Selling Us Old Folks Short!

Swiffer Superstars, Lee and Morty

Do you know the "Swiffer" commercial that features a couple in their 90s, Lee and Morty, who get a Swiffer delivered to their door? He's a little clueless but she's delighted.  She's able to get their place really clean with very little work.  She thought it was clean before but she says "I was living in a fools paradise!"

I love that commercial.  And, it caused me to buy a Swiffer.  Morty and Lee are happy, good natured, in love and still cleaning their own apartment (all like me and Dave.)

However, the Swiffer ad is one of very few that cater to older folks.  The current AARP Newsletter has an article about advertising in America.  As always, advertising is being directed to the 18 to 34 demographic.  A Nielsen study revealed that "less than 5 percent of advertising dollars target adults ages 35 - 64"  And most marketers see age 49 as the cut off.

I don't use this word often but that kind of thinking is stupid!  Here are some reasons why:

• The 50-plus market (that most advertisers ignore) is enormous.  For instance, by 2017 boomers will control 70 per cent of the country's disposable income.
• Advertisers don't like us because we are not technologically savvy but 28 million of us over 55 already subscribe to Facebook  and boomers buy twice as much online as younger adults. 
• We folks over 50 buy nearly five times as many new cars (which require insurance by the way) than the 18-34 demographic.  
• Boomers and Silents (my generation) account for 80 percent of America's luxury travel spending.

And speaking of luxury travel, tomorrow morning Dave and I are heading for Fort Lauderdale, Florida where we'll board a ship and sail to Aruba, Costa Rice, The Panama Canal, and other ports.  I can assure you that this ship will be full of fun loving, champagne drinking, massage getting, souvenir buying oldies like us.

I'll  send you a blog during our four days at the Panama Canal, the eighth wonder of the world, if I can just figure out how!


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Marriages Are About More Than Sex and Rules

I got married when I was 21.  Some folks think that was young.  But in 1960, when I married for the first time, the average marrying age for women was 20.

I was happy to see the new stats from the Pew Research Center saying that Americans are marrying much later than in years past.  Now the average age for women is 27, and for men, 29.

Thanks to accessible birth control, marriages are no longer necessary for economic survival or social acceptance - but they're way more complicated.  And statistics also tell us that those who are the most financially stable have the longest and happiest marriages.  The inverse of that is that staying married is a huge factor in being financially stable.

Some experts are saying that people need to be renegotiating their marriage from time to time.  I thank that's an excellent idea.  Just talking helps too.

In any case the church concept of:

• No sex before marriage
• Lots of sex after marriage in order to have lots of babies
• Divorce only due to adultery
• Annulment only if you don't have sex

Makes no sense to me and trivializes marriage.


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Where Is Kim?

Kim Jong Un, the 30 Something (nobody knows his correct age) Supreme Leader of North Korea and the second most famous Kim (after Kardashian) has gone missing.  He hasn't been seen since September 14th.  There's much speculation as to his whereabouts, but nobody seems to know.

I've been thinking about this for a  couple of days - so here are some clues.

Some experts are guessing that he's having feet and ankle problems due to wearing platform heels.  If so, I hope he'll get over his height issues and wear only his NIKE sneakers.  He's famous for having hundreds of pairs.  I, myself, am only 5 feet, 3 inches (and shrinking) so I feel his pain, but, several years back, I had to switch to flats and so should Kim.

As you know,  Kim Jong Un is obsessed with the NBA.  Maybe he's just off somewhere attending basket ball camp with his idols, Michael Jordan and Dennis Rodman.

Kim has an alcohol problem.  Maybe he's at the Betty Ford Clinic.

Maybe he's at Disney World

Kim has a weight problem.  Maybe he's at a fat farm.

Kim has a pathological fear of barbers and, reportedly, cuts his own hair.  Maybe he's having a bad hair month or maybe he's attending barber college.

Kim is reclusive and socially awkward.  Maybe he's attending one of those charm schools like they have at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida.

Finally, and this is a long shot, I understand that Ryan Gosling and Eve Mendes have taken almost a month to name their new baby girl.  She was born on September 12th and Kim went missing on the 14th.   I wonder if maybe Kim Jong Un might be consulting with them - because today I read that they've come up with the name Esmeralda.

It just seems like a decision Kim would make.


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Heaven

Not really scientifically or
theologically sound

You may remember that two of my favorite theological questions are:

What do you think heaven will be like?
What would you like heaven to be like?

You pretty much have to be a believer of some sort to answer the first question.  Anybody can answer the second.

This morning a famous Floridan theologian, Dr James Harnish, came to speak at our church.  I've known Jim for several decades.  I don't know him well, but what I know is all good.  He started his presentation by saying that, like his audience, he's in the third phase of life.

• 1.  You believe in Santa Clause
• 2.  You are Santa Clause
• 3.  You look like Santa Clause

For the record, while Jim and I are both in the third phase, neither of us will ever look like Santa Clause. In fact, Jim looks pretty much the same as he did the first time I met him.  Slim with a fancy bow tie.  

Anyway, he asked us to discuss this question:  

What on earth do you believe about heaven?

