Cooking With the Anal Retentive Chef

 

In the late 1980s Phil Hartman was a cast member on Saturday Night Live.  He introduced some great characters, like The Caveman Lawyer and Bill Clinton at McDonalds.

But my favorites were his "Anal Retentive" skits.  He was an anal retentive fisherman who was super well organized and kept his uniformly cut bait in separate baggies, etc.  But he never got around to fishing.  He was an anal retentive carpenter who had his tool belt perfectly organized and alphabetized.  But my favorite was "Cooking with the Anal Retentive Chef."  

This guy loved plastic bags and aluminum foil.  In this photo he's holding up some celery he's just sliced but discovered that a few of the pieces weren't perfect so he had to throw them away.  He did this by sealing them in a baggie and wrapping the baggie in aluminum foil, then placing all that in a brown paper bag that he secured with scotch tape.  But then he discovered the bag had a little tear so he had to start over, but, of course,  his time was up so he never got around to cooking.  

Why am I telling you this?

I think about him often when I'm preparing my meals.  Yesterday I had my favorite, a cookie sheet meal consisting of two chicken wings, potatoes, onions and carrots.  After I got this all assembled and in the oven, I clean the kitchen, using the plastic baggie the chicken was wrapped in for the residue of onion skins and potato peelings.  After I'd eaten I scraped the chicken bones, etc. back on to the foil lined cookie sheet and carefully folded it for the garbage.  

All the while I'm thinking that I have become the Anal Retentive Chef.  And I don't feel so bad about it.  Why would I do this at my age and stage?  Because I can.  And it makes me happy.  

It's difficult to find Youtube videos of Phil Hartman.  Possibly because he died tragically while he was at the top of his game.  His wife killed him and then killed herself.   We all can relate to messy, tragic, out of control parts of our lives but  at this age and stage I'm just grateful for all of the things I can keep  neat and tidy. 

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Returning Home

 

After watching church from my couch this Sunday morning, I was feeling inspired, once more, by the message and the music.   But somehow wanting more, I watched one of my favorite movies O Brother, Where Art Thou?

This is probably my third time to see it in the 20 years it's been out.  Produced and directed by the great Coen brothers, Ethan and Joel, this film is their take on the epic poem, Homer's The Odyssey.  

I wish I could tell you I've read Homer's version but, even though I gave it a few tries and failed, I have read enough cliff notes to get the drift.

Homer's Odysseus and the Coen Brothers' Ulysses Everett McGill (played by George Clooney) are trying to get "home," whatever that means to them - and whatever that means to us.  

Like this morning's worship service, the message and old timey music in O Brother... are outstanding.  

Homer, author of The Odyssey,  was said to be blind. The Odyssey's message is that life's journey is filled with obstacles.   In the early part of  O Brother,  words of wisdom come in the beginning of the film from a blind railroad worker: You seek a great fortune, you who are in chains.  You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.  

This, to me, is the entire message for all of us.  The movie portrays this in a totally entertaining,  sometimes happy, sometime, sad, sometimes terrifying, always funny, music filled story.  You know, sort of like mine - and possibly yours.  

I love every little adventure they encounter on their way, even the hard ones.  I love "the sirens" luring them into seduction.  I love the grace that comes from unexpected places.  I love that Clooney's character, who was a delightful, self centered con artist, in the end truly repents.

The critics were divided when this movie came out.  After reading several reviews my take on that is that many of them just didn't get it.  I hope you will watch it again, or for the first time, and see what you think.  You can find it on Amazon Prime.

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Does Getting Old Make You Crazy?

Sometimes I feel a little crazy.  But it passes.

The other evening I watched a really old episode of Law & Order, way before Sam Waterston portraying Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy showed us his cranky, righteous indignation.  This was back when Michael Moriaty played D.A. Ben Stone and showed us his cranky righteous indignation.

This was the episode where this old lady's granddaughter was charged with murder for killing her grandma to get her cool apartment or (as she claimed) assisting grandma's suicide.  

Anyway, grandma was depicted as being so ancient that she had no quality of life whatsoever - and had no friends because they were all dead.  

Grandma was 82 - my age.  Lying in my bed all by myself I laughed out loud. 

But, I was forced to do some additional soul searching.  As you know, I am obsessed with the aging process and quality of life.  I sometimes do some crazy stuff,  and forget some important stuff.  I also have a chronic illness.  I've had to give up things but I've exchanged them for other things I'm free to do (like watching Law & Order marathons.)

There are so many people I love and things I care about that I can't image not wanting to be here.  

And, while there are a few people of all ages in my life who've died and left me doleful,  most friends and family who are close to my age  are living important lives - like I am. 

One time, a few years back (when I was only in my seventies,) I was leading a class of older folks.  A couple in the room who were nearing the 100 year mark had just moved to an assisted living facility.  The man stood up to say that they were pleased at how active the residents were in their new home.

He said that most of those in their 90s were doing all kinds of interesting things and "giving back."  Then added, and of course, folks in their 80s were as well - but you'd expect them to be active. 

Exactly!

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Was Dr. Seuss a Racist?

 

So, after my last post referencing Dr. Seuss and The Jax, it was reported that a Virginia school district decided to bar Dr, Seuss for being "racist?"  

And then, a day later, that information was debunked.   Dr. Seuss was an enormously successful writer of children's books.  He was, and is, beloved by millions.  

When my kids were growing up we read Dr. Seuss almost daily.  I memorized a few of his books like "One Fish, Two Fish," just by endlessly reading them to the kids.

Later on, I occasionally used Dr. Seuss poems in business meetings to make a point, as I did in the blog posting below.  One of my very favorites was The Sneetches.  It dealt with elitism, and more importantly, racism, and how we allow society to rope us in.   

Now the Star-Belly Sneetches Had bellies with stars.

The Plain-Belly Sneetches, Had none upon thars. 

This engendered discussions about how we look and what we'll do to be included in an elite circle, where others are clearly not included.  In the Sneetches story someone comes on the scene with a solution - for a price, of course.   

Then quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean, Put together a very peculiar machine.

And he said, 'You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch...? My friends you can have them for three dollars each!

And, of course, chaos ensues.  Mr McMonkey Mcbean, makes piles and piles of money with, first, his star on machine and then later, his star off machine. And then he skips town.

But, in the end, the Sneetches wise up and decide they've been misled.:

And no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches

That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars, And whether they had one, or not, upon tears. 

To me, the The Sneetches is all about inclusion, even while segments of society are constantly pushing us toward exclusion. Why?  For Mr. McBean, it was profit.  But there are many sad and sinister reasons. 

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