Mad Girl's Love Song

 

My very first favorite poet was Slyvia Plath.  And, of all her poems, Mad Girl's Love Song is my favorite.  

My friend, Trish, does abstract art.  Sometimes I see things in her work that aren't, in her mind, there.

Art is like that. 

The first time I read Mad Girl's Love Song, probably in the 60s, it said things to me that Plath wasn't necessarily saying to the world.  A few days ago someone put the poem on Facebook, relating to our current situation. 

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;        I lift my lids and all is born again.     (I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,    And arbitrary blackness gallops in:    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

Plath's speaker is dealing with themes of mental illness, love and the power of imagination.  She's both euphoric and despairing. 

Bingo!

I am a life long insomniac.  But now, due to meds and lifestyle I, for the most part, sleep well and have good dreams.  Hence, I love the phrase "I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead."

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:    Exit seraphim and Satan's men:    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. 

I fancied you'd return the way you said,    But I grow  old and forget your name.    (I think I made you up inside my head.)

Yes, I feel that way about a special someone, but I feel heartache about so very many loved ones, alive and dead.  Again, I'm grateful that I can close my eyes at night and have sweat dreams. 

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;    At least when spring comes they roar back again,    I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.    (I think I made you up inside my head.)

***

Trader Joe's Bonkers Parking Lot

 

If you think you're the only one who goes insane in a Trader Joe's parking lot, think again.  The tiny parking lot is their thing. 

 I I buy one item at Trader Joe's.  Charles Shaw Chardonnay.  Or "Two Buck Chuck."  It's now over five dollars a bottle but still a fantastic buy and the only wine that doesn't have the potential to make me sick.  So, thumbs up on both counts.  Right?

Well, not exactly.  I went to to get my six months supply on Monday but after 30 minutes I gave up on finding a parking place.  The lot was super jammed because it was Veterans Day.  

Everything Trader Joe's does is purposeful and consistent in every store..  That includes small parking lots in dense areas.  Also they don't sell their products on line.  Period.  Their unique brands, like the most popular this year, Chili and Lime Flavored Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips, can be found only by navigating the tiny lot.  

Before we had a Trader Joe's in Winter Park, Florida, I shopped at the one in my then boyfriend David's city, Edina, Minnesota.  It was much the same.  Only they had parking attendants.  This looked like a life or death job for sure.

I'm thinking all Trader Joe's employees are home schooled.  Despite all the chaos in the parking lot and inside the store it's self, they are cheerful, helpful and a tiny bit condescending.  Absolutely nothing throws them. 

I live in Central Florida, one of the entertainment capitals of the world.  I lived here prior to Disney.  But two of the most highly anticipated brands to hit our area have been Trader Joe's and Ikea. 

I went back on Tuesday and got the job done. 

***

Solice

 A little criticism makes me angry and a little rejection makes me depressed.  A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me.  It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. 

Henri Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son

In my last post I referred to Pastor Philip's comments about how this parable might have ended differently.  It empowered me and gave me solace in this particularly terrifying time in our history. 

Years ago I was part of a study using Henri Nouwen's book, The Return of the Prodigal Son.  In the quote above, Nouwen is being brutally honest about his inner issues.  

While I can't fully relate to the quote above, I can relate to, along with everything else, having overwhelming feelings of existential anxiety.  

Henri Nouwen was one of our greatest Christian writers.  Particularly, I think, because he was brutally honest about himself.  By doing this, he helped all of us.  (He wrote The Wounded Healer.)  

In the study, we learned that, at a time when Nouwen was feeling particularly down, he visited the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, Russia, where he saw Rembrandt's most famous painting.  He was stunned by its majestic beauty.  He spent more than four hours with the painting that day.  And went back the next day. 

It was a healing experience. 

In 2012, this amazing thing happened to me.  David and I went to St. Petersburg and saw the painting. Since the Hermitage has the largest collection of paintings in the world,  I wondered if we'd even get to it. But we did.  While I didn't feel quite what Nouwen did, I was deeply moved and felt  empowered.  

I want to be like the Father. 

Not only do some art scholars consider Rembrandt's The Return of the Prodigal Son to be the greatest picture ever painted, most biblical scholars consider The Return of the Prodigal Son to be Jesus' greatest parable. 

***

When We All Get to Heaven

 My husband, Ken, died in 2004.  His funeral (or celebration of life) was jam packed with all kinds of people, from church, political and community leaders to street people.  He was a bridge builder for sure.  

In planning the service we chose traditional mainstream hymns.  And there were bagpipes.  But, for the final hymn, I chose the rousing old timey "When We All Get to Heaven."  

Fast forward to this past Sunday morning.  I now watch the church service on my big screen TV.  Pastor Philip preached.  But he was preceded by Pastor David who shared his own feelings of stress about the up coming election...... that some say is the most consequential election our country has ever faced.  

I did not want to deal with this.  Have you ever seen a therapist who ended up telling you all about his or her on issues.  This is how it felt.  I wanted to to turn off the TV.  

But I didn't. 

Prior to the sermon, Pastor Philip told us about a Christian Political Dialog, comprised of church members who were on both sides of the upcoming election.  He showed us a short video of the discussion.  I recognized a close friend in this group.

It took me a while to admit to myself how important this was, even though I was very uncomfortable.  But, with a congregation of several hundred people, it's only right that all voices need to be heard and respected. 

And Pastor David, was right in expressing his own stress, thereby helping us remember we're all in the same boat.  (Even though I felt like turning the TV off and crawling under my bed.)

Later, Pastor Philip preached on Luke 15, the story of the Prodigal Son.  I know this story inside out, as many people do.  But Philip painted a picture at the end that I had never before envisioned.

Remember the older son in the story who was angry because he stayed home and kept his nose clean but his dad never threw him a party?  Philip asked us to envision that, instead, the older son was standing on the porch with his dad, BOTH of them cheering for and embracing the Prodigal. 

