Are You Listening?

The guest preacher at church yesterday was Dr. Phil Amerson, the new president of Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary at Northwestern University. He was brilliant. My understanding is that he's one of the great minds in theology.

Here's the most brilliant thing he said: "We're ALL always auditioning." He then explained that the word "audition" means to "listen," i.e., it's from the word "audio."

So this is what I heard him say even though these are not his words.

Shut up and listen!!!

This is excellent advice for the new C.E.O. of a company or the new minister of a church - or any of us who find ourselves in stressful or new situations where we'd like to come or strong and show our stuff.

Yesterday evening Dave got some very bad news about a close friend. I wanted to "fix it." But instead I listened.

Today we went to visit that friend's wife - and we listened.

I'm feeling excited and emotional because I'm leaving tomorrow for Atlanta to see people I love and then on to Florida to see more people I love.

But I'm feeling very sad and emotional because I'm leaving Dave for a while.

It's confusing. But I'm trying to listen to myself and to him.


***

I'm In Trouble

There's a little story (actually called a parable) in the New Testament book of Matthew about a rich guy who leaves on a trip but before he goes he entrusts his money to three servants, expecting them to invest it well.

The bottom line is that the third servant is so scared that he buries the money in the ground. Needless to say he's in big trouble when the rich guy gets home.

Last May, shortly before I left home, my minister ended his sermon by inviting anybody who wanted to - to take away an envelope containing $25.00. Yes, there were hundreds of envelopes there for the taking. I don't remember his instructions but I do remember that they were pretty loose. Just do something creative.

He didn't mention the above parable.

He did suggest that if anybody wanted to share what they did with the $25.00 they could post it on the church website. Several people did. These stories were, of course, inspiring. And creative.

My envelope containing the $25.00 is still - buried in my purse!

All summer long I've thought that the perfect situation would arise. Once it did but I didn't have the money with me.

When I occasionally obsessed about it Dave suggested I put the money in the offering plate at the church we attend here in Minnesota - and just mark it for some special ministry. But I didn't want to.

Now I'm getting ready to go home with the $25.00 still on me!

I haven't even invested it. I could console myself by saying that the first part of the summer I would have lost some of it but now the market's doing well - so, no excuses.

Woe is me! What am I gonna do?


***

We Americans Love Revenge Movies

Sunday evening we saw "Inglorious Basterds." (Yes, that's the way it's spelled. Why, I don't know.) It was the #1 movie this weekend.

First, let me say that the movie is beautifully filmed. Brad Pitt is funny - but he's not in the movie much.

It's not surprising that it's a blockbuster because, first and foremost, it's a REVENGE movie. They always do well. Whether it's a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western or a Charles Bronson vehicle, revenge movies have always been successful.

They bring out the worst in us.


But this movie is unique. It turns Jews into Nazis. And makes a comedy of it. It's appallingly insensitive.

This "Dirty Dozen" team of cute Jews are monsters.

Fortunately, in real life, what Jews and the rest of us have tried to do about the Holocaust is to continue to remind people of the atrocities and to say "Never Again."

I recently read something about director Quintin Tarantiono in Newsweek. He was quoted as saying, If I had a gun and a 12-year-old kid broke into my house, I would kill him.

I found that disturbing and sad. Just as I found hearing people (young men) laughing and cheering in the movie disturbing and sad.

And scary.


***

Hamburger Jones

My time here in Minnesota is winding down. It's been a good, cool summer. We've eaten out almost every day but mostly for breakfast or lunch and mostly light meals.

But yesterday we pigged out!

We'd seen this new restaurant on Saturday but we'd already had our meal at Noodles so we had to wait. By the way, at Noodles we had noodles. Then walked to Whole Foods and shared a Jamba Juice. Yum, yum.

So yesterday, after church, we tried Hamburger Jones. The temp was in the 70s. We ate outside in the sunshine.

