People like to assert their power in some strange ways.
Examples:
The guy who screams at his 16 year old kid for having a fender bender then takes care of it.
Or the guy who does the same thing when his wife has an accident.
The other day I inadvertenly pulled into McDonald's drive thru from the wrong side. Thinking there were no cars in line, I pulled right up to the window. The woman at the window started yelling at me, letting me know what I'd done. But then she said, "I'll let you order THIS TIME but don't ever do it again."
Realizing she was on a little power trip I said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't dream of letting you take my order. I'll drive around."
That took the wind out of her sails.
***
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Movies
I like movies. Fortunately so does my Boyfriend. We don't see as many as I used to because we have other things to do and there aren't many that peek my interest these days.
What type movies do you like?
I like dialogue driven dramas. Intense relationships. High integrity.
Some of my favorite movies lately have been Michael Clayton, Juno, The Savages and The Debaters. I liked No Country for Old Men and American Gangster but had big problems with the endings.
Yesterday I was reading the Smithsonian Magazine while waiting in the doctor's office. There was an interview with Bruce Willis because his T-shirt from the Die Hard movies is now in the Smithsonian. When asked about his take on action movies he said,
You can draw a straight line from westerns to military to action movies. They are morality stories - good over evil.
I can appreciate that but I find action movies to be a bit boring. Unless it's like the Bourne trilogy that's so over the top that it's funny.
Also, even though I enjoy psychological thrillers, I don't want to see brutality. "Pulp Fiction" was an amazing movie in many ways but the brutality turned me off. "The Kite Runner" was one of my favorite books of the last few years but I haven't seen the movie because I've heard that it's brutal in parts.
One of the most popular movie genres is "Revenge." I think revenge movies probably help some people live out some fantasies.
My favorite genre is "Redemption." The Savages, Michael Clayton, Juno and The Great Debaters are all redemption movies.
***
What type movies do you like?
I like dialogue driven dramas. Intense relationships. High integrity.
Some of my favorite movies lately have been Michael Clayton, Juno, The Savages and The Debaters. I liked No Country for Old Men and American Gangster but had big problems with the endings.
Yesterday I was reading the Smithsonian Magazine while waiting in the doctor's office. There was an interview with Bruce Willis because his T-shirt from the Die Hard movies is now in the Smithsonian. When asked about his take on action movies he said,
You can draw a straight line from westerns to military to action movies. They are morality stories - good over evil.
I can appreciate that but I find action movies to be a bit boring. Unless it's like the Bourne trilogy that's so over the top that it's funny.
Also, even though I enjoy psychological thrillers, I don't want to see brutality. "Pulp Fiction" was an amazing movie in many ways but the brutality turned me off. "The Kite Runner" was one of my favorite books of the last few years but I haven't seen the movie because I've heard that it's brutal in parts.
One of the most popular movie genres is "Revenge." I think revenge movies probably help some people live out some fantasies.
My favorite genre is "Redemption." The Savages, Michael Clayton, Juno and The Great Debaters are all redemption movies.
***
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Radical Fundamentalism
I heard a guy speak a few days ago. He was good. I liked that he had a point of view and the background to back it up. He's from Iran. And he wants us to pronounce that E-RON.
Some of his story parallels the main character's in "The Kite Runner" but I was sitting up close and personal to this guy when he was telling his story so it was exciting.
I like that he is a Christian convert but something he said bothered me. And it was this.
"Muslims want to take over the world."
I have a problem with "absolute" statements. I have some Muslim friends whom I love. To my knowledge, not one of them has ever made a move to take over the world.
I think a better statement might be: "Some Muslims want to take over the world." Or some Muslims with a political agenda want to take over the world.
There are those who think that: "Some Evangelical Christians want to take over the world." In fact, there are those who think that some Evangelical Christians (with a political agenda) have taken over much of the world.
I also have plenty of Evangelical Christian friends and family members whom I love. In the theological sense -not the political - I am one. (I have no take over plans.)
A Lunatic Fringe surrounds almost every movement - people who are always pushing the envelope.
During the Reagan Administration there was a group of conservative Christians who wanted to hurry up the end times.
Jesus had to contend with the Zealots.
While Christianity is the largest religion in the world, there are currently over a BILLION Muslims and the religion is rapidly growing.
Maybe we should learn a little more about each other and our true beliefs.
***
Monday, January 28, 2008
The 5th Commandment
I took my Boyfriend to our little neighborhood "Art" theater on Friday.
We saw the movie "The Savages" with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney. She's up for an Academy Award and he, of course, should be. (He should get an Academy Award for almost every movie he's ever made.)
I loved every minute of it. It's a tragicomedy. That's what my life has been so far. I don't expect it to change.
The movie's about two middle aged children of a (bad) father who find him dumped in their laps after not seeing him for many years. Reviewers have called them (the children) heartless and mean at times. I think they are flawed human beings, doing the very best they can in a tragic situation.
Other movies like "Nothing in Common" staring Tom Hanks and Jackie Gleason have touched on this subject - but nothing like this one.
"The Savages" is real. It's raw. It struggles with the the question "Why should we help people who have hurt us?"
This movie made me feel joyful - and hopeful.