I loved that image!  Do I feel less stressful about the upcoming election?  Nope.  But I do know we have to all find a way to live together after the election. 

And I loved Philip's image of reconciliation for all kinds of reasons. 

When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be!  When we all see Jesus we will sing and shout with victory. 

***

You can find the October 20th service and a clip of Christian Political Dialog on YouTube at FUMCWP.

The Miracle Club

A couple of days ago I watched this delightful movie on Netflix.  It takes place in 1967 in the United Kingdom.  It stars Dame Maggie Smith in her last role.  The film was made in 2023 and she died last month at age 89. 

It also stars Laura Linney and Kathie Bates.  

The story centers around each of them being able to travel to Lourdes, a town in France and a major Catholic pilgrimage site. In 1858, the Virgin Mary is said to have appeared to a 14 year old peasant girl and told her to dig in the ground nearby, from which came a spring with healing properties.   

Each year millions of people make this pilgrimage.  

So, in one sense, this is a road trip movie.  Unfortunately the waters of the grotto in Lourdes, healed none of those who rode the bus, along with their priest, and others from the their home village in the UK.  

However, in the end, as they exited the bus, every single person in this film experienced healing.  Not in a supernatural way, but in a way I believe God allows most of us to heal.

Now, I want to share with you my own personal miracle.  Two plus months ago, when I was leaving my friend and massage therapist Linda's, office, I dropped my hearing aid in the parking lot.  

I didn't discover this until I got home because I was sure it was in my purse.  (Almost every lost item eventually turns up in my purse.)  I called Linda and she searched for the hearing aid but "no luck."

This hearing aid is very expensive and must be fine tuned.  I wear only one because the hearing in my left ear is kaput!  However, I have its mate, so, after a trip to the audiologist, I was back in business.  

SIX WEEKS LATER Linda called to tell me someone in her office complex had given her the hearing aid that he'd found in the parking lot.  Knowing it would be useless, I told her to hang on to it until our next appointment.  That was yesterday, two month after I'd lost it.  It wasn't smashed like a pancake the way I thought it would be. 

I brought it home, left it in the charger overnight, and BAZINGA!  I'm wearing it right now.

***

    

Don't Know Much About Geography

 Don't know much about geography,  Don't know much trigonometry,   Don't know much about algebra,  Don't know what a slide rule is for...

Lyrics from the great Sam Cook's "Don't Know Much About History."

(My favorite rendition is from the 1985 movie Witness, when Detective Harrison Ford sings it to Amish Kelly McGillis)

This puzzle is huge and took a long, long time to complete.  It covers most of my dining room table.  

But, painstakingly,  I learned some things.  I've never known much about those big western square states.  I had some difficulty lining them up.  

As to the east, I have friends who live half the year in Vermont.  After a trip to Canada, I was telling them about Quebec City and how much it resembled cities in Europe.  They agreed. And said it was about a half hour drive from their house in Vermont.  I thought that was a funny exaggeration. But, after seeing them on this map, I'm not so sure.  

There's a whole bunch of "stuff" stuffed in the northeast corner of our country. 

The puzzle makers chose to display what each state is famous for.  Like Ohio is the Buckeye state.  Not many people know what a buckeye is.  Was the rainbow chosen for Kansas to remind us of "The Wizard of Oz?"   

It was not helpful that they chose to put Hawaii and Alaska in Mexico.  

But I do know that I love you,  and I know that if you love me too, what a wonderful world it would be. 

***

 

Tell Me Everything

My writing style is tight.  I try to eliminate every single word that I deem unnecessary.  Years ago, when part of my job was to edit marketing pieces, they referred to me as "the slasher." I took it as a compliment. 

On the other hand, I love the author Elizabeth Strout.  My niece, Sheri, and I have enjoyed reading her novels for years.  A fun part of her collection is that some of the same characters pop up in every book.  Several of them are in this book.  Olive Kitteridge has been around forever, first as the protagonist and later in other novels, in large and small roles. 

At some point, Lucy Barton took center stage. 

When Sheri sent me Strout's latest book, I thought, "Oh no, I can't read this.  After being ill for the past few months, my brain in not back to its full capacity."

And, trust me, you need brain capacity to read this novel.  It has multiple, multiple characters, doing and saying seemingly unremarkable things. 

But, like Picasso's elusive art pieces "Tell Me Everything" is not on trial.  It's been on the New York Times best seller list for a while.   This past Sunday it was #3.  And, more importantly to some, it's this year's Oprah pick.  

Sheri read her copy over a weekend.  After a couple of weeks I finally finished mine this morning.

Unlike "Seinfeid" this book's not about nothing.  It's about everything.  Following is a quote.

Olive laughed.  She really laughed at that. "Lucy Barton, the stories you told me - as far as I can tell - had very little point to them. Okay, okay, maybe they had subtle points to them. I don't know what the point is to this story!"

"People," Lucy said quietly, leaning back.  "People and the lives they lead.  That's the point."

"Exactly," Olive nodded.

My favorite character in all of Elizabeth Stout's novels is, and has always been, Olive Kitteridge.  My guess would be that she's the favorite of most of Stouts' readers.  Except, possibly, Sheri.  My guess is that Sheri's favorite might be Lucy Barton. 

 Like me, Olive is getting old and slowing down.  She is 91 in this book.  But, as my grandma used to say, still full of vinegar.  My guess is that she might be the favorite of the author as well, since Olive Kitteridge is responsible for Elizabeth Stout winning the Pulitzer Prize. 

Thank you Elizabeth and Sheri for this life affirming book. 

***

Thanks for Memories

Yesterday I returned a glass jar, with beautiful wicker braiding and a little wire handle, to my neighbor.  A couple of weeks prior, after I'd returned from the hospital, she left the jar on my doorstep filled to the brim with flowers.

After removing the flowers and spreading the drying rose petals in my big potpourri basket, I filled the jar with wrapped chocolates and added the card pictured here.  

Then I couldn't get this picture out of my mind. 

