Scarcity Mindset

 

 A scarcity mindset is characterized by a belief that one has limited resources or is unable to provide for themselves and others. 

From birth, and then the next several decades, I had a scarcity mindset.  I know why, and I've worked hard to overcome it.  Everyone knows I struggle with buying gifts for rich people. I have absolutely no idea what to buy.  However I'm perfectly comfortable buying things for people in need and giving to my favorite charities. 

Many years ago I had a friend who was a bishop in the United Methodist Church.  He called me one day asking for my help.  A former Methodist minister had been released from prison after serving several years.  The bishop had found the minister a mobile home and was asking my help in stocking the minister's new place.  I was all over that.  I knew exactly what was needed.  We got a list together in a hurry. 

I love Jimmy Carter.  Was he our greatest president?  No.  Is he an outstanding human being? Yes. 

His wife, Rosalynn, died recently and some of the stories told at her eulogy reminded me of myself.  Here are a couple.  Her grandson told about how Rosalynn gave each of her grandchildren a card with $20 in it.  He was 45 years old and still receiving the card and money.  I love that story.  Sounds familiar. 

But the next story was my favorite.  They were on a plane, Rosalynn Carter and family members.  After a while, she opened her big bag a pulled out a jar of pimento cheese, a knife and a loaf of bread.  She proceeded to make sandwiches for her family members and then made them for several other passengers. 

That so sounds like something I would have done years ago.  And maybe I did, but just don't remember. 

This morning I tidied up my bathroom closet.  The last thing I did was count the rolls of toilet paper on the closet shelf.  There were 17 rolls.  That is a huge symptom of a scarcity mindset.  So guess I still have work to do. 

***

I Love Pop-UP Books

 

Since the day they were invented, I have loved pop-up books.  I have a copy of  the first pop-up add in a magazine.  The explanation of how it was formed was quite complicated.  It's artistry.   

Many years ago I became the owner of the state-of-the art book "Christmas in New York."  I thought I bought it from the Metropolitan Museum of Art but, in researching for this blog posting, that doesn't seem to be the case. It's magical and complicated on every single page.

The Christmas after receiving the book, I ordered four of them for friends and family.  They were pricey.  To my knowledge, no one loved the book like I did, other than my dear friend, Harry Welch.  But he, also, was magical and complicated.

Fast forward many years.  A week or so ago, at a small family gathering, my grandson, Ken gave me an amazing gift.  It is a companion piece to "Christmas in New York."  Both are written by Chuck Fischer, with paper engineering by Bruce Foster.  "Christmas Around the World" features New York, Boston and London.

If you visit me, you can look at my Christmas Pop-Up books.  They are always out.  
 

                    

 

***

Merry New Yorker Christmas

 

As you know, because I've quoted them so many times, I love my New Yorker magazines.  I love the crazy long articles when they're about something I find interesting.  I love the smart cartoons and the smart satire "Shouts and Murmurs."

The fiction is something else.  I learned a long time ago that the story, whatever it is, will not end well.  In fact, they usually just end.  There's no wrap up.

The fiction in my November 20th issue, "According to Alice," takes the cake.  Weird was the word in my head while reading.  It had elements of the Christmas story with an emphasis on Mary.  But she does not come off as the mother of Jesus we know.  Nor does Jesus come off as Jesus.   Ir's just a crazy word salad.

Mary wasn't allowed to ascend to heaven, because she was a woman.

 What?

It wasn't until after reading the story that I finally understood what was happening.  Canadian writer Sheila Heti, put this "story" together.   But she didn't write it.  It was written by a customized chatbot.  To create the story she asked the chatbot questions, some of them leading and some open ended, to which its answers were never more than a sentence long. She then removed her part of the conversation. and threaded together the chatbot's answers. 

The interpretation of scripture is difficult enough for those of us who call ourselves Christian.  When we throw Artificial Intelligence into the mix, it's a convoluted mess.  

My fall-back Christmas story still begins with....Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little lord Jesus lay down his sweet head.

***

Dante's Inferno

 

First, please know that I love my computer.  Currently, It is my window to the world.  And, second, please know that I love Apple Support.  And, third, remember that I have Meniere's Disease and cannot tolerate loud noise or bright lights.  

But, about ten days ago I lost my Wi Fi on my Mac.  That doesn't sound like the end of the world.  However, after several days of Apple support on my phone, they gave up and made an appointment for me at the Apple Store in the Altamonte Springs Mall. 

This turned out to be several trips.  I tried to keep good thoughts, primarily because these guys and gals are geniuses.  I was at the Genius Bar.  What could go wrong?

That's where the Dante's Inferno, first circle of hell comes in.  That first circle is Limbo!  I knew before going to the Apple Store the first time that I was stepping into trouble.  A couple of hours later I was fried and had to leave.  I could hear Johnny Cash's words in my head, "I fell into a burning ring of fire." 

The store is beautiful.  But it is brightly lit; the entire back wall is a screen.  The roar of the crowd is out the door.  I can't imagine anyone being comfortable in there, but they were.  It was jammed packed each time I went.  And each time it took several hours for me to calm down.  

But, finally, it was over.  And I'm back in my quiet home with my Mac. I survived Dante's circle.

Once in a while someone asks me if I'm considering having some kind of home help care. The answer is Yes!  I'd like to have an IT guy move in.

