My Mission

In this very serious time of year leading up to Easter, I've been thinking about the meaning of life.  Especially the meaning of my life - at this stage of my life.

I've shared with you several times the remarkable writing of my old friend, Jim Whinnie.  Jim has Alzheimer's but he's still very active as a writer, Methodist minister and all the other roles he carries including his presence at a monastery from time to time.

The other day he quoted a nun, saying words that resonated with me in a profound way.  Jim was ending his visit at the monastery and he writes:

As I type these words, I sit in an airport waiting for my flight to be called.  And beside me is my vigilant guide, Sister Rosa.  I told her I would be fine...but she answered..."It is my mission to guide you safely home and that is what I will do."

And so I say to a precious few people in my life...If I manage to outlive you..."It is my mission to guide you safely home and that is what I will do."

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Old Hair

The amount of maintenance involving hair is genuinely overwhelming.  Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.
-Nora Ephron,  I Feel Bad About My Neck


I was looking at last month's AARP Magazine yesterday, which, by the way, I love.  In it was a little article by Maya Massar, an actress and artist who lives in Southern California.

Maya's article is called "Going Gray."  She's 55 years old.  This is her photo.  She's advocating going gray but she doesn't hold anything against those of us who choose to color our hair.

Are you kidding me?

This woman is gorgeous and has gorgeous hair.  My niece has hair just like this.  So does my daughter.  It doesn't matter what color it is, it's gorgeous.

Let's give Maya another twenty years.  Then she may be trying to figure out what color will help camouflage the little bald spots that keep popping up or what color will camouflage the many interesting (but not necessarily attractive) new spots that appear on her face.  Let's remind Maya that for every hair she loses on her head she may gain one on her chin.

Nora Ephron, who's quote is above, tells the story about having a luncheon in Manhattan for Jean Harris the day after she was released from prison.  Jean had been put away for killing her lover, the Scarsdale Diet Doctor.  Of all of the women assembled to welcome Jean home, all approximately the same age, the only one with white hair was Jean, who was fresh out of prison.

On the other hand,  I was with an old friend on Tuesday.  She's very old.  She'd led an amazingly interesting life.  She's come through several bouts of cancer.  She was standing before us, leading us in singing old hymns.  After many rounds of chemo she is essentially bald on top.  What little hair she has is white.

She is beautiful.


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Abolition Women

On Wednesday I met a young woman I knew to be a social worker but she was introduced to me as an abolitionist.

That's because she is in the forefront helping eradicate the sex trafficking going on in our state right now.

I had just the day before finished reading "The Invention of Wings" so I said to her, "you must know the Grimke sisters."

She did.  Not because she'd read Sue Monk Kidd's book about them but because Sarah and Angelina Grimke were pioneer abolition women in putting and end to slavery and advocating women's rights.

Raised in South Carolina in the early 1800s, the Grimkes could have spent their lives as rich, privileged southern women.  But that wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

On her 10th birthday, Sarah Grimke was given a gift all wrapped up in blue ribbons.  It was her own personal slave.  Somehow this did not seem right to Sarah.

She also had ambition.  This would not be tolerated in a southern woman.  Here is how her mother explained it in the book:

Every girl comes into the world with varying degrees of ambition...The truth...is that every girl must have ambition knocked out of her for her own good...and so it came to this, to being broken like a horse.

But, fortunately, it didn't work.  Sarah and Angelina Grimke went on to be a remarkable force for freeing slaves and for freeing women.  But at a huge price.  They gave up everything, money, privilege, marriage and children.

When my daughter was in law school she had a colleague who made a lot of noise every time I saw her about how she was opposed to the feminist movement.  I always wanted to remind her of women like the Grimke sisters, and so many others along the way, (including me) who sacrificed themselves in order for her to become a lawyer.

Thank you Grimke sisters.  And thanks to the abolitionist I was introduced to on Wednesday.

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The Queen of Versailles Revisted

Jackie and the old house.

On September 9, 2012, I wrote a blog posting titled "The Queen of Versailles."  Well, It was more of a rant than anything else.