I am feeling so very grateful for friends and family and my entire life.  Some of it hard.  Some of it life changing for myself and others.  Some of it scary, but worth it.  

This card was made from one of my husband, David's, paintings.  After years of hard, but meaningful work, we traveled all over Europe.   I remember this street.  I remember having lunch at one of those outside tables.  I remember David telling me that he and his first wife, Audrey, walked down the same street.  I don't remember what country we were in. 

David signed all of his paintings.  Sometimes the signature is hard to find.  In this one, it's on the menu. "Runyan 2016."

***

 

Annie Potts

 I love Annie Potts. I loved her when she was the Ghostbusters sassy secretary.  I loved her as the wisecracking feminist in Designing Women.

And, now, at the age of 71, she's outdone herself as the beautiful, funny, strong, sexy Meemaw on Young Sheldon.  

I especially love the line she often uses "Are you tryin' to kill me?"  Like when she wakes up to young Sheldon beginning an analytical conversation.  Not at home in his own bed, but, unbeknownst to her, sleeping  next to her in her bed,    

23rd surgery

"Are you tryin' to kill me?"

But 71 year old Annie Potts has another story, one that's unbeknownst to many of us.  When she was 21 years old, she was hit, while walking, by a drunk driver.  She was left with every bone in her body below the waist (except one) broken.  

She recently had knee surgery.  But this wasn't her first surgery.  Over the years, she had many, 23 to be exact, including several knee replacements.

I wish every person in their 20s knew Annie Potts' broken body story.  For most of us, life is long, and tragedy happens, but it does not have to define us.

By the way, I sometimes want to say to family members whom I love........"Are you tryin' to kill me?"

***

Shadowlands

 

I suggest to you that it is because God loves us that he makes us the gift of suffering.  C. S. Lewis

This is not a photo of C. S. Lewis.  This is the great Sir Anthony Hopkins portraying  C. S. Lewis, in the 1993 film Shadowlands.  

I watched it yesterday on YouTube.  For free. 

Yes, I've seen it before but I loved every bit of it yesterday. 

Many people have never heard of C. S. Lewis, despite having written around 40 books, including Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters. 

His children's series "The Chronicles of Narnia" have sold more than 100 million copies. 

However, I'm not qualified to explain anything about C. S. Lewis's intellect.  

But, I want to share three things:

First, Lewis, who was born in 1898 and died in 1963, was a scholar at Oxford.  While there he was part of a group called The Inklings.  These were scholarly men who, for the most part, challenged each other.  But they were respectful and, above all, curious. 

This kind of growing has gone on since the beginning of humankind.  Men (no girls allowed, of course in the beginning) challenging, learning and growing as a species began around campfires in the wilderness.

Second, in his later years Lewis fell in love with an American woman.  Hopkins portrayed him well.  He was an awkward but kind genius who lived almost entirely in his head. The woman, Joy Davidman, was his intellectual equal on many levels.  The movie is romantic and tragic.  

Finally, this morning I discovered that I'd already written about Shadowlands.  In 2008, when I was a mere 68 years old and newly in love with this man named David, I was visiting him at his home in Edina Minnesota.  It was winter.  My guess is that David had never heard of C. S. Lewis.  But, for my birthday, he took me to the great Gunthrie Theater in Minneapolis to see  the play "Shadowland", the love story of C. S. Lewis and Joy Davidman.

***

Canes

 I have a cane collection.  My husband, Ken, started collecting them and, as the years went by, he was given many intricate, hand carved canes from all over the world.  

The history of canes, or staffs, is almost as long as the history of human kind.  Moses' staff in the Old Testament was miraculously transformed by God into a snake and then back into a staff.

Later staffs, or canes were carried by primitive humans for walking, hunting and protection.

Later still, well crafted canes or walking sticks were used as status symbols by wealthy men and was part of their gentlemen's attire. 

In the 1700's the first settlers in America continued to use cans as symbols of wealth and refinement.  Later, the Puritans put a stop to that.  Canes were no longer fancy and were not to be used to show off. 

Now canes are used mostly by old, sick people.  Social status is out the window.  I have had to use a cane at several points during my ten years of battle with Meniere's Disease.  I didn't like it one bit and worked very hard to gain back strength and balance so as not to need the cane.  

I haven't used one for a while now and was feeling good about it.  But then, a few days ago, out the of blue, my Apple watch informed me that my walking steadiness has been poor for several weeks and I could expect a fall within a year. 

What?  Have I been doing those 20 squats a day for nothing?  

So, I'm back to using the cane.  It is not fancy like the ones depicted here.  It's basic black.  The Puritans would be fine with it. 

***

What Do Women Want?

 

I wrote this poem in the 1970s.  I know we should all be grateful for Sigmund Freud and others, like Carl Yung, who was influenced by Freud, in their pursuit to discover what the heck we're all about.  

Later on, C. S. Lewis brought a spiritual dimension into play.  

I was thinking about this question, "What do women want?" when I was in my water aerobics class this morning.  Many of the women in the group are older and the primary caregivers for their unwell husbands.  My guess would be that their "wants" would not be in tune with Freud's conclusions. 

What brought this on was, last week, on TCM, I watched "Freud:  The Secret Passion," staring Montgomery Clift as Freud.  He was perfect for the roll of the depressed, suffering Freud, because Montgomery Clift looked that way in every one of his roles.  

But what got my attention was the young woman he was treating for "hysteria." Her name was  Cecily. 

When he discovered Cecily's diagnosis he also discovered his own.  It's a good movie but I was doing some major eye rolling throughout. 

I'm still sticking to my poem.

***

For more poems, my book New Day is on Amazon. 

The Good Old Days

 And you knew who you were then.  Girls were girls and men were men, Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

Didn't need no welfare state, Everybody pulled his weight,  Gee our old Lasalle ran great. Those were the days. 

Theme song for All In the Family as sung by Archie and Edith Bunker.

