Sleep Meds and Addiction

Twelve days ago I asked my doctor for a 30 day, 5 mg (lowest dose) prescription for Zolpidem (generic for Ambien.)   My last prescription was over a year ago.  My insurance company absolutely refused to pay.  So, today, after almost two weeks of battling,  I threw up my hands and said, "Fine, I'll pay for it myself."

As you know, I don't sleep.  Never have.  That is to say, sleep is something that I have to purposefully make happen.  Lack of sleep does a number on us physically and mentally.

At this stage, most of my friends are having the same issue.  But I've had insomnia forever.  I usually take half a Benedryl about three hours before bedtime.  This along with a light supper and plenty of quiet time usually, eventually, gets me to sleep.  But I'm always up an hour or so during the night and I get out of bed before seven every morning.

How about napping?  I never have.  I can't.  So please don't tell me to "just take a nap."

Occasionally my three hour bedtime routine is interrupted.  Like, for instance, I want to go out and enjoy myself like a normal person.  If I stay out until, say, midnight, there's no chance of going to sleep that night.  Period.

Until, about three years ago, I discovered Ambien.  I know it makes some folks crazy but it's great for me.  I take the lowest dose, 5 mg.  It still takes at least an hour to get to sleep but when I do I sleep for six straight hours.

 I've never done that prior to Ambien.

How often do I take it?  I try to limit myself to once a month.  I know that sounds rigid but I don't want to become addicted and wake up in a wedding dress,  stirring cake batter while riding our new SunRail system - and wonder how I got there.

 I know addiction is a big problem, especially here in Florida ( the Pill Mill State) but Ive never had delusions, hallucinations, euphoria or amnesia due to sleep meds.  Sounds like it could be fun but I'm pretty much a stickler about taking medicine only when absolutely necessary.

So I'v been embarrassed by the insurance company's attitude.

The end of the story is that I went to Walgreen's this afternoon to pick up my prescription and was careful to take my big credit card.  The bill was $9.32.  The insurance company had paid.

I don't get it!  But I now have enough Ambien (30 pills)
for another couple of years.   So I'm happy.


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Toxic Charity

• Give once and you elicit appreciation.
• Give twice and you create appreciation.
• Give three times and you create expectation.
• Give four times and it becomes entitlement. 
• Give five times and you establish dependency.

                 - Toxic Charity

Seems simple.  You give me stuff.  I take it.  Everybody's happy.  But it's not that simple.  The book Toxic Charity by Robert Lupton is an eye opener for some but it's old news to me.

It's not so much about what and how much we give.  It's Why.

And this not only holds true for charitable giving, the same concept works for families.  Why am I giving my grown children luxuries they can't afford on their own?  Is it because I want them to depend on me?

Why do I give lavish gifts to the poor at Christmas time?   Is it because I want to feel all warm and fuzzy and powerful?

I think, in many cases, the problems for our "lazy" poor and our "lazy" kids are the same.  We want them to be grateful - when they need and want to be empowered.


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Old Fashioned Mother's Day

When I was a young minister's wife I dreaded Mother's Day.  In our church, as in most churches, we honored the oldest mothers, the youngest mothers and the mothers with the most kids.  Because, apparently, this was something to be proud of.

Every Mother's Day we started with the process of elimination.  And the same two ladies would stand up and argue about who was the oldest.  Everybody knew they were born in the same year - two months apart.

Then the same process was started for the youngest mom.  Occasionally, when the winner was 17, or younger, I would quietly go berserk.

Of course, since it was my busy season of popping out babies from time to time, I would sometimes win the prize for the MOST children.  Beyond humiliating!

Times have changed.  We no longer measure motherhood in this inane way.  There are good moms and terrible moms and everything in between.  I was sometimes all of these on the same day.

This morning, in my church, my minister, Jayne, did a different take on Proverbs "Ideal Wife."  It was great.  But prior to that she asked every female in the congregation to stand up.  She mentioned girls and women, married and single, moms or not.  Then she let us know how much God values us.  Just like we are.

It's not a contest.


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Graduation Day

We took our weekly walk through Rollins College this morning.  The campus was busy because it's graduation day for the Hamilton Holt School which is an evening and weekend degree program.

