My boyfriend scheduled his colonoscopy for after I arrived so that we could share yet another romantic experience.
A while back I scheduled my cystoscopy so that he could accompany me. Don't know what that is? It's when a urologist (at least you hope it's a urologist) inserts a camera into your bladder for a little look- see. In color.
We all know what a colonoscopy is because Katie Curic made her colon famous when she had one on television a few years ago. If she'd really been a good sport she'd have let us experience her prep day with her. That's where the fun starts.
My boyfriend's colonoscopy was on Monday. On Saturday we did something truly wild and crazy. We had a coupon for the White Castle. Ten burgers (sliders) for $4.99. We ate all of them. So I was thinking he might not even need a prep day.
But on Sunday he started fasting. Only clear liquids. Then, late in the afternoon he began taking the big jug o' juice. It comes with several names. His was called "GoLYTELY." A misnomer.
So he missed half of the Tony Awards. Not the first half or the last half. He saw every other 10 minutes for the four hours it was on.
Monday morning we arrived at the hospital bright and early. By 10:00 A.M. we were having pancakes at Perkins.
How uncomfortable are colonoscopies and cystoscopies? Not at all. You just take a little nap and it's over.
If you're past 60 and you've never had a colonoscopy you need one. If you're scared do this. Google: "Dave Barry Colonoscopy" It's one of the funniest things he's every written - and that's saying something. And when you finish reading you'll want to schedule your colonoscopy. Go with somebody you love. If you can't do that, go with somebody who wants to eat after - because you'll be hungry.
***
