesota sofa and buy a new one. 

After weeks of searching, we settled on a sofa from Crate & Barrel.  Over several months time we visited it in the store, sent away for fabric swashes, and dragged some of our kids to the mall to see it.

Then, day before yesterday, we did, uncharacteristically, a wild and crazy thing.  We went to Ikea.  My palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it.  And, as you know, I don't sweat.

First thing we did was eat.  Ikea has great, cheap food.  I had two hot dogs, chips and coke for $2.  Dave had Swedish meatballs with loganberry sauce for not much more.

Then we started the search.  You really need that Ikea Road Map to get around.  Long story short, We fell in love with a sofa! 

And to make a much longer story short (the one where you get lost trying to check out and arrange for delivery while carrying your own sofa parts on your back.) we bought it.

It arrived yesterday, but, to our amazement, these big guys carried in some big boxes, put them down on the living room floor - and left!

Five hours later we had it assembled.  We love it even more because we made it ourselves.

Now we can ask ourselves what my husband, Ken, used to say:

"What'll we do with all that money we saved?"

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Political Insights

Some political experts where surprised that Michele Bachmann won the Iowa Straw Pol and knocked Tim Pawlenty totally out of the race.  I'm sure that two or three years ago, when they were both in Minnesota, Tim never dreamed that Michele would turn out to be his worst nightmare.

I was surprised at the results of the straw pol as well.  But for this reason:

After attending the Minnesota State Fair last year, I'm aware of what Upper Midwesterners like to eat for fun.  The Iowa caucus takes place on the Iowa State University grounds.  All of the candidates have their own tents and serve free fun food. 

Tim served Famous Dave's Bar-B-Q.  It's wildly popular in Minnesota.  I love it.  Ribs, chicken, beans, corn on the cob, yum, yum.  This is a universal treat.

Michele served corn dogs and meat sundaes.  The sundaes are made with mashed potatoes, chunks of beef and then covered in brown gravy.  With a tomato on top. 

I thought the Bar-B-Q would win hands down.

But, like with so many other political predictions, I was wrong.

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Cowboys, Indians and Aliens

This was the opening weekend for the movie, "The Help."  Knowing it would be jammed packed, we opted to see "Cowboys and Aliens."  It turned out to be a good call because "The Help" was sold out for the evening. 

"Cowboys and Aliens" is just big, silly fun.  First, it has the best title since "Snakes on a Plane."  And, like "Snakes," the title says it all.

To me, this is an old fashioned cowboys and Indians movie with the only difference being that the cowboys and Indians (and by that I mean our Native American friends) have to band together to fight the aliens. 

I had a little trouble with so called good guys committing several acts of brutality.

But you can't beat Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford for craggy, tough faces.

Can't believe that it's a Brian Grazer/Ron Howard movie.  To me it's another one of those movies that could have been put together by a group of 13 year old boys.

All in all I liked it.  But did I learn anything?

 No. I already knew that you don't mess with Harrison Ford.

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