Hamburger Jones has a fun, entertaining menu. The two hamburgers we most enjoyed reading about were:

The White Trash Burger - with chicken fried bacon, fried cheese curds and plenty of Velveeta.

The Hangover - with bacon, cheddar, hot sauce and fried egg.

Dave saw a man about his age having The Hangover and went over to chat. I thought he was going to admonish him but Dave was actually thinking about having one himself.

But we both settled for a more traditional burger with fries and baked beans. That was enough trans fat for us. But man, was it good!


***

Proud to be a Woman

There was an election in Afghanistan yesterday. We don't yet know the outcome. The Taliban continues to be oppressive and voting is very, very dangerous.

Especially for women.

But they voted anyway. Following are some quotes from Afghan voters in this morning's Star Tribune.

(Photo by Saurabh Das)

In Kabul:
"I know the security situation of my country is not good, but I have made my decision to come and cast my vote anyway."

In Mazar-I-Sharif:
"I was so excited last night. All I could think about was today," said a 20 year old first time voter who cast her ballot for Abdullah.

In Kandahar:
"I was afraid to come and cast my vote. But my father encouraged me, 'Be brave, you are an Afghan woman, you should have faith. It is the hand of God.'"

As I read this I was so proud to be a woman who votes - and understands the importance of voting.


***

The Apostle Paul and Mozart

One of the books I've read (or re-read) this summer is the book of Acts. It introduces the Apostle Paul. He's all over the New Testament. He was quite a powerful and colorful guy. He and I have had our ups and downs but, basically, he has my respect. He got the job done.

He mentioned several times in his letters that he had an affliction of some sort. He called it a "thorn in his side." Over the years theologians and scholars of all kinds have tried to come up with what it was.

Several years ago I was (inappropriately) laughing out loud when I listened to a lady minister explain that she knew what it was because she had the same affliction.

Allergies.

Then she listed all of her "proofs."

Now we have the latest theory on what killed Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart at the age of 35. Over the years we've heard that he was poisoned, that he ate bad food, that he was killed by a jealous rival and so on.

A report from the Annals of Internal Medicine now suggests us that he died from strep throat. They think this, basically, because it was going around at the time.

As a person who suffered mightily from strep as a child, as did my siblings, I tend to think they finally got it right.

But my guess is that I'm projecting. Just like the lady minister with the allergies.


***

I Am Not a Sports Fan

Sometimes when we're discussing current events and I acknowledge that, yes, I have heard of Tiger Woods, Dave will say "See, you do know something about sports."

And I always respond with: "I didn't say I didn't know - I said I didn't care. "

But it's hard to ignore sports when the three inch tall headlines in this morning's paper shout:

FAVRE FEVRE

OK, it seems that there's this football player named Brett Favre who's been playing hard to get with this football team called "The Vikings." But now he's agreed to come to what we in Minnesota like to call "The Purple Side."

Vikings fans are reacting like he's a rock star.

I understand he played football for the Green Bay Packers until he retired. Green Bay is in the neighboring state of Wisconsin so the Packers are, apparently, rivals of the Vikings.

Brett Favre is old (39) gray and injured so I don't know what the fuss is all about. But the Vikings website that usually gets about a hundred thousand hits a day (???) got a million yesterday.

Since I'm not a sports fan, this is all a big mystery to me.


***

Blogging from Kenya

I'm in Minnesota for the summer enjoying myself. In the meantime, my church, in Winter Park, Florida, has sent out over a dozen mission teams this year.

There are several out right now but the one that's just been blowing me away on a daily basis is the young adult team in Kenya. Just think about it - busy young adults taking the time and money (yes, they have to pay their own way) to fly to Kenya to work like crazy for two weeks! It's a hard trip, one that I could no longer make.

And, for young adults who're not noted for attending church on a regular basis, two to three hour Kenya church services.

The trip was limited to 17 people. It filled up fast.