***

The Crocs Want to be Writers

 I love Stephan Pastis' comic strip, Pearls Before Swine.  My favorite characters are the crocodiles. They are charming, clueless predators, but they are so inept that they frighten no one.  They live next door to a zebra who's name is Zebra. They are constantly hatching up plots to kill and eat Zebra, but Zebra is unimpressed. 

It's not that the crocs don't kill and eat.  Once they had to get real jobs at a Starbucks like coffee place but got fired for eating one of the customers. 

And what's with the baby talk?  Their wives and children speak perfect English.  It's only the dads who are incapable of uttering a normal sentence.

In this strip one of them is sensing a rejection of his book proposal, so he decides to reject the editor instead.  I, personally, think the editor might have accepted the croc's proposal because I find their dialogue to be extremely entertaining. 

A couple of weeks ago I had a lovely interaction with my publisher/editor.  She was encouraging and gave me great advice.

***

War, What Is It Good For?

 In a very old Seinfeld episode Elaine, who was working for a publisher at the time, suggested the novel "War and Peace" be renamed "War, What is it Good For?"  As you can imagine, it was not well received. 

To me, our current situation in the middle east is a great example of Elaine's quote.  Especially since we have thousands of scholars who consider themselves middle eastern experts. What's currently happening is not a recent problem. It flairs up every few years.  

I wonder if these scholars remember the Abraham story in Genesis, the first book in the Old Testament, and its implications for Israel and Palestine.  Abraham's wife Sarah couldn't conceive so she gifted Abraham with her handmaiden, Hagar, who some suggest was Egyptian. Hagar soon had a son, Ishmael.   Sarah then went on to have twelve sons of her own. And that was the beginning of three major world wide religions, Islam, Judaism and Christianity.

So, let's start with sibling rivalry, and proceed from there.  And, instead of compiling our daily enemies list, let's think about how to help solve the world's problems with our words instead of killing. 

So now, let's clap our hands and sing:

Father Abraham had many sons.......Many son had Father Abraham

I am one of them and so are you.......So let's just praise the Lord.

***

Water, Water Everywhere

 

My favorite theme in the arts is Redemption.  It's why, a while back, I rewatched "Pretty Woman."  This film is about two good people who both do terrible things with their lives.  It's not a spiritual, religious redemption, but, because they love each other, they both become better people. 

Last week my daughter-in-law, Angie, dropped by and brought me her copy of "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner."  I had never read it but we all know quotes or phrases from this LONG poem.  

Water. water. every where,  And all the boards did shrink;

Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink.

 Written in 1798,this was Samual Coleridge's longest poem.  You may have been forced to read it in college or high school.  Angie read it in college and loved it.  I didn't "love" it but I'm happy I plowed through.  

So, what's it about?  It's about a man who made a bad decision but, in the end, he was truly redeemed, (as in the biblical sense.) 

Ir begins when the Ancient Mariner stops a wedding guest and proceeds to tell him a long, sad story of a voyage.  During this voyage, they encounter a terrible storm and then, out of nowhere, an Albatross appears.  The crew sees it as a good omen.  The Mariner, with no explanation, kills the Albatross.  

The sailers continue to suffer and die because they're in the storm and have no water. At this point they hang the Albatross around the Mariner's neck.  The crew dies.  The Mariner lives because he bites his arm and drinks his own blood.  

Many more adventures ensue but in the end, the Mariner gives himself to God and spends the rest of his life telling others that prayer is the greatest joy in life. 

At length did cross an Albatross,  Thorough the fog it came;  As if it had been a Christian soul,  We hailed it in God's name.

Instead of the cross, the Albatross, About my neck was hung.

The self-same moment I could pray; And from my neck so free,  The Albatross fell off, and sank,  Like lead into the sea.

He loved the bird that loved the man,  Who shot him with his bow.

This story is absolutely nothing like "Pretty Woman."  It's about true redemption.

The drawings are exquisite.  

***

Gated Communities

 

Shortly after moving to my condo an old friend said to me, "You are the last person in the world I thought would live in a gated community."  I accepted this as a compliment because of the life I've tried to live and it also made me feel guilty for a time. 

But I got over it.  I'm now vulnerable so I don't resent the cameras all over this place and I like the gate.  I'm sure it's more of a psychological help than anything else but I'm grateful that I feel safe, especially since I'm aging in place.  

The gate is not so much about nefarious folks getting in as it is about them getting out (with our stuff.)  Our "out" gate swings inward so a vehicle must pull up to the proper spot that triggers the gate.  And it takes about ten seconds for it to fully open.    

But, some people don't have that kind of time.  For as long as I've lived here, the gate has been routinely run into and is very often in need of repair.   Big trucks, like moving vans, and regular vehicles have broken the gate numerous times.  

My friend, Christie, also lives in a gated condo community.  Her exit gate slides straight to the right.  Easy, peasy.  But it also has this big, scary sign that makes me laugh every time I drive through it. 

Maybe we need a sign like this. 

***

Finishing Well

 

I'll be 85 in December. So I'm at the half way mark in this fast changing decade. This past week I've heard an uplifting and exciting story about aging by (and for) aging folks.  This is unusual because most books about us octogenarians are   directed toward younger people who are trying to figure out what to do with mom or dad. 

 As if we, in our 80s, have given up on reading about our special needs. 

