This morning I watched, again, Anderson Cooper's 60 Minutes interview with Tony. The interview took place both before and after Tony's sold out farewell concert at Carnegie Hall, with Lady Gaga, celebrating his 95th birthday.
Tony has Alzheimer's disease and is barely able to speak. At the time of the interview he still recognized his wife and children but almost no-one else. But when the pianist began, he was fully able to burst into song. And his voice was still the Tony Bennett voice we remember from 50 years ago. Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia are not only tragic but confounding in how our minds respond to memory triggers.
Anderson Cooper spoke with Lady Gaga, who has been his duet partner for years, about the farewell concert. She said that Tony had not spoken her name in a very long time, but when she appeared on stage he said "Lady Gaga!" And she was so moved it was difficult to carry on.
My husband, Ken, was on dialysis for eight years prior to his death. During that time he developed dementia. While I tried to take him out to lunch or to shop (which was his favorite thing to do) most days, he became very upset with me because I would not take him from our home in Florida to his high school reunion in Ohio. Finally my son John said he would do it.
It was a nightmare. Dealing with a person who has an astonishingly high I. Q. along with dementia can only (sarcastically) be described as "Good Times!" Good time in the airport where he wondered off, and in the hotel room where they shared a bed so Ken couldn't escape out into the hall.
But here is the totally exasperating part. The first gathering for the reunion was held in the lobby of the hotel where they were staying. John had difficulty getting Ken dressed in suit and tie and then bundling him into the elevator.
But when they stepped out into the reunion, the light turned on! Ken was charming. He was handsome. As the former president of the graduating class of 1955 he gave a little speech. Women were saying to John, "Why isn't your mother here? Is she still living?" So John had to fend off these women who were turned on by his charming, articulate dad.
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If you'd like to see the Anderson Cooper, 60 Minutes interview, it's on Youtube.
