War, What Is It Good For?

 In a very old Seinfeld episode Elaine, who was working for a publisher at the time, suggested the novel "War and Peace" be renamed "War, What is it Good For?"  As you can imagine, it was not well received. 

To me, our current situation in the middle east is a great example of Elaine's quote.  Especially since we have thousands of scholars who consider themselves middle eastern experts. What's currently happening is not a recent problem. It flairs up every few years.  

I wonder if these scholars remember the Abraham story in Genesis, the first book in the Old Testament, and its implications for Israel and Palestine.  Abraham's wife Sarah couldn't conceive so she gifted Abraham with her handmaiden, Hagar, who some suggest was Egyptian. Hagar soon had a son, Ishmael.   Sarah then went on to have twelve sons of her own. And that was the beginning of three major world wide religions, Islam, Judaism and Christianity.

So, let's start with sibling rivalry, and proceed from there.  And, instead of compiling our daily enemies list, let's think about how to help solve the world's problems with our words instead of killing. 

So now, let's clap our hands and sing:

Father Abraham had many sons.......Many son had Father Abraham

I am one of them and so are you.......So let's just praise the Lord.

***

Water, Water Everywhere

 

My favorite theme in the arts is Redemption.  It's why, a while back, I rewatched "Pretty Woman."  This film is about two good people who both do terrible things with their lives.  It's not a spiritual, religious redemption, but, because they love each other, they both become better people. 

Last week my daughter-in-law, Angie, dropped by and brought me her copy of "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner."  I had never read it but we all know quotes or phrases from this LONG poem.  

Water. water. every where,  And all the boards did shrink;

Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink.

 Written in 1798,this was Samual Coleridge's longest poem.  You may have been forced to read it in college or high school.  Angie read it in college and loved it.  I didn't "love" it but I'm happy I plowed through.  

So, what's it about?  It's about a man who made a bad decision but, in the end, he was truly redeemed, (as in the biblical sense.) 

Ir begins when the Ancient Mariner stops a wedding guest and proceeds to tell him a long, sad story of a voyage.  During this voyage, they encounter a terrible storm and then, out of nowhere, an Albatross appears.  The crew sees it as a good omen.  The Mariner, with no explanation, kills the Albatross.  

The sailers continue to suffer and die because they're in the storm and have no water. At this point they hang the Albatross around the Mariner's neck.  The crew dies.  The Mariner lives because he bites his arm and drinks his own blood.  

Many more adventures ensue but in the end, the Mariner gives himself to God and spends the rest of his life telling others that prayer is the greatest joy in life. 

At length did cross an Albatross,  Thorough the fog it came;  As if it had been a Christian soul,  We hailed it in God's name.

Instead of the cross, the Albatross, About my neck was hung.

The self-same moment I could pray; And from my neck so free,  The Albatross fell off, and sank,  Like lead into the sea.

He loved the bird that loved the man,  Who shot him with his bow.

This story is absolutely nothing like "Pretty Woman."  It's about true redemption.

The drawings are exquisite.  

***

Gated Communities

 

Shortly after moving to my condo an old friend said to me, "You are the last person in the world I thought would live in a gated community."  I accepted this as a compliment because of the life I've tried to live and it also made me feel guilty for a time. 

But I got over it.  I'm now vulnerable so I don't resent the cameras all over this place and I like the gate.  I'm sure it's more of a psychological help than anything else but I'm grateful that I feel safe, especially since I'm aging in place.  

The gate is not so much about nefarious folks getting in as it is about them getting out (with our stuff.)  Our "out" gate swings inward so a vehicle must pull up to the proper spot that triggers the gate.  And it takes about ten seconds for it to fully open.    

But, some people don't have that kind of time.  For as long as I've lived here, the gate has been routinely run into and is very often in need of repair.   Big trucks, like moving vans, and regular vehicles have broken the gate numerous times.  

My friend, Christie, also lives in a gated condo community.  Her exit gate slides straight to the right.  Easy, peasy.  But it also has this big, scary sign that makes me laugh every time I drive through it. 

Maybe we need a sign like this. 

***

Finishing Well

 

I'll be 85 in December. So I'm at the half way mark in this fast changing decade. This past week I've heard an uplifting and exciting story about aging by (and for) aging folks.  This is unusual because most books about us octogenarians are   directed toward younger people who are trying to figure out what to do with mom or dad. 

 As if we, in our 80s, have given up on reading about our special needs. 

My friend, Trish, sent me one of Diane Rehm's podcasts. I miss listening to 

Diane on NPR.  But, at age 87, she's still doing her job as a podcaster.

The interview was with Leonard Dowie, the former executive editor of the Washington Post and currently a professor of Journalism and Mass Communications at Arizona State University.  And he's 80.  

So you would think that he'd be discussing all of the above with Diane.   But first he  talked about having two scary bad falls and about how he's frightened now of going up or down any stairs without rails.

He also disclosed how he loses words.  He lost one while talking to Diane. (The word was dehydrated and is a word all of us oldies need to keep in mind.)

And, he confessed to falling for a computer scam (remarkably like the one I suffered a while back.)  But, unlike me, he is a well known investigative journalist.  His latest book is titled "80 An Octogenarian's Journal."  

What does it feel like to be in our ninth decade?  It's truly a mixed bag.  Dowie reminded us that many people in their 80s are highly productive.  He mentioned President Biden who is 80, and The Rolling Stones, whose new album came out last week.  Mick Jagger is 80 and Keith Richards will be 80 on my December birthday. 