A group of Holt faculty traditionally chooses an "Outstanding Senior"  to speak at graduation.  The choice is based on grade point average, service to the community and so on.  This morning's speaker was Elin Nordegren.

Don't know her?  She's Tiger Woods ex-wife.  Ms. Nordegren has been attending night classes at Rollins since 2005.  This morning she received a degree in psychology.

I love this.  Ms. Nordegren is astoundingly beautiful, astoundingly wealthy and has the ability to be a jet setting celebrity anytime she wants.  But she chooses to shun the limelight, mentor foster children, mother her children and go to school.

Happy Graduation Day today, Elin Nosrdegren.  And happy Mother's Day tomorrow.


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Something to Look Forward To

Betty White, Our Favorite 90 Year Old

What do these things have in common?

• Wine
• Getting fat
• Light exercise
• High blood pressure  

They're all things that will keep us healthy after age 90.  It looks like fun if we can make it that far.  Last Sunday on "60 Minutes" we learned about folks that were studied from the time they were in their 60s until they reached their 90s.  

What is keeping these 90 plus folks healthy and happy isn't vitamins or heavy dieting or doing triathlons.  

It's having a drink or two a day.  No more.  And it doesn't matter what it is.  A martini works just as well as red wine. 

It's putting on some weight.  The 90s decade means throwing away the scales and eating three squares a day. 

It's exercising - but not too much.  Just have fun.  Sex is good. 

Reaching this decade means trying to keep the blood pressure up rather than down. 

It appears that low blood pressure causes little strokes at this age.  Who knew?

Of course, the big concern is dementia.  With this they don't really have a clue.  It's caused by all sorts of things and more than half of the folks in their 90s have it.  

But the other news is pretty good. 

***

The Coop

John Rivers is legendary in these parts.  When he opens a restaurant, success is all but assured.  His Texas inspired 4 Rivers Smokehouses continually have lines around the block.

In addition to that he gives back to the community in all sorts of ways.  He's an inspiration to all who know him.

So when he opened a new restaurant with a new concept a couple of weeks ago I was pumped.  It's called The Coop and features real southern dishes.  Naturally, with the name The Coop, chicken is big.  Fried.  Yum.

We drive past the restaurant often and, since opening,  the line has been out the door and around the building.  So we strategically waited until this past Friday and timed ourselves to get there at 1:45 PM.  Still a line but it wasn't out the door.

I, of course, had the three piece fried chicken lunch,  With 18 sides or "Fixins" to choose from it was difficult but I settled on smashed potatoes and southern collards.  I'm so sorry to say I didn't care for it.  My chicken leg was good and the collards were good but, since I didn't order the gravy, the rest was dry and heavy.  I had to come home and drink a tall glass of Alka Selzer.


All of the 18 Fixins are fat laden.  Most of the meats are fried.  I'm sure the majority of folks love this.  In fact, I know they do because I could see them enjoying themselves.  And I'm aware that I'm not the target customer.  But I would like to respectfully suggest to Mr. Rivers that southern cooks almost always offer fresh vegetables - some of them not even loaded with pork bits.  I did see a dish offered with a slice of watermelon garnish.  That's a good start.

Yes, I'm going back to The Coop.  I want to try the oyster po-boy and the catfish and grits.  Maybe I'll hide some green onions and sliced tomatoes in my pocket.


***

Haddy is Gone

The other half on my Oldies died a few weeks ago in Colorado.  She was 94.  Old enough to be my mom.  But she wasn't.  She was my friend.

Harry and Haddy Welch were an amazing couple.  He was like a beautiful kite whirling up to the clouds.  She was at the other end of the string.  Gently grounding him.  She was a quiet dutiful and somewhat obedient wife.

People used to say that if Harry died first Haddy would soon follow because she couldn't function without him.  I never believed that.  I knew it was the other way around.

But I was totally unprepared for what happened.  When Harry died in 2011 she blossomed.  How can a person who is 92 and has serious dementia blossom?  I don't know but she did.

She became an artist.  Her work was bright and cheerful.  Some of the prized pieces were auctioned off.

I don't usually like it when someone dies and we hear mostly about the last few quiet years of their lives - but this time it was different.

Haddy made a name for herself.


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