Happiness

Happiness is just a thing called Joe.

You must think I'm obsessed with happiness.  I write about it a lot.  And I sort of am obsessed with it.  Can folks over the age of 60 be happy - until death overtakes us?  I think "yes."  But it's not going to come in the form of some guy named Joe.

One of my favorite writers Joan Chittister, thinks it possible as well.  I'm currently reading her Nautilus /Book Award winner, "Happiness."

Happiness is a warm puppy.

But don't think Sister Joan is going to tell us that happiness is a warm puppy.  It's way more complicated than that.  She's written a book that digs into sociology, biology, neurology, psychology, philosophy, history and the world religions to develop "an archaeology of happiness."

Until the United States of America was founded happiness wasn't even a personal concept.  But it says right in our constitution that we should "pursue it."

Happiness is a trip to the mall. 

Here's a hint.  It has nothing to do with buying stuff and owning stuff - other than meeting our basic needs. Following are some quotes from Joan Chittister's "Happiness" book to help us get a handle on what it is.

It is the point at which we reach a sense of fullness of life, of needing nothing else, of being complete in ourselves. 

Using the personal responses of people across 178 countries...researchers rank Denmark as the happiest country in the world, along with Switzerland, Austria and Iceland.....The U.S. ranked...twenty-third.

...happiness...can't be pursued as if it were a product of something outside ourselves.  It must be chosen and developed and cultivated beyond things the surveys survey.  It is both in us and beyond us.  It is the elixir of the spiritual life. 

The cellist of Sarajevo, playing his instrument dressed in black tie and tails atop a mound of bombed-out rubble because it was the only way he knew to lift the spirit and touch the souls of the battered and beaten people of the city begging for bread.  This is an icon of ecstatic happiness in a brutally unhappy world.  It is the ultimate sense of purpose in life, of gift to be given, of a person's awareness of the reason for which they have been born. 

Somebody asked me this morning if I thought they would like this book.  I didn't quite know how to answer them.  The quotes above give you some sort of clue.  If you do decide to read the book, prepare to go deep.


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Florida Water

When Dave first started flying into the Orlando International Airport, he was amazed at the amount of water a person can see when the plane first breaks through the clouds.  And that's saying something for a man who was coming from the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

Florida is a tourist destination.  And possibly the biggest draw is our water.  Lakes, rivers, pools, parks, resorts - we have them.  So come on down and enjoy our beautiful water.

But please be sure that you and your kids can swim.  As columnist Beth Kassab tells us, "Drowning is the number 1 killer of young children in Florida. And Florida has the terrible distinction of leading the country in drowning deaths."   What can be even worse is the near drowning.  Children and adults who survive but never wake up.

There was a scary article in the paper this week about what a quiet death drowning is.  There are no arms flailing or voices screaming.  We pretty much just go under - and we're done.

I almost drowned once when I was a kid.  How was it?  I remember it being quite pleasant.  I was lulling around on the bottom of a lake in Indiana when I looked ahead and saw my uncle swimming toward me.  I wondered what he was doing in the lake with his clothes on and things like coins and cigarettes streaming out of his pockets.

So please come visit us and our abundant water venues.  But learn to swim first.


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Fruitvale Station

I did not want to see this movie.  But I went with Dave because he wanted to see it.

I knew that it was an excellent film about Oscar Grant, a 22 year old black man who was killed on New Year's eve, 2008, by a BART cop at the Fruitvale Station. I didn't want to see it because it's sad and depressing from start to finish.

Oscar's a complicated guy.  He sells pot, loves his family deeply, can't control his temper but makes his bed before leaving the apartment.

In other words, he is a three dimensional human being.

When I see a movie like "Fruitvale Station" I get very sad thinking about how far we have to go in helping each other be the best we can be.  But Fruitvale Station, the 2008 event, has been the catalyst for positive change.  I hope that "Fruitvale Station" the movie, helps move it along.


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Bread Cake

I'm slowly going through my big summer pile of Saveur Magazines.  Last night I read the March, 2005 issue from cover to cover in between watching the TV.  Why?  Because I like reading about different cultures and foods from all over the world.  I think it tells us a lot about people.  And the photos are great.

There's an article in this issue on how mean the British food reviewers can be.  Here are a couple of quotes from reviews of very fine British restaurants:

...was the most disgusting thing I've put in my mouth since I ate earthworms at school.

...I didn't put a single thing in my mouth twice, it all went back. 

...stupid, ill thought-out, just plain nasty.  I may not be able to to call it the worst cooking in Britain, but that's only because I haven't eaten in every restaurant. 

I hope the British reviewers have lightened up a bit since 2005.   

