I gave it up for two reasons. First, the "Florida Man" meme was introduced so it keeps us abreast of the weird and wonderful stories that make us Floridians unique. And there is now a TV series titled "Florida Man Murders."
The theme for the TV show is murder but the more frequent stories are about us regular folks doing really wacky and stupid things. And it's more interesting if they're naked. Not for any sexual reason, but just because Floridians like to take off their clothes in public. And it's not just Florida men. For instance, I once wrote about the county cracking down on squatters. A policeman knocked on the door of a suspected squatter. A naked woman opened the door. There was a scuffle and the cop had to call for backup. This was a perfect example of my "Why I Love Florida" series.
But the second and more important reason I stopped writing about them is because, in the end, they are almost all sad stories of sad people making wacky, horrible decisions (usually inspired by drugs) that have life-long repercussions.
All this being said.....I can't resist sharing the following story that appeared in the Orlando Sentinel a week or so ago about a happening in my little community, Altamonte Springs.
Police were called to a small market where they found the sales clerk shirtless and covered in blood. He told the cops that a man came into the store upset about a transaction that had transpired earlier in the day. The man started to pull something out of his pocket, but, fortunately, the clerk had a weapon. Unfortunately, his weapon was a machete. And, unfortunately, the clerk injured himself with it while trying to defend himself with it. The fight lasted several minutes and involved crashing into the portable ice cream machine. At some point the customer's brother ran into the store and things got worse.
All three men were taken to the hospital for treatment and all were released. The man and his brother are at the county jail on a $35,000 bond.
As it turns out, the argument was about a bag of chips.
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