***
We saw the movie "The Savages" with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney. She's up for an Academy Award and he, of course, should be. (He should get an Academy Award for almost every movie he's ever made.)
I loved every minute of it. It's a tragicomedy. That's what my life has been so far. I don't expect it to change.
The movie's about two middle aged children of a (bad) father who find him dumped in their laps after not seeing him for many years. Reviewers have called them (the children) heartless and mean at times. I think they are flawed human beings, doing the very best they can in a tragic situation.
Other movies like "Nothing in Common" staring Tom Hanks and Jackie Gleason have touched on this subject - but nothing like this one.
"The Savages" is real. It's raw. It struggles with the the question "Why should we help people who have hurt us?"
This movie made me feel joyful - and hopeful.
***
Friday, January 25, 2008
Prayer Flags
I'm still (slowly) working my way through Elizabeth Gilbert's bestseller, "Eat, Pray, Love." Basically, she left a bad marriage and, in the book, is now trying to "find herself" and "get in touch with God."
Worthy goals.
I guess I'm just jealous because I had to find myself and get in touch with God the hard way - while I worked, raised children, put them through college, kept my husband grounded, and did a million other things that I felt I couldn't abandon.
The book is in three parts as Gilbert travels in different parts of the world. She spent a few months in Italy (Eat.) Then in India at an Ashram (Pray), and now she's in Indonesia, Bali to be exact. So I'm thinking that this is where she'll find Love.
We had dinner at a friend's house the other night. They too, are world travelers - to exotic places. But always with a purpose - one that involves enriching the lives of other people. Each of them, separately and together, is making a difference in the world.
As I'm writing this he's making a difference in Haiti.
Recently they were in Bhutan, (Land of the Peaceful Dragon.) They stayed only a few days because, well, they have a life here that includes responsibilities (like children.)
As we were leaving the home the other evening my friend gave me a bundle of Buddhist prayer flags.
As I'm writing this they are cascading from the high point of my four poster bed. They remind me that most of the people I know are "finding themselves" and "getting in touch with God" by helping others and praying right where they are.
Worthy goals.
I guess I'm just jealous because I had to find myself and get in touch with God the hard way - while I worked, raised children, put them through college, kept my husband grounded, and did a million other things that I felt I couldn't abandon.
The book is in three parts as Gilbert travels in different parts of the world. She spent a few months in Italy (Eat.) Then in India at an Ashram (Pray), and now she's in Indonesia, Bali to be exact. So I'm thinking that this is where she'll find Love.
We had dinner at a friend's house the other night. They too, are world travelers - to exotic places. But always with a purpose - one that involves enriching the lives of other people. Each of them, separately and together, is making a difference in the world.
As I'm writing this he's making a difference in Haiti.
Recently they were in Bhutan, (Land of the Peaceful Dragon.) They stayed only a few days because, well, they have a life here that includes responsibilities (like children.)
As we were leaving the home the other evening my friend gave me a bundle of Buddhist prayer flags.
As I'm writing this they are cascading from the high point of my four poster bed. They remind me that most of the people I know are "finding themselves" and "getting in touch with God" by helping others and praying right where they are.
***
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Who Are We For, Dad?
When my kids were little they loved watching sporting events with their dad. I can remember both of my sons, when they were tiny, saying at the beginning of a game,
"Who are we for, Dad?"
That's a good question to ask ourselves about our presidential candidates. I'm a voter, i.e., I've voted in every election for the past 40 years.
"Who are we for, Dad?"
That's a good question to ask ourselves about our presidential candidates. I'm a voter, i.e., I've voted in every election for the past 40 years.
But there's a better question. One that should come before the WHO.
"What are we for, dad?"
There are several web sites out that allow you to see if your goals for our country line up with your candidates. My favorite is http://www.selectacandidate.com/ This site was developed by Minnesota Public Radio. It provides a 15 question quiz about Iraq, stem cells, immigration, the death penalty and so on. Thoughtfully answer the questions and at the end they'll tell you which presidential candidate most matches your beliefs.
Not only that, they'll show you how you stack up with all of the other candidates.
I wasn't surprised with the candidate they chose for me - but you might be.
By the way, they have a neat thing here in Florida whereby you can vote early at selected libraries. Our primary is coming up next week but I voted a couple of weeks ago.
Restaurants
I eat out most days. But not usually at pricey places. I have my favorites. And at each one I have a favorite item. Won't call it a meal because I very seldom eat an entire meal.
When my Boyfriend arrived on the scene my daughter gave me a talking to about not taking this refined, cultured gentleman to chain restaurants. Especially Darden restaurants. You know, like The Olive Garden.
"And please mom, don't use your coupons."
Of course I introduced him to Darden restaurants and he loves them. We eat often at Season's 52. A little pricier than the others but we share a meal.
That's right. Last Sunday we shared a lemongrass salmon salad.
Occasionally we take other people out for special meals in expensive places and it's fun - but we don't need that to have a good time.
OK, here's the problem. I recently introduced my Boyfriend to a nationwide chain restaurant that even I find a little off putting. I just knew he would finally say to me "Enough!"
I explained to him that we're doing a good thing because all of the waitresses look like they've just come from prison. I like that.