I've finished four of the big, thick historic novels my friend Christie gave me.  So I can officially say the part of my brain that processes large amounts of information in a timely manner seems to be up and running again.  

As with each of these books, The Saints of Swallow Hill is not a fun read. I was reminded why I've always had a "depression mentality."  And I learned something.  I had never heard the term "Turpentiners."  I had no idea turpentine was extracted from tree trunks.  It's why North Carolina is the "Tar Heel" state.

The book takes place in the south during the depression.  The vast majority of people were poor.  Turpetentiners did hard, dangerous work. No bonus for excelling but harsh punishment for falling behind. There was no safety net.  "Didn't have no welfare state." 

Rae Lynn Cobb and her husband were turpentine farmers but they were barely hanging on.  When her husband unexpectedly dies, Rae Lynn takes to the road to find the only work she knows how to do.  She ends up in Swallow Hill.  Knowing they wouldn't hire a woman, she disguised herself as a young man.  She worked hard but couldn't quite make her numbers, so she was punished.  

And this brings us to the sweatbox.  The small sweatbox is a form of torture that, I'm sad to say, was popular in the south during times of slavery and beyond.  It's still used in some parts of the world.  The sweatbox, a draconian form of solitary confinement,  is most effective in hot, humid weather. 

Rae Lynn was put in the sweatbox for three days. When she's freed, not quite dead but close, the novel takes a different direction. 

***

More Than a Woman

 For the past couple of weeks I've been reading a few pages a day of Jim Harnish's new book, Surprised by Mary.  

In it he refers to Mary, the mother of Jesus, and he reminds us of who she was and who we are.  In a Facebook note I quoted Jim's words about some Christian believers who struggle with the virgin birth.  Jim's comment was, Life is complicated enough without confusing theology with gynecology.  

When I read those words I did not think Jim was denying the virgin birth, but rather, inviting us to contemplate a bigger view of who Mary was and is.  

However, two friends have reached out to remind me of The Immaculate Conception. I had to (kindly of course) remind them that The Immaculate Conception is part of Roman Catholic dogma.  It states that Mary herself was conceived from a virgin mother and Mary was a virgin when she conceived Jesus.  The Immaculate Conception is not in the Bible and, in fact, was not officially defined as Catholic dogma until 1954 when it was made official by Pope Pius.  

But, for me, the book  Surprised by Mary , goes much further into who Mary was while she was on this earth.  She, along with her husband, raised Jesus.  She stayed with Jesus throughout his entire life.  She asked him to perform his first miracle.  She was momentarily rejected by him.  She was there at the cross.  She delivered The Magnificat, one of the most powerful  messages in the New Testament. 

She was in the room where it happened!  All of it.  

Why does any of this matter?  Because we all know how the church has categorized women since the very beginning.  Because my own gifted pastor, Rachel, was told last week that she should not have leadership in the church.  

Why?  You know why. 

***

 

Rules and Regulations

 I finished reading "Hour of the Witch" this morning.  My best take-a-way is, I''m so, so, grateful I didn't live in Massachusetts in 1662.  Not a safe place for a woman, especially a woman with a brain. 

Mary Deerfield's long, circuitous journey from being a battered wife to being accused of witchcraft and more (what an ending!) started with acquiring two forks. For starters, forks at that time were seen as pretentious. 

 They were also seen as "The Devil's Tines."

 Mary"s problem was, she was smart.  Her extremely abusive, older husband reminded her often that her brain consisted of "white meat." His assumption was his downfall. 

The Puritans were't the first to go off the deep end.  The church has had to have "Come to Jesus Meetings," literally, since The Sermon on the Mount.     

After finishing the above book this morning, I looked up some of the rules and regs in Deuteronomy. Here is part of the 5th verse in chapter 13......"so you shall purge the evil from your midst."

Please don't judge us by our forks.  

***

Book Returns

 I've been a little under the weather for a few months.  And, what with all the symptoms and medications, I found myself unable to concentrate enough to read meaty books the way I have for the last seven or so decades. 

I've always been a reader.  That's why I'm a writer.  You can read without writing.  But you can't write without reading.  

Anyway, I'm much better.  A couple of weeks ago, without warning,  my friend, Christie, presented me with five New York Times best selling books. 

What was she up to?  She knew I wasn't up to concentrating.  But, I thought I'd give it a try that afternoon,  I started with Before We Were Yours by master story teller, Lisa Wingate.  Once I started, I couldn't stop.  My favorite genre is fiction, along with real history.  

Before We Were Yours is set in the past but also the present.  It reminds us of the havoc wrecked on countless lives of children, as well as both birth and adoptive parents.  It exposes, in a new way, Georgia Tann and her Memphis Tennessee Children's Home Society.

So, how did I like this tragic, long, complicated story?  I loved it. 

Now I'm reading Hour of the Witch by Chris Bohjalian.  It takes place in Boston in 1662.  It's about culturally, religiously, sanctioned brutality and the original American witch hunt. 

As a side note, I have misplaced all my bookmarks.  But, I have several cards made from my husband, David's, paintings.  One of them is of a graveyard, so cards in this set have never been given away.  It just doesn't seem right to send someone a card featuring a graveyard.  Especially if it's a birthday card for an older friend. But it's a perfect bookmark for Hour of the Witch.

What Was Your Favorite 4th of July?

 

This morning I looked up the 4th of July blog postings I've written about over the decades.  I've seen fantastic, over the top, Disney extravaganzas. 

And here where I live in Central Florida, I've seen our Red, Hot and Boom display that draws around 200,000 people.  But we can see it from where I live.  Some years I've watched it from the lake, some years while swimming in the pool.  

And I love the Boston Pops and all that patriotic music.  

But, below is my very favorite 4th of July event ever.

***

On July 4th, 1976 my husband, Ken, was invited to take part in the swearing in ceremony for brand new Americans.

This was in Fort Lauderdale in the middle of summer. The auditorium had no air conditioning. I envisioned a dozen immigrants standing in front of the judge, answering his questions and Ken offering a blessing.