My friend, Trish, sent me one of Diane Rehm's podcasts. I miss listening to 

Diane on NPR.  But, at age 87, she's still doing her job as a podcaster.

The interview was with Leonard Dowie, the former executive editor of the Washington Post and currently a professor of Journalism and Mass Communications at Arizona State University.  And he's 80.  

So you would think that he'd be discussing all of the above with Diane.   But first he  talked about having two scary bad falls and about how he's frightened now of going up or down any stairs without rails.

He also disclosed how he loses words.  He lost one while talking to Diane. (The word was dehydrated and is a word all of us oldies need to keep in mind.)

And, he confessed to falling for a computer scam (remarkably like the one I suffered a while back.)  But, unlike me, he is a well known investigative journalist.  His latest book is titled "80 An Octogenarian's Journal."  

What does it feel like to be in our ninth decade?  It's truly a mixed bag.  Dowie reminded us that many people in their 80s are highly productive.  He mentioned President Biden who is 80, and The Rolling Stones, whose new album came out last week.  Mick Jagger is 80 and Keith Richards will be 80 on my December birthday. 

***

Methodist Preachers

 

My friend and outstanding clergy leader, Jim Harnish, shared some exciting news on Facebook yesterday.  The Florida Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church has received a $1,249,273 grant to expand the mission of the Institute of Preaching. 

I'm fortunate.  For the 25 or so years I've been attending my church, I have been blessed with excellent preaching, and highly creative worship services.  But that's not the case in every church.  I've heard some doozies in the 60 plus years I've been listening.  My husband, Ken, was an urban minister for the first nine years of his ministry so, during that time we regularly visited different churches. 

Most were great, some were offensive, others just boring (3 points and a poem.)

We were older when we, with our two preschool children, went off to seminary at Candler School of Theology.  Our third and last year there, Ken helped integrate the first United Methodist Church in Atlanta and I worked at Emory University in the development office. 

So, all of the above reminded me of a little trouble Ken got himself into.  Ken was kind of ahead of his time and was in trouble often but he liked to call it "good trouble" like John Lewis.

At Candler, students designed the mid-week worship service in the chapel.  When it was Ken's turn he wanted it to be "real."

That year, 1966, the blockbuster movie Alfie came out.  (It was remade in 2004.)  The earlier version starred British film icon, Sir Micheal Caine.  He played a limo driver who was a wildly promiscuous, selfish womanizer.  And the ending was ambivalent.  If we'd had ratings at that time, Alfie would have received a definite R. 

The movie plot was not part of the service but Ken thought the song, written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David was perfect for his fellow seminarians.  However, several of the professors were not amused. 

I think it would have fit right in with Pastor Rachel's sermon last Sunday. 

What's it all about Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live?

 

What's it all about
When you sort it out, Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?

And if, if only fools are kind, Alfie
Then I guess it is wise to be cruel

And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie
What will you lend on an old golden rule?

As sure as I believe there's a heaven above
Alfie, I know there's something much more
Something even non-believers can believe in

I believe in love, Alfie

Without true love we just exist, Alfie
Until you find the love you've missed
You're nothing, Alfie

When you walk let your heart lead the way

And you'll find love any day Alfie, Alfie

 

Live Like You Were Dying

David Miller, the senior pastor at my church, FUMC Winter Park, began his sermon last Sunday by quoting a few lines from Tim McGraw's hit song from a couple of years ago.

He said “I was in my early 40’s 

With a lot of the life before me

When a moment came that stopped me on a dime

So what would you do if you learned you were a short timer on this planet?  

Yesterday I watched an episode of "Family Feud."  One of the questions was "What would you do if you were given one million dollars and had one week to live?" The answers were outrageous.  Buy a big house or a horse or a luxury car.

Last Sunday David Miller was preaching on the book of James 4:13-17. 

James 4:14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

I am old.  I'm aware that I'm a short timer on this planet.  I don't find this upsetting.  There are so many things I can't do but, along with that, I no longer want to do.  I have no interest in sky diving or riding a bull named Fu Man Chu. I have no interest in endless discussions about my health issues (or your health issues.)  But I try to live in a way that provides meaning and purpose to me and others every single day.  It makes me happy.

Tim McGraw continues...

I went sky diving

I went Rocky Mountain climbing

I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu

And I loved deeper

And I spoke sweeter

And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin

And he said “Some day I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dyin’

Because we all are.  

***

Computer Catastrophe

 A week or so ago I started having McAfee pop ups.  McAfee is a computer security company.  Its job was to protect my computer.  I did everything I knew to get rid of the pop ups but nothing worked. 

So I called McAfee.  Again, it's a security company.  A nice lady got on my computer.  It took me 15 minutes or so to realize this was not McAfee.  My computer was being attacked - big time!!

They went to town on it.  I asked them to get off several times, tried to shut it off, etc.  They ignored me.  Toward to end, which was at least an hour, they wanted to charge me $499.99 and this would allow me to use them to "protect" my Mac for the next five years.  Yes, I did know at that point that they were crooks.  

So, it may seem strange but I got out my credit card and paid them.  Yes, it was stupid but I was in such bad shape I would have paid them almost ANYTHING to get them off my computer.

By that time I was having a full blown anxiety attack but I managed to call Vanguard.  They'd already had so many attempts to get into my account that Vanguard had put a lock on it.  I said, great.  Leave it on until I call you back.  Same thing with my bank. 