I explained to him that we don't have to over eat just because the vast majority of diners are morbidly obese. But then I tend to order something crazy because I'm overwhelmed by the menu, the twangy country music and the bric a brac covering virtually every horizontal and vertical surface.
The place kind of creeps me out but, for some strange reason, he likes it.
This morning I said "Let have breakfast wherever you want!"
Tomorrow it's my turn.
When my Boyfriend arrived on the scene my daughter gave me a talking to about not taking this refined, cultured gentleman to chain restaurants. Especially Darden restaurants. You know, like The Olive Garden.
"And please mom, don't use your coupons."
Of course I introduced him to Darden restaurants and he loves them. We eat often at Season's 52. A little pricier than the others but we share a meal.
That's right. Last Sunday we shared a lemongrass salmon salad.
Occasionally we take other people out for special meals in expensive places and it's fun - but we don't need that to have a good time.
OK, here's the problem. I recently introduced my Boyfriend to a nationwide chain restaurant that even I find a little off putting. I just knew he would finally say to me "Enough!"
I explained to him that we're doing a good thing because all of the waitresses look like they've just come from prison. I like that.
I explained to him that we don't have to over eat just because the vast majority of diners are morbidly obese. But then I tend to order something crazy because I'm overwhelmed by the menu, the twangy country music and the bric a brac covering virtually every horizontal and vertical surface.
The place kind of creeps me out but, for some strange reason, he likes it.
This morning I said "Let have breakfast wherever you want!"
Tomorrow it's my turn.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Poetry Doesn't (Usually) Sell
I'm a writer. I wrote articles for business magazines and such when I was working. But my passion was poetry. The poems were printed in newspapers and magazines as well but I was never paid much for them.
Other than the little green poetry book that was (crudely) self published in the 70s and sold thousands of copies and I saw it on e-Bay a while back for a lot of $$$.
My first poem was published in an Emory University literary magazine in the 60s. What a good feeling!
But very few people have ever made a living writing poetry - even those poets who've had great critical acclaim.
One of the things I like about writing poetry is "brevity." I like using as few words as possible. And even though I know the "correct" way to write it's fun to be creative with words. Like e.e. cummings and Billy Joel (who was a concert pianist until he started playing it his way.)
When I was younger and would get frustrated with some situation, I'd write a poem about it - and feel better. Then I'd sell the poem for $5.00 and feel even better.
In the turbulent 70s two things were going on: The Women's Movement was causing marriages to break up because women were able to work outside the home in great numbers - for the first time ever! This included the wives of ministers. The 70s were also a time of great upheaval in the Catholic Church. Priests and nuns were leaving. Many of them were getting married. Some of them to each other.
All of the above was disturbing. So I wrote the following epic poem - and sold it for $5.00.
SIGNS OF THE SEVENTIES
I feel like I'm caught
In mid stream changing horses,
Acknowledging priests' weddings,
And ministers' divorces.
***
Other than the little green poetry book that was (crudely) self published in the 70s and sold thousands of copies and I saw it on e-Bay a while back for a lot of $$$.
My first poem was published in an Emory University literary magazine in the 60s. What a good feeling!
But very few people have ever made a living writing poetry - even those poets who've had great critical acclaim.
One of the things I like about writing poetry is "brevity." I like using as few words as possible. And even though I know the "correct" way to write it's fun to be creative with words. Like e.e. cummings and Billy Joel (who was a concert pianist until he started playing it his way.)
When I was younger and would get frustrated with some situation, I'd write a poem about it - and feel better. Then I'd sell the poem for $5.00 and feel even better.
In the turbulent 70s two things were going on: The Women's Movement was causing marriages to break up because women were able to work outside the home in great numbers - for the first time ever! This included the wives of ministers. The 70s were also a time of great upheaval in the Catholic Church. Priests and nuns were leaving. Many of them were getting married. Some of them to each other.
All of the above was disturbing. So I wrote the following epic poem - and sold it for $5.00.
SIGNS OF THE SEVENTIES
I feel like I'm caught
In mid stream changing horses,
Acknowledging priests' weddings,
And ministers' divorces.
***
Monday, January 21, 2008
The Long Goodbye
We had a good weekend - but death was discussed.
My Boyfriend's sister has been with hospice for a week. We talk about her daily. My niece's mother in law, whom she blogged about, went with hospice last Thursday. She died this morning.
We had a wonderful conversation with a friend last night who's been battling leukemia for eight years. He's an inspiration to all who know him.
And in the class - the one where we discussed the death penalty last week - we discussed euthanasia yesterday.
By coincidence (if you believe in coincidence) Jack Kevorkian spoke at the University of Florida a few days ago. To my knowledge, he wasn't booed or heckled. He was treated with respect, even by those who disagreed with him - much like the way we treat each other in this class.
My Boyfriend and I each had long goodbyes with our spouses. When you watch somebody you love go through the dying process - up close and personal - for five years or so, it gives you a little different perspective.
Euthanasia (definition "Good Death") is not something I believe in. Yet, I've seen loving caregivers provide comfort at the end that might have hurried things along by an hour or two. How is this different? I don't know.
I've seen families cut off dialysis treatment when the insurance payments stopped - thereby causing death within a few days. How is this different?
