How Important is Loneliness?

Lent starts tomorrow.  For some denominations it's not a big deal.  For the "High Church" folks - and Methodists - it is a big deal.

My understanding is that Lent (the six weeks prior to Easter) is a time for introspection. It's the time to think about relationships.  Christianity is a relationship religion.

How important are relationships?  Mostly because of the way I grew up, I've felt lonely much of my life. But I'm in good company.  Jesus had the same issue.

New York Times columnist, David Brooks, has written a new book called The Social Animal.  Here's a quote from Newsweek about the book:

...In essence, The Social Animal is a book about the human need for connection, friendship love...all of us are caught up in ..."the loneliness loop."  We yearn for "community"; we have "the urge to merge."  When two people are having an intense conversation, their breathing synchronizes; laughing together creates a feeling joy; soldiers drilling in unison experience a surge of power.  What drives us ultimately, is the need to be understood by others. 

I believe this.

One of my favorite writers, Jan Richardson, in her book "In the Sanctuary of Women," says that our three basic needs are for food, security and love. 

I believe this as well.


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You Are What You Seek

My Power Rangers and I have been grappling with the above phrase for several days.  Then one of us led our amazing Sunday school class this morning on the same subject.  She talked about "Spiritual Materialism," which to me means the constant striving to DO more vs. accepting who were are created to BE and finding God deep within ourselves.

In the midst of all this Dave and I went to the movies on Friday to see "The Adjustment Bureau."  As you know, I love movies.  Always have.  I love the big screen.  I love being with a lot of other people but not having to talk to them.

But "The Adjustment Bureau," starring Matt Damon, one of my favorite actors (and he seems like a pretty good human being as well), is a mess. 

It depicts God and a bunch of angels dressed like 1960s IBM employees as controllers of our lives.  And the goal is to get from point A to point B.  As one of the angels says, God  (The Director) doesn't care about our emotions, just our actions. 

What?

I thought our emotions; love, hate, guilt, greed, sadness, joy, courage, to name a few, were the whole ball game.  They're what prompt our actions.   Remember when Jimmy Carter got into trouble because he confessed to lusting in his heart?

I always thought God wanted our biggest motivator of our actions to be love.

By the way, just so's you know, "The Adjustment Bureau" has a terrible ending.  It's the equivalent of the big car chase - only on foot - then it's over.

To top off this deep theological dilemma dealing with the statement "You are what you seek,"  my minister ended his communion sermon this morning with a reminder of the ending of the 1984 Sally Field movie, "Places in the Heart."

The ending takes place in an old country church in the south.  They're having communion.  (I may not have this just right because I saw the movie 27 years ago.) Sally takes the communion plate, passes it to her long dead husband.  He passes it to the man who killed him.  He passes it to a black man who was brutally murdered, he passes it to a blind man who can now see, and so on. 

One of the best movie endings - ever!


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Works of Art

Dave and I just spent a couple of days in and around Sarasota, Florida.  Most of Wednesday we toured the Ringling Museum of Art.  Quite a treat.  We covered the 50 acre campus on foot. 

Two highlights were the miniature circus display (so huge and intricate that it can't be described) and the world class art museum. 

Loved seeing the Peter Paul Rubens paintings.  As you know, all of his people are chubby, even the starving ones.

But the totally fun art work was this statue at the Sarasota pier.  We all know it well from W.W.II.  It's called "Total Surrender."  That's me next to it in the second photo so you can get an idea of the size.

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A Couple of the Things He Said Made Sense

Last night we watched the last half of CNN's Piers Morgan interview with Charlie Sheen.  Very, very sad.   

We're watched a few "Two and a Half Men" episodes but, after a while, we just couldn't take it anymore.  Every character on the show is self centered and narcissistic. (What is it about us that we want to see this?)  I think it would be cool and funny if at least one of them lived in the "clean" world.  

But all that's probably a moot point now.

Along with all of the weirdness, Charlie said two things last night that hit home.

- At it's inception the network modeled Charlie Harper after him (Charlie Sheen.)  Well, duh.  We (the audience) knew this from the get-go.

- After watching a clip of Anderson Cooper introducing his up coming show featuring Gaddafi and the conflict in Libya, Charlie allowed as how that's the villian the American people should be dwelling on - not him! 

I couldn't agree more.

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Pride

Dear Abby's column last week ran a letter from a 16 year old girl who attends a private school.  Her problem is that her parents are planning to give her a 2001 car and she can't stand the humiliation of driving this old car to school. 

OK, let's give her a break because she's 16.

My minister finished up an excellent series of sermons this last Sunday.  He dealt with subjects like worry, guilt and loneliness. Sunday he spoke about pride.

Every one of these sermons has spoken to me personally.  Of course, not all pride is bad.  But our need to compare ourselves with others is sometimes crippling.  It's certainly a large part of our big economic meltdown.

Dave and I both feel called to live a simple life - and not use more resources than we need.

I drive a 2000 Toyota Camry.  I like my car but it's older and smaller than anybodys' I know.  When I occasionally need to valet park, none of the guys seem eager and excited to drive my car.

I have an old kitchen.  However, all of the appliances work and, besides that, I don't cook.  But there is pressure to get a new kitchen. When I'm honest with myself, the only motivation to remodel is pride.


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Unknown

I've had a bit of a stressful week, to say the least.  But I don't want to talk about that.  I want to talk about the movie, Unknown.

It is Unknown to me why this movie was number one at the box office this weekend.  We saw it yesterday.  We just wanted a little diversion.  It didn't work. 

As you know, my first priority in movies is to not be bored.  I was bored!  But the reason is not Unknown to me.

It is Unknown why Liam Neeson keeps making these action films.  He's 58 years old (and looks every bit of it in this movie.)  Those of you who read this blog regularly know that in two short years Liam Neeson will be elderly.  I think he is a fine actor and so good as a sad, suffering, introspective character.

Unknown has no humor.  Well, in one scene when he's in the bedroom with the cab driver, who, by the way, is the only interesting person in the movie, Liem and the cabby have a sweet, funny time for about 10 seconds until the shooting starts.

It's a complicated plot with a great reveal.  You'd think that would keep a person on the edge of his/her seat but NO.  By the time it comes, we don't care.  We just want it to be over.

January Jones is her usual beautiful, snarky self.

Unknown is not a total lose., between the car chases, shootings, fights and things blowing up, there are some great scenes of a lovely, snowy Berlin. 


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Turkish Valentine

Dave and I always have a romantic Valentine's dinner on Park Avenue.  But, of course, not on Valentine's night because it's too crowded.  That's "Rookie's Night Out."  All of the romantic folks who never eat out choose that night. 

So we had our romantic dinner on Tuesday instead of Monday.   We wanted to do something different so we went to the Turkish restaurant, Bosphorus.

We sat outside, as always, and, since we were clueless, asked our young Turkish waiter, in this country four years, to order for us.  We'd seen people with great mounds of strange food and bread but we're light eaters so we needed expert help. 

I started out with a glass of Turkish white wine.  Cankaua, Kavallidere.  That's either the name of the wine or where it came from - or both.

Next, we shared an appetizer called Mucver.  It was zucchini patties pan fried with fresh herbs and spices, service over greens, with yogurt sauce on the side. De-lish!

For an entree we shared Grilled Lamb Adana Kebab.  Freshly ground lamb with peppers char-grilled, served with rice, shredded carrots, red cabbage and onions.  Also delish.

Sitting, as we do, on the street we almost always see somebody we know walk by.  Sure enough, an acquaintance stopped by to chat about the middle east.

What a romantic, relevant, international Valentine dinner.

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