Then, as one of my favorite stand up comics, Leann Morgan, says, "I had to take to the bed."

But the next morning I was ready for battle.  I called Apple Support.  I wanted them to screen share with me. They had a really tough time getting in but we eventually made it happen.  

By the way, no one should ever be allowed to remotely change things on your computer.  Apple gets in but does not make changes.  They have a little arrow pointing me to where I should click.  We worked together for a couple of hours to get rid of these bad guys and clean up the computer.  The invaders were like the movie "Everything, Everywhere, All at Once."  (By the way, in the Meniere's Disease groups I'm a part of, they warned us patients not to see this movie; that it would bring on an attack.  I haven't seen the movie but, unfortunately had the real life experience.)

 After Apple assured me the villains had been vanished, I changed all my important passwords.  Then called my bank that's associated with my credit card and filed a claim for them to delete the $499.99 charge.  After investigating, they did.  I also requested a new credit card and deactivated the old one.

I then contacted Experian and the other  two credit companies, and had my accounts frozen.  

Yesterday morning I looked at my online bank account and found that these people had re-applied the $499.99 with my card.  So I called the fraud line once more.  It took a couple of hours but I filed another claim.  When we were finishing up on the phone the Fraud person said this was a popular "computer pirate" and they preyed on a particular demographic.  I said "you mean as in little old ladies?"  He laughed. 

***

 

Windex and Aquaphor

 

I've spent the entire summer, so far, doing a head to toe workout in the pool five mornings a week.  Along with my fellow swimmers, we've seen the weather and pool temp go from chilly, to just right, to HOT.  The pool is hotter than the air.  

Consequently, I have had rash problems.  I slather myself with suntan lotion before swimming and slather myself with other lotion after my swim and shower.

I also wear a long sleeve swim jacket, and a big billed hat so the only part of my body that's exposed are my legs.  

But I still have to tend to the rash.  However, I've found the best lotion to apply.

Aquaphor has been recommended by my dermatologist and my smart, good friend, Christie.  On Saturday when I had my weekly breakfast with Christie (not my dermatologist) she reminded me of the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."  

Remember how the dad used Windex as a miracle drug?  He used it for any illness from psoriasis to poison ivy.  He said it cured his swollen big toe overnight AND he recommended it for rashes.   

I'm not using Windex but Aquaphor makes a big difference on my skin issues.  However, it isn't perfect.  I think it's half secret magic healing ingredients and half Gorilla Glue.  It smooths my skin but takes hours to get absorbed. 

But it's probably better than Windex. 

***

You Gotta Know the Territory

 

The Upper Room used to publish these journals full of wisdom and Bible quotes, along with lavish pictures and plenty of space for my own journaling. 

I found this one a few days ago and it's been fun and meaningful to read through all of the above. 

I had a lot going on in 2001!  Along with care giving, I was leading groups, writing and doing all sorts of super human things. 

And I was in therapy because, some days, I wasn't sure I could make it.  

In May of 2001, I wrote a prayer asking God to "enlarge my territory," 

 What?

This prayer also involved my asking God to keep me from evil.  Both experiencing it or doing it!  And, last week, as  I continued to read, I realized I would repeat this prayer only with a little different language.  Sometimes I wrote, "Increase my area of influence."

A couple of days ago I realized I had appropriating the prayer of Jabez.

I no longer pray to have my territory enlarged, even though my world has become much smaller in the last 22 years.  Most days, my territory is right in front of me if I just pay attention. 

*** 

Dr Seuss

 

Theodor Seuss Geisel was a scholar and illustrator.  He wrote and illustrated over 60 children's books and, at the time of his death, over 600 million copies of his books had been sold. 

"Children's books" is a misnomer.  His books have lessons for all of us.

My church, FUMC, Winter Park, is doing a summer series on The Lorax.  This was Dr. Seuss' favorite. Written in 1971, it's about creation care.  We obviously haven't yet received his message.

And Pastor David, on Sunday, reminded us that God told us in Genesis to "have dominion" over the earth, by caring for every for every living thing.  It's about creation care.  We obviously haven't yet received his message...either.

I love Dr. Seuss' books.  I read many of them to my kids and we all memorized entire books.  I think I can still recite "One Fish, Two Fish."

But that's not all.  I, occasionally used Dr. Seuss' books when speaking to large groups of adults.  The only book  I've kept is "The Sneetches."  There are at least three stories in this book that we adults can fully relate to.  The story about the Sneetches has to do with our need to feel superior toward others and how we are easily taken advantage of due to this need.

Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches 

Had bellies with stars. 

The Plain-Belly Sneetches

Had none upon thars. 

Another story is about how we make the same poor decisions over and over again. 

Did I ever tell you that Mrs McCave

Had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave?

Well, she did.  And that wasn't a smart thing to do. 

You see, when she wants one and calls out, "You-Hoo!

Come into the house, Dave!" she doesn't get one

All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!

The third story in this book that I used occasionally with adults has to do with our refusal to change.  These two creatures named Zax are at an impasse due to their inability to compromise with each other or anyone else. 

Never budge!  That's my rule. Never budge in the least!

Not an inch to the west.  No an inch to the east!

I'll stay here, not budging!  I can and I will

If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!"

Dr. Seuss was a very wise man.  