In the class we discussed the doctor in New Orleans who stayed in the hospital with terminally ill patients throughout the storm and then was arrested and tried in court (and exonerated) for her efforts in alleviating their suffering.
What would I have done? I don't know.
Many religious people believe that "Redemption comes through suffering."
I believe that - redemption sometimes comes through suffering.
Other times it's just a process of dying made way too long by a system that keeps our bodies going way longer than God intended.
Then, blessedly, we die.
***
My Boyfriend's sister has been with hospice for a week. We talk about her daily. My niece's mother in law, whom she blogged about, went with hospice last Thursday. She died this morning.
We had a wonderful conversation with a friend last night who's been battling leukemia for eight years. He's an inspiration to all who know him.
And in the class - the one where we discussed the death penalty last week - we discussed euthanasia yesterday.
By coincidence (if you believe in coincidence) Jack Kevorkian spoke at the University of Florida a few days ago. To my knowledge, he wasn't booed or heckled. He was treated with respect, even by those who disagreed with him - much like the way we treat each other in this class.
My Boyfriend and I each had long goodbyes with our spouses. When you watch somebody you love go through the dying process - up close and personal - for five years or so, it gives you a little different perspective.
Euthanasia (definition "Good Death") is not something I believe in. Yet, I've seen loving caregivers provide comfort at the end that might have hurried things along by an hour or two. How is this different? I don't know.
I've seen families cut off dialysis treatment when the insurance payments stopped - thereby causing death within a few days. How is this different?
In the class we discussed the doctor in New Orleans who stayed in the hospital with terminally ill patients throughout the storm and then was arrested and tried in court (and exonerated) for her efforts in alleviating their suffering.
What would I have done? I don't know.
Many religious people believe that "Redemption comes through suffering."
I believe that - redemption sometimes comes through suffering.
Other times it's just a process of dying made way too long by a system that keeps our bodies going way longer than God intended.
Then, blessedly, we die.
***
Saturday, January 19, 2008
What's On Your Bucket List?
We had some friends over for dinner last night. Great discussions about all kinds of things. It's not that we agree on everything but we all care for and respect each other so we can enjoy sharing our thoughts.
We talked about movies. "The Bucket List" was mentioned. This movie, staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, is about two old guys who are terminally ill, i.e., ready to kick the bucket, so they go out and do all of the things they've always wanted to do.
I haven't seen the movie so don't know how it plays out for them.
Last night we spent some time sharing what's on our Bucket Lists. To my surprise, I finally had to say that I'm pretty content. Oh, I'd like to see more of the world and buy a few things but basically I feel very blessed right now in my personal life.
I'm always missing my many children and grandchildren and sometimes fantasize that we could live together on a big compound. Sort of like South Fork on "Dallas." But then I remember that those people spent a lot of time trying to kill each other and had serious drinking problems - including Miss Ellie.
At this point my Bucket List would mostly consist of things for other people.
What would you like to get done before you kick the bucket?
***
We talked about movies. "The Bucket List" was mentioned. This movie, staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, is about two old guys who are terminally ill, i.e., ready to kick the bucket, so they go out and do all of the things they've always wanted to do.
I haven't seen the movie so don't know how it plays out for them.
Last night we spent some time sharing what's on our Bucket Lists. To my surprise, I finally had to say that I'm pretty content. Oh, I'd like to see more of the world and buy a few things but basically I feel very blessed right now in my personal life.
I'm always missing my many children and grandchildren and sometimes fantasize that we could live together on a big compound. Sort of like South Fork on "Dallas." But then I remember that those people spent a lot of time trying to kill each other and had serious drinking problems - including Miss Ellie.
At this point my Bucket List would mostly consist of things for other people.
What would you like to get done before you kick the bucket?
***
Friday, January 18, 2008
Sparta Vs. Athens
In my "Intellectual Devotional" I recently read about "Sparta vs. Athens: The Battle for the Ancient World."
Sparta had the scariest military in the ancient world. They started training at birth. Babies unlikely to become strong soldiers were tossed into a gorge. Sparta won all of its wars.
Sparta was the Brawn.
Athens, on the other hand, was the birthplace of democracy and home to some of the most extraordinary accomplishments of philosophy, art and science. Aristotle, Plato and Socrates were all from Athens. For all we know, these guys may have had nice abs but they weren't trying to pick a fight all the time.
Athens was the Brain.
The contest is still waging. When I was in high school I "went steady" with a guy who was huge, and excelled in basketball, football and he knew how to put the shot. I'm not sure that we ever had an actual conversation but I felt safe with him.
That was before I realized that I was really turned on by big brains.
Sumner Redstone is Sparta.
Bill Gates is Athens.
I think for the last few years the rest of the world has seen the U.S. as Sparta. I'm hoping the future will bring us back to an Athens image.
***
Sparta had the scariest military in the ancient world. They started training at birth. Babies unlikely to become strong soldiers were tossed into a gorge. Sparta won all of its wars.
Sparta was the Brawn.
Athens, on the other hand, was the birthplace of democracy and home to some of the most extraordinary accomplishments of philosophy, art and science. Aristotle, Plato and Socrates were all from Athens. For all we know, these guys may have had nice abs but they weren't trying to pick a fight all the time.
