We have a big controversy going on right now in Florida. Our state song has been rejected for being racist. That's right, "Swanee River" (you may know it by it's real title which some people think fits us "Old Folks at Home") is being replaced.
We're down to 3 contenders for the new song. The guy in the lead is a New Zealander.
But parodies abound. They all deal with our faults.
And currents songs have been suggested like "Big Yellow Taxi" (They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.)
And, of course, there are those who want to retain "Old Folks at Home." They think only the pinko liberals are offended by the words. After all, we don't have any more slaves in Florida.
My favorite local columnist, Mike Thomas, wrote several sets of lyrics for alternative consideration this morning. Following are his titles:
To the tune of "I Shot the Sheriff" - I Bought the Condo
To the tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" - My Glock is Packed, I'm Ready to Go
To the tune of "She Loves Me" - I'm In Foreclosure, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
But my favorite was by another columnist, Scott Maxwell, written to the tune of "America the Beautiful"
Oh, hurricane-filled, cloudy skies,
O'er sinkhole-covered lots;
Where mice run free,
And we clear-cut trees;
Where elections we have botched.
Oh Florida, Oh Florida
You mean the world to me,
Where beaches have sea walls,
And lots of strip malls,
Ooph, I just hit a man-a-tee.
**
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Bug Season
The holidays are here. That means lots of people are sick. Not me. I'm fine. My little B/P saga is under control and I'm looking forward to flying north in a few days for a glorious reunion with my BF.
But I'm also spending time with lots of other people including kids with running noses and adults with crazy coughs.
The little Viet Namese lady who did my nails today was sick as a dog. After all of that pampering I went straight to the restroom and scrubbed from the elbows down.
My 2 and 4 year old grand kids are coming over tonight. I can't wait. Tomorrow morning I'm visiting a man who's sick in bed with the stomach stuff.
Tomorrow afternoon I'm attending my favorite luncheon of the season - or any season. No telling how many germ factories will have had their hands in the buffet before it's over.
Christmas eve I'll be in church with hoards of little kids bouncing off the walls. My new 4 week old grand child is playing the baby Jesus. It's an acting stretch because she's a girl but I think she can pull it off.
Is all of this worth the risk of my getting a bug? Are you kidding me?
But I have started taking Airborne and doubling up on the V-C.
**
But I'm also spending time with lots of other people including kids with running noses and adults with crazy coughs.
The little Viet Namese lady who did my nails today was sick as a dog. After all of that pampering I went straight to the restroom and scrubbed from the elbows down.
My 2 and 4 year old grand kids are coming over tonight. I can't wait. Tomorrow morning I'm visiting a man who's sick in bed with the stomach stuff.
Tomorrow afternoon I'm attending my favorite luncheon of the season - or any season. No telling how many germ factories will have had their hands in the buffet before it's over.
Christmas eve I'll be in church with hoards of little kids bouncing off the walls. My new 4 week old grand child is playing the baby Jesus. It's an acting stretch because she's a girl but I think she can pull it off.
Is all of this worth the risk of my getting a bug? Are you kidding me?
But I have started taking Airborne and doubling up on the V-C.
**
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Houses
I love being in people's houses. Our living spaces tell so much about us.
I remember my grandparents' city house being big and beautiful. It wasn't big. Quite small really. But the yard was huge. And almost all of it was covered in flowers.
A writer/artist friend lives in a 300 sq. ft. space. It's charming.
One of my Power Rangers has lived in the same house for over 30 years. It's a "big family" house. The "go to" place. I laugh whenever I see her garage. Two cars can fit in but the walls are lined up solid with stuff. I'll bet she could live in the garage for a year and not run out of supplies.
My Boyfriend's daughter and family live in downtown Chicago in one of those tall, deep, skinny, one room wide-four stories high, brick houses. (Think the Cosby show.) I love it.
Another of my Power Rangers and her husband have recently downsized. They moved from a downtown house to my condo community - into the very same floor plan as my condo. Their place is lovely - but it looks very different from mine.
I've lived here for the past 12 years in a two-bedroom condo. I love where I live and don't think I would move even if I was fabulously well-to-do.
It's a good thing because I would be seriously breaking the 10th Commandment these days if I wasn't content in my place - since I've recently been in some fabu homes.
A younger friend told me yesterday that she wasn't going to any more holiday get-to-gathers because it was too hard on her to be in people's big houses when she didn't have one.
That's sad on so many levels.
It's also one of the reasons our country's in the mortgage mess.
