I Married Myself

Opposites attract.  When I was young I married a man very different from myself.  We complimented each other in many ways.  As I used to say to folks in relationship seminars, "If we did only the things I want to do we wouldn't have any fun.  If we did only the things he wants to do we'd be in jail."

This kind of relationship works pretty well for most folks as long as we don't forget why we fell in love in the first place.  (Remember the Broadway play, "I Love You, You're Perfect:  Now Change!")

As you know, Dave and I married very late in life.  A whole new ballgame. 

Yesterday we were sitting on the couch in our p j's reading the paper when I noticed the big school clock on the wall wasn't working.  So I got out my little stool, climbed up on it and began to wrestle the clock down.  Dave said, "What are you doing?  I'll do that.  That's my job!"

Then to make matters worse, when we later went to the crowded Olive Garden for soup and salad and couldn't find a close parking place, Dave said "I'll drop you off so you won't have to walk!"

WHAT?????

Here's the issue.  Dave and I each had distinct roles in our long happy first marriages.  That's a good thing.  But the problem is, we had the same role.  I was the one who repaired things around the house.  I was the one who dropped others off and then parked the car. 

I'm sure we'll work it out.  I just have to deal with the fact that, this time, in many ways,  I married myself.

No wonder I love him so much.


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Movies About Movies

 We watched the Oscars last night along with about a billion other people.  Not many surprises.  I would have chosen "The Descendants" or " Midnight in Paris" for best picture - but that's just me.

The dresses were stunning, of course.  Lots of talk today about Angelina's leg and Ja-Lo's chest. 

But I was thinking most today about how many movies are made about movies.  And how many of them have been nominated for Oscars.  The answer to both questions is "a lot." 

For instances, two of the movies nominated for best picture last night are about movies.  The "Artist," of course won.  But "Hugo" has a movie theme.  Michelle Williams and Kenneth Branagh were both nominated for their movie "My Week with Marilyn" which is about Marilyn Monroe making a movie called "The Prince and the Show Girl."

Following are a few of my favorite movies about movies.  Unfortunately "The Artist" isn't among them.

- "Singin' in the Rain"  - as you know from past blogs, this is my favorite.

- "Sunset Boulevard" - creepy but a great story.

- "The Bad and the Beautiful" - Kurt Douglas and Lana Turner.

- "The Purple Rose of Cairo" - Jeff  Daniels comes off the screen and into the theater.  Cool.

- "Blazing Saddles" - beyond description.


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A Dangerous Method

A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist.
- Sigmund Freud

Dave and I saw the movie, "A Dangerous Method" a while back.  Don't feel bad if you have heard of it.  It's not a mainstream movie. 

It's basically about early days of psychoanalysis and the love/hate relationship between Carl Jung and his mentor Sigmund Freud. 

The definition of psychoanalysis involves mental health issues that develop out of unmet or traumatic sexual issues - and some other stuff.

It also involves the analyst facing away from the patient rather than facing the patient.

Carl Jung has an interesting way of treating his most famous female patient.  It involves a long term, weird, kinky, violent sexual relationship.

But I liked the movie.  It wasn't boring.  And I learned some things.  For instance, I learned that only the very wealthy were recognized as being worthy of treatment.  Jung didn't even acknowledge those who were there to serve him.  As far as I could see, neither Freud no Jung showed the slightest compassion. 

Michael Fassbender plays the wildly uptight Carl Jung.  Viggo Mortenson plays the wildly insecure Sigmund Freud. Keira Knightly plays the crazy patient who becomes Jung's crazy mistress and, later on, a therapist. 

Vincent Cassel plays Otto Gross, a crazy therapist turned patient turned therapist - who could have coined the phrase "If it feels good, do it." 


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The Eames Chair Saga

The Eames Chair, properly called the Eames Lounge, was released in 1956 by designers Charles and Ray Eames.  Designed for a high end market, they were (and are) prized by architects. 

Dave scraped up the money to buy his Eames Chair in 1969.  It's a work of art.  Most folks who come to the condo don't know what it is but those who do - drool.  Needless to say, Dave loves his chair - and has loved it for 43 years.  That's about 39 years longer than he's loved me.

A week ago Sunday I was sitting in the Eames enjoying my hot tea and the Sunday paper when I heard a big CREAK!  It was cold outside and warm inside so I thought one of the sun room windows had shattered.  I got up and investigated but they were fine.