Athens was the Brain.
The contest is still waging. When I was in high school I "went steady" with a guy who was huge, and excelled in basketball, football and he knew how to put the shot. I'm not sure that we ever had an actual conversation but I felt safe with him.
That was before I realized that I was really turned on by big brains.
Sumner Redstone is Sparta.
Bill Gates is Athens.
I think for the last few years the rest of the world has seen the U.S. as Sparta. I'm hoping the future will bring us back to an Athens image.
***
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Life's a Crap Shoot
Yesterday I met with my Power Rangers. They always make me feel empowered. That's why I call them my Power Rangers.
We're all pretty much into staying healthy so we got into talking about how "Everything's a Crap Shoot."
Somebody had read that too much calcium causes some kinds of cancer. (I consume mass quantities of calcium.)
Somebody else had read that taking flu shots five years in a row can cause Alzheimer's. (A couple of us decided that we'd rather take our chances with Alzheimer's than the flu.)
And so on.
And, besides that, most of us have family crises going all the time.
What to do?
We work hard to stay spiritually, emotionally and mentally strong. We have a sense of humor. We know who's in charge - and it isn't us.
***
We're all pretty much into staying healthy so we got into talking about how "Everything's a Crap Shoot."
Somebody had read that too much calcium causes some kinds of cancer. (I consume mass quantities of calcium.)
Somebody else had read that taking flu shots five years in a row can cause Alzheimer's. (A couple of us decided that we'd rather take our chances with Alzheimer's than the flu.)
And so on.
And, besides that, most of us have family crises going all the time.
What to do?
We work hard to stay spiritually, emotionally and mentally strong. We have a sense of humor. We know who's in charge - and it isn't us.
***
The Art of Conversation
My Boyfriend can start a conversation with anybody. Well, almost. What's the secret? It's not because he's a big talker It's because he asks questions and listens to the answers.
We're all suckers for this. We all want to be heard.
This morning we were having breakfast at Steak 'n Shake, a place we'd never been before. A man across the way was busy with a pencil and paper. My Boyfriend said, "Oh, are you doing a crossword?"
This precipitated a half hour conversation. By the way, it wasn't a crossword, it was Sudoku.
We know a lot of stuff about this man, especially where he likes to eat.
The down side is that he knows nothing about us. He didn't ask us any questions or listen to the answers.
Too bad. It's the secret of relationship success.
We're all suckers for this. We all want to be heard.
This morning we were having breakfast at Steak 'n Shake, a place we'd never been before. A man across the way was busy with a pencil and paper. My Boyfriend said, "Oh, are you doing a crossword?"
This precipitated a half hour conversation. By the way, it wasn't a crossword, it was Sudoku.
We know a lot of stuff about this man, especially where he likes to eat.
The down side is that he knows nothing about us. He didn't ask us any questions or listen to the answers.
Too bad. It's the secret of relationship success.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I STILL Have a Crush on Him
Yesterday in my class we discussed "Capitol Punishment." Yes, we can actually talk about things of this nature and not provoke fist fights.
The discussion reminded me of a dinner my Boyfriend and I attended last year. The keynote speaker was Jack Murphy - or as some of you may remember him,
Murph the Surf
He got his nickname in the 50s because he was a national surfing champ. He was also a:
The discussion reminded me of a dinner my Boyfriend and I attended last year. The keynote speaker was Jack Murphy - or as some of you may remember him,
Murph the Surf
He got his nickname in the 50s because he was a national surfing champ. He was also a:
- concert violinist
- tennis pro
- stunt man
- astoundingly good looking dude with a magnetic personality and genius I.Q.
And then he and a friend pulled off the greatest jewel heist in U.S. history.
If you think Paris Hilton used to be in the news a lot (before she ticked off the paparazzi) she was nothing compared to Murph the Surf. Every young woman in the country was in love with him. Every young man wanted to be him.
He was a media darling and he knew how to work it.
After serving a short sentence (after all, nobody was hurt) he moved to Florida. He then started his real crime career that ended in a murder conviction - two life sentences, plus 20 years.
The crimes he committed in Florida weren't pretty or victimless. He was a bad dude.
But after 20 years and a religious conversion, he was released. He's spent the last 20 years speaking in prisons from Chicago to Moscow.
At first I didn't believe him. I thought maybe he was the same charming, smart, diabolical con man he'd always been. But I'll have to give it to him. He's using his gifts for good rather than evil.
Last year when I saw him wondering around in a crowd of community leaders, I knew him immediately. The blond wavy hair was lighter - but still there. He was tanned and those baby-blues were still twinkling.
He still stands out in a crowd like the Star of India.
At one time he was an argument for capitol punishment. Now he's an argument against.
***
Saturday, January 12, 2008
You Can't Make Some People Happy
I'm still dealing with the hypertension. Things are moving along and I should be happy but I'm still having side effects from the meds. Side effects that closely resemble the spiking B/P symptoms.
For my whole life I've had skinny ankles. When I was pregnant (all four times) I gained an enormous amount of weight but my arms and legs still resembled sticks. I looked like a balloon animal. Never any swelling other than my torso.
My hands and feet are ridiculously small. They resemble Blondie Bumstead's.
Or used to.
