Communication Skills

We had our final session discussing Robert Lupton's book, Toxic Charity, in Forum today.

At one point Jim, our presenter, talked about how we, as rich and poor and everything in between don't understand where each of us is coming from.

He told us about a program where different segments of  people were being trained in how to communicate with each other.  And that's a good thing.

But it reminded me of a poem I wrote in 1970, forty-four years ago.

AM I GETTING THROUGH TO YOU?

If I were running things, 

I would see that every, 

Poor/Black/White/Chicano/Ghetto Dweller/

     Oppressed Person,

Read Pygmalion, (or at least see My Fair

     Lady.)

And then require every,

Senator/Mayor/School Board Member/Teacher/

     Commissioner,

To go the other way, (maybe see it backwards?)

Because this is the truth, 

The man cannot deal with what you say, 

When he cannot understand what it is you 

     are saying.

No kidding, he really doesn't understand!

He lives in another world, 

And speaks another language. 

Cecily Crossman 1970

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Jersey Boys

Question:  When do the words "Sherry" and "Baby" have 5 and 3 syllables respectively?

Answer:  When Frankie Valli's singing them.

No group ever stretched out the syllables in their amazing number of hits like "The Four Seasons."

I had wanted to see the play when it came to Orlando a couple of times but missed it.  So I was overjoyed when the movie arrived this week.  We saw it yesterday.

Two things, first the movie has had so-so reviews.  Director Clint Eastwood is getting hammered for the story line being jumbled and boring.

Second, my over protective neighbor warned me that the language is rough.  I said, "Now let me get this straight.  You're telling me that this story of four tough guys coming up in the music business in New Jersey might at some point use the F-word?"

I loved the movie.  The music far outweighed any story-line problems.  In fact, I thought all four guys ("Four Seasons") were well drawn characters.  The actors playing them were fantastic.

I loved the scene early on in 16 year old Frankie Valli's parents home where the first thing we see in the very modest living room is an ornate clock with ornate gold picture frames on either side.  The one of the left holds a photo of the Pope.  On the right is Frank Sinatra.

And what can I say about Christopher Walken?  He always plays "Christopher Walken" - straight.  And he's hysterical.

But I know this movie isn't for everybody.  If you don't love "Big Girls Don't Cry"  (The word "Cry" has 3 syllables in this song,) "Walk Like a Man" or Frankie Valli's best song ever "Can't Take My Eyes off of You." then this movie's not for you.

One of the reviewers on 'Rotten Tomatoes' said "If my father had lived to age 72 he would have loved this movie."

He got that right!


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Black Power

Dr. Barbara Jenkins,
Superintendent, Orange
County Public Schools

Inserted in this morning's newspaper was the inaugural copy of Legacy Orlando.  This publication is celebrating Central Florida's "50 Most Impact-ful Black Professionals in Business and Industry in 2014."   It's  a great list but I know many more - right off the top of my head - who could/should be added.

Terry Prather, President Sea World

A few of those on the list whom I know or have heard good things about are Dr. Victoria Niklas, Chief of Neoatology Nemours Childen's Hospital, Dwaine Stevens, Media and Community Relations Manager for Publix and Mike McKenzie, President, Vision of Flight.

Honorable Belvin Perry, Jr.
Chief Judge, Ninth Judicial
Court

As we all know, this hasn't always been the case.  I just finished reading Susan Crandall's book, "Whistling Past the Graveyard."  It takes place in Mississippi in 1963.  It's about a nine year old white girl, a black woman and a white baby on a road trip.   They encounter much misery on the way. But I sometimes think Mississippi gets too much of the South's bad press.  I lived in Ft. Lauderdale in 1963 and it was every bit as racist as Jackson, Mississippi was in "The Help."  As was Alabama and Georgie and other southern states.

So, we've come a long way.  And we're all blessed for it.  And, yes, I know we still have a long way to go.  But I was thrilled to read this morning about a group of 50 brilliant, hard working leaders in my community who happen to be black.


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Happy

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song and music.  Psalm 98:4

This is not Gary.  It's Pharrell. 

