This Is Not About The West Memphis Three

Most of you know about The West Memphis Three, the young men who were tried and convicted almost 20 years ago for the brutal murders of three little boys - and then were recently released.

But this isn't about them.  If you want to know more about them look up "West Memphis Three."

This is about what happened to them in prison.  For the first six years they were routinely beaten by other prisoners and guards alike. They've had multiple broken bones.  And they were abused in all sorts of despicable ways that I won't go into.  (Read it on the Web.) 

They've had trouble adjusting to being free.  They haven't seen the sun in 18 years.  Haven't walked without chains, haven't used a fork, (they had to eat with their hands.)

But this isn't about The West Memphis Three.  It's about us. 

I'm ashamed to live in a country that routinely tortures human beings -  In this case, the same ones for decades. 

Just last night I saw another cop show where the cops were threatening a young man by describing, in graphic, sexual ways,  what would happen to him if they decided to send him to prison.

The West Memphis Three are more than likely innocent.  But this isn't about them.  It's about us.


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The Electricity Bill Was What??

Yesterday  a friend and person I admire was the speaker in our Sunday school class.  (She's the one who recommended we see the movie "Contagion.")

She's also a big time environmentalist.  That's what she spoke about.  As you know, Dave and I are aspiring environmentalists as well.  But we could do a better job.  We all could. 

When we got back to Florida in early August after being away for three months, the condo was a mess.  Dark and hot.  I'd warned Dave that there might be a few dead bugs but I was still afraid it might be a deal breaker when he saw them.  The Florida Palmetto Bug - which the rest of the world calls a roach - is a sight to behold when several of them, about the size of  lobsters, are belly-up on your kitchen floor.

We got them cleaned up but, after seeing a couple more in the next few days, I broke down and used some chemical spray behind the fridge and dish washer.

That was wrong.  Bad for the environment.

Then we had several weeks of work done, including having the place painted.  Every day when I came home the doors were wide open and the outside hose was running.  I spoke to the guys a couple of times but not very firmly. 

Needless the say, the utility bills were through the roof. 

I told Dave I was so happy he married me so we could pay them together.  But that's not the point. The point is that we all need to be careful with our resources, i.e. the earth's resources.

Once they're gone - they're gone.


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Another Reason Why I Read

A couple of postings back I printed a poem I'd written in 1973 about Playboy magazine.  The underlying reason for choosing that particular poem from the book was my amazement that NBC is putting a series about a Playboy Club on the air. 

I would have liked to have written a posting about all that Playboy was (and was not) in that era, but I don't have the words. 

Then this week's Newsweek arrived with an article by Nora Ephron (one of my favorite writers) saying it for me.  Buy the Newsweek if you want to read it - but I will share three short observations of Ephron's.  They will help you if you insist on watching this new show with the voice over saying ridiculous things like "changing the world, one Bunny at a time."

1.  Trust me, no one wanted to be a Bunny.

2.  A Bunny's life was essentially that of an underpaid waitress forced to wear a tight costume.

3.  Playboy did not change the world.

And, of course, Ephron has some funny things to say about Hugh Heffner himself.  She calls him a whack-a-mole that just keeps popping up.

Thanks, Nora Ephron, for saying so well what I couldn't say at all due to the steam coming out of my ears.


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Contagion

A person I care for and respect told me on Wednesday that she and her husband liked the movie, "Contagion."  So Dave and I saw it yesterday. It's not a comedy.

It starts with a cough and ends with 26 million people dead.

It's not the typical disaster movie.  It's not a melodrama.  It's not touchy-feely.  There are no high tech disaster scenes.  There are no monsters.

It's scarier than that.  It's realistic.  It's played out in a rapid, almost documentary form.

As in real life, the disaster (in the form of a world-wide virus) brings out the best and worst in people.  It's uplifting to see folks give themselves to solve the problem.  We see this all the time in small and big disasters in real life.
 

I know people who run to the fire.

There are a number of big stars in this movie:

• Laurence Fishburn - This must be why he left CSI.
• Gweyneth Paltrow - She looks really bad but we'll give her a break since she's dying.
• Jude Law - Plays one of the only bad guys (and a blogger at that.)
• Kate Winslet - Don't get too attached to her character.
• Marian Cotillard - She's a good guy.
• Matt Damon - He's a good guy who plays "everyman," as he does so well.
• Elliot Gould - Some of you might not know him but some of us remember when he was married to Barbra Streisand and, way before that, when he was the original Trapper on MASH.