Barbie"s Dream Conglomerate

 

Would you like to live in Barbie's Dream House?  You can.  Both the Dream House that was built for the new movie and the one seen below, as well as several others, are on Airbnb.  

Barbie and Ken's new movie is opening this month.  Writer, director and actor Greta Gerwig is in charge.  Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling have  the staring rolls.  

The film is not for little girls and boys who love to play with their Barbies and Kens.  It's directed toward teens and adults.  

I've just finished a long article in the current The New Yorker magazine about the Barbie/Mattel empire.  Barbie first appeared in 1959.  A Mattel employee said that Barbie had been to space before most earthly women had a credit card.  

1961 is remembered for the Bay of Pigs invasion and the creation of Ken, Barbie's boyfriend.  A Mattel executive, in speaking about the Barbie brand, said that it is aspirational, inspirational and not something you want to turn into a parody.  So we get it, this is serious business. 

In the beginning Barbie was not universally loved.  Some moms found her anatomically impossible figure inappropriately sexual.  "I am not a Barbie doll" was a popular slogan for women's rights protesters.  But Barbie was, and has continued to be, enormously popular, along with her many accessories such as homes, cars, and her amazing array of outfits for her amazing number of occupations.  In 2022 Barbie was the best selling fashion doll in the world. 

Mattel's Robbie Brenner said "If it's something that could be totemic, obviously that's a great bonus." The term "totemic," describes movies and TV shows that generate merchandising opportunities.

A fifty-dollar doll resembling Margot Robbie, who plays Barbie in the movie has already sold out; so has a seventy-five dollar model of Stereotypical Barbie's pink Corvette.  But you can still purchase Barbie candles, luggage and frozen yogurt. 

This morning I read a review that said, "If you love Barbie you'll love this movie and if you hate Barbie you'll love this movie. 

So I guess I'm good to go.

***

Dancing

 

This past Sunday, our senior pastor, David Miller, continued our series on "The Way if Jesus."  He began by telling us a story of being an RA at Wheaton, a conservative college in Illinois.  

In order to be an RA he had to sign a pledge to not drink alcohol or dance.  Because, "Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire."

He went on to emphasize that Christ's teaching is more about dos than don'ts.  We should be more concerned about what Christ is calling us to do and be. 

Dancing has been around about as long as people have.  And religious teachings have warned us about this art form all along the way.  In my lifetime movies like "Footloose" and "Dirty Dancing" have addressed these issues.  Do you remember that when Ed Sullivan had a young Elvis on stage he could only be televised from the waist up?  

Many decades ago a friend told me this story:  As a teenager she was a member of First United Methodist Church in West Palm Beach Florida.  She and her friends wanted to have a graduation party in the church basement that would include dancing.  The minister said "No" and when she asked why he couldn't give her an answer.  He told her that was the rule.  The district superintendent's office was in Miami.  So my friend, who at that time was 17 years old,  made an appointment,  got on a bus, and traveled from West Palm Beach to Miami in order to respectfully ask the district superintendent to let them dance at their party..  This was a long, arduous, 70 mile trip.  

His answer was an emphatic "NO."

I'm happy that we no longer empathize what we shouldn't do and concentrate much more on who God wants us to be. As pastor David said, "Don't is passive.  Do is proactive." I can't and shouldn't try to control others." 

Forty or so years after my friend's experience,  in that very church I, myself, led an aerobics class for women and a couple of men.  using Jane Fonda's workout tapes.  She was pretty sexy looking in those leotards but I don't think anyone was corrupted due to the workouts.  And we developed some life long relationships. 

***

Home

 

Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist, author, and speaker.  She's an expert on lifestyle and all things "home." I have enjoyed her weekly columns in the Orlando Sentinel since they started.  I'm not always interested in her subject of the day, but I love the way she writes.  She shares herself so, over the years, I've learned much about her; and I love that she lives in Winter Park, so she's practically my neighbor.  

This past Saturday she told us she's been traveling for a while and was happy to be back home.  And then she listed 21 reasons why.  Following are a few with which I can totally relate.  

1.  I like drying the dishes and and putting them away because I know where they go.

Me too!  I don't use my dishwasher.  I love warm soapy water and, after I've put the dishes away, I enjoy wiping down the stove and counter tops. 

4.  I like making the bed and turning it down; it feels like putting a pair of bookends or parentheses around the day.

So, Marni, Admiral H. William H. McRaven, who wrote the New York Times best seller, "Make Your Bed," and I agree on this one.  

6.  I like being in control of my thermostat.

At night, I like mine a 67 degrees.  

9.  I like knowing where everything is and that it is all within reach because it makes me feel like the master of my domain.

Unlike the "Seinfeld" episode, mastering my domain means I have everything I need handy.  I keep socks, hand lotion and my evening devotional under my pillow. 

12.  I like getting the morning newspaper (Yes, I still get a print paper) every day.  I find this reliable, tangible and connection to the world somehow comforting. 

Yes, I'm with Marni.  I've tried to wean myself off this extremely expensive habit, but nothing else works, not even the e Edition.  

16.  I like being around my art and objects because they stir memories and reflect my life.

Me too Marnie.  I'm kind of a minimalist but everything in my home is precious to me.  If and when it no longer is, I give it the heave ho.  I visited my neighbor's home earlier today.  It's lovely and she, too, has only objects that stir memories and give her joy. 

20.  I like cooking, whether whisking an egg, chopping a tomato, or adding spice to a simmering sauce because I like to know what is in my food. 