**
I remember my grandparents' city house being big and beautiful. It wasn't big. Quite small really. But the yard was huge. And almost all of it was covered in flowers.
A writer/artist friend lives in a 300 sq. ft. space. It's charming.
One of my Power Rangers has lived in the same house for over 30 years. It's a "big family" house. The "go to" place. I laugh whenever I see her garage. Two cars can fit in but the walls are lined up solid with stuff. I'll bet she could live in the garage for a year and not run out of supplies.
My Boyfriend's daughter and family live in downtown Chicago in one of those tall, deep, skinny, one room wide-four stories high, brick houses. (Think the Cosby show.) I love it.
Another of my Power Rangers and her husband have recently downsized. They moved from a downtown house to my condo community - into the very same floor plan as my condo. Their place is lovely - but it looks very different from mine.
I've lived here for the past 12 years in a two-bedroom condo. I love where I live and don't think I would move even if I was fabulously well-to-do.
It's a good thing because I would be seriously breaking the 10th Commandment these days if I wasn't content in my place - since I've recently been in some fabu homes.
A younger friend told me yesterday that she wasn't going to any more holiday get-to-gathers because it was too hard on her to be in people's big houses when she didn't have one.
That's sad on so many levels.
It's also one of the reasons our country's in the mortgage mess.
**
Monday, December 10, 2007
Shopping Tips
I've been a party animal the last couple of weeks. Last night was my big annual Sunday school party. Lavish and fun.
After heavy Hors de oeuvres and heavy desserts we (about 45 of us) settled in for the gift exchange. It's one of those deals where, when your number is called, you pick your wrapped gift.
Everybody brings one. Everybody gets one.
The big hit last night was - well, I don't know what it was. I guess some sort of exercise gizmo. There were all sorts of suggestions as to what it was. Some a little off color.
Most of the gifts were useless but funny.
But I have some practical suggestions for your last minute shopping. I read about the following gifts in the flight catalogue while on my way home from Atlanta a few days ago.
After heavy Hors de oeuvres and heavy desserts we (about 45 of us) settled in for the gift exchange. It's one of those deals where, when your number is called, you pick your wrapped gift.
Everybody brings one. Everybody gets one.
The big hit last night was - well, I don't know what it was. I guess some sort of exercise gizmo. There were all sorts of suggestions as to what it was. Some a little off color.
Most of the gifts were useless but funny.
But I have some practical suggestions for your last minute shopping. I read about the following gifts in the flight catalogue while on my way home from Atlanta a few days ago.
- PERSONALIZED BRANDING IRON $89.95 plus shipping. Just think about your loved one serving the big standing rib roast on Christmas morning with her initials seared right on top. She'll be the envy of everybody. Or think about meatloaf for the kids. They're screaming and hungry but she says "Wait just a minute while I burn my initials into the side of this thing." I can't think of anybody who wouldn't be impressed. And the kids could find lots of other fun things (pets) to brand.
- BASKO THE SUMO WRESTLER Sculpture and Glass-Topped Table. $225.00 for the wrestler and $89.95 for the glass. This is a lovely nearly naked Sumo squatting beneath the clear glass. What's not to love.
**
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Healing Memories
I was with a group a while back where we were asked to tell about the best Christmas gift we received as children.
I told about receiving some homemade paper dolls from one of my aunts. Back then people would sometimes make paper doll clothes from wallpaper samples. I know this sounds pathetic but much of my childhood was pathetic.
Years ago I worked in fund raising at a Children's Home. Most people don't know what this is. They think it's an orphanage. But there are very few orphanages in this country. Most every child has a mom or dad.
But there are lots of sad stories. This particular children's home is a good place where the children live in beautiful brick cottages with house parents, go to school, receive counselling, and, for the most part, live well.
But most children would still rather live with their parents, no matter how bad it is. One day I stopped by a cottage to chat with a houseparent. He showed me to the bedroom of one of the children. It was the day before Thanksgiving. The child's belongings were neatly piled on the bed because he was excited about his mom picking him up after school for a home visit.
But the houseparent told me that she'd just called. She wasn't coming. It was the 4th holiday in a row that she wouldn't be coming. The houseparent was dreading having to tell the child.
Later in the day I scared up some tickets to a theme park so that he and the other kids who didn't get picked up by family could have fun on Thanksgiving.
I learned a long time ago that one of the best ways to heal my childhood memories is to make good memories for other kids.
**
I told about receiving some homemade paper dolls from one of my aunts. Back then people would sometimes make paper doll clothes from wallpaper samples. I know this sounds pathetic but much of my childhood was pathetic.
