I spent much of my life putting up a very strong front. I couldn't handle being vulnerable. I had great difficulty accepting help. I know many people who've done the same thing.
This morning's church service was good in so many ways. The theme for this month has been has been on targeting five emotions, Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, all based on the Pixar film "Inside Out."
Today we dealt with anger. As I looked around I saw a couple of friends who I know have anger issues about what's happening in their lives.
We get in trouble when we refuse to accept reality. It makes us feel angry and impotent.
Below is a parable taken from one of David Seaman's books. It describes me in my younger life.
DON'T TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL - PLEASE!
The scene didn't make sense. There he lay in the street bleeding; the hit and run driver gone. He needed medical help immediately. Yet, he kept pleading. "Don't take me to the hospital, please"
Surprised, everyone asked, "Why?"
Pleadingly he answered, "Because I am on the staff at the hospital. It would be embarrassing for them to see me like this. They have never seen me bleeding and dirty. ...I am a mess."
But the hospital is for people like you. Can't we call an ambulance?"
"No, please don't...the admissions clerk would be upset...she always gets upset if anyone from admittance doesn't have all the details she needs to fill our her records. I didn't see who hit me, and I don't even know the make of the car or license number. - Just pull me over to the curb.
With this he tried to crawl to the gutter while everyone left him alone. Maybe he is still there.
Are you good at binding up other peoples wounds but angry and secretive about your own? Over the last few years I've finally been able to evidence some humility and ask for help. And it has changed my life immeasurably.
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