Boom, we're done! Now everybody to the beach.

But, no, it wasn't like that. The auditorium was jammed with people, mostly Cubans. Many of them had experienced tremendous peril coming to the U.S. Almost every person carried an American flag.

We sang patriotic songs and when the time came for swearing in, hundreds of people came forward.

The judge gave a speech about how fortunate all of us in the room were to be living in the United States of America.

After the swearing in there was wild waving of flags, hugging, crying, laughing and singing.

Along with the other nationalities, hundreds of men and woman arrived as Cubans and left as Cuban Americans.

I was moved beyond measure.

***

A Story About My Dad

 Last Sunday was Father's Day and I thought I would try to remember some warm stories about my dad.  But I had none. 

He wasn't an abusive parent.  He was a man who could barely cope with his own life, much less finding himself a single father of two small children.  

Born in 1910, he was immediately abandoned by his mother.  An elderly couple took him in for a few years but he mostly grew up on his own.  At a very young age he was hired as a caddy at a prestigious golf course in French Lick, Indiana.  French Lick is still a posh resort area. 

It's where this photo was taken.  He looks like a cute, well-to-do child but, in truth, he was destitute and alone in the world.  I have no idea what kind of education, if any, he had.  He was mysterious.  He was a loner.  

He married my mother and, shortly after having two children, first me, then my brother Paul, it was discovered that my mother had tuberculosis.  She spent seven years in sanatorium prior to her death. I never really knew her. 

My dad worked as a laundry/dry cleaner person.  We had no car so he left early and came home late.  Paul and I were latch-key kids before than term had been invented.  

All of the above information is help you understand how counterintuitive the story below is:

During World War II, my dad ran the laundry at Fort Benjamin Harrison in Indianapolis. While it's not well known,  nearly 425,000 prisoners of war were sent to detention camps in the U.S.  Fort Harrison served as one of those camps.  It housed German and Italian prisoners of war.  

One of the German prisoners was assigned to my dad at the laundry.  For whatever reasons, they became fast friends and remained so even after "Oscar" was reassigned. 

There came a time when Fort Harrison became a site for an Army Disciplinary Barracks, a prison compound for American servicemen convicted of offenses by the military court system.  Army regulations did not allow POW camps in the same military installation that housed Army prisoners, so the POW camp was closed and the German prisoners, including Oscar,  moved to Fort Knox. 

However, Oscar and my dad stayed in touch and when the war was over, my dad petitioned to allow Oscar to begin the process of allowing him to remain in this country and work toward citizenship.  

And, after several years, it happened.  I remembered the day they were reunited.  Prior to that, I don't remember my dad ever being as happy as he was to see Oscar walk up to our front porch. 

***

The Shootest 1976

 

Who would image that I'd come across a movie that emphasizes two of my favorite topics. 

- End of life issues 

- Living like a true Christian when the going gets tough.   

Last week I saw an interview with Ron Howard.  He was asked about his encounter with John Wayne when they were filming "The Shootist" in 1976.

Yesterday I watched it again.  And I loved it.  Again.

The time and place:  It's set in 1906 in Carson City, Nevada.  This is not the dusty, one street town we're used to seeing in westerns,  This Carson City has electricity, running water, telephones, lovely homes and a trolley.  Think of a western version of "Meet Me in St. Louis." 

The Premise:  A former sheriff and famous gunslinger discovers he's riddled with cancer and dying.  He chooses to do it in Carson City. 

John Wayne:  This was Wayne's last movie.  He died from cancer three years after it was finished.  A life long heavy smoker, Wayne had already had a lung removed in 1964.  Knowing this was his last certainly made the movie much more poignant.  Playing a man like J. B. Books is the way we'd expect Wayne to go, with guns blazing.

 

However, there is very little violence in this film.  It's a controlled and intelligent performance. 

Lauren Bacall:  She plays, Bond Rogers, a widow who rents rooms in her lovely home.  She rents a room to Books.  Throughout the movie she treats Books with kindness and respect.  Unlike her other renters who move because they can't be seen living in the same house with a famous gunslinger, thereby making it difficult for her to to keep afloat.  She continues to treat him with loving kindness. She's a Christian woman, but she's not pious.  She's a servant, like we should be when we're around suffering people.  She doesn't judge him.  

(And they'll know we are Christian by our love, by our love.  Yeah, they'll know we are Christian by our love.) 

The time she helps Books out of the bathtub is an example.  Believe me, when you've been strong and in charge your entire life, it's hard when we must make ourselves this vulnerable and accept this help.  

Ron Howard:  He plays Bond's teenaged son, Gillum.  He's a drinking, swearing (but good) kid.  At the end of the movie we have to accept that Opie (Oops, I mean Gillum) will most likely be a gunslinger like Books.  Or maybe not. 

Jimmy Stewart:  He has a small role as a doctor.  In the beginning Books travels to Carson City to have the doctor, an old friend, confirm the diagnosis he'd previously been given.  The doctor tells Books just how excruciating the next few weeks will be.  

This is a western, but with much deeper themes.  Books is vulnerable.  It's a controlled and intelligent performance.  A fitting tribute to John Wayne.  And I'm impressed  he would choose this as his final film. 

I saw it on YouTube for free.  

***  

I Love Florida

 I truly do love Florida.  However, every single day there is so much crazy to write about.  Years ago, I occasionally wrote "Florida Man" stories.  When the newspaper headlines began with "Florida man....",  I knew it was gonna be a doozy.  And then, eventually, the term was used often and many times much better than me, illustrating our wacky behavior from time to time. 

Besides our own Scott Maxwell, the writer who did this best has been, in my book, Fred Grimm.  Fred has been a Fort Lauderdale resident and columnist for the Sun Sentinel for many decades.  But, today, in our own Orlando Sentinel, he announced he was hanging it up.  

Below is the first paragraph of his column.  I hope you enjoy it and will find the article and read all of it.  You will be impressed. 