So I got back all snuggled up in my chair when, along with another CREAK, I was flung over onto the floor.  And on the floor with me was half of the Eames Chair. 

I called Dave who was still asleep to help me get untangled.  He was sweet, loving and gentle getting me up and checking for injuries.

But within 10 minutes he was on the computer investigating what to do about the chair.  It won't be an easy (or cheap) fix.  Yes, the Eames was badly injured.  This is how it looks today.  


Yes, we're still married.


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Making Amends

A while back I picked up a little murder mystery at the library.  Escapism.  As it turned out it was about a former detective who lost everything due to alcoholism and, in this story, is solving a crime while attending daily AA meetings and trying to stay sober.  At the same time, he's working through his 12 Steps.  Number 8 is "Making Amends." 

This is when you try to - not only apologize - but to make amends - for all of the terrible things you've done.  Not an easy thing to do.  In the novel, step number 8 gets the victim, also a recovering alcoholic,  killed. 

And now, in this morning's paper, conservative columnist, Cal Thomas, writes a column about making amends to Rachel Maddow.  This story has nothing to do with alcoholism but everything to do with seeking forgiveness in this politically heated climate.

Last week, Cal Thomas was on a panel before a crowd of about 1,000 conservatives.  A clip was played of Rachel Maddow commenting on the Catholic contraception issue.  Thomas responded, and I quote:

I think she's the best argument in favor of her parents using contraception...and all the rest of the crowd at MSNBC, too, for that matter.

Cal Thomas, to my knowledge, has always been a gentleman and has, many times, tried to find common ground with the most liberal folks around. 

Thomas continues, The next morning I felt bad about it, so I called Ms. Maddow to apologize.   It wasn't one of those meaningless, 'If I've offended anyone...' apologies; it was heartfelt.  I had embarrassed myself and was a bad example to those who read my column and expect better from me.

Maddow could not have been more gracious...On her show she said publicly, ' I completely believe his apology.  I completely accept his apology.' 

To be forgiven by one you have wronged is a blessing; it's even cleansing. 

All of this is a blessing to me.  Cal Thomas and Rachel Maddow, who've never met, are going to have lunch together soon.  I'm sure they'll find common ground.


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Wastin' Away in Key West

Nibblin on sponge cake
Watchin the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil

Strummin my six-string
On my front porch swing
Smellin those shrimps
They're beginnin to boil

Wastin' away in Margritiaville,
Lookin' for my lost shaker of salt...,

Jimmy Buffet, 1977

We just had a really fun 3 days in Key West.  We were with friends we love.  Nobody was high maintenance.  Here are a couple of hints for having a safe and sane but fun va-ca in our southern most city.

Airtran - Driving to KW from Orlando takes about 8 or 9 hours.  As you know, I don't do anything for that long.  Airtran flies direct.  Sometimes you can get on line tickets for $69.  I found us an extra special price of $35. 

Fogarty's - Best fish sandwich - Ever!

Tour Bus - I like hop on hop off city bus tours.  If the driver's entertaining I like to take the entire  trip - then decide where to go.  All of our drivers were hilarious.

Butterfly Conservatory - This may not seem like a wild and crazy place to you but we loved it.  It's been voted #1 Key West attraction by People's Choice Awards. 

Hemingway House - Ernest Hemingway was a wild and crazy guy! I've read almost everything he wrote.  Early on, he lived for 9 years in this house  And most scholars agree that he did his best work here.  The house is smaller than I'd imagined with a wrap around porch and beautiful gardens.  Dozens of 6-toed cats make themselves at home.

Art  and  Historical Society (Old Customs House) - The house, itself, is grand.  All red brick with life like statuary on the porches.  Lots of history inside. 

Mallory Square - This is where everybody goes to see the sunset.  Of course, most of us can see the sunset on any given night if we just walk outside.  But we wouldn't have hundreds of other folks with us, including the French guy with the trained cats - and the people from the cruise ships.

Two Fun Facts - When you're in Key West you're much closer to Cuba than to mainland USA.  Dave took all of these photos.

By the way, we didn't get any more "wasted" than Jimmy Buffet (one of the hardest working men in show biz) does - that is to say - not at all.  But Dave did have a Margarita one night.  And I had a sip.

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This Is All About You

I'm a numbers gal.  I love stats.  This blog has a statistics page.  It counts page views.  It gives me an idea of how many of you "view" various pages and where you are.  No, not your address!  Just your country. 