In their daily blog they're using phrases like "Emotional overload," "Beautiful people," and "Billions of people lack clean drinking water."

They love what they're experiencing - even the heartache. But these young adults, and others like them, are the ones who'll solve many of these world problems. I'm certain of it.

The great part for me is that I get to read their daily blog. I feel like I'm there with them - and in some ways I am.


***

Born to Run

Does this man look suspicious to you? Right on the heels of the Professor Henry Lewis Gates (self) house break-in, we have this story:

Music icon Bob Dylan, age 68, was ambling around a New Jersey seaside neighborhood last week when an alert homeowner called police about a "scruffy looking" stranger lurking about.

When the 24 year old policewoman arrived to question the man, he immediately confessed that his name was Bob Dylan.

"Who?"

He then told her he was in town for a concert that evening with Willie Nelson and John Melloncamp.

"Who?"

She drove him to his hotel where his manger vouched for him. So, crisis over.

But there was some later speculation about how maybe Bob Dylan was looking for Bruce Springsteen's old house where he (Dylan) wrote Born to Run. God only knows what he might have done - or written - if he'd found it.


***

Where'd I Put My Keys?

Dave and I are constantly trying to come up with stuff that's filed away in our brains - somewhere. So, as I was thumbing through my More Magazine, that I bought at the used book store for a dollar, I zeroed in on this article called New Rules for Saving Your Memory.

Because, let's face it, I need help. And if you're over 50 you do too.

My theory has been that, at our age, we have so much stored up there that it just takes longer and longer to file through it all in order to come up with name of the lead singer of the Pretenders. Or Gerald Ford's Secretary of State.

But this article says that, when we're young, our brains do a good job of figuring out what's relevant or not and then subtracting the irrelevant. So they've recently learned that most midlife memory fading isn't about retrieval. It turns out that our mature brains have a harder time blocking out useless information.

This is certainly true about me. I am the queen of trivia. Dave says that if he ever goes on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? he wants me to be his call-in friend because I know a little something about almost everything. But coming up with fast answers can be a problem.

On a more serious note, the articles says that the very best thing you can do for your brain is exercise, i. e., regular aerobic exercise.

It's good for what ails us - body and mind.

***

One Less Link to Camalot

There was a time in my life when I was totally fascinated with the Kennedys. I was most fascinated with how Joe and Rose raised their children.

No, I'm not blind to the Kennedy craziness. From the bootlegging to Chappaquiddick - from "I think I'll get our daughter a lobotomy while Rose is out of town" to the somewhat risky behavior of racing down the ski slopes drunk and backwards and slamming into trees.

And, yes, I lived in West Palm Beach during the Kennedy nephew rape trial. (It was during that time that the "Ted Kennedy dress shirt and nothing else" style was popularized.")

So I get it. The Kennedys are flawed.

But aren't we all? We're all complicated and we all come from murky gene pools.

I feel very sad that another of the nine children of Joe and Rose Kennedy is gone. Eunice Kennedy Shriver is dead at age 88. She was the champion of special needs kids. She founded the Special Olympics. Her son, Robert, said "She never ran for public office but she changed the world." I agree.

Her son in law, the bodybuilding, multi-millionaire Republican movie star, Arnold Schwarzenegger, said: She changed my life...by putting me on the path to public service, starting with drafting me as a coach for the Special Olympics."

Joe and Rose Kennedy taught their children that much is expected of those to whom much has been given. We've all benefited from this legacy.

Joesph Kennedy, Jr. died a war hero in WW II.
John Kennedy's short time as president shaped all of our lives in positives ways.
Bobby Kennedy, as Attorney General, fought the bad guys to the end.
Jean Kennedy Smith served as ambassador to Ireland for many years.
Ted Kennedy has been a senator for almost 50 years.

Sadly, we will be reminded if his great accomplishments all too soon.

Besides all of the other endeavors, the children of Rose and Joe had a huge number of offspring. Most of them are in public service.