So long. 

Not that it hasn't been fun chronicling Florida's descent into a waterlogged, python-infested, uninsurable, hurricane-pummeled, book-banning, gay-bashing authoritarian dystopia, but I'm outta here. 

As you know, I wrote a book a while back titled Florida, A Love Story.  The story starts in 1884 and lets us know immediately how hard it was to live in Florida.  Maybe that's partially why we're so zany to this very day.  

For the dedication, on page 3, I chose to write this:

To all of you who love Florida, 

    - from the panhandle which we lovingly call the Redneck Riviera, to Key West, where we can enter an Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest or celebrate Fantasy Fest where anything goes

    - for those who love our flora and fauna our swamp lands and woods, our indigenous wildlife, and work to keep them flourishing

    -for those who love our warm winters, including our visitors from all over the world who make our lives richer in various ways

    - for those who love our hot summers, especially those of us who love to swim in our beautiful pools and enjoy our 825 miles of breathtakingly beautiful beaches

    - for my family and friends who are there for me, winter and summer, in good times and bad,

I dedicate this book, Florida, A Love Story. 

    ***

Why Not Go Gentle?

 

Dylan Thomas was a Welsh poet and writer.  Born in Uplands, United Kingdom in 1914, he's currently experiencing new fame by being referenced in Taylor Swift's current tour, "The Tortured Poets Department."  

His most famous poem was: 

Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night.  

Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 

I think it's sad that many old, sick people feel this way and it's even sadder that young Thomas felt this way.   Old age can be joyful if we let it.  No raging needed. 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words have forked no lightening they Do no go gentle into that good night. 

Thomas uses light as a symbol for life, but not death.  Even though he knows the unstoppable nature of death, he still suggests that we fight to the end.  

My husband, Ken, kind of did this.  Even though he was a strong believer in the afterlife, he raged and suffered more than necessary.  In his last years, when he had some dementia, he often used the phrase from his high school and college football career, "Put me in the game, Coach," whenever his doctors wanted to try one more thing. 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright,  Their frail deeds might have drank in a green bay,  Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 

I'm 85 and, even though I have health issues, I don't rage - don't care to rage.  My life is full.  Why would I make myself and everyone around me miserable by raging?  It makes no sense. I want to be gentle. 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,  Do not go gentle into that good night. 

Thomas references good men, wild men, and grave men.  I think he's talking about people in various stages of life.  Thomas was grieving the death of his father.  But Thomas would live only another two years and die at age 39, apparently from alcoholism.  He did not feel good about the life he'd led. 

I've led a hard life but, now that I am old, the fruits of that life are flowing all around me.  No need to rage.  

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight  Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,  Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 

I have had the honor of being with several people who were in the final stages of life.  I don't remember one of them raging.  In fact, it seems to me that most of them were content.  And that includes my husband, Ken at the end.  As you know, I follow Hospice Nurse Julie (who has a book coming out in June.)  She has chronicled many, many deaths.  The vast majority have been beautiful. 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,  Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 

Thomas suggests we rage because we live empty lives.  If that be true, many of us still have time to turn that around if we really want to.  And this is what I believe:  The real "light," according to Hospice Nurse Julie and the vast majority of other people I know, is on the other side.

*** 

 

       

 

On the Beach

A few days ago I shared the first of my summer disaster movies, Contagion 2011.  That's eight years before COVID hit us.  So, in addition to being entertaining, the film, for me, took on new revalance. 

Next up is On the Beach.  Made in 1959,  it is one of my all time favorites.  And it has taken on new

relevance due to the recent blockbuster Oppenheimer.

No, On the Beach is not about college kids in Fort Lauderdale.  It's about how atomic war wipes out humanity.  First, in the Northern Hemisphere.

And it's a terrific love story with a great cast, despite the fact that every single person in the world dies.

Trust me. 

Gregory Peck plays his  Atticus Finch part, only as a submarine captain in Australia, whose wife and children have died in the U.S.  We knew this because, and I remind you, when the movie opens every person in the Northern Hemisphere is dead. Peck struggles with his emotions and falls in love, but continues to follow his moral code to the end.

Ava Gardner plays an Australian who's a bit of a floozy (as she did in many rolls) but is truly in love with Peck. 

Anthony Perkins does his Anthony Perkins thing.  He's very sad, especially when he has to convince his wife, along with their baby, to take her suicide  pills.  

Fred Astaire is in a surprise roll.  In real life he was 60 years old when he made the film. He looks older.  No dancing.  He plays a cynical scientist who knows the score about what's happened in the Northern Hemisphere and what will soon happen in the Southern Hemisphere.  I loved him in this part.

If you watch On the Beach, don't be put off by the song Waltzing Matilda.  Just go with it....because it's played in the background throughout the entire film.  Honestly, it's a feel good movie.

Trust me. 

I saw On the Beach on YouTube for free.

***

  
 

Contagion 2011

   

Imagine yourself in a world wide pandemic.  No, wait....you've just been in one! 

 For this summer, I've decided to watch a few older disaster films.  I chose Contagion 2011 to watch yesterday. This film is loaded with stars like Gwyneth Paltrow, Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Lawerence Fishbourne, Marion Cotillard and Bryan Cranston.

One of the reviewers of Contagion 2011 wrote, If something like this did ever happen, I shutter to contemplate the societal ramifications.

My reaction to the movie was far different from the first time I saw it.  Who would have guessed that a mire 8 years later, 2019, we would experience COVID, a virus that began in China and eventually killed a million people in the United States alone. 

Contagion 2011 was a tale about an untreatable super virus rapidly spreading across the world.  

Another reviewer wrote after watching the film, I found myself wanting to bathe in a gallon of hand sanitizer.  In real life, I felt like I was drowning myself in a bucket of hand sanitizer.  Every day.

