My First Flip Flops

David Palmer's $18,000
flip flops

This week I bought my very first flip flops.  I decided years ago I'd never wear them.  Much like I decided I'd never have a microwave.

Flip flops have been around for 4,000 or so years.  The Egyptians liked them and some of theirs were even bejeweled.  They became popular in this country after World War II.  Who would have thought that we'd copy the Japanese so soon after the war?

By the 1960s they were urber popular.  Remember those lady soccer players who got some bad press for visiting the president in their flip flops?

My $9.95 bejeweled
flip flops

The most expensive flip flops were designed by David Palmer and you may have a pair for $18,000.

I was motivated to buy mine because I was tired of ruining my sandals walking back and forth from the pool.  But, to my surprise, I love them. With cushioned soles, they're comfy.  And they're bejeweled.  And (the best part) I bought them for $9.95 at Walgreens.




***

Beware of Facebook

Yesterday I visited my sons' office to pick up a package - something I rarely do.  I don't believe I belong at my children's workplaces.

Anyway, some time during the 20 minutes or so I was there our picture was taken.  Today I saw the photo on my Facebook page.  But my guess is that it was there within five minutes of my leaving the building.

The Facebook "likes" were in the hundreds.  Nice.  And there were several comments.  Mostly nice and sweet.  In fact that's what they called me.  "Nice" and "sweet."  One person said "Did she bring you milk and cookies like my mom does?"

I'm sure this made John laugh.  We don't have that kind of relationship.  I'm not a milk and cookies mom.

John's reply on FB was "She walked around like she owned the place."  You, my readers, know very well I didn't do that either.  I behaved myself.

John also e-mailed his brother, Scott, who is currently in Paris, and told him I tried to sit in his chair but John didn't allow it.

You know better!  That would be trespassing.


***

Maya

Maya Angelou died yesterday.  Her writings affected the lives of millions of people, including me.

She lived a profound, inspiring life.  President Obama's daughter is named after her.

She sometimes wrote in short, pithy sentences.  She was criticized for writing for Hallmark but, in doing so, she reached masses of people who, otherwise, would not have been affected by her words.

Here are  a few of my favorites.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. 

Just reading this line helped me to understand my own agony.  We all need to tell our stories to someone who will listen.  But I've found that not many people want to hear it.  Only my brother, Paul, truly knows my childhood story - because he lived it as well.

You can't forgive without loving and I don't mean sentimentality.  I don't mean mush.  I mean having enough courage to stand and say "I forgive.  I'm finished with it. " 

I've worked on forgiveness my whole life.  But after my husband, Ken, died I went on a journey, both literally and internally, to find and eradicate whatever was keeping me from forgiving any and everybody whom I though I needed to forgive.  I'm not altogether there but what a magnificent journey it's been.  Of course, there will always be people who get on my nerves.

If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?

This is a tough one.  But I think the people around me would tell you that, in the last decade, I've done pretty well about being good to myself.

While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.

The realization of the truth of the above quote has enriched my life beyond measure.


***

Howie Mandel is a Hero

Howie Mandel has:

• ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
• OCD - Obsessive/compulsive Disorder
• Mysophobia - Pathological fear of germs

Howie and John

But, as you well know, he's one of the most successful performers on the planet.  I'm sure it's despite of, and also because of, these disorders.  There is, generally, an uneasy relationship between mental illness and comedy.  

I haven't seen much that Howie's done since he starred in St. Elsewhere in the 1980s.  But he's done it all.  And in the doing, he's also educated himself and us about his difficulties.

And our difficulties.  Because we're all broken in some way or another.

So I was excited to learn that Howie Mandel would be the headliner for the International Council of Shopping Centers Foundation Gala Dinner last week in Las Vegas.  As part of ICSC, my son, John, has raised huge amounts of money for scholarships across the country.   The proceeds from Howie's performance went to the scholarship program.

I was also happy to see John standing a respectful distance from Howie in this photo.  We all know Howie doesn't like to be touched.  So I hope everybody at the ICSC behaved themselves.


***

The Mall at Millenia

In the 90s, when the "high end" mall concept  was explained to me by my son, Scott, I didn't get it.  We already had malls.  He said more people from around the world would visit Orlando if we had more high end shopping.  I still didn't get it.

In 2002 the Mall at Millenia opened.  It featured world class shopping at 150 plus high end shops and department stores, not to mention restaurants and bars.  The Mall at Millenia also offered amenities such as a full service concierge and a foreign currency exchange.

