God's Gift

The recent report telling us that seniors are sexy (duh!) has had over the top press. The other night on Letterman's top 10 list of senior pick up lines: No. 1 was "Hi, I'm Dave Letterman."

As long as my kids were living at home I talked with them about sex - and, for the most part, they hated the conversations. What I used to say to them was "Don't ever deny your sexuality."

My denomination does a good job of helping young people deal realistically and responsibly with their budding sexuality. I wish we did the same kind of thing for every decade of our lives.

We could start with our political and religious leaders. It seems like there's always that power thing mixed up with that sex thing. But it's a lot more complicated than that.

How important is it? It's life and death.

In my opinion, God gave us a beautiful gift. But like many of God's gifts we tend to screw it up.

Needs More Study

In our political and social arenas we want fast answers to complicated questions.

In the late 70s and early 80s I was active in the League of Women Voters. Every issue was studied to death. But this was a good thing. In order to voice an opinion you had to have the facts.

In my state I was the spokesperson for the LWV opposing the lottery and casino gambling. The league's opposition at that time had nothing to do with morality. Our stance was:

The lottery and casino gambling are not a viable means of alternative tax revenue.

I was interviewed on radio, TV and in the press. Lots of hostile radio talk show guys sized me up as some little housewife (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I pretty much blew them out of the water - because we had the facts. Primarily about Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

Now, after years of having the state lottery, I still agree with the League's stance at that time.

A Beautiful Mouth

A number of people I know have really white teeth. A few, including some of my family members, have teeth that are so radiant you could read the news by them - wearing sunglasses.

Since I had a $4.00 coupon I decided to buy my first box of teeth whitening strips. It's a new brand, actually a very old brand name, and easy as pie to apply.

Last night I followed the instructions to the letter. This morning I woke up with swollen lips.

I know you're thinking: This is good. She looks like Pam Anderson.

But it's really just my upper lip so think instead Marge Simpson.

My Power Rangers would be arriving at my house at 9:00 A.M. so I applied ice for about an hour prior to then. I still had a fat lip but they were nice about it.

I'm not sure what I should do next. I could apply the WWJD principle. But I doubt that Jesus would apply teeth whitening strips in the first place.

Spilled Soup

Years ago we had a friend who was a judge and then a legislator. He was also African American. We had a special bond because he grew up in my community (long before we moved here.) His parents were servants in the winter home of a very wealthy and prominent family.

By the way, only one of those homes still exists. It's down the street from me but it houses a commercial developer's office so it's lost it's charm.

Now my friend can afford his own servants. But we call them staff.

By the way, I have no staff.

One time, at a big fancy dinner, I was honored by being seated next to my friend. Not many people in that city knew who he was. So it was surprising that, while serving the many courses to my friend, the blond waitress seemed to be angry or in pain or something.

And then she spilled a bowl of soup all over him.

He was gracious and kind to her. After she left I expressed my concern. He laughed and said,

"It happens to me all the time."

I wonder if it's still happening. I sure hope not. I hope we've come further than that.

The Dog House

My Boyfriend and I have this in common. We both used to speak occasionally to elementary school classes. We were sometimes invited to speak to "gifted" children. His goal was to interest them in architecture. My goal was to interest them in poetry.

This was long before we met each other.

If you're not skilled in communicating with gifted children, which neither of us were, it can sometimes be a challenge.

Once he visited a classroom full of second graders. He instructed them to design a dog house. Lots of questions followed. Is it in the back yard? Front yard? On a hill? Soft dirt? Slopping lawn?

One little boy asked if the area could flood. My Boyfriend said,

"Let's assume it doesn't flood."

This seven year old replied,

"Sir, we don't make assumptions in this class!"

Making Assumptions

I attended a really fun party the other night. I took my fake parents. My friend offered her house for the party as she does so graciously for many gatherings.

It's a great house.

I answered the door when one couple arrived and tried to pretend that it was my house - but, since they live right down the street from me - they didn't go for it.

Two men, who didn't know my friend well asked me, "What does her husband do?"

I said, "Wrong question. But here's the answer."

"It's her house. She's the man!"

Compromise

My Real Husband and I had "heavy discussions" about a number of things. I'll have to admit it wasn't always his fault.

When he was in seminary and I was working full time at the university he would occasionally wake me up at 1:00 A.M. to type a paper he'd just finished - and, of course, was due the next morning.

I'd drag myself to the typewriter and begin. Then stop. Because I didn't agree with what he'd written - and I didn't think he believed it either. That preceded a "heavy theological discussion."

Naming the children was a contest of wills. When we were expecting our 4th we agreed on the first name but I didn't like his middle name choice.

And I was ready to put a permanent stop to the baby business. He wasn't so sure. Despite not being a real hands on father (he was called to other things) he loved having babies.

I had a perfectly logical reason for not wanting his choice for the baby's middle name. Even though it was a biblical name (of a good guy in the Bible) I had some issues with this New Testament character.

So when our baby was two days old and still unnamed, my Real Husband arrived at the hospital with a gift. A silver charm for my bracelet. On one side the baby's full name (with the middle name he wanted) was engraved. On the other side of the hexagonal shaped charm, in large square print, was the word STOP.

I accepted the compromise.