It's doubtful anyone took the movie seriously.  After all, Gwyneth Paltrow coughed in Hong Kong, headed home to Minneapolis, but with a five hour layover in Chicago to meet an old boyfriend.  And a few weeks later people were dropping like flies.  That's just silly, right?

Lawrence Fishbourne plays the Dr. Fauci role, only nine years before Dr Fauci played it in real life.

There are many heroes in this film and a few troublemakers.  Fewer than we had in real life.  And there were no deniers.  What was happening was too real to be denied.  

I saw this film on YouTube for free. 

*** 

Are You Crazy? The Fall Will Probably Kill Ya

 

Remember the quote above from the film Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?  

The Kid was afraid to jump off a cliff because he couldn't swim.  But, even though he jumped and the fall didn't kill him, statistically, Butch was correct.

According to the CDC:

Falls are the leading cause of fatal injuries among older adults.

About twelve years ago, I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease. It's a miserable illness and all I wanted to do was lie on the couch.  But, I knew that wasn't the answer.  I tried several balancing classes recommended by my medical team, but they didn't work for me.  

Then Betsy, the parish nurse at my church, recommended a class led by a woman named Claudia.  It was different.  She had the same philosophy I did.  It sounds counterintuitive but, for most of us oldies, it's truly a "use it or lose it" situation.

Falls are the leading cause of fatal injuries among older adults.

For most of us, sitting on the couch is not the answer. Claudia was all about staying strong and exercising, no matter how bad we felt.  She had great tips, like reminding us that it's more dangerous to walk downstairs than upstairs because we tend to fall forward.  

There was an old lady in a wheelchair the class.  Her daughter would wheel her in and return later to pick her up.  After a couple of sessions, Claudia had this woman standing for most of our activities. 

On the third day she was sitting in a regular folding chair when her daughter arrived.  The daughter was obviously upset to see her mom not in her wheelchair and was trying to pick her up.

From across the room, Claudia called to the daughter, "Leave her alone.  She can transfer to the wheelchair by herself."

And she did. 

Falls are the leading cause of fatal injuries among older adults. 

Falls happen everywhere, including hospitals.  Especially hospitals!

The best remedy is not to stay in bed.  It's to, as best we can, move!  Of course we need to be careful, but we need to move.  Every day.  If you're afraid and don't feel well and your loved ones want you to sit or lie down 24-7, just remember this:

The Barcalounger will probably kill ya!

***

Toodlers and Puppies

 My adorable great granddaughter recently had a third birthday party.  While I wasn't there, this reminded me of a posting I wrote a few years ago about the growing popularity of doggie birthday parties.  

After researching the article, I kept thinking about how the suggestions would work for both toddlers and puppies. Here are a few.

     - Have the party in a fenced yard - with the emphasis on the word "fenced."  Imagine having a doggie birthday party in the house.   Now imagine having the same party for 1 to 3 year olds.  It's the same image, right?  But don't try the yard party without a fence because herding dogs and toddlers is like, well, herding dogs and toddlers.

     - Have a responsible adult accompany each dog or toddler - no drop offs!  The article suggests the dogs should be leashed upon arriving until they get to know each other.  While this is might be a good idea for some toddlers as well, I'm not recommending it.

     - Crates available for dogs who might need "alone time."  OK this is not going to work for the kids for the same reason as the leash idea.  My daughter tells me they used to have a big comfy chair, blanket and cuddly stuffed toy available for a weepy or unhappy children.  Her husband, greeting kids at the door, would text her "potential cryer in foyer." 

     - Costumes - The dog party experts suggest having plenty of props for photo ops like bow ties or tiaras and party hats.  The toddlers might like these as well.  But nothing scary for either group.  That can cause all kinds of repercussions.    

     - Doggie Bags:  The dog experts suggest tennis balls and dog-friendly baked treats.  This could work for both groups. Of course you should give the wee children appropriate treats. Just because they like doggie treats is not a good reason to provide them. 

     - Games:  The recommendation for dogs is "bobbing for hot dogs."  Don't do this with toddlers!  They are notorious for choking on hot dogs.  Besides, many moms today think of hot dogs as the next thing to poison. 

The other game suggestion is non toxic, big bubbles.  "Dogs try to chomp them in the air, it's hysterical ."  This would work for both groups.

The article ends by saying "Luckily, dogs don't know or care how much you spend."  This is true for toddlers as well.  



***

The God Particle

 Peter Higgs died last week at age 94.  He was a Nobel prize-winning physicist.  In 1964 he theorized there must be a subatomic particle that would explain how the stars and planets acquired their mass.  It wasn't until 2012 the particle was confirmed.

Maybe you're thinking "so what?"

This particle is known as the Higgs boson and without it, the universe we know and love could not exist.  Hence the nickname:  The God Particle.

It helps scientists understand one of the most fundamental riddles of the universe: How the Big Bang created something out of nothing 13.8 billion years ago.  

I don't want to brag, but I already knew about the Higgs boson theory.  That's because, for years, I was a fan of The Bib Bang Theory.  Even the lyrics to the show's theme song give us an exciting explanation of how we got here.  But it doesn't give us a reason for how we got here.

On the show, theoretical physicist Sheldon Cooper explained the Higgs boson theory several times.  But the best one was first aired on January 19, 2010 where he tried to explain the theory while playing Pictionary with Penny.  She, of course, didn't get it. 

But my favorite explanation was given by Young Sheldon on the second season of that show, April 22, 2022.  Sheldon, who is a little severn year old genius, is frightened because his mother, after experiencing a tragedy, is depressed and questioning her faith. 

She tells Sheldon "Faith is something that you can't know for sure is real." 

He was trying to let her know that the beginning of "everything" wasn't by chance. "What are the odds that it would happen all by itself?"  

 It was the God Particle.

***

Babie's Rights

 

Have you ever seen a two week old baby with a broken arm?  I have.  How about shaking baby syndrome?  What about a baby born to drug addicted parents who drug the baby to get it to sleep? 

Have you ever seen a child who had never seen a book prior to kindergarten? I have. And almost every public school kindergarten teacher has. 