I am always totally blown away when I look at these stats.  For instance, it lists the ten most viewed posts.  By far the most consistently viewed posts are:

"Me and Bobby McLaughlin."  I wrote this post several years ago while I was in Stillwater, Minnesota. As a young man Bobby McLaughlin was falsely accused of murder, convicted and sent to prison.  His foster parents worked until they found the evidence to prove him innocent.  A movie was made of his life starring Brenden Fraser, with Martin Sheen playing his dad.  When I met Bobby in Stillwater it was obvious that he'd had a hard life but he was happy to tell us his story and I was honored to hear it.

"The Getty.  Last spring Dave and I went to the Getty Museum in Los Angles and I wrote about it as I do about many cool places we visit.  This posting also, consistently gets a number of hits.

For instance, this week 34 of you viewed "Me and Bobby McLaughlin" and 18 of you viewed "The Getty."

But the most astonishing stats are where you, my faithful readers, are.  Always, of course, the vast majority of you (thousands) are in the U.S.  Then the U.K. and Canada.  Makes sense.

But, for instance, this week I had 8 views in Russia (about average for Russia), 5 in Serbia and 2 in Bangladesh.

Are you kidding me?  Bangladesh? 

Also we have regular readers in India, Irland, Iran .... and those are just the "I's."

In the past month I've had 30 views in Russia and 16 in the Netherlands.  In the past two years I've had 251 views in Australia.  (Hi, Ashley.)

I started this blog in 2007 because I knew I was starting a whole new life.  I titled it "My Best Time" because it is.  This is true even though I'd already had a wildly fulfilling long life.  This is also the most fun I've ever had writing, even though I've been doing it for 50 years.

Thanks for continuing to share the adventure with me.   I know I don't make it easy to leave comments - but you can do it if you're patient.  Also you can always e-mail me.  I always answer.


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Brown Spots

Both my brother and I have olive complexions like our dad.  My brother still has beautiful skin but my dad, who was a handsome man, developed serious brown spots on his face when he got old.  And now, me too! 

Sometimes when I get up in the morning and pull a tee shirt over my head, my dad's face pops out the top.  Yikes!

A few weeks ago, while Dave and I were having breakfast on Park Avenue, I was thinking about how I might need to do something like dab bleach on my cheeks.  Then we started our walk and I saw one of those Signs From God. 

On the sidewalk, in front of the Origins shop, was a big sign that read "Brown Spots."  I think it's out there every Saturday but, like a person who's hit bottom in other areas of life, I thought it was there for me. 

We went in and a nice young man in a turtle neck showed us just what he thought I needed.  I wasn't sure but Dave insisted on buying the stuff for me - about eighty bucks worth. 

We bought the high potency brightening peel pad with fruit acids and the Mega-Bright skin tone correction serum.  I've faithfully used about half the pads and half the serum so far.

And I can't see a nickels worth of difference!  Much less eighty dollars worth.  But I still have hopes - and I promise not to try the bleach - for a while anyway.


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My Presidential Supporter Can Beat Up Your Presidential Supporter

Now it seems a Ron Paul supporter is suing Newt Gingrich, saying that a member of Gingrich's security team stepped on his foot and fractured it - on purpose. 

Some could say he was asking for it by being at a Gingrich rally carrying a Ron Paul sign and wearing flip flops.  And, of course, this happened in Central Florida where anything goes. 

Yes, I find this funny - but embarrassing - for the candidates and for Florida.

But, what's happening in the Florida legislature is worse.  In the Sunday editorial section of the Orlando Sentinel Jessica Lowe and Deirdre Machab, both leaders of the League of Women Voters of Florida, wrote a column on the way ordinary folks are being treated when they speak before the legislature. 

On the prison privatization plan - dozens of correctional worker from all over the state signed up to testify.  The hearing lasted two hours but only five minutes was allowed for public input.  

On the redistricting plan - the LWV and their partners were repeatedly berated by House members, telling the them their map plans were something their three year olds could draw.

On an elections amendment - The Leon County Supervisor of Elections was met with "blatant hostility" and was mocked by the senate Rules Committee when he testified. 

On a tuition bill - A 20 year old college student from Miami was repeatedly interrupted by the committee chair while giving her testimony. 

I'm all about give and take and tough decisions but I'm also all about civility.  Legislators habitually humiliating regular folks (citizens) is NOT funny.  It's sad and mean - and embarassing. 


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Germs and Communion

For the last few years part of the communion ritual at my church involves watching the servers squirt antibiotic lotion on their hands.  I love communion.  It's symbolic of - and actually is - a fresh start.  A do-over. 