So we'll continue to be blessed in many ways as the legacy lives on. Because much is expected of those to whom much is given.


***

Julie and Julia

We saw this movie last night. We both loved it. Here's what I loved:

The way Julia and Paul Child interacted. They had a very healthy love life and they respected each other. They were a delight to watch. I hope Dave and I treat each other the same way. It's a very different style of relationship from the young Julie and her husband.

The way Meryl Streep is such a great actress that she can "act" really tall ever though she's only 5' 6". Julia Child was a 6' 2" force of nature.

The way Julia's book, "Mastering The Art of French Cooking" came about - after a decade of struggling. American editors didn't think the "servantless" American public was ready for intricate French cuisine.

The way Julie Powell's life changed through blogging. SO HAS MINE! I looked up her blog today. In the last part of the movie she learns that Julia Child (then 90 years old) didn't care for her (Julie's) blog. In today's blog posting she modifies that a bit. But my take on it is that Julia Child was 90 years old! Give her a break.

A couple of things I didn't like:

The way Julie treated her husband. Even after he left and came back. She still never said, "How was your day?"

The French cooking itself. The movie did not make me want to prepare or eat the recipes. They're all complicated and the first five ingredients are butter, butter, butter, butter and butter.

Butter is 100% fat. Just so's you know!


***

Marriage and Aging

Did you know that most young couples getting married don't have an in depth discussion about money and that younger people tend to marry financial opposites?

I did.

And they don't understand each others financial behavior.

I didn't.

Tightwads attract spendthrifts and visa versa.I was the tightwad. He was the spendthrift. I once wrote that "if we did only what I wanted to do we wouldn't have had any fun. If we did only what he wanted to do we'd been in jail."

This time around Dave and I are so alike that it's frightening. But beyond that we've talked through just about everything we can think of - including finances. (I like to think of both of us as frugal but generous.)

And we've tried to plan for just about any eventuality. My Oldies are having some big problems and it's made us even more aware of how important it is make intelligent decisions that affect us and our families while we still have our marbles.

Because if/or when we loose them it's hard for all concerned. My Oldies' (middle aged) kids are stepping up and dealing with serious issues but it's very, very difficult.

I hope my kids would be as patient and understanding with me when I start losing my fantastic physical and intellectual abilities.


***

Profiling

A young Chinese-American journalist, in writing about the Professor Henry Louis Gates incident, commented in today's paper on a similar situation that recently happened to him.

Thomas Lee arrived a little before noon at a large company to do an interview with the president. He told the receptionist at the front desk that he was looking for the president's executive assistant.

"Oh, are you delivering food?" she asked.

OK, her response was totally inappropriate. But my guess is that it wasn't so much racist as it was because he was (and looked) young. I bet that if he'd been older, wearing a suit and carrying a brief case rather than an open shirt and backpack, she wouldn't have said something so dumb.

A few years ago one of my sons (who's always looked young) was asked, as an expert consultant, to fly to Boca Raton to meet with some heavy hitters whom he'd never met.

He didn't know they'd be meeting him at the plane so he arrived in jeans and t-shirt. There they were waving a card with his name on it. But when he walked over to shake hands they refused to believe it was him.

Some day this Chinese-American journalist will be happy that he looks younger than his years - and maybe even laugh when somebody thinks he's delivering take-out.

You can trust me on that!


***

When We Are Married

We saw the British period piece "When We Are Married" at the great Guthrie Theater last night. The thrust stage setting was lush, the costumes intricate and the actors were exceptional.

The plot is this: Three proper couples are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversaries only to discover that they were never legally married. Thus ensues two hours of arguing over things that aren't important - like what people will think. In the end they learn that it's all a mistake and they go back to the way they were when the play started. Bored, bickering and clueless about themselves and each other.

And, by the way, these couples who've been married for 25 years were made to look very, very old.

