Songs of the South

We have a big controversy going on right now in Florida. Our state song has been rejected for being racist. That's right, "Swanee River" (you may know it by it's real title which some people think fits us "Old Folks at Home") is being replaced.

We're down to 3 contenders for the new song. The guy in the lead is a New Zealander.

But parodies abound. They all deal with our faults.

And currents songs have been suggested like "Big Yellow Taxi" (They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.)



And, of course, there are those who want to retain "Old Folks at Home." They think only the pinko liberals are offended by the words. After all, we don't have any more slaves in Florida.


My favorite local columnist, Mike Thomas, wrote several sets of lyrics for alternative consideration this morning. Following are his titles:

To the tune of "I Shot the Sheriff" - I Bought the Condo

To the tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" - My Glock is Packed, I'm Ready to Go

To the tune of "She Loves Me" - I'm In Foreclosure, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

But my favorite was by another columnist, Scott Maxwell, written to the tune of "America the Beautiful"



Oh, hurricane-filled, cloudy skies,

O'er sinkhole-covered lots;

Where mice run free,

And we clear-cut trees;

Where elections we have botched.



Oh Florida, Oh Florida

You mean the world to me,

Where beaches have sea walls,

And lots of strip malls,

Ooph, I just hit a man-a-tee.



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