 I'm on a very low sodium diet and due to that. and a super sensitivity to closed in spaces with lots of people, I prepare my own meals.  I like preparing "clean" and tasty (to me) dishes.  I also eat at odd times. Why?  Because I can.

  As Marnie says, It's an ordinary life, which is what makes it extraordinary. 

****

My Lamps

 

Several decades ago, at least 40 years, I acquired six lamps exactly like the one pictured.  At that time my husband, Ken, was a United Methodist minister.  He had the reputation for being able to deal with unusually hard situations so, as this is the way the United Methodist system works, we were sent to "trouble shoot" some very difficult situations.  

He wasn't always the best minister in terms of holding the hands of little old ladies, but fixing disastrous  situations was his strong suit.  And I was right along side him, especially as we dealt with racism in the 60s and 70s in South Florida.  

During that time, ministry itself was changing.  When we were starting out, ministers mates (we just called ourselves "wives") were in a state of flux.  We were pretty much expected to be seen (often) but not heard.  

 

Our family moved often but most ministers moved often during that time.  They were seen as "itinerant" ministers, modeled after John Wesley.  

Meanwhile, I, and some other minister's wives were trying to create change within the system when it came to families.  At our annual retreats we discussed how to do this and some wives put on crazy, funny skits about going from one green shag carpet home (parsonage) to another.  

Somehow I found what I thought were these beautiful green and brass lamps and a fantastic price, so I bought at least six of them.  I loved them. I wonder if all my children remember them.   They went with everything, especially green shag carpets.  Along the way I got rid of all but two, and, until today, they've been on the night stands in my bedroom.  They are pretty much the last things I have from all those long years ago.

The United Methodist Church is still changing.  Currently, the issues are far different from whether or not wives (now mates) should work outside the home or be  chastised for not wearing pantyhose to a picnic.  The issues now are about how we love and accept others in the way Christ calls.  For the past few years we've had many troubled Florida Annual Meetings, trying to be who God's calling us to be at this point of our evolution as a world wide denomination.  

Yesterday Pastor Rachel (who, by the way, is married to another pastor and the mother of three wee little children) preached a sermon on the portion of the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus tells us not to worry.   Our senior minister, Pastor David, told us that our recent Annual Conference was the best he's attended in 35 plus years of leadership. 

So, it's time for the old green lamps to go.  I've replaced them with these little guys.  

Home Remedies

I talked with a man in the church parking lot this morning who'd just read my book.  How exciting that this is still happening from time to time.  Anyway, we had a little discussion about home remedies.  He wasn't a fan.  I am.  Are you?
 

Do you have home remedies you swear by because they work?  One of the main themes running though my book, Florida, A Love Story, is "healing."  Our lead character, Cole,  reminds us that healing is not the same a curing.  Cole saved a man's life by cleaning him up from head to toe and sewing up his gaping wound with his wife's needle and thread.  

I love home remedies for several reasons.  I grew up with no medical care.  None.  We had to just figure it out.  The Bible advocates home remedies.  John Wesley, advocated home remedies.  Some of them are referenced in my book. 

Even in this time of almost daily breakthroughs in science and medicine, home remedies are sometimes the better way to go.  During COVID, prior to the vaccine, people all over the world were saved from horrible deaths by wearing a mask and washing their hands.  

I subscribe to a group called "The People's Pharmacy."  It's all about home remedies.  One of the most popular is putting a bar of soap in your bed to cure leg cramps.  Sounds weird.  I don't understand it but it works.  Another one of their most popular remedies is eating nine raisins soaked in gin to relieve arthritus pain.  I've never tried this because I don't have arthritis.  But if I did, I would.  

I do suffer from fairly severe attacks of nausea.  My doctor gave me a strong medication to relieve it but I just couldn't tolerate it.  I now have the nausea pretty much under control by drinking massive amounts of ginger tea and wearing anti nausea wrist bands.   

In the book we address the Civil War and the horrendous suffering and death, much of which could have been avoided by washing hands.  

Yes, I do go to the doctor and I do take my prescriptions but I also sleep with a bar of soap.

***

Space

 

I'm developing a little bit of a bad attitude about our space program.  It's strange because we've had such successful blast offs in the last few months.

Some sending real astronauts to the International Space Station and some giving celebrities a ten minute thrill ride to space and back.

Why?

I understand the experiments, such as establishing the James Webb Space Telescope and growing vegetables.

But why?

I recently read an article explaining how we need to continue exploring because we've messed up our planet so badly that we're going to need another place to go.  We already have upwards of 100 trillion bits of space junk orbiting our atmosphere.   

Again, why?

Many years ago, my husband Ken, like almost every person in Florida, loved the space program.  Back then, we could see the Cape Canaveral rocket (about 50 miles away) take off from the middle of the street by our condo.  One day we were watching a potential launch on television when Ken decided he wanted to see it from the street.  He was very ill, suffering both physically and with dementia.  

I was helping him get outside when I noticed something else going on.  There was a relatively new stop sign at our corner and a lurking police officer had pulled over a woman who did not come to a complete stop.  She was sitting in the car crying and yelling at the cop.

Oh oh, I wanted no part of this.  After getting Ken out to a flat surface I said "you're on your own" and went back inside.  I could see Ken shaking his cane and trying to tell them about the lift off.  