Now at about 3 PM the swelling begins. By six I can forget about anything resembling an attractive shoe if I plan to walk at all.
Last night I wore my clown shoes to the movies hoping no one would notice.
I should be counting my good health blessings but instead I'm lamenting the loss of my ankles.
***
For my whole life I've had skinny ankles. When I was pregnant (all four times) I gained an enormous amount of weight but my arms and legs still resembled sticks. I looked like a balloon animal. Never any swelling other than my torso.
My hands and feet are ridiculously small. They resemble Blondie Bumstead's.
Or used to.
Now at about 3 PM the swelling begins. By six I can forget about anything resembling an attractive shoe if I plan to walk at all.
Last night I wore my clown shoes to the movies hoping no one would notice.
I should be counting my good health blessings but instead I'm lamenting the loss of my ankles.
***
Friday, January 11, 2008
Hospice
My Boyfriend's little sister is going to hospice. He's grateful that he got to have a good visit with her while we were on our road trip.
As you may know hospice is a wonderful concept. When the time comes for us to stop struggling with trying to stay alive we can let hospice gently help us go in the other direction. This doesn't necessarily mean that we'll die soon. It does mean that all of the painful treatments, chemo, radiation, dialysis, traveling across the country for one last procedure, etc. STOPS. And we are encouraged to rest and let nature take its course - pain free.
Several years ago I was on a terrible committee. I lived in a county where hospice was overcrowded. It was essentially our job to kick people out of the program. Why? Because to be in hospice you must have a diagnosis of being terminal within six months.
Hospice was so wonderful that people were living longer than six months - especially children. Should we throw them out so that others could get in?
My Boyfriend's Real Wife went to hospice. My Real Husband was with hospice but stayed at home. My Boyfriend's sister making this decision has brought up those memories. Not all of them are bad.
Right now he's writing her a letter. Should he e-mail it or is there time to send it through the regular mail? What should it say?
As you may know hospice is a wonderful concept. When the time comes for us to stop struggling with trying to stay alive we can let hospice gently help us go in the other direction. This doesn't necessarily mean that we'll die soon. It does mean that all of the painful treatments, chemo, radiation, dialysis, traveling across the country for one last procedure, etc. STOPS. And we are encouraged to rest and let nature take its course - pain free.
Several years ago I was on a terrible committee. I lived in a county where hospice was overcrowded. It was essentially our job to kick people out of the program. Why? Because to be in hospice you must have a diagnosis of being terminal within six months.
Hospice was so wonderful that people were living longer than six months - especially children. Should we throw them out so that others could get in?
My Boyfriend's Real Wife went to hospice. My Real Husband was with hospice but stayed at home. My Boyfriend's sister making this decision has brought up those memories. Not all of them are bad.
Right now he's writing her a letter. Should he e-mail it or is there time to send it through the regular mail? What should it say?
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
What a Couple!
On our recent trip my Boyfriend and I drove from the Carolinas to Atlanta. It was my second visit in a few days. The first was to see family. This time our destination was the High Museum.
We stayed at the Granada Hotel in mid town. Very old and picturesque but the rooms were cold. Atlanta had a big cold snap the day we arrived. The fountain in the middle of the courtyard was an ice sculpture.
We walked to the museum. The High was designed by Richard Mier. He also designed the Getty in L.A. He likes white. Just looking at the building was a treat for the eyes.
The big deal in the museum was the ancient Egyptian exhibit on loan from the Louvre. Two hundred years ago this Egyptian stuff was reintroduced to the modern world (at that time) by this cool French couple named:
Napoleon and Josephine
They were the fashionistas of their time. If they said it was hot - it was hot. Actually Josephine was the trend setter and she liked all things Egyptian. Napoleon was "head over heels" for her so he went along - as many husbands do.
So France had an Egyptian art renaissance a couple of hundred years ago and we're still enjoying it.
All of this culture was happening even while Napoleon was out fighting wars and Josephine was back home cheating on him. They were multi-taskers.
We stayed at the Granada Hotel in mid town. Very old and picturesque but the rooms were cold. Atlanta had a big cold snap the day we arrived. The fountain in the middle of the courtyard was an ice sculpture.
We walked to the museum. The High was designed by Richard Mier. He also designed the Getty in L.A. He likes white. Just looking at the building was a treat for the eyes.
The big deal in the museum was the ancient Egyptian exhibit on loan from the Louvre. Two hundred years ago this Egyptian stuff was reintroduced to the modern world (at that time) by this cool French couple named:
Napoleon and Josephine
They were the fashionistas of their time. If they said it was hot - it was hot. Actually Josephine was the trend setter and she liked all things Egyptian. Napoleon was "head over heels" for her so he went along - as many husbands do.
So France had an Egyptian art renaissance a couple of hundred years ago and we're still enjoying it.
All of this culture was happening even while Napoleon was out fighting wars and Josephine was back home cheating on him. They were multi-taskers.
Monday, January 7, 2008
What's Love Got to Do With It?
I'm reading the best selling book "Eat, Love, Pray" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Just finishing the first 3rd of the book and so far I'm not crazy about it. But I suspect that it will get much better. She's being very open about who she is and how she operates.
Sometimes when people are real they scare us.