In central Florida there used to be a huge billboard with adorable, chubby babies all over it.  Every time I saw it I thought some of the babies should have black eyes or body casts.  Because that's reality.

If you're having high feelings in the current political climate, here's something you can do.  Buy diapers, lots of them, for parents you know are short on cash.  Diapers are expensive.  They are also a trigger for spouse abuse, and, even if the baby isn't directly abused, wearing a soiled diaper for 24 hours can cause considerable harm over time, not to mention the excuiating pain the baby endures. 

FOLLOWING IS A POSTING FROM 2015

Today marks the 42nd anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. But (as you know if you know me) I don't discuss abortion. 

What I do discuss - and feel passionately about - is birth control.  I am for it.  I am for women and girls having children only when they want to and choose to.  I am for healthy moms and babies around the world.  While I am not a fan of promiscuous sex, I am also not a fan of pregnancy as a punishment for having sex. 

In this respect, I am a big fan of Melinda Gates.  She and her husband are giving away billions to help people all over the globe in eradicating scourges like HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis - but Melinda's special passion is birth control.  She wants to cut world wide child mortality in half. 

Not much research has been done in the contraceptive area in the last 20 years but Melinda says that one day we might have a contraceptive that would dissolve, like a breath mint melts in your mouth, though it would be inserted elsewhere.  Or an implant in your arm that lasts three to five years.

Melinda Gates was raised a Catholic.  I don't know how she relates to her faith at this time.  But even Pope Francis, while he did reaffirm the Catholic Church's stance on contraception, just told us last week that we females "don't have to breed like rabbits."

Thank you Pope Francis.  That's good news.


***

Stand Up Comics

 

As most of you who read this blog know, I love stand up comics. And I love it when some I've listened to over the decades, while I walk, have become superstars.  

For example, three of them, Nate Bargatze, Sebastian Maniuscalco and Leanne Morgan. after sharing brutal honesty about themselves, and then exaggerating it all out of proportion, until it's hysterical, for a couple of decades, are now in the superstar category.  

When I first started watching Nate, he presented himself as naive and lazy.  He's now super famous but the persona remains.

When I first started listing to Sebastian, I thought his father was a mobster.  

Leanne is the epitome of a southern girl.  She uses demeaning words to describe people, like "little."  "My little momma and daddy."  But this is common in the south and we're all in on the joke.  She tells outrageous stories about her husband and family.  She rarely laughs.  She has a perfect stare when she's sharing her bad times.  One of her later tours was called her "Big Pantie Tour."  Every woman of a certain age can understand what that's all about. 

Now, about me.  I'm coping with a few health issues.  I have a UTI that won't quit.  For those of you under 60, this is a Urinary Track Infection.  They can do a number on old people, women and men.  I have test strips that let me know when it's visiting (again.)  But don't get nervous, I won't share any further. 

But I will share on of Leanne's bits.  These are not her words, but it is one of the stories she tells about herself.  She had two little tiny children and a traveling husband.  And she missed her period.  So she gathered up her little ones and drove to Walmart to get a pregnancy test.  After buying it she took the children into the restroom stall with her to use it.  Then looked at it with that perfect stare.  Her three year old son said, "Is it positive?"  

I think about Leeane every time I use my UTI strip.  

All three of these super successful "newcomers" who've been doing stand up for several decades, have specials on Netflix. 

***

My Current Problems with Barbie and Ken

 First off, I have not seen the Barbie movie.  But every person in the universe knows about it and the billions of dollars it's earned. 

Also, it's important to remind you that I've had a difficult time with Barbie, the doll, over the decades she's been around. I have previously written about my Barbie woes in this blog. 

Back to the movie, even with the rave reviews, there are those who have said that it emasculated Ken,  I don't know how that could happen to "Ken," but that's not my current concern. 

My concern is this:  Margot Robbie was Barbie.  Issa Rae was another Barbie.  Kate McKinnon was a third Barbie.  Greta Gerwig directed.  As far as I know, all of these people are intelligent women.  Unlike the doll, they are successful humans who know how to speak.

So here's my problem.  All I saw on Oscar night was Ken. His Marilyn Monroe inspired musical number has been, and still is, all over YouTube.  I look at Facebook once a day. He's all over it as well, sometimes as Ken, sometimes talking about Ken and sometimes using his other persona, Ryan Gosling.  Yes, I think Ryan Gosling is funny and smart and fantastic to look at.

But, seriously, don't these women have some things to say?

When my niece sent this cartoon it made me think of Ken mansplaining the Barbie movie.

***

Good Friday

Diana Nyad

 When I was growing up in the 1940s, Good Friday was a very different experience, whether you were Christian or not.  

From noon to 3:00 P.M., everything closed down.  Restaurants, stores, offices, all closed in respect for the perceived time Jesus hung on the cross.  

Lent,  the 40 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter,  has traditionally been a time of introspection for me.  I am not a religious talker so I don't usually share my introspectiveness, but it is there and it is meaningful to me. 

So, for Holy Week, and especially today, Good Friday, I want to be solemn much of the time and contemplate what my life is all about and what the next chapter will look like.

It's easy to get distracted by other things and people I love, and knowing how blessed I am.  

So, what to do?

You may find this offensive, but what put me in the proper frame of mind was watching the torturous movie, NYAD on Netflix.  The movie stars Annette Bening as Diana Nyad, who, in 2013, at age 64, swam from Cuba to Key West without a protective cage.  She covered the 103 miles in 53 hours,  

The movie has received positive reviews but I found it to be almost more than I could bare.   Am I comparing what Diana Nyad achieved to Jesus dying on the cross for our sins?  No.  Am I seeing a person who chose to undergo a truly torturous journey (after four earlier attempts)? Yes.  

And it helped me stay focused on what Good Friday is all about.  I just heard the following quote a few minutes ago.  It speaks to me. 

Embrace the darkness of Good Friday.  

***