If I were redoing this play I'd make it contemporary and serious. Yes, people who've been married for a while do get complacent and sometimes forget how much they mean to each other. But the option of a do-over - or not, would be interesting.

Of course some couples do this symbolically by having a wedding renewal service, or doing something catastrophic like having an affair, thereby requiring them to decide whether or not they want to remain married - and why.

New beginnings, deep discoveries and commitments are always exciting. Even if they're with the same spouse.


***

Beer Deplomacy

Most of us enjoyed the culmination, in President Obama's back yard, of the Professor Gates, Police Sgt. James Crowley crisis.

We liked the jokes, the choice of beers, the wearing or not wearing of jackets, etc.

Everybody made mistakes in the break in incident . Nobody had to apologize. They were given a chance to come together where they could - with dignity. Like they discovered that they both liked fancy beers - but different brands.

Even the president made a mistake by using the word "stupidly." But people had fun with it. Several versions of t-shirts were quickly manufactured. My favorite had the words "I'm with stupidly" across the front.

I think the picture above is great! It depicts a microcosm of what's possible all over the world. People coming together where they can find common ground.

I was reminded of this again this morning when I saw President Clinton bringing home the two journalists, Euna Lee and Laura Ling.

To do this he had to meet with North Korea's reclusive (and some say crazy) leader, Kim Jong. What could they possibly have in common? Well, they both love Elvis. (I wondered to Dave if maybe they sat around in their Elvis outfits.)

Also, Kim Jong loves rock stars. Bill Clinton is a rock star.

But the important point is that vast differences were set aside, they came together where they could and the women were released.

As a part of this process it was good to see Clinton and Al Gore having a hug. They've not always been on the same page. But I'm sure Gore was grateful to have these journalists, who work for Current -TV, which he co-founded, home safe and sound.

All of this success - the professor and the cop and an international incident - with no bloodshed.

What a blessing.


***

Wedding Ideas

By now you've all seen the video of the St. Paul couple who danced their way down the aisle. Most everybody loves it.

Except the local clergy persons who've been interviewed in the papers and on TV. They sound like real spoil sports. Don't they know that brides just wanna have fun?

At the risk of having you call me an old foggy - or worse - I agree with the clergy. The reception is the place to have fun. The wedding, if it's done in a religious setting, is a religious experience. It's solemn. It's serious. It's a lifetime commitment before God.

Yikes!

Here are some personal observations after several decades as a minister's spouse:

If a church has a long center aisle, brides want to get married there. They're not concerned about denomination or beliefs. "Just look at me and my girls as we come down that aisle."

My husband was asked to perform weddings on horseback, ankle deep in the ocean, in a plane and in various other places.

It's not all bad. But we need to remember that the wedding service is a sober, religious experience.

Well, unfortunately, not always sober!


***

Writing Goals and Sports Bars

I was asked recently, "What are your current writing goals?"

The wonderful thing is that at this stage of my life I don't have any. I like doing this. I have goals for this blog (as I begin to age and fall apart I want to share that with you) but that's about it.

If I were younger a fantasy goal would be to write for "The New Yorker." Specifically a few "Shouts & Murmurs." I love it but most people don't even begin to understand it. I met a retired psychology professor a couple of weeks ago and we had instant rapport. He too loves "The New Yorker," including "Shouts & Murmurs." But that doesn't happen often.

This week's column, by Bruce McCall, is a tongue in cheek review of restaurants in Iran. It doesn't say that's what it is. You have to figure it out for yourself. Following is a review of a sports bar:

Bar of the Sport Martyrs
Satan nakedly disports here in this unnecessarily festive wormhole of godless international big-screen soccer worship, where recently a male patron was rumored to have publicly attempted the pornographic Heimlich maneuver on an unresisting female patron, who then projectile-vomited her half-digested khorest-e fesenjan all over a portrait of President Ahmadinejad. No access for armored cars.

Isn't this one of the most hysterical and insightful sports bar reviews you've ever read?


***