She writes a funny description about her dysfunctional relationships. It looks familair to me. I know people who function this way.
While this does NOT describe my close friends I do know women who, even at my age, are still doing this:
...I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my (body,) my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all of your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and and rain check. I will give you all of this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.
What Elizabeth Gilbert describes is certainly not what a Woo Woo woman is all about.
***
Sometimes when people are real they scare us.
She writes a funny description about her dysfunctional relationships. It looks familair to me. I know people who function this way.
While this does NOT describe my close friends I do know women who, even at my age, are still doing this:
...I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my (body,) my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all of your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and and rain check. I will give you all of this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.
What Elizabeth Gilbert describes is certainly not what a Woo Woo woman is all about.
***
Woo Woo in the Woods
Recently somebody asked me what "Woo Woo" meant. I was stuck. It's kind of like the descriptive word "Granola." The picture immediately comes to my mind of a woman in a long skirt and Birkenstocks eating an organic carrot.
But that's just me. You may have a different definition of "Granola."
When I describe my friends as "Woo Woo" I mean that they're spiritual, always seeking knowledge and wisdom, willing to embrace the mystery of the universe and the mystery of themselves. I don't picture any one person because to be "Woo Woo" means to be ones self.
We're all different.
One of my Woo Woo friends, a person whom I greatly admire, preached the sermon at my church yesterday. She had on a flowing liturgical robe and really cute shoes.
So on our road trip my Boyfriend and I stopped to visit one of my Power Rangers and her Significant Other in their cabin in the woods in North Carolina.
She's Woo Woo.
The first thing we did was take a bottle of wine to her tree house. It's a two platform structure deep in the woods - built by him but decorated by her. Hanging from the beautiful wooden planks are jewelry items, various wind chimes, angels - you get the idea.
After a glass of wine in the tree house she and I walked her labyrinth. It's next to the tree house.
Their cabin (house really) is a work of art. As are the woods surrounding it. He says with a sigh that she likes to manicure the forest.
You may think that she has way too much time on her hands. Quite the opposite. She has a huge job back here in the city - with much stress.
Sometimes she's a round peg in a square hole.
She's Woo Woo.
But that's just me. You may have a different definition of "Granola."
When I describe my friends as "Woo Woo" I mean that they're spiritual, always seeking knowledge and wisdom, willing to embrace the mystery of the universe and the mystery of themselves. I don't picture any one person because to be "Woo Woo" means to be ones self.
We're all different.
One of my Woo Woo friends, a person whom I greatly admire, preached the sermon at my church yesterday. She had on a flowing liturgical robe and really cute shoes.
So on our road trip my Boyfriend and I stopped to visit one of my Power Rangers and her Significant Other in their cabin in the woods in North Carolina.
She's Woo Woo.
The first thing we did was take a bottle of wine to her tree house. It's a two platform structure deep in the woods - built by him but decorated by her. Hanging from the beautiful wooden planks are jewelry items, various wind chimes, angels - you get the idea.
After a glass of wine in the tree house she and I walked her labyrinth. It's next to the tree house.
Their cabin (house really) is a work of art. As are the woods surrounding it. He says with a sigh that she likes to manicure the forest.
You may think that she has way too much time on her hands. Quite the opposite. She has a huge job back here in the city - with much stress.
Sometimes she's a round peg in a square hole.
She's Woo Woo.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Book Recomendation
Somebody gave my Boyfriend a book. I read the first page and instantly knew I would love it, so he bought me my very own copy.
I don't want you to think that he lavishes me with gifts. We don't have that kind of relationship plus I don't need or want any more stuff. Nor does he.
But I didn't want to read his copy of the book because I have to write in it. It's that kind of book. It's called:
The Intellectual Devotional by David Kidder and Noah Oppenheim
It's not a spiritual devotional. It's a secular book in the same tradition with one year's worth of daily readings on history, literature, arts, science, music, philosophy....and religion.
One of the first entries is on James Joyce's book Ulysses. Years ago I found this book very hard to read. But it was worth it. It's based on Homer's Odyssey but it's about a Jewish guy named Leopold Bloom. He's a good guy during hard times. Joyce calls what he does "Everyday heroism."
Today we would call it "Random acts of kindness."
I'm not recommending that you read Ulysses. James Joyce didn't like to use periods and commas. But you can read this page of The Intellectual Devotional and then pretend that you read Ulysses.
But if that's too hard just rent the movie Evan Almighty. It's the same message.
***
I don't want you to think that he lavishes me with gifts. We don't have that kind of relationship plus I don't need or want any more stuff. Nor does he.
But I didn't want to read his copy of the book because I have to write in it. It's that kind of book. It's called:
The Intellectual Devotional by David Kidder and Noah Oppenheim
It's not a spiritual devotional. It's a secular book in the same tradition with one year's worth of daily readings on history, literature, arts, science, music, philosophy....and religion.
One of the first entries is on James Joyce's book Ulysses. Years ago I found this book very hard to read. But it was worth it. It's based on Homer's Odyssey but it's about a Jewish guy named Leopold Bloom. He's a good guy during hard times. Joyce calls what he does "Everyday heroism."
Today we would call it "Random acts of kindness."
