My friend, Bob, told the following story this morning. Maybe you heard it.
A husband and wife are having lots of arguments. He's upset all the time. She's cool. He asks her how she stays so calm. She answers:
"When I feel upset with you I clean the toilet."
"How does that help?"
"I clean it with your toothbrush."
We've heard other stories like that, like waiters spitting in our soup, or - have you seen the episode of "Two and a Half Men" where, before Charlie puts his brother Alan's burger on the grill, he smashes it under his armpit?
I guess that kind of thing can be momentarily placating but just think about how totally miserable we have to be to get to that place.
"Two and a Half Men" is a fairly raw sit-com but the writers do a good job of showing us how Charlie and Alan are two broken, sad, wounded human beings.
Just like the rest of us are at times.
But maybe doing childish, destructive things that diminish us isn't the answer.
I used to know somebody who literally had (like Richard Nixon) an enemies list. I decided then that I never wanted an enemies list. I didn't want even one name on a list.
That doesn't mean I haven't ever wanted to use a certain person's toothbrush to scrub the toilet.
But there are better ways to deal with people who hurt me. I'm happy that my friend, Bob, reminded me today of what some of them are.
***
A husband and wife are having lots of arguments. He's upset all the time. She's cool. He asks her how she stays so calm. She answers:
"When I feel upset with you I clean the toilet."
"How does that help?"
"I clean it with your toothbrush."
We've heard other stories like that, like waiters spitting in our soup, or - have you seen the episode of "Two and a Half Men" where, before Charlie puts his brother Alan's burger on the grill, he smashes it under his armpit?
I guess that kind of thing can be momentarily placating but just think about how totally miserable we have to be to get to that place.
"Two and a Half Men" is a fairly raw sit-com but the writers do a good job of showing us how Charlie and Alan are two broken, sad, wounded human beings.
Just like the rest of us are at times.
But maybe doing childish, destructive things that diminish us isn't the answer.
I used to know somebody who literally had (like Richard Nixon) an enemies list. I decided then that I never wanted an enemies list. I didn't want even one name on a list.
That doesn't mean I haven't ever wanted to use a certain person's toothbrush to scrub the toilet.
But there are better ways to deal with people who hurt me. I'm happy that my friend, Bob, reminded me today of what some of them are.
***