Hard to answer.  I have no details.  Jim said the descriptions of heaven in the Bible aren't meant to be taken literally.  They are for orientation.  I guess that's also true of descriptions folks who've been there and come back have given us, like the neurosurgeon, Dr. Eben Alexander who wrote "Proof of Heaven." 

The most provocative description I heard from Jim this morning was An end without an ending.  He also reminded us that we Methodists believe in  "going on to perfection."

I still don't have any clear, detailed answers.    Jim did say that the words to the hymn "Love Divine all Love's Excelling" are a clue.   Here are the first and last verses.  What do you think?

Love divine all loves excelling,

Joy of heaven, to earth come down;

Beautiful!  But I don't see this
as the mode of transportation.

fix in us they humble dwelling;

all thy faithful mercies crown!

Jesus thou art all compassion,

pure, unbounded love thou art;

visit us with they salvation, 

enter every trembling heart

Finish, then, thy new creation'

pure and spotless let us be.

Let us see thy great salvation

perfectly restored in thee;

changed from glory into glory,

till in heaven we take our place,

till we cast our crowns before thee,

Lost in wonder, love and praise. 

I'm pretty sure I'll never be pure and spotless in this life BUT, if Jesus is "all compassion," and I believe Jesus is, then I think I'm ok.  

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God and Country - I Love Both

I am a Christian,  ( albeit a United Methodist - I'm sure that's a concern for some folks.)  I'm also a proud American.  Dave and I, in our short time together, have traveled to 15 countries.  I've loved being in all of them - but home is home.

An interesting aside:  Years ago, I was in Miami when the Cubans were flooding in and and there was some tension.  I have kind of olive skin so when I was walking in downtown Miami a street preacher said to me "why don't you go back where you came from?"  I laughed because, of course, that would be Indianapolis.  I was born a Hoosier.   And proud of it. 

To me, the God and Country thing gets out of hand occasionally.  They are not the same thing.  Not even close.  There are God loving folks all over the world and there are USA loving people right here who don't believe in God.  That's one of the reasons I love my country so much.

James Coffin, the executive director of the Interfaith Council of Central Florida wrote a letter to the editor this weekend.  His concern was for an atheist airman at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada who recently wasn't allowed to re-enlist because he refused to sign an oath containing the phrase "so help me God."  He was encouraged to "just sign it" but, apparently he had too much integrity to do that.

I agree with James Coffin that having to sign this document is wrong and not what this country is about.  And I agree with the guy who wrote a review of the new "Left Behind" movie who said those of us who don't quite get the Rapture thing should appreciate having a pilot who's an atheist.


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Irrational Fear

My niece's response to my last posting featuring the movie "Jaws" made me laugh.  She saw the film as a little girl, with her dad, just prior to coming to Florida.  She reminded me how she was very afraid, when we went to the beach,  that my daughter (her cousin) was going to get attacked by "Jaws" when she swam in the ocean.

This week I was talking with my good friend who is smart and beautiful but is having serious, on going health problems.  She was feeling fearful about the Oklahoma beheading.

I used to be so afraid to fly that I kept me eye on a flight attendant at all times to see if he or she was doing his or her duties in a normal fashion.  (Or could I detect a bit of panic in the eyes?)

These fear stories may seem silly but we all feel this way from time to time.  Right now the Ebola virus is terrifying us.  I now refer to CNN as "The Ebola Channel."

Do you want to watch the Ebola channel?

With our fantastic technology we can be terrified in real time 24 hours a day if we want.  But the reality is that the terrible thing that happens to us, if it does, is going to come from a source much closer.  And possibly from inside ourselves.

So the next time you think you might get kidnapped and murdered in a Wal-Mart parking lot, remember that, if you're going to get killed by somebody, it will probably be your spouse or lover.

If you don't believe me just watch Dateline.


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Summer Movies

Did not love it!

You already know I love movies.  But, for the most part, not summer movies.  I like movies with depth and meaning and integrity and lots of dialogue.  So I always look forward to fall and the different variety of films on the way.  Can't wait for the new, more serious, less bloody fall movies to appear.

Here is a list, according to Entertainment Weekly,  of the 10 Best Summer Blockbusters of All Time.

Did not care for Forrest.

1.  Jaws - I saw Jaws by mistake.  Walked into the wrong theater.  I thought it was OK.

2.  Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope - While I "get" the Star Wars phenomena,  I saw only the first one.  Didn't care for it.

3.  Jurassic Park - It was OK but the best part, for me, was the ironic Jeff Goldblum (and I liked him better with his old face.)

4.  The Dark Knight  - I know nothing about this movie.

Not fond of the Terminator.

5.  Raiders of the Lost Ark - Yes!  I loved it.  I loved the entire franchise.  I love all things Harrison Ford.  I have no explanation for this.

6.  E.T The Extra-Terrestrial - I'm probably the only person in the universe who did not like this movie.

Love this guy  Even when he's grumpy!

7.  Forrest Gump - I'm probably the only person in the universe who did not like this movie.

8.  Ghostbusters - To me it was just OK.

9.  Animal House - No!  Absolutely not.

10.  Terminator 2:  Judgement Day - Never heard of this movie.

Are these your Best Summer Blockbusters of All Time?



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