The Urban Dictionary

A few weeks ago my minister, Bob, said that, when he was in a restaurant with his son, and thanked the waiter...the waiter in return said "no problem."

I've been known to get a little irritated with wait staff overusing the phrase "No, problem."  So has Bob.  But his son, who teaches English at a college up north, essentially told Bob he needs to lighten up.

"No problem" means "you're welcome."  Who knew?

New words and phrases are popping up all the time so how can we keep up?  Try the Urban Dictionary.  This web based dictionary contains more than seven million definitions.  But urban slang isn't for everybody, so be forewarned.

Here's a little example for you:  fo shizzle ma nizzle" means I concur with you wholeheartedly my African American brother.  But I don't plan to use this (first) phrase - ever!

So why should we care?  Last week on NPR they did a piece on the court system prior to the Urban Dictionary.  In more than one case the perpetrator was released when the victim wasn't able to use the correct terminology to describe the crime.  Urban slang didn't cut it.  Even when a woman was describing her own body parts.

Prior to Urban Dictionary attorneys had to hire people to determine the meaning of fast changing urban slang.  Most clients couldn't afford it so cases were lost.

So I'm going to lighten up when the guy in the restaurant says "no problem" and assume he means "you're welcome."

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Super Heroes, Aging Like the Rest of Us

This Guy Looks Good for 75

AVENGERS

X MEN

My younger grandsons and their dad love their super heroes.  But, like all the rest of us, they're aging.  Both The Avengers (Hulk, Ant-Man, Wasp, Thor and Iron Man) and The X-Men (Marvel Girl, Angel, Professor Xavier, Beast, Cyclops and Iceman) were created in 1963.  50 years ago!

Since that time other characters have been added, but the originals are eligible for AARP.

Even older are the veteran super heroes, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Captain America.  They range in age from 75 to 71.  I'm glad they're still up to protecting us.

Following are some other significant Birthday boys and girls.  All still looking good as well.

CONAN O'BRIEN 50

CAROL BURNETT 80

GARY BURGHOFF (RADAR) 70

Montreal's Hotel 10

My New Pink Hoodie

Old and New Architecture

When we decided that, at the end of our cruise, we would stay in Montreal for a few days Dave got on the computer to find a hotel.  He went to one of those bargain sites.  One of those that don't tell you what hotel you're booking until after you've booked.  Scary!

Lobby

Our Room

Distorted Mirror

Dave zeroed in on the location he wanted, he chose a 4 - star hotel, a range of prices and the number of nights.  Then - Click!

Up popped Hotel 10.  We liked it.  But everybody our age would not like it.  It's definitely a hipster hotel. Edgy.  Contemporary.  Dave loves contemporary.

When we registered Dave said to the desk clerk...

Atrium

I read all the comments about the hotel, almost all very positive but there were a few negative comments that concern me - and I'll bet you know what I'm talking about.

The clerk (who looked exactly like Jude Law) replied, "Yes, we'll try to find you a quiet room."  And they did.

At the corner of Sherbrook and Saint Laurent, the location is good.  If you walk one direction on Saint Laurent it's about two miles to the river.  And you pass through restaurants, theaters, China Town, and then reach Saint Paul, a street full of tiny old shops and outdoor dining.

If you walk the opposite direction on Saint Laurent you will pass restaurants and shops for blocks on end.

Hipster Rihanna Leaving Hotel 10

At 5:00 P.M. on the day we arrived we had wine and played cribbage in the atrium next to the lobby.  Not much happening - only two other couples in the room.  (But defiantly hipsters!)

But the next day when Jude asked us how we slept, he said that there were 1,300 people in the atrium until closing at 3 A.M.  All hipsters, I'm sure. I kinda wish I'd gone down there so I could show off my new pink hoodie.

By the way, our super saver room rate was $87.00 per night, plus the extras.  Way, way lower than the regular rates.


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An Old Friend Died

Cess & Diane, 1956

When we got home from our cruise I learned that my close friend from high school, Phoebe Diane Bowman Comstock had died in Indianapolis.

This is what Diane and I had in common in high school.  We were both relatively poor, both without mothers, and both with fathers who had serious issues of their own.  (Although Diane's father did some loving things for Diane, like moving to an apartment close to Butler University when it was time for college.)

We were kids on our own.  Decades later we wondered at how we remained relatively good girls and kept our noses to the grindstone.

Well, we also had this in common:  We were both smart.  But Diane knew it.  It took me a while to figure it out about myself.

Diane went to Butler, married a brilliant, exciting, high maintenance man and had a long, distinguished career as head of the English Department at the very high school we attended.

I got a job, went to business college, married a brilliant, exciting, high maintenance man and left town.

Forty years later, though the magic of technology, we reconnected.  We became great pen pals.  What could we possibly have in common?

Literature. Not all readers love to write - but all writers love to read. We e-mailed things to each other no one but a literary nut would understand.