Aside from the stew Dave and I made last week (which was delicious,) I can't imagine preparing any of the recipes. At this point in my life they're just too complicated to prepare and to eat.  But so much fun to read about.

For instance, on page 38, there's a recipe for Zhong Shui Jiao (Zhong Crescent Dumplings.)  There are 13 ingredients.  But the second ingredient is fu zhi you (sweet aromatic soy sauce).  So we have to go to page 83 to figure out how to make this ingredient.  The 10th ingredient is shaoxing jiu (Chinese rice wine.)  We must travel to page 87 to discover where to purchase this wine.

On page 67 we find a recipe for Torta di Pane (Bread Cake.)  The first of about 16 ingredients for this 9" cake is....18 cups of cubed crusty Italian country bread.

Let's just think a minute about what that would do to my wheat belly!

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Being Gaslighted

Gas Lighting - a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory perception and sanity. - Wikipedia

Last night Dave and I watched the excellent film "Gas Light" on Turner Classic Movies.  Ingrid Bergman won her first Academy Award for this scary film, made in 1944.  At that time Charles Boyer was the great Hollywood lover so his part as a creepy psychopath was different from his usual leading roles.

In "Gas Light" Boyer plays Ingrid's husband who attempts to drive her insane by doing the things listed above.  One example is that he regularly turns the gas lights lower and higher in order to make her feel unstable - hence the title.

It's a very good psychological thriller.

The movie also stars Joseph Cotton and Angela Landsbury.  Boyer, Bergman and Cotten are long gone but Landsbury is still a star on Broadway.  Who would have thought that this not very attractive 17 year old playing a sassy maid would have a 70 year long career in show business?

After the movie TCM host Robert Osborne, discussed it with Drew Barrymore.  Drew said that, when she was in her twenties, her therapist made her watch this movie - because Drew was in a toxic relationship where she was being "gaslighted."  This is a term I'd never heard before last night.

Who would have thought I'd learn something new and worthwhile from Drew Barrymore?"


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Retired - but Extremely Dangerous 2

The action comedy for oldies, "RED2" opened yesterday.  Dave and I saw it last night. I loved the original  "RED" in 2010.  I loved, loved this sequel.  But what's not to love?  This movie is full of dead bodies, car crashes, explosions and so much more.

Yes, I usually hate these things.  But this movie is funny.  Very funny.  The body counts are funny.  The destruction of property (which really gets to me) is funny.

The elderly stars of the original "RED" are still at it.  Bruce Willis, age 58, and his love interest Mary Louise Parker, 48 still like each other.  By the way, Parker is the funniest of all and steals the movie.

John Malkovich, 59 is a sweet relationship counselor/lunatic and also makes quite a fashion statement.  I've admired him as an actor for decades and I don't think he's ever been better.  And I love his craggy face.

Great wardrobe

Helen Mirren, age 68 is, again, priceless.  You'll love seeing her chit chat on the phone while she fills the bathtub with acid in order to disintegrate the corpse of the man she's just killed.  And the scene where she shoots simultaneously out both sides of a moving car is way beyond cool.

The only true oldster is Anthony Hopkins, age 75.  We expect certain things from Mr. Hopkins and he doesn't disappoint.

"RED" is produced by DC Comics.  Think of it as a comic and you'll enjoy every minute.


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Summer at the Pool

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings I go swimming.  Some of the time I don't really want to go.  I want to sit on the couch in my P.S.'s, reading and  listening to my Bose playing smooth jazz.  But there's a group of folks at the pool waiting for me.

The minute I step outside my front door I'm happy.  I walk to the pool under a canape of Live Oak trees.   It's glorious.

I love my swimming pool.  It's not mine exclusively - and that's a good thing.  Swimming is best with a group.

Every summer I meet a few new neighbors.  It's not easy to recognize them since we mostly see each other from the neck up and then we're all masked with baseball caps and sun glasses.  Sometimes when we see each other out and about or at a social gathering a person will say "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!"

We don't really swim.  We do an hour or so of water exercises.  It's in three parts.  First a few minutes of stretching and aerobics. The second part, which is relatively new is designed to strengthen our fingers, hands, arms and upper body.  We sing while we do this set.

Take me out to the ball game!

The final third is done at the side of the pool, with more stretching and strengthening exercise.  All together, it's a fantastic workout.

And the time walking back and forth to the pool, not to mention in the pool is a treat for eyes.  I never cease to marvel at the stark contrast between the sky, trees and water.  And you know I'm not a nature girl.  By the time I get home I'm full of ideas and ready to hit the ground running.

It's fun.  And it's free.

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