Jackie and David Siegel were featured in a documentary about the new house they're building.  The house, "Versailles," at 90,000 feet is about the size of a shopping mall and reportedly will have 17 kitchens and 30 bathrooms.

The documentary made the Siegels look like absolutely terrible people.  Not to mention clueless.  But it also made them rich(er) and famous.  Jackie has been doing her best to further her career in show biz ever since.  And now, according to the front page of today's Orlando Sentinel, she's on her way.

Earlier this week she was at our world famous - all gay all the time - Parliament House resort with a camera crew filming as she judged a drag queen contest.  Jackie says that drag queens will be part of her next endeavor.

Also (despite the fact that David says he hates show business) the Siegels recently filmed a promo for a celebrity-wife-swap show.

I guess all this is easier than enrolling in Yale School of Drama.

But back to the houses, Jackie says that they will keep their old house as well as the new because, with eight kids, "some of us may live at Seagull Island and some at Versailles."


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Dave's Art Group

Dave's art at a showing in
Minneapolis

Dave goes to an art group on Tuesdays and another art group on Wednesdays.  When he lived in Minneapolis (for about 50 years) he did most of his art with a friend.  They did a number of shows together.  Dave's art always sold well.

But that's over.  Showing ones art is expensive (framing) and time consuming.  Dave loves being with his new friends.  He loves people.  The other day a new person; a beautiful, young Korean woman, showed up in the group.   Following is their conversation as Dave explained it to me.

Dave:  "Are you married?"

Beautiful Korean Woman:  "No."

Dave:  "Would you like to be married?"

Apparently there was some hesitation on the BKWoman's part but she essentially said:  "Yes."

Dave:  "Well, maybe I can help you out.  There is a Korean Congregation that meets at my Methodist church."

BKWoman:  "Why would I want to go to your Korean church?"

Dave:  "You know, to meet one of your people."

BKWoman:  "What are you talking about?  I'm Baptist."

Dave's latest. 

Dave thoroughly enjoyed this interchange.  He loves the interesting folks in his art group.  And no pressure to prepare for shows.  He paints for his own pleasure.


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Maya Lin

Maya Lin is an artist and architectural designer.  At age 21 she won the contest to design the Viet Nam wall.  She had designed the wall as a project for a class at Yale, never realizing it would propel her into controversial fame for the next several decades, including sending the art world into a spin.

2x4 Landscape

Yesterday Dave and I went to the Orlando Museum of Art to see Maya Lin's exhibit called "A History of Water."  One of Maya Lin's passions is the environment.  She believes, like many of us, that we are headed for a huge water crisis.

A body of water, showing depth and
 pollution.

I was prepared to do some major eye rolling because the largest and most controversial part of the exhibit is a sculpture covering an entire room and made from 72,000 pieces of 2x4 wood.  By the way, these pieces are not interconnected.  Instead of rolling my eyes I was filled with emotion.  I was mesmerized.

Everything else we saw dealt directly with water; rivers, oceans and so forth.  A mind boggling, sad and beautiful experience.  All designed to move and educate us.

In Forum this morning, guess what was on the agenda?  Water!

Rain drops.


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The Three Wise Guys

A Muslim, a Christian and a Jew walk into a bar....

No, it's not a joke.  It's our local three wise guys, Iman Muhammad Musri, Rabbi Steven Engel and The Reverend Bryan Fulwider.  They have a local radio show on NPR on Sunday nights.

In it they do not scream obscenities at each other as you might think they would (or should.)   They laugh a lot, learn from each other and help us learn more about these three major religions of the world.

Dave and I heard them speak at our Act II program yesterday.  They were attractive, funny, self effacing scholars, and obviously good friends.

Of course the question got asked that always gets asked when they're out and about.  This time it was asked by a kind and thoughtful engineering professor:

Why don't Muslim leaders around the world denounce the atrocities committed by ISIS and others? The answer is they do.

I've seen Iman Musri answer this question several times.  Each time he is patient, kind,  thoughtful and thorough in his response.

The Three Wise Guys believe in civility.  As you know,  civility is big with me.  I think it's possible with husbands and wives, nation and nation and every person and group in between.

I think it's what will bring about Shalom!

Thank you Wise Guys

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