After I watched it on the screen I looked back outside.  The woman was out of the car and the three of them were standing in a row, looking toward the sky, with their backs to the stop sign. All three of them clapped when they witnessed the take off.  

Maybe that's why.

***

Artificial Intelligence

 

What is scaring the bejeebers out of us today?  We have so much to choose from.  

We're learning that technology has hit a new threshold and soon artificial intelligence will overtake us humans. It will be breathtaking and a complete game changer.

 I just spent many days rescuing my computer from satanic invaders so I kinda get the fear factor. 

We're learning that AI will change the way we solve problems.  We're hearing that it could, on one hand, cause global extinction but, on the other hand, AI will find ways to cure cancer and bring about unprecedented positive change in all areas of our lives.

In the '80s the "Information Age" emerged.  I tried to get myself up to speed because I was invited into several companies as a consultant to encourage workers to embrace this new technology.  For instance, when computers were brought into the workplace and typewriters disapearred, many workers quit.  For a while, they found other work but then, eventually, the only person left using typewriters was Tom Hanks. 

Back then, I thought I was a little ahead of the curve but, in reality, I had no idea how much our lives would eventually change - for the better!  I'm pretty much homebound but, at all times I have my cell phone, smart watch, supersonic hearing aid, and computer.  And I have a big television with many platform layers.  

All of this fantastic technology is neither good nor bad.  People are both.  I'm counting on the worldwide network of AI experts who are working hard to develop international codes of conduct so that  that we'll all be held accountable for using this new found knowledge for good.

What if we had no more floods, hurricanes, forest fires, or chronic pain?  

*** 

God is Awesome

 

Warning.  This is a bit of a rant. 

I am attending a series of classes on grieving.  I consider the leaders to be good friends and they. too, are awesome.  The small group of hurting, grieving people has been a blessing to me each and every time I have attended.  I feel like it's holy ground.

The video that's shown each week is well done.  It moves quickly and affirms every feeling grieving people might have.  There are short messages from outstanding experts on the subject of grieving.  The videos are Christian based but our group, and others who use the videos are from various backgrounds.

What we have in common is loss and grief.  

So, what's my rant about?  Once in a while the video shares an explanation of scripture that makes me crazy. Yesterday was one of those days. 

The scripture was Psalm 139:16, You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book. "

I like this Psalm.  But it's been interpreted many ways. Many parts of the Bible are open to interpretation.  That's why we have thousands of denominations and and fringe groups.  For the most part, they're all Bible believing - but have different interpretations of scripture. 

So, yesterday,  the video quoted Ziz Ziegler.  By the time he died, in 2012 Mr. Zigler, who was a salesman, author and motivational speaker,  had built a huge, billion dollar business.  He said this on the video:  Psalm 139:16 clearly states that our life every day is measured, meaning simply-God knows the exact time that we will die. 

So, I'm looking at these suffering people and wondering what they're thinking about God having already decided when their loved one would die.  If this were so, why should we do anything to try to save lives, either our own or anyone else's?

Why did I drive my husband Ken to the dialysis center at 5:30 am, three days a week for 8 years?  Why do I exercise?  Why should I "bring my seat to an upright position" when my plane is landing?  Why should we do anything to try to save a person's life if God's already decided?

The average life expectancy in the US today is 77.28 years. in 1900 it was 47 years.  How did that happen?

A few days ago my friend's daughter was murdered.  Should I call her and tell her God was responsible?

I could go on and on.  But I know you're tired of my rant by now.

In the last 20 plus years I've had several tragic loses.  I was sometimes angry at people, including myself.  But I was never angry at God.  I don't believe he snatched up my loved ones or purposely caused my suffering.  Quite the opposite.

OK....one more thing, the ministers at my United Methodist Church are currently preaching a series based on the Book of Revelation.  As you know, it can be a scary book and has been open to many interruptions. Some of them terrifying and life scaring.  But everyone one of these sermons in this series has been exceptional. 

Here's what I know for sure.  Our God is An Awesome God.

***

Serendipity

 

This morning, while on our two mile walk, Mary and I talked about serendipity.  My favorite definition is "a happy surprise."

Later on this morning,  quite by accident,  I read the following:

In a 1754 letter, Horace Walpole explained his concept of Serendipity,... in which the royals were "always making discoveries of things which they were not in quest of."

Why do some people (like me) have a lifetime of serendipities when others seem to never have happy surprises?

The answer is, you must pay attention, have an open mind, and most importantly, be curious.  

Are you curious?  Do you ask questions - and then carefully listen  to the answer? Sad to say, a number of my peers are no longer curious. Makes me sad because they miss a lot of "happy surprises."

I met Mary last summer at the pool.  When that season was over, we began early morning walks.  A couple of neighbors have said to me they "never saw that coming."   I suppose they meant that Mary and I don't have much in common.  

We are very different in some ways but one of the traits we share, besides having lived long lives, is "curiosity."  We both pay attention and have open minds. Of course we discuss our woes from time to time but mostly, we talk about ideas, like fibonacci and serendipity.  

  I've had many happy surprises while walking with Mary. 

***

Reading Lolita in Tehran

 

In 2003 Azar Nafisi's New York Times best selling book,  Reading Lolita in Tehran was published.  It's about a women's book club.  I love this book and I love book clubs and I'm sad I can no longer attend mine.  