I'm not recommending that you read Ulysses. James Joyce didn't like to use periods and commas. But you can read this page of The Intellectual Devotional and then pretend that you read Ulysses.
But if that's too hard just rent the movie Evan Almighty. It's the same message.
***
A Tiny Mix Up
OK, here's what I know for sure.
We were traveling South.
It's fun to see country places and small towns that "make do" with smaller venues than we city folks are used to. For instance, we stopped for a few minutes at "Ronnie's Gym and Window Tinting." How convenient if you should need both.
Then we're traveling along and I see a sign that says "Athens." So I say to my Boyfriend, Athens is a very sophisticated small town. It's where the University of Georgia is located. Why don't we stop there and tour the school?
He's says, "Sure" because he's a very agreeable guy.
So we get off the Interstate and drive a few miles to get to Athens. Only it's Athens, Tennessee. The University of Georgia is not located there.
But Tennessee Wesleyan is. And it's a Methodist school. So we toured that. On foot.
We had to confess to the guy at the coffee shop on the town square that we were in the wrong Athens, touring the wrong school in the wrong state.
But we enjoyed ourselves.
***
We were traveling South.
It's fun to see country places and small towns that "make do" with smaller venues than we city folks are used to. For instance, we stopped for a few minutes at "Ronnie's Gym and Window Tinting." How convenient if you should need both.
Then we're traveling along and I see a sign that says "Athens." So I say to my Boyfriend, Athens is a very sophisticated small town. It's where the University of Georgia is located. Why don't we stop there and tour the school?
He's says, "Sure" because he's a very agreeable guy.
So we get off the Interstate and drive a few miles to get to Athens. Only it's Athens, Tennessee. The University of Georgia is not located there.
But Tennessee Wesleyan is. And it's a Methodist school. So we toured that. On foot.
We had to confess to the guy at the coffee shop on the town square that we were in the wrong Athens, touring the wrong school in the wrong state.
But we enjoyed ourselves.
***
Friday, January 4, 2008
Star Wars House
At Christmas time I was at my favorite house - besides mine. It's a Star Wars House. It was a Star Wars Christmas. All Star Wars - all the time.
This isn't like the 30 year old Trekkie (Star TREK) living in his parent's basement. Star Wars always was and still is cool.
All of my kids loved Star Wars. Not one of them is living in my basement.
So my younger grandsons have hundreds of star war figures and they know the back story for every one of them.
A couple of years ago I bought them a Star Wars Cookbook. They still use it. Some of the recipes are complicated and some are like "Make a cheese sandwich and stand Han Solo next to it."
My favorite is "Princess Leah Cinnamon Buns."
But back to Han. Following are some of his quotes. I've chosen the ones that will help you in your everyday life. Use them where appropriate.
Never tell me the odds.
Here's where the fun begins.
Great kid. But don't get cocky.
You know sometimes I even amaze myself.
***
This isn't like the 30 year old Trekkie (Star TREK) living in his parent's basement. Star Wars always was and still is cool.
All of my kids loved Star Wars. Not one of them is living in my basement.
So my younger grandsons have hundreds of star war figures and they know the back story for every one of them.
A couple of years ago I bought them a Star Wars Cookbook. They still use it. Some of the recipes are complicated and some are like "Make a cheese sandwich and stand Han Solo next to it."
My favorite is "Princess Leah Cinnamon Buns."
But back to Han. Following are some of his quotes. I've chosen the ones that will help you in your everyday life. Use them where appropriate.
Never tell me the odds.
Here's where the fun begins.
Great kid. But don't get cocky.
You know sometimes I even amaze myself.
***
The Best Gift
What constitutes the "best" gift? I think it's like "The Gift of the Magi" when people sacrifice in order to give. Remember the old SNL skit when Donald Trump sold his yacht to buy Ivana a jewel encrusted front door for Mar-A-Lago - only to learn that Ivana had sold Mar-A-Lago to buy him some fabulous thing for the yacht?
Like that.
I got some fun gifts for Christmas. But my Boyfriend got the best one from his 16 year old granddaughter. She's one of those kids who is crazy busy with school and sports and LIFE.
That's why it's so touching that she made her grandfather a CD. She downloaded tunes from her Ipod. But not the ones she listens to. She chose songs and artists that he loves. Nora Jones, Fiona Apple and Herbie Hancock.
The CD cover is an old picture of my Boyfriend holding a one year old baby girl.
On the inside all of the song titles and artists' names are hand written.
Last night we arrived home from our eleven state road trip. We have piles of dirty clothes and an avalanche of mail. But it's been a good day partly because we've played the CD so many times.
Like that.
I got some fun gifts for Christmas. But my Boyfriend got the best one from his 16 year old granddaughter. She's one of those kids who is crazy busy with school and sports and LIFE.
That's why it's so touching that she made her grandfather a CD. She downloaded tunes from her Ipod. But not the ones she listens to. She chose songs and artists that he loves. Nora Jones, Fiona Apple and Herbie Hancock.
The CD cover is an old picture of my Boyfriend holding a one year old baby girl.
On the inside all of the song titles and artists' names are hand written.
Last night we arrived home from our eleven state road trip. We have piles of dirty clothes and an avalanche of mail. But it's been a good day partly because we've played the CD so many times.
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