I thought there was no way in the world this mall would succeed.  Of course, I was wrong.

Because we knew the temperature was going to top out at close to 100 today, Dave and I wanted to have some fun indoors.  So we headed for one of our favorite spots, The Mall at Millenia.  It's a total treat for the eyes, nose, skin and taste buds.  We had a yummy but sensible lunch at California Kitchen.  We walked the entire perimeter of the mall and marveled at the beautiful merchandise and the people buying it.

But what I like most about this mall is that you don't have to buy anything to have a great time.  One afternoon a few years ago, I took my friend, a former model who was in a fairly deep depression, to The Mall of Millenia.  For a couple of hours she forgot about her troubles and just enjoyed the beauty around her.  I did have to talk her down when she wanted to buy a $75 tube of lipstick  but we got through the crisis and moved on to Brookstone where we enjoyed the massage chairs (for free.)

My very favorite place in the mall is Neiman Marcus.  As you enter the store and travel up the escalator you are inundated with thousands of white, glittering, hand crafted butterflies hanging from the ceiling.

Dave and I had the butterfly experience today.  Wow!

I'm happy we have the mall.  I'm happy when I'm in the mall.  I'm happy that visitors for all over the world come to enjoy themselves shopping in these exquisite stores.  I have actually purchased an item from time to time.  But anybody can come to the mall.  You don't have to shop to enjoy yourself.


***

"Frozen" is the new Kardasians

Here I Stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on

    Lyrics from Let it Go by Idina Menzel from the movie Frozen



Frozen is close to being the most watched movie and the highest grossing movie of all time.  I'm sure that four of my granddaughters know all of the lyrics to Let it Go.  I know one of them does because she sang it to me on Sunday.

As you know, I don't care for animation so it's not likely I'll see Frozen.  But when I've mentioned this to friends even my age (who have grandchildren) they look at me like I'm crazy.

It's not like I don't know much about the movie.  I do.  Just like I know lots about the Kardasians even though I've never seen one on the TV.

But now I have a soul mate in the concept of sometimes not caring for the current world's most popular thing.

One of my favorite writers, Joel Stein, in his weekly Time Magazine column, talks about how his 5 year old son, Laszlo, seriously does not like Frozen.  Joel says a few weeks ago, when Laszlo was picked up from preschool crying and holding his ears, the problem turned out to be that the girls in his class were all singing Let it Go.

Later on when Joel asked Laszlo why he hated Frozen so much (despite not having seen it) he said, It's got like, dresses in it.  I don't like dresses.  And there's, like, princesses, and I don't like princesses.  I like car-and-trucks things. 

I'm with you Laszlo.

In the meantime, Kim and Kanye are getting married!  Oh the horror.


***

A Taste of Thai

Dave loves Thai food.  Today we had a yummy Thai dish.  And it was so easy that it could have been in my favorite cook book, "The I Hate to Cook Book."  But it wasn't, because this Thai Sauce Mix hadn't been invented when this book came out.

So here's how you put it together.  Allow yourself about 15 minutes.  But you do have to start a few days or weeks ahead by buying a rotisserie chicken.  Eat what you want of it, then, while somebody else does the dishes, pick all of the rest of the chicken from the bone and store in the freezer.

The morning you want to make the Thai dish, take it out of the freezer.

Pour a can of lite coconut milk into a sauce pan.  Add the chicken.  Bring to a slow boil.  Add the contents of the Thai Peanut Mix.  Stir.  Add veggies if you like.  I added frozen peas.  Serve over rice or noodles.  Top with roasted, salted peanuts.

Enjoy.


***

Agenda Kissing

Dave and Cess Kissing

I'm not a big, indiscriminate, kisser.  Or  hugger.  Part of the reason is just that I'm a private person.  In my big public speaking years and my big "Minister's Wife" years, lots of strangers tried to hug and kiss me.  I didn't like it.  I'm not crazy about "agenda" kissing.  For instance, political kissing.

I like kissing my friends and I LOVE kissing my family.  And I LOVE, LOVE kissing Dave.

Mike Bianchi, the excellent and most times hysterically funny, sports writer for the Orlando Sentinel, gave us a good example of "agenda" kissing this morning.   He was writing about Michael Sam, the first openly gay player, kissing his boyfriend in public upon hearing the news that he'd been drafted into the NFL.

This could have been completely loving or it could have been an "agenda" kiss because they're going to star in a new reality show on Oprah's network.