This morning I was served my wafer, took a bite, then put it down on the altar rail while I received the cup. I thought about picking up the wafer and finishing it but decided, since several hundred folk had already taken communion and prayed at that rail, I wouldn't chance it, germ wise.

I was kind of upset with myself for even thinking about germs at this highly spiritual time. 

But we do think about these things.  A couple of days ago at the gym I hesitated using the drinking fountain.   Then I remembered how, when I was a kid, my friends and I put our entire mouths around the drinking fountain and sucked on it.  Dave says he did the same thing.  I asked him what other gross things he did and the funniest was cleaning golf balls he and his friends found on the green by putting them in their mouths. 

One of the funniest things I did, along with my little brother, was lick the "salt block" that was out in the pasture for the livestock. 

We survived but I don't do that anymore.  I'm grateful that God continues to protect me in other ways.


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Start With the Small Stuff

My older daughter gave me some good advice a few years ago.  I was wondering about trading cars - mainly because of the way my car looked.   She said, "Why not have your car detailed and then make the decision."

I didn't have it detailed but I did get a deluxe cleaning that included shampooing the interior and one of those Christmas tree thingys that smells good hanging from rear view mirror.  That satisfied me for a couple more years. 

As you know, I have an old kitchen.  A couple of years ago when I was fussing about the sink, Dave bought me a fancy new faucet.  Made all the difference.

Last week, while I was in a meeting, he went to Lowe's and bought shiny new pans for the burners on our 27 year old stove.  Today I Windexed all the shiny parts, including the tea kettle.  The whole thing sparkles.

I'm glad Dave and I think alike. 

There is a little problem that will need to be addressed soon.  The self cleaning oven no longer does.  My older daughter also told me this:  "When you turn on the oven and the whole house smells like a fantastic roast beef - but you haven't put anything in there yet - it's time to clean it."


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Aqua Zumba

In the last few months a couple of my friends at the gym have tried to get me to do Aqua Zumba with them.  Each time I've said "No thanks."  For years I about killed myself every other day doing aerobics (land and water) and running.  Now I'm retired.  No spinning and no Aqua Zumba!

To make my point, a few months ago, in the New Yorker, there was a cartoon of some newcomers in hell being forced to do Aqua Zumba.  'Nough said!

But......a couple of weeks ago we were visiting a friend in her exquisite condo in south Florida.  As Dave and I came up from the beach there were a dozen or so women bobbing up and down in the pool pictured above.  On the edge was a beautiful young woman leading an Aqua Zumba class.  She smiled at me and said "why don't you join us?" 

I immediately slid right into the heated pool.  It was an hour of musical fun.  I loved it.  Also a great workout.  And, you know, with just your head exposed, nobody else knows how hard  you're actually working in that water.


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The Big Bang

Here in Florida we're very ambivalent about science.  We can take it or leave it - mostly depending on our religious views.

But the good news is we've received a better grade from the Fordham Institute.  We've gone from an F rating to a D.  Woo Hoo. 

This is because we set new standards in 2008 after having a big fight about how and whether to teach evolution in public schools. 

The Fordham Institute says that our standards for physical science are weak..."a melange of unconnected statements - of no help in planning a thoughtful, rigorous curriculum."

To be fair to us Floridians most states were judged to be "mediocre to awful," with only California and Washington, D.C. getting an A rating.  

I find this all to be quite scary.


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The Artist

Dave and I saw "The Artist" last Sunday.  It's up for an Academy Award and a ton of other awards.  But I didn't like it.  However I'm pretty much alone in this.  One of my favorite sites to read movie reviews is "Rotten Tomatoes."  The reviewers there can be truly tough on movies they don't like.  Here's how they summed up "The Artist."

A crowd pleasing tribute to the magic of silent cinema.  The Artist is a clever, joyous film with delightful performances and visual style to spare.

Yes, it was all this - but I didn't like it.

It's a silent French movie in black and white paying tribute to the best of silent movies and movie stars.  The actors are wonderful, including the dog.  Dave enjoyed every minute of it.

I didn't like it.

Yes, it had its moments.  The tiny bit of sound in the middle is clever.  The tap dancing, which, from the previews, I thought would be pervasive, was good - but there was very little of it.

Did I mention that it's silent and in black and white?

I would far rather have seen "Singin' in the Rain" for about the 8th time.  It's my all time favorite movie tribute to silent movies. 


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