It's a good movie.  Go see it.


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Who's To Blame?

...around 80% of antidepressant medications are prescribed by non-psychiatrists, including internists, GYNs, family practitioners, and non-MD's such as physicians assistants and nurse practitioners.  

Psychiatrist, Joseph Mason, quoted in the New Yorker


We have another super high profile murder trial here in Central Florida.  Robert Ward is accused of killing his wife, Diane, in the bedroom of their palatial Isleworth home, just west of Orlando. 

Yes, that's Tiger Woods neighborhood.

The case has all the elements of high drama.  Fantastic wealth, bankruptcy, adultery and bizarre behavior by both Robert and Diane Ward.  Some of Robert's is caught on tape from his prison cell.

I have no clue as to what really happened.  He says he was trying to save her from suicide when the gun went off. The prosecution says he shot her. 

Unfortunately, in his call to 9-1-1 he said, "I just shot my wife."

The sad thing is that Diane Ward had high levels of antidepressants and alcohol in her system when she died.  Antidepressants can make life livable.  But sometimes they can do the opposite when they get out of whack. 

In any case, it's another sad story of sad people.


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An Old Book

This week, while Dave was cleaning a closet, he found an old poetry book I'd written 35 or so years ago and had completely forgotten about.

After he read it, I read it.  Again, but for the first time in many, many years.  I will have to say, with all humility, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I was reminded of what we women - well, some of us - went through in the 60s and 70s and how much life has changed.  And the part some of us had in that change.

Here are a couple. 

The Thingmaker  (written in 1972)

I saw a layout
in playboy magazine
featuring  a racing car
shaped like a woman

dear playboy
I am not a machine
I am a human being

Is your relationship
with your machine
unfulfilling
undemanding
unsatisfactory
unloving
incomplete
unfinished

next time
try a person.


The following was written in 1973

Why Women's Lib,
    Confuses me.

Am I the cause of all
    my problems,
Or is he?


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What Ever Happened to My Oldies?

People ask me from time to time for an update on the Oldies.  This is a couple I've seen at least once a week for the past 25 years or so.  That is, up until things started to go downhill for them a while back.

He's 90.  She's 91.  As I've told you before, he was one of the most brilliant, exciting, fun men I've ever known.  He was a neighbor and acquaintance of Andy Rooney at one time.  He and Andy had that sense of humor/curmudgeon thing in common.

We visited them this morning in their fancy assisted living digs.  They were both in bed.  But, sweetly, in the same bed.  A caregiver was with them.  She's there several hours a day.

My Oldies are on the kind of high end scale of elderly adults needing assistance.  They have the means and family support to help them through this end stage.

But it's not pretty.  She was in pain and when she's in pain he's beside himself. 

We used to spend hours at a time together.  Now fifteen minutes is about all they need and about all I can take.


***

We Served Lunch Again

Today Dave and I served lunch  to the homeless - as we do from time to time.  It's always an awesome, humbling honor. 

It's especially moving to see little kids and medically challenged folks.  It's painful to see folks, especially young folks, who are obviously embarrassed to be in this position.

Two people got to me.  A young, tall, very good looking African American man wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, very clean and neat - seemed so very ill at ease.

A young, blond woman, extremely thin, wearing Daisy Duke shorts, was carrying a baby on each hip.

I always wonder about the stories of every person we serve but I especially wonder about these two.

Later, when Dave and I were driving away from the downtown core,  we saw the blond woman walking down the street, still carrying a baby on each hip.  But she had no purse or bag.  These babies were in diapers.  I wonder what she does when they need changing.


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Why It's Good to Read Books

A couple of years ago Dave was reading "Loving Frank" by Nancy Horan.  It's about Mamah Cheney's love affair with Frank Lloyd Wright.  Almost every day, while Dave was reading the book, he fussed and fumed about the selfishness of these two.  Not only with their affair (they were both married with small children) but in the way they treated everybody around them.

I decided I would save myself all this grief by not reading the book.

But it's the October pick for my book club so I started it yesterday.  This morning I began fussing and fuming to Dave about the behavior of these two.

But Frank Lloyd Wright was a brilliant artist who's work changed the face of architecture.  Millions of people are still being positively affected by the beauty of his work.  His life was complicated. 