Bianchi goes on to share his top 5 greatest kisses of all time:

5.  Madonna kissing Britney Spears
4.  Sammy Davis, Jr. kissing Archie Bunker
3.  Michael Corleone kissing brother Fredo (the kiss of death)
2.   The iconic photo of a sailor kissing a nurse in New York's Times Square
1.  Hershey kiss.

All but one of these seem like "agenda" kisses to me.


***

Sleep Meds and Addiction

Twelve days ago I asked my doctor for a 30 day, 5 mg (lowest dose) prescription for Zolpidem (generic for Ambien.)   My last prescription was over a year ago.  My insurance company absolutely refused to pay.  So, today, after almost two weeks of battling,  I threw up my hands and said, "Fine, I'll pay for it myself."

As you know, I don't sleep.  Never have.  That is to say, sleep is something that I have to purposefully make happen.  Lack of sleep does a number on us physically and mentally.

At this stage, most of my friends are having the same issue.  But I've had insomnia forever.  I usually take half a Benedryl about three hours before bedtime.  This along with a light supper and plenty of quiet time usually, eventually, gets me to sleep.  But I'm always up an hour or so during the night and I get out of bed before seven every morning.

How about napping?  I never have.  I can't.  So please don't tell me to "just take a nap."

Occasionally my three hour bedtime routine is interrupted.  Like, for instance, I want to go out and enjoy myself like a normal person.  If I stay out until, say, midnight, there's no chance of going to sleep that night.  Period.

Until, about three years ago, I discovered Ambien.  I know it makes some folks crazy but it's great for me.  I take the lowest dose, 5 mg.  It still takes at least an hour to get to sleep but when I do I sleep for six straight hours.

 I've never done that prior to Ambien.

How often do I take it?  I try to limit myself to once a month.  I know that sounds rigid but I don't want to become addicted and wake up in a wedding dress,  stirring cake batter while riding our new SunRail system - and wonder how I got there.

 I know addiction is a big problem, especially here in Florida ( the Pill Mill State) but Ive never had delusions, hallucinations, euphoria or amnesia due to sleep meds.  Sounds like it could be fun but I'm pretty much a stickler about taking medicine only when absolutely necessary.

So I'v been embarrassed by the insurance company's attitude.

The end of the story is that I went to Walgreen's this afternoon to pick up my prescription and was careful to take my big credit card.  The bill was $9.32.  The insurance company had paid.

I don't get it!  But I now have enough Ambien (30 pills)
for another couple of years.   So I'm happy.


***

Toxic Charity

• Give once and you elicit appreciation.
• Give twice and you create appreciation.
• Give three times and you create expectation.
• Give four times and it becomes entitlement. 
• Give five times and you establish dependency.

                 - Toxic Charity

Seems simple.  You give me stuff.  I take it.  Everybody's happy.  But it's not that simple.  The book Toxic Charity by Robert Lupton is an eye opener for some but it's old news to me.

It's not so much about what and how much we give.  It's Why.

And this not only holds true for charitable giving, the same concept works for families.  Why am I giving my grown children luxuries they can't afford on their own?  Is it because I want them to depend on me?

Why do I give lavish gifts to the poor at Christmas time?   Is it because I want to feel all warm and fuzzy and powerful?

I think, in many cases, the problems for our "lazy" poor and our "lazy" kids are the same.  We want them to be grateful - when they need and want to be empowered.


***

Old Fashioned Mother's Day

When I was a young minister's wife I dreaded Mother's Day.  In our church, as in most churches, we honored the oldest mothers, the youngest mothers and the mothers with the most kids.  Because, apparently, this was something to be proud of.

Every Mother's Day we started with the process of elimination.  And the same two ladies would stand up and argue about who was the oldest.  Everybody knew they were born in the same year - two months apart.

Then the same process was started for the youngest mom.  Occasionally, when the winner was 17, or younger, I would quietly go berserk.

Of course, since it was my busy season of popping out babies from time to time, I would sometimes win the prize for the MOST children.  Beyond humiliating!

Times have changed.  We no longer measure motherhood in this inane way.  There are good moms and terrible moms and everything in between.  I was sometimes all of these on the same day.

This morning, in my church, my minister, Jayne, did a different take on Proverbs "Ideal Wife."  It was great.  But prior to that she asked every female in the congregation to stand up.  She mentioned girls and women, married and single, moms or not.  Then she let us know how much God values us.  Just like we are.

