Mary Oliver's Journey

Mary Oliver

The poet Mary Oliver died yesterday at age 83.  She was wildly popular in some circles and vilified in a couple of others.  But my guess is that most people never heard of her because she was - you know - a poet!

After my husband, Ken, died I was a mess.  My life could have gone in an entirely different direction.  Then I started communicating with this man in Minnesota.   Early on he sent me a book - Ten Poems to Change Your Life.  The first poem was by Mary Oliver.  It changed my life.

On the surface the poem seems a bit selfish, but it's not.  It's about (as Mary would say) living your one wild precious life.

THE JOURNEY by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had t do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice -

though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
 at the very foundations,
thought their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

Butt little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
and the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own
 that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,

determined to do
 the only thing you could do - 

determined to save
the only life that you could save. 


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Life Changing Events

First, Judge Belvin Perry, former newscaster Carol Nelson Pond and Photo/journalist, Tee Tayler were welcomed as lifetime members of the University Club in downtown Orlando.  This is something that would have been unheard of 40 years ago when the only folks who were welcomed in the University Club were rich old white guys.  

So congratulations to these three people who have, in significant ways, changed the landscape for good in Central Florida.  And congratulations to the University Club for extending this lavish invitation. 

The other thing that happened yesterday is that legendary Congressman, Alcee Hastings, died.  As a young attorney, Alcee arrived in Fort Lauderdale Florida around the same time we did.  It was a time when Blacks could not stay in hotels, eat in restaurants, go to white schools, and on and on.  He and my husband Ken, became good friends and worked together on projects, not only for African Americans but for women's rights.  And in later years Alcee went on to champion the LGBT community.

Following is a story I wrote in June of 2019 when word came that Alcee Hastings had pancreatic cancer. 

Sad to see in the paper this morning that my old friend, Alcee Hastings, has pancreatic cancer.  U.S. Representative Alcee Hastings is the longest-serving member in Florida's congressional delegation.  He was the first African American to be elected to Congress in Florida since Reconstruction and has been relected 14 times.

My husband, Ken, and I knew Alcee Hastings when we lived and worked in South Florida.  Alcee, the son of house servants, was born in my current home town, Altamonte Springs.  But we knew him in South Florida, at the height of racial tensions. He was a great friend and mentor to us in civil rights issues in the 1970s.

One of the things he taught us was how to keep our cool under pressure.  A couple of times we witnessed the "soup" incident.  The first time we were at a banquet.  Alcee was seated next to me.  At one point the waitress spilled soup all over him.  His response was charming.  I was concerned.  He explained that getting soup spilled on him (by a white waitperson) was a common occurrence.  I had to witness it one more time before I believed him.

Ken Crossman, in 1983, sharing his pulpit
with Alcee Hastings,
 

Alcee Hastings' political life back then was highly controversial, full of ups and downs.  In the 1980s he was impeached in the House, tried in the Senate and ousted from office.  This, despite being acquitted of bribery charges.  Ten years later, as a respected member of the House, he voted "no" on the impeachment of President Clinton.

And now, since 1992, he has served (and easily won) his seat in the House. He remains a savvy and popular congressman but, of course, he's still controversial and still poking fun at his Republican opponents.

I wish Congressman Hastings well in this new battle with cancer.  And I sincerely hope nobody has spilled soup on him in recent times.


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The Groveland Four Have Been Pardoned!

Seventy years ago, in the summer of 1949,  in Groveland Florida, a white teenager falsely accused four young black men of kidnapping and raping her.

Two of the men were shot, the other two were wrongfully convicted and lived horrendous lives.  Other African Americans were traumatized including having their houses burned down.

It's a horrible, shameful chapter in Florida history.   If you want to know more, several books have been written including the Pulitzer Prize winning Devil on the Grove by Gilbert King.

The other side of this story is that people have been working for decades to get justice for these young men and their families.

Today it happened.  They were officially pardoned by the State of Florida.  Thank you Governor Ron DeSantis.

I'm overflowing with a thankful heart for all of those who wouldn't give up, including many of my friends and family.  And I am especially proud of those of you who hung in because of your spiritual commitment.  It has not been easy.  I, myself, have been confronted  on this issue ("It's water over the bridge, Give it up.") by seemingly well meaning people in my church.

I'm just finishing up my Richard Rohr devotional, Breathing Under Water.  Here is a quote I read just this morning.

Until people's basic egocentricity is radically exposed, revealed for what it is, and foundational redirected, much religion becomes occupied with rearranging deck chairs on a titanic cruise ship, cruising with isolated passengers, each maintaining his or her personal program for happiness, while the whole ship is sinking. 

This quote could apply to my church and my nation.  Thank you again to those of you who continue to fight the good fight - because it's the right thing to do.


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The Gift of Years

It's New Year's Day.  I'm cleaning out a desk drawer.  Pretty typical New Year's Day activity.

In the drawer I have run across six quotes from one of my very favorite books, The Gift of Years by Joan Chittister.  I love her writing and this is, by far, my favorite Chittister book.  Today, reading these quotes helped me re-evaluate my life a bit.  And, that too, is a typical New Year's Day activity.

 1.  Most of us inch our way through life, sure on one hand that it will never end, certain on the other that it will surely be ending soon.

I love numbers and charts and such so I'm well aware of the implications of the 80th birthday that I just celebrated.  It was grand in every way thanks to my kids who knocked themselves out to make it special, my friends, and, of course, Dave, who makes everything special.  So I no longer think it will never end.  It will end.  Every day is precious.

 2.  We live in a world that judges its achievements by speed and busyness.

True, but my life is neither speedy nor busy.