In Iran, in 1997, there was a huge government shut down aimed, primarily, at women.  Nafisi taught literature at the University of Tehran but, after running afoul of the mullahs, she was sent home where she secretly formed a book club for young women who had been her students. 

They read banned writers like Jane Austen and banned books like The Great Gatsby, Ulysses, Mrs. Dalloway,  and The Thousand and One Nights.  

Nafisi writes, "They took off more than their scarves and robes...Our world in that living room became our sanctuary, our self-contained universe."  

We, here in the state of Florida, should take note of all of the above. 

Fast forward to this past Saturday.  I finally got to meet Rahman Shahidi.  He's from Iran and loves his country.  He told me how, growing up, his father was very respectful of women and about how his mother is a very strong woman.  He was excited to tell me how a brave new generation is working for change in Iran.  

But, for me,  the most amazing thing he said was that, while he was visiting his family in Iran a few months ago, he read my book Florida, a Love Story, and, after reading my bio, compared me to his "strong woman" mom. Wow!

***

If you want to know more about Rahman's story, listen to The Crossman Conversation podcast titled: The Iran Special with Shirin Taber and Rahman Shahidi.

***

The Intellectual Devotional

 

Many years ago, prior to Google (the source of all knowledge,) I was given a copy of this book.  Let me begin by saying it's not a devotional.  It's a book on the seven fields of knowledge,  History, Literature, Visual Arts, Science, Music. Philosophy, and Religion. 

In other words, hard stuff.  But here's the fun part - each "devotional" is one page long.  So, if you want to learn a little bit - but not too much - about anything - here it is.

I watch an episode of  "Young Sheldon" every night to help calm me down before bed time.  Recently the science brainiac kid Sheldon is driven into a state of depression by a class on philosophy.  As you know, science is driven by facts.  

Skepticism is any set of philosophical arguments intended to undermine our belief in some alleged body of knowledge. It doesn't answer questions.  It only asks them. How do you know your experiences are real?  How do you know that other people have thoughts, feelings, and experiences?

I am a person who needs some daily intellectual stimulation, but not too much. So I'm back to reading my Intellectual Devotional.  

If I don't have much interest in a particular subject in one of these seven fields of knowledge, no problem.  It's only one page long.   The next page is on the Italian Renaissance.

***

Rapture Anxiety

 

The Book of Revelation - Scaring the Hell Out of Us for 2000  Years!

In two weeks, my church is beginning a new sermon series on the Book of Revelation.  

Pastor David introduced it yesterday by discussing "Rapture Anxiety." This is considered by many mental health professionals as a type of religious  trauma.  He shared that he, himself, had Rapture Anxiety due to the way he was raised and asked those in the congregation to raise their hands if they suffered from Rapture Anxiety,  My hand shot up!

The fear of being "Left Behind" is real and has been exploited by various church leaders, writers and movie makers.  Generally speaking, the rapture, a fear based concept, is not a part of main line denominations. 

 In 2006 I was invited to lead a study on the Book of Revelation.  After explaining to Pastor Jayne all of the reasons I could not do this, she told me those reasons were why I needed to lead the study.  So, about thirty of us spent a couple of months studying the book.  And Pastor Jayne was right.  It was a big help.  

It's a difficult, mysterious book that's been interpreted in all kinds of ways.  If you Google it you'll find over 195,000,000 sites!  

Pastor David shared some great insights yesterday, including the fact that the word "Rapture" is not in the Bible.  He also discussed the tree of life in Genesis and the tree of life in in Revelation.  

The Beginning and the End.

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  In his final speech, shortly before he was murdered, he shared that he might not be around to see the Promised Land with us - but that we would see it. He shared,

Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory of the Coming of the Lord...  Words based on the Book of Revelation

*** 

Hugh Hefner and I Are Scrap Bookers

 On September 6, 2013, I wrote a blog entry titled Hugh Hefner is a Scrap Booker. It became one of my readers' all time favorites.  I love it too.  

According to the Guinness World Records - Hefner had the worlds's largest collection of personal scrap books.  At that time he was working on Volume 2,685. 

There are three words you would never use to describe me:  Crafty, spontaneous. or trendy.  

But, about a year ago, some family members cleaned out my attic.  We threw away almost everything but there were some fun surprises,; like photos, paintings and a box containing letters that my husband, Ken, had written to his mom.   A handful were written when he was in college, but the majority were written while he was in the Army and stationed in Germany from 1956 to 1958.  To my knowledge, they'd never been read by anyone but his mother.  

I'm sure one reason was  that Ken's handwriting was notrously atrocious. It ended up being about 80 letters, a few of them twelve pages long.  I began deciphering them in the early spring.  It took months to finish that phase.  Then I started designing two scrape books:  one small, at six pages and one larger, at about thirty pages.

I tried to keep them upbeat and positive, especially, since I was giving the books to my children for Christmas.  I learned so much that I had not known about this man to whom I was married for 44 years. 

The hard part, for me, was shopping at Office Depot for the right books and trimmings, a chore that's not in my wheelhouse. 

When Joel Stein interviewed Hugh Hefner in 2013, Hef was wearing his signature (but bizarre) uniform consisting of a captain's, hat and a red silk robe over black p.j.s and slippers.  But, as Joel Stein said, it was the perfect scarp booking outfit.  

I don't remember what I wore for this project, but I'm certain it wasn't red silk. 

***