It's not a contest.


***

Graduation Day

We took our weekly walk through Rollins College this morning.  The campus was busy because it's graduation day for the Hamilton Holt School which is an evening and weekend degree program.

A group of Holt faculty traditionally chooses an "Outstanding Senior"  to speak at graduation.  The choice is based on grade point average, service to the community and so on.  This morning's speaker was Elin Nordegren.

Don't know her?  She's Tiger Woods ex-wife.  Ms. Nordegren has been attending night classes at Rollins since 2005.  This morning she received a degree in psychology.

I love this.  Ms. Nordegren is astoundingly beautiful, astoundingly wealthy and has the ability to be a jet setting celebrity anytime she wants.  But she chooses to shun the limelight, mentor foster children, mother her children and go to school.

Happy Graduation Day today, Elin Nosrdegren.  And happy Mother's Day tomorrow.


***

Something to Look Forward To

Betty White, Our Favorite 90 Year Old

What do these things have in common?

• Wine
• Getting fat
• Light exercise
• High blood pressure  

They're all things that will keep us healthy after age 90.  It looks like fun if we can make it that far.  Last Sunday on "60 Minutes" we learned about folks that were studied from the time they were in their 60s until they reached their 90s.  

What is keeping these 90 plus folks healthy and happy isn't vitamins or heavy dieting or doing triathlons.  

It's having a drink or two a day.  No more.  And it doesn't matter what it is.  A martini works just as well as red wine. 

It's putting on some weight.  The 90s decade means throwing away the scales and eating three squares a day. 

It's exercising - but not too much.  Just have fun.  Sex is good. 

Reaching this decade means trying to keep the blood pressure up rather than down. 

It appears that low blood pressure causes little strokes at this age.  Who knew?

Of course, the big concern is dementia.  With this they don't really have a clue.  It's caused by all sorts of things and more than half of the folks in their 90s have it.  

But the other news is pretty good. 

***

The Coop

John Rivers is legendary in these parts.  When he opens a restaurant, success is all but assured.  His Texas inspired 4 Rivers Smokehouses continually have lines around the block.

In addition to that he gives back to the community in all sorts of ways.  He's an inspiration to all who know him.

So when he opened a new restaurant with a new concept a couple of weeks ago I was pumped.  It's called The Coop and features real southern dishes.  Naturally, with the name The Coop, chicken is big.  Fried.  Yum.

We drive past the restaurant often and, since opening,  the line has been out the door and around the building.  So we strategically waited until this past Friday and timed ourselves to get there at 1:45 PM.  Still a line but it wasn't out the door.

I, of course, had the three piece fried chicken lunch,  With 18 sides or "Fixins" to choose from it was difficult but I settled on smashed potatoes and southern collards.  I'm so sorry to say I didn't care for it.  My chicken leg was good and the collards were good but, since I didn't order the gravy, the rest was dry and heavy.  I had to come home and drink a tall glass of Alka Selzer.


All of the 18 Fixins are fat laden.  Most of the meats are fried.  I'm sure the majority of folks love this.  In fact, I know they do because I could see them enjoying themselves.  And I'm aware that I'm not the target customer.  But I would like to respectfully suggest to Mr. Rivers that southern cooks almost always offer fresh vegetables - some of them not even loaded with pork bits.  I did see a dish offered with a slice of watermelon garnish.  That's a good start.

Yes, I'm going back to The Coop.  I want to try the oyster po-boy and the catfish and grits.  Maybe I'll hide some green onions and sliced tomatoes in my pocket.


***

Haddy is Gone

The other half on my Oldies died a few weeks ago in Colorado.  She was 94.  Old enough to be my mom.  But she wasn't.  She was my friend.

Harry and Haddy Welch were an amazing couple.  He was like a beautiful kite whirling up to the clouds.  She was at the other end of the string.  Gently grounding him.  She was a quiet dutiful and somewhat obedient wife.

People used to say that if Harry died first Haddy would soon follow because she couldn't function without him.  I never believed that.  I knew it was the other way around.

But I was totally unprepared for what happened.  When Harry died in 2011 she blossomed.  How can a person who is 92 and has serious dementia blossom?  I don't know but she did.

She became an artist.  Her work was bright and cheerful.  Some of the prized pieces were auctioned off.

I don't usually like it when someone dies and we hear mostly about the last few quiet years of their lives - but this time it was different.

Haddy made a name for herself.


***