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Methodist Preachers

 

My friend and outstanding clergy leader, Jim Harnish, shared some exciting news on Facebook yesterday.  The Florida Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church has received a $1,249,273 grant to expand the mission of the Institute of Preaching. 

I'm fortunate.  For the 25 or so years I've been attending my church, I have been blessed with excellent preaching, and highly creative worship services.  But that's not the case in every church.  I've heard some doozies in the 60 plus years I've been listening.  My husband, Ken, was an urban minister for the first nine years of his ministry so, during that time we regularly visited different churches. 

Most were great, some were offensive, others just boring (3 points and a poem.)

We were older when we, with our two preschool children, went off to seminary at Candler School of Theology.  Our third and last year there, Ken helped integrate the first United Methodist Church in Atlanta and I worked at Emory University in the development office. 

So, all of the above reminded me of a little trouble Ken got himself into.  Ken was kind of ahead of his time and was in trouble often but he liked to call it "good trouble" like John Lewis.

At Candler, students designed the mid-week worship service in the chapel.  When it was Ken's turn he wanted it to be "real."

That year, 1966, the blockbuster movie Alfie came out.  (It was remade in 2004.)  The earlier version starred British film icon, Sir Micheal Caine.  He played a limo driver who was a wildly promiscuous, selfish womanizer.  And the ending was ambivalent.  If we'd had ratings at that time, Alfie would have received a definite R. 

The movie plot was not part of the service but Ken thought the song, written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David was perfect for his fellow seminarians.  However, several of the professors were not amused. 

I think it would have fit right in with Pastor Rachel's sermon last Sunday. 

What's it all about Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live?

 

What's it all about
When you sort it out, Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?

And if, if only fools are kind, Alfie
Then I guess it is wise to be cruel

And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie
What will you lend on an old golden rule?

As sure as I believe there's a heaven above
Alfie, I know there's something much more
Something even non-believers can believe in

I believe in love, Alfie

Without true love we just exist, Alfie
Until you find the love you've missed
You're nothing, Alfie

When you walk let your heart lead the way

And you'll find love any day Alfie, Alfie

 

Live Like You Were Dying

David Miller, the senior pastor at my church, FUMC Winter Park, began his sermon last Sunday by quoting a few lines from Tim McGraw's hit song from a couple of years ago.

He said “I was in my early 40’s 

With a lot of the life before me

When a moment came that stopped me on a dime

So what would you do if you learned you were a short timer on this planet?  

Yesterday I watched an episode of "Family Feud."  One of the questions was "What would you do if you were given one million dollars and had one week to live?" The answers were outrageous.  Buy a big house or a horse or a luxury car.

Last Sunday David Miller was preaching on the book of James 4:13-17. 

James 4:14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

I am old.  I'm aware that I'm a short timer on this planet.  I don't find this upsetting.  There are so many things I can't do but, along with that, I no longer want to do.  I have no interest in sky diving or riding a bull named Fu Man Chu. I have no interest in endless discussions about my health issues (or your health issues.)  But I try to live in a way that provides meaning and purpose to me and others every single day.  It makes me happy.

Tim McGraw continues...

I went sky diving

I went Rocky Mountain climbing

I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin

And he said “Some day I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dyin’

Because we all are.  

***

Computer Catastrophe

 A week or so ago I started having McAfee pop ups.  McAfee is a computer security company.  Its job was to protect my computer.  I did everything I knew to get rid of the pop ups but nothing worked. 

So I called McAfee.  Again, it's a security company.  A nice lady got on my computer.  It took me 15 minutes or so to realize this was not McAfee.  My computer was being attacked - big time!!

They went to town on it.  I asked them to get off several times, tried to shut it off, etc.  They ignored me.  Toward to end, which was at least an hour, they wanted to charge me $499.99 and this would allow me to use them to "protect" my Mac for the next five years.  Yes, I did know at that point that they were crooks.  

So, it may seem strange but I got out my credit card and paid them.  Yes, it was stupid but I was in such bad shape I would have paid them almost ANYTHING to get them off my computer.

By that time I was having a full blown anxiety attack but I managed to call Vanguard.  They'd already had so many attempts to get into my account that Vanguard had put a lock on it.  I said, great.  Leave it on until I call you back.  Same thing with my bank. 

Then, as one of my favorite stand up comics, Leann Morgan, says, "I had to take to the bed."

But the next morning I was ready for battle.  I called Apple Support.  I wanted them to screen share with me. They had a really tough time getting in but we eventually made it happen.  

By the way, no one should ever be allowed to remotely change things on your computer.  Apple gets in but does not make changes.  They have a little arrow pointing me to where I should click.  We worked together for a couple of hours to get rid of these bad guys and clean up the computer.  The invaders were like the movie "Everything, Everywhere, All at Once."  (By the way, in the Meniere's Disease groups I'm a part of, they warned us patients not to see this movie; that it would bring on an attack.  I haven't seen the movie but, unfortunately had the real life experience.)

 After Apple assured me the villains had been vanished, I changed all my important passwords.  Then called my bank that's associated with my credit card and filed a claim for them to delete the $499.99 charge.  After investigating, they did.  I also requested a new credit card and deactivated the old one.

I then contacted Experian and the other  two credit companies, and had my accounts frozen.  

Yesterday morning I looked at my online bank account and found that these people had re-applied the $499.99 with my card.  So I called the fraud line once more.  It took a couple of hours but I filed another claim.  When we were finishing up on the phone the Fraud person said this was a popular "computer pirate" and they preyed on a particular demographic.  I said "you mean as in little old ladies?"  He laughed. 

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