3.  What am I when I am not what I used to DO?

Good question.  In my work I needed to be on my A game at all times.  But most of all I loved being a mom.  I poured myself into it and if I had it to do over again I would pour even more of myself into it.  But that job, and the others, are over.  (This doesn't mean that my middle aged kids don't make me happy and/or sad and/or terrified on a daily basis.)  I just know I have no overt control over their lives.)  I like no longer auditioning for rolls.  The answer to question three is: I am me.

 4.  "...Spiritual dimensions commonly increase.

This is certainly true for me.  "It is Well With My Soul."  Most of the time.

 5.  Age comes only to the truly blessed. 

You know the old saying...."Considering the alternative..."  but I experience genuine blessings every day, along with some burdens that come with age.

 6.  The gift of these years is not merely being alive...it is the gift of becoming more fully alive than ever.

Yes, in the year, 2019, when I am 80 years old, I feel even more alive and attuned to others.  I have time to spend where it's truly needed.  That's because I'm no longer speedy and busy.


***

Breathing Under Water

I'm reading this devotional by Richard Rohr.  It's based on AA's twelve steps.  I've used several devotionals over the years based on the steps.  I like hard hitting devotionals.  If the devotional has a picture of puppy dogs or flowers on the front I'm probably not going to like it.  I like my devotionals down and dirty.

Rohr's book is based on a poem by Carol Bieleck.  I love the poem.  It's most likely about addiction.  I'm not dealing with addiction but I believe the poem is about me.

I'm a planner who likes to live a nice orderly life. I like to anticipate the future and get ready for it.  But then, bang, what was "over there" comes "right here." And  I find myself in a place I never though I'd be.

This year I need to learn how to be eighty.  And probably learn, once more, to breathe underwater.

I hope you'll read the poem.  It might be about you too.

Breathing Under Water by Carol Bieleck.

I built my house by the sea.

Not on the sands, mind you;

not on the shifting sand.

And I built it of rock.

A strong house

by a strong sea.

And we got well acquainted, the sea and I.

Good neighbors.

Not that we spoke much.

We met in silences.

Respectful, keeping our distance,

but looking our thoughts across the fence of sand. 

Always,  the fence of sand our barrier, 

always, the sand between. 

And then one day,

-and I still don't know how it happened-

the sea came. 

Without warning.

Without welcome, even

Not sudden and swift, but a shifting across the sand

   like wine,

less like the flow of water than the flow of blood.

Slow, but coming.

Slow, but flowing like an open wound. 

And I thought of flight and I thought of growing

   and I thought of death.

And while I thought the sea crept higher, till it

   reached my door.

And I knew then there was neither fight, nor death

   nor drowning.

That when the sea comes calling you stop being

    neighbors

Well acquainted, friendly-at-a-distance, neighbors

And you give your house for a coral castle,

And you learn to breathe underwater.


***

A Scary Christmas Story

Last night we had dinner with family members.  My 30 year old grandson, whom I'm wild about, told us an interesting Christmas story.  Earlier in the day he dressed up as Santa Claus to take gifts to some of his clients.  This included the whole shebang; big red suit, hat and white beard.

Before visiting the clients, Santa went to the supermarket to purchase some items, then took them to his truck.  While loading them in the back he laid his wallet and phone on the truck bed.

Oh, oh, you know where this is going, don't you?

After driving a while he needed to make a phone call - but no phone.  And no wallet.  Where were they?  Santa headed back to the market, hoping and praying he'd left them where he checked out and the cashier had them.

But, of course, she didn't.

So he got back in the truck and tried to replace his steps.  Finally (and this is amazing) he saw the phone on the street, looking like it had been run over several times.  Santa stopped the truck in heavy traffic, jumped out and grabbed the phone.

Then he saw the wallet!

He grabbed it off the busy street, looked it over, but "oh, no,!" the contents (credit cards, driver's license and all of the essential things we carry in our wallets) where GONE!  It looked just like somebody had picked up the wallet, emptied it, and threw it away again.

So here Santa is standing in the middle of a busy street with his empty wallet.

But then, amazingly, almost magically, he could see a trail of cards blowing down the street.  And so, on foot, weaving in and out of traffic, he managed to find almost everything.

People are probably still talking about the crazy Santa on Highway 436.

It was a modern Christmas miracle that it all came together.  And here's an additional one.  His phone had a great protective case on it so it was working fine when he was telling us this story last night.

Merry Christmas.


***

It's The Real Thing!

Did you know that, since 1930 Coca Cola has had 48 tag lines?  "It's the Real Thing" is from 1969. The current tag line is "Taste the Feeling."

When I was young I drank Coca Cola and loved it.  Later I drank Diet Coke.  Later still I drank Diet/Caffeine Free Coke.  Now I drink water or wine.  (These were Jesus' two favorite drinks.)

But we still keep Cokes in the fridge.  And it's a good thing because you never know when you'll need one.  We all know that Coke is good for cleaning your car battery and your hair and clogged drains. (But I'm not sure about washing my hair with something that's supposed to remove hair.  I've read that some veterinary offices pour Coke in their drains on Friday night and by Monday morning all the animal hair is gone!)  Coke helps get rid of lice.  And it's used at crime scenes to remove blood stains.

As you know, I love The People's Pharmacy.  Over the years they've reported that patients have had success using Coke for varied medical purposes - like getting rid of kidney stones and cleaning feeding tubes.

And now, just in time for the holidays, when we tend to wolf down big meals, readers are saying that Coke can save you when you have a big chunk of meat stuck in your throat.   Don't try it if you're choking and can't breathe.  Call 911 or have somebody "Heimlich" you.  But if the meat's down there in your esophagus and won't budge, take a drink of ice cold Coke.  The People's Pharmacy readers swear by it.  And even if it doesn't work, it's refreshing.


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