My minister, Gary, preached this morning.  While he's not a music professional, he preached about how music affects us in a very powerful way.  One of the examples he used was Pharrell Williams' song, "Happy."

Williams wrote "Happy" for the movie "Despicable Me 2," but it soon went viral.  People all over the world sing it - and it seems that most of them are on YouTube.  We saw a short video clip this morning of Oprah interviewing Pharrell and both of them teared up discussing the phenomena that is this song.

Do you remember a while back when those young adults in Iran got arrested for filming themselves singing and dancing to "Happy?"

Like me, Rev. Gary, is a left-brain person.  I'm not very sentimental, I seldom cry and I'm logical to a fault.

But the right kind of music can destroy me....in a good way.  


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I'm No Longer Wreaked!

A couple of weeks ago a beautiful young woman named Megan came to lead our Forum.  Her topic was urban ministry.  She was speaking specifically about the book Toxic Charity.  (The book is basically telling us that it's much harder than you thought to help the poor.)

A couple of times she used the phrase "I'm wreaked."  Later a friend asked me if I had any idea what she was saying.  I do.  She's saying:

Despite family encouragement to earn lots of money, despite a magnificent education, despite having  a loving, talented husband whom she doesn't spend enough time with....she is doing urban ministry.  Day and night.   Why?  because she has to.  She's wreaked.

I used to be wreaked.  I felt called to sacrifice health, money, family time and sometimes safety in order to tilt windmills and hopefully make a difference in the lives of people.   I felt called to do very hard things.  I had no choice.  I was wreaked.

Yesterday's paper told the story of the west side of Winter Park, Florida.  How it's being  gentrified.  The developers have moved in and displaced families who've been there for generations.

Twenty years ago I thought I could make a difference in that very situation.  Clearly, we only - possibly - slowed it down a bit.

I'm glad I did what I did for 40 years but it's over for me.

In the meantime, Megan and her husband are on their way to Duke Divinity School.  I'm sure when they return they'll be even better equipped to tilt windmills.  Why?  Because they're wreaked.

How do I feel about all of this?  I think our future is in excellent hands.


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Words and Pictures

Words and Pictures with Clive Owen and Juliette Binoche

You've probably never even heard of the movie, Words and Pictures, because it's received no press to speak of and the few reviews it has receive have been mediocre at best.

Dave and I loved it.

On the surface it's about a man teaching honors English and a woman teaching honors art in an upscale boarding school who have a contest to see which is more important, words or pictures.

Binoche art work in the movie and in real life.

But that's not what it's really about.  It's a redemptive love story about two middle aged, complicated, struggling, broken adults falling in love.  He's an alcoholic and she's disabled - and not from some exciting accident skiing in the Alps.  She has rheumatoid arthritis.

The great French actor, Juliette Binoche, age 50, plays the artist.  She is, in fact, in real life an artist and all of the art work in the film is hers.

The great English actor, Clive Owen, age 49, plays the writer.

The have some of their best dialogue leading up to and during a loving making scene.  This is truly a love story for adults.  And, one of my favorite themes in literature, redemption.

We want to see it again.

Binoche and art. 

But it's not for everybody.  When we were standing in line for tickets there were four cool looking young men in their twenties with ripped muscles and interesting tattoos in front of us.  I asked them what they were going to see.  One of them said 22 Jump Street.  I told them we were seeing Words and Pictures. 

"What's that?"

"It's a love story about two middle aged messed up people"

He said:  "You don't want to see that.  See 22 Jump Street."

I told him we'd consider it but we hadn't seen 21 Jump Street so maybe we wouldn't be able to follow the plot.

They just looked at me.


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The Doggie Door

As I've complained various times, on Saturday mornings, Park Avenue in Winter Park, Florida is overrun with designer dogs.  Along with the occasional designer bunny rabbit, parrot, etc.

Every Saturday we pass by a popular pet store called "The Doggie Door."  How upscale is it?  The Web Site says:

The Doggie Door is Not Your Everyday Designer Pet Boutique. 

We stopped in this morning.

Here are some of the designer doggie clothes.  They actually cover an entire wall.  Dave teasingly asked the proprietor if he had any doggie tuxedos.

The reply?  "What size?  They're in the back."


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