As was Mamah Borthwick Cheney's life.  As are all of our lives.  We're all complicated and  broken people.

I'm only on page 68 but in the last line of this chapter Mamah's close friend says to her, "What about duty?  What about honor?  You wouldn't take down two families,  (including eight children.) You couldn't live with yourself."

But we know that she does - and she does!

I'm going to keep reading.  Because I believe that when I'm forced to question the choices and learn about the lives of other people, I'm also questioning and learning about myself.


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Is This The Next Step?

My husband, Ken, used to get upset with me when I tried to get him to use his walker and especially his wheelchair.  They were humiliating for him and, as he explained to me, they weren't temporary.  He was never going to get better. 

They were the next step.

When I met with my Power Rangers this week a couple of us were confessing and/or teasing each other about our forgetfulness.  For instance, I messed up my pill boxes this week.  And I neglected to send an important e-mail.

Is this normal?  Or is it the next step?

This morning we had a lengthy conversation with a man we see from time to time.  Not exactly a friend but somebody I care about.  He's been very ill so I'm especially concerned about him.  I would tell you his name, but....at the moment...

I have no idea what it is!


***

I've Been Vindicated

Last week my little 2000 Camry went kaflooy in the middle of the highway.  Very sad.  Had it towed to my mechanic who, after looking it over for five days, gave me a repair estimate totaling a couple thousand dollars.  I said "OK, fix it."

When Dave heard what I'd done he was skeptical.  I told my son and he was skeptical.

But the car has at least one hundred thousand miles left on it.  It's old but it looks good and has and has character  - like me.  '

This morning I had my old friend and handyman, Mario, come over to look at my busted 27 year old refrigerator.  He's from Cuba and very wise.  He fixed it right up.  And he agreed that fixing the car and fixing the fridge is the right thing to do.

He told me that his 94 year old mother is still using her 35 year old bonnet hair dryer. 

She's my kind of woman!

***

Oh, The Wonder of It All

Oh yes, indeed we know
That people will find a way to go,
No matter what the man said
And love is fine for all we know
For all we know our love will grow
- that's what the man said
So won't you listen to what the man said.

Listen to What the Man Said, lyrics by Paul McCartney


Once, when Dave and I had known each other only a short time, he came to visit me on his birthday.  Wanting to impress him, I took him to dinner at a new restaurant on Park Avenue called Luma.  That was about five years ago.  We usually walk past that restaurant at least once or twice a week.  Always on Saturdays on our way to Rollins College and beyond.

But we've never been back to Luma.  It's kinda swanky - and not really "us."  I was just trying to impress Dave that first time.  I now know what he really likes.

Today for lunch we had mashed potatoes topped with Campbell's Chunky Sirloin Burger Soup.

But guess who was in Luma a few evenings ago?  Paul McCartney!  He and his fiance were in town to visit her son who goes to Rollins. 

Oh, the wonder of it all, baby.


***

Why?

I'm getting ready to lead a small group in my church.  We'll be discussing why God operates the way God does. 

• Some folks believe that if they're good and keep their noses clean, nothing bad will happen to them.
• Some folks believe everything happens for a reason.
• Some folks believe hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters are God's way of trying to get our attention.
• Some folks believe that if they really please God, then God will make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.
• Some folks believe that the reason God doesn't answer their prayers is because they're not good enough (neither the prayers nor the folks praying.)

Our class begins on Wednesday and lasts for five weeks.  I'll let you know what we come up with.


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Don't Mess With the Ewok

I was never much of a Star Wars fan.  But I have several super smart friends who are fans and my children were fans for years and my younger grandsons are big fans, mostly due to their father instilling the Luke Skywalker love in them from the time they were babies.

I just heard a man speak a few days ago who said the first 20 years of his life he wanted to be Luke Skywalker.  That's not uncommon.  The Star Wars phenomenon knows no bounds.

Now I see that George Lucus is in big trouble!  It seems he's made a couple of "minor" changes in the nine-disc Blu-ray "Star Wars: The complete Saga" - coming out this month.


He's made Darth Vader all touchy-feely be having him yell "Nooo!" when the Emperor is trying to kill Luke in "Return of the Jedi."


And - get this - due to computer-generated special effects, he's made the Ewoks blink.


George, is nothing sacred to you?  Here's what your fans are up in arms about:  You don't mess with perfection.


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