Sometimes I feel a little crazy. But it passes.
The other evening I watched a really old episode of Law & Order, way before Sam Waterston portraying Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy showed us his cranky, righteous indignation. This was back when Michael Moriaty played D.A. Ben Stone and showed us his cranky righteous indignation.
This was the episode where this old lady's granddaughter was charged with murder for killing her grandma to get her cool apartment or (as she claimed) assisting grandma's suicide.
Anyway, grandma was depicted as being so ancient that she had no quality of life whatsoever - and had no friends because they were all dead.
Grandma was 82 - my age. Lying in my bed all by myself I laughed out loud.
But, I was forced to do some additional soul searching. As you know, I am obsessed with the aging process and quality of life. I sometimes do some crazy stuff, and forget some important stuff. I also have a chronic illness. I've had to give up things but I've exchanged them for other things I'm free to do (like watching Law & Order marathons.)
There are so many people I love and things I care about that I can't image not wanting to be here.
And, while there are a few people of all ages in my life who've died and left me doleful, most friends and family who are close to my age are living important lives - like I am.
One time, a few years back (when I was only in my seventies,) I was leading a class of older folks. A couple in the room who were nearing the 100 year mark had just moved to an assisted living facility. The man stood up to say that they were pleased at how active the residents were in their new home.
He said that most of those in their 90s were doing all kinds of interesting things and "giving back." Then added, and of course, folks in their 80s were as well - but you'd expect them to be active.
Exactly!
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