Santa Fe, New Mexico

Old Santa Fe

Except for California and a short trip to Seattle, I've never been out west.    I tend to think of the southwest as mostly rough and rugged.  But I know that's not all it is.  We have several fancy friends who love Santa Fe and a special couple who moved there a few years ago who would never be described as rough and rugged.  He's an artist and she's a concert pianist.  I don't picture them rolling along with the tumble weeds.

From time to time I've told you about how much I love the column in The New Yorker Magazine called "Shouts and Murmurs."  It's written by different folks but always weird and sometime makes me laugh out loud and sometimes, to me, isn't funny at all - just weird.

In the July 7th issue Shouts and Murmurs" is written by one of my favorites, Jack Handey.  His piece is called "Tales of Old Santa Fe." I absolutely know that some folks have read it and think it's just weird.   I think it's hysterical.

It's a series of little vignettes (tales) about (not so very) Old Santa Fe:

The first is about a bartender who wants to do something different in his Mexican restaurant so he decides to sell fifteen-dollar margaritas.  So he does and they're a big hit.  Sold ...faster'n hotcakes.

OK, if you don't think that's funny stop reading right here. 

Another one is about a guy who was having trouble selling his 2 acre lot in "Old Santa Fe" for one million dollars.  A "mysterious stranger" pointed out that the lot had some problems and convinced the seller to lower his price to eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars.  It sold immediately.

Jack Handey is one fine and funny writer.  Buy one of his books and you'll be hooked.  Here's his last little story about "Old Santa Fe:"

THE TALE OF ALI MACGRAW

   Seems there was a rumor going 'round that Ali MacGraw was going to move out of Santa Fe.  A contingent from the mayor's office showed up at her door.
   "Ali, we heard you might be moving out of town," said the mayor.  "Please don't do it.  Before you came here, Santa Fe wasn't fit for women or children."

   "Don't worry, Mayor, I ain't a-goin' nowheres,"  said Ali.  "But, tell me, who started this dang-fool rumor?"
   "Alan Arkin," said the mayor. 
   The next time Ali saw Arkin, she threw a shot of whiskey in his face.  Arkin drew the derringer he always carries, but Ali slapped it out of his hand. 
   To this day, when folks see Ali on the street, they make the motion of someone throwing whiskey in some else's face.

Here are some things I'd like to do:  Read more Jack Handey, take a trip with Dave to see Santa Fe and maybe visit our friends and some art galleries and maybe have a fifteen-dollar margarita - and maybe spot Ali MacGraw.


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