Years ago I worked in fund raising at a Children's Home. Most people don't know what this is. They think it's an orphanage. But there are very few orphanages in this country. Most every child has a mom or dad.
But there are lots of sad stories. This particular children's home is a good place where the children live in beautiful brick cottages with house parents, go to school, receive counselling, and, for the most part, live well.
But most children would still rather live with their parents, no matter how bad it is. One day I stopped by a cottage to chat with a houseparent. He showed me to the bedroom of one of the children. It was the day before Thanksgiving. The child's belongings were neatly piled on the bed because he was excited about his mom picking him up after school for a home visit.
But the houseparent told me that she'd just called. She wasn't coming. It was the 4th holiday in a row that she wouldn't be coming. The houseparent was dreading having to tell the child.
Later in the day I scared up some tickets to a theme park so that he and the other kids who didn't get picked up by family could have fun on Thanksgiving.
I learned a long time ago that one of the best ways to heal my childhood memories is to make good memories for other kids.
**
Saturday, December 8, 2007
She's Still At It
Thirty years ago I met a woman here in this city who, like me, was trying to change the world.
She's still at it.
The other day she wrote an editorial for the paper about her work with kids. To be more specific, Muslim, Jewish and Christian kids. She's all about projects that help these kids work and play together.
She says, "We are teaching our kids from the three faiths that human kindness transcends everything."
Our kids have learned how similar they are, but more important, they are learning about the differences that exist among them...learning not to be fearful or suspicious of those differences, but to treat them with respect...
You would absolutely not believe the hateful, mean, scary replies she's received from this one editorial. And I'm ashamed to say that it looks like most of them have come from Christian men.
I don't know how she has kept her courage over these many years. Nor do I know how she has the stamina (at her age - which is my age) to carry on.
In 2006 she was Amnesty International's Human Rights Activist of the year.
Let's see. What was I doing last year?
She's still at it.
The other day she wrote an editorial for the paper about her work with kids. To be more specific, Muslim, Jewish and Christian kids. She's all about projects that help these kids work and play together.
She says, "We are teaching our kids from the three faiths that human kindness transcends everything."
Our kids have learned how similar they are, but more important, they are learning about the differences that exist among them...learning not to be fearful or suspicious of those differences, but to treat them with respect...
You would absolutely not believe the hateful, mean, scary replies she's received from this one editorial. And I'm ashamed to say that it looks like most of them have come from Christian men.
I don't know how she has kept her courage over these many years. Nor do I know how she has the stamina (at her age - which is my age) to carry on.
In 2006 she was Amnesty International's Human Rights Activist of the year.
Let's see. What was I doing last year?
Friday, December 7, 2007
Magical Night
My favorite museum has a large collection of Tiffany art work. Every Christmas, for one night only, they haul out Tiffany Christmas Windows and place them in the park - on my favorite street. It seems like a lot of trouble to me but I'm so happy they do it.
The windows are all back lit and breathtakingly beautiful. Right after dark the Bach Choir, in formal wear, tunes up for Christmas carols in the bandstand.
Father Christmas walks around and chats up people. He's different from Santa because he wears the LONG coat.
Hundreds, maybe thousands, of people show up with their blankets and lawn chairs. Some bring little tables with linen and stemware for a champagne picnic.
If you get bored with the Tiffany or choir you can step across the street (easy because traffic is blocked off) and shop at the beautiful shops. Or just enjoy the twinkle lights for as far as you can see.
This all happened last night. As my friends and I sat out on the street, next to the park, having a light supper we said in unison:
"It just doesn't get better than this."
Of course we all have family that we wish could experience this. I wish my Boyfriend could see it. But last night, for a little while, I was "in the moment" with people I love.
**
The windows are all back lit and breathtakingly beautiful. Right after dark the Bach Choir, in formal wear, tunes up for Christmas carols in the bandstand.
Father Christmas walks around and chats up people. He's different from Santa because he wears the LONG coat.
Hundreds, maybe thousands, of people show up with their blankets and lawn chairs. Some bring little tables with linen and stemware for a champagne picnic.
If you get bored with the Tiffany or choir you can step across the street (easy because traffic is blocked off) and shop at the beautiful shops. Or just enjoy the twinkle lights for as far as you can see.
This all happened last night. As my friends and I sat out on the street, next to the park, having a light supper we said in unison:
"It just doesn't get better than this."
Of course we all have family that we wish could experience this. I wish my Boyfriend could see it. But last night, for a little while, I was "in the moment" with people I love.
**
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