My boyfriend's tall, blond beautiful daughter is visiting for a few days. She's taken the time from a non stop busy lifestyle in Chicago to be with us - but she's mostly here to go through her mother's things.
I'm, of course, leaving it totally to the two of them.
Yes, it's for the reasons you think but also because I'm feeling their pain vicariously.
After my Real Husband died (about the same time my Boyfriend's wife died) I spent months sorting through mounds of papers, personal items, medical items and "stuff." My Real Husband was the collector. My condo was crammed.
He was sick for a very long time but I never let go of the things he loved until he was gone. He always kept a map of the world in the glove compartment of his car! I let him know many times how crazy that was but after he stopped driving I still kept it there. And when I bought a new car, one that he never drove, I transferred the map.
But after he was gone I purged. Every article I picked up had an emotion attached to it. Some wonderful and some not. All of the memories were painful. The good and the bad.
I did keep a few things. I still have the navy blue sport coat with maroon stripes that he was wearing the night I met him in 1959.
For years after he became ill and couldn't use the telephone I still used his voice message. Somebody told me a few days after he died that I should change it. "It's too creepy," she said.
Close to a year later I sent out a general e-mail letting friends know that I'd dropped his name from my e-mail address. My son wrote right back letting me know how painful this was for him.
My Boyfriend and his daughter just headed out to "Mom's" storage locker. They asked if I wanted to go. I said, "I'll pass."
I'm, of course, leaving it totally to the two of them.
Yes, it's for the reasons you think but also because I'm feeling their pain vicariously.
After my Real Husband died (about the same time my Boyfriend's wife died) I spent months sorting through mounds of papers, personal items, medical items and "stuff." My Real Husband was the collector. My condo was crammed.
He was sick for a very long time but I never let go of the things he loved until he was gone. He always kept a map of the world in the glove compartment of his car! I let him know many times how crazy that was but after he stopped driving I still kept it there. And when I bought a new car, one that he never drove, I transferred the map.
But after he was gone I purged. Every article I picked up had an emotion attached to it. Some wonderful and some not. All of the memories were painful. The good and the bad.
I did keep a few things. I still have the navy blue sport coat with maroon stripes that he was wearing the night I met him in 1959.
For years after he became ill and couldn't use the telephone I still used his voice message. Somebody told me a few days after he died that I should change it. "It's too creepy," she said.
Close to a year later I sent out a general e-mail letting friends know that I'd dropped his name from my e-mail address. My son wrote right back letting me know how painful this was for him.
My Boyfriend and his daughter just headed out to "Mom's" storage locker. They asked if I wanted to go. I said, "I'll pass."