One day I wrote her about having to stop in a very small town while traveling through the south to put my husband, Ken, in the hospital for a few hours. I described to her how I had breakfast at 6 AM in a red neck cafe with six men wearing bib overalls.

Her reply: "How Eudora Weltyish of you."

Years later, after seeing yet another adaptation of "The Great Gatsby" at the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, and after having just re-read it for my book club, I wrote Diane complaining about how sick I was of Gatsby and how I no longer thought it was the great American classic.

She lit into me.  I was forced to learn even more  little Gatsby symbolic nuisances.

The last time I saw Diane, about six years ago, I flew to Indianapolis and spent the day with her.  She was ill but we got her wheelchair into my rental car, drove downtown and I pushed the chair for blocks while she pointed out new parts of the city.  We stopped in a bar for lunch and had burgers and fries.

It was a fun day for both of us.

Good bye Phoebe Diane.


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Back to Quebec City

I promised you that, after I'd come home and finished the laundry, I'd share more about our great time in Quebec City last week.

The laundry's done.

FRANCOIS

What can we say about this city other than.....it's gorgeous (see photos,)  it's old (founded in 1608) and it's French.  One writer has called it charming with a dash of haughtiness.

On our second day there we arrived at our small tour bus to find a seriously handsome sophisticated guy with a dreamy French accent, dressed as a tour guide.  And his name is Franscois.  My first thought was, "I'll bet he has an interesting story."

Turns out he does.  He was a TV commentator for the Quebec City hockey team.  The team left town, and, as a life long (and, as it turns out, centuries old) Quebec City resident, Franscois didn't want to leave.  So he reinvented himself as a tour guide.

FUNICULAIRE

The city goes from the St. Lawrence River, straight up the side of a steep hill so, if you're game for it you can walk up the steps, and, if not, you can take the funiculaire (kind of like a ski lift.)  On our first day we took the funiculaire up and walked down.  Both fun.

The second level of the city has a spectacular boardwalk.

BOARDWALK

In the top photo - and, by the way, Dave took all of these photos except the first one - to the left, is a park called "The Plains of Abraham."  A famous battle was fought here.  The first time Dave saw it he asked the guide, "Does the name have a religious significance?"  The guide said, "No, it's just named after a guy named Abraham who owned the field."

DOWNHILL TO ST. LAWRENCE RIVER

FRANCOIS DOING HIS THING

But, of course, the crown jewel of Quebec City is the massive Chateau Frontenac Hotel.  If you want to stay there, book early.  It's everybody's favorite spot in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

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CHATEAU FRONTENAC HOTEL

Up East in Newport

The land was ours before we were the land's.  She was our land more than a hundred years before we were her people.  She was ours in Massachusetts, in Virginia, but we were England's, still colonials...
     From "The Gift Outright" by Robert Frost

This morning, as part of my two hours of reading, I re-read part of Robert Frost's poem from the Kennedy inauguration.  I was a big time Kennedy person.  For a short time, I believed in Camelot.  But, both before and after Camelot, I was fascinated by the Kennedy Clan.  Still am.

So I was excited when our cruise ship stopped at Newport, Rhode Island.  This is where John Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier were married on September 12, 1953.  As you can see, the plaque outside St. Mary's Catholic Church, tells us that this is the place.

Jackie spent much of her childhood in Newport at one of her parents' many homes.  I can understand why.  Newport is exquisitely beautiful.  Dave and I walked for miles.  I think we covered the entire town.

A couple of years after the Kennedy wedding, when I was attending Tech High School in Indianapolis, two brothers, both U.S. senators, came to Butler University to speak.  Any Tech students who were interested could attend.

I'm so happy I took advantage of that invitation and got to hear John and Robert speak, well before they became famous and well before Camelot.

Here are John and Jackie, along with Robert, Teddy and others, on their wedding day in Newport.  They absolutely had plans for their future but, as we all know now, they had no idea what what life had in store.



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The Go Along Spouse

As you know, I followed my husband, Ken, all over Florida.  When I was young, it was never even a question as to who the "Go Along Spouse" would be.  It's what women had been doing since time began.

But things have changed.  Twenty years ago, when my daughter graduated from law school, her husband moved with her to Atlanta where she accepted a job in a prestigious law firm.  Since then life has become way more complicated, but they're still compromising and they're both fantastic "hands on" parents to four children.

One of the best things on a cruise, for Dave and me, is getting to know other people.  Especially folks from all over the world.  Pictured here is a family that delighted us.  Almost every day we saw Steve and his son, 14 month old Thomas.  Whether they were in the Lido with Steve balancing plates of food on a stroller or around the pool where Thomas was everywhere, Steve seemed to be a happy, attentive, "hands on" dad.

And a good thing too because wife and mom, Laura, is the 4th officer, and the only woman,  on the bridge.  We were especially grateful for Laura's expertise as a navigator one afternoon.  Using instruments, she guided the pilot of our tender taking us to shore on a day when the fog was as thick as pea soup.

This beautiful family has been on the ship since January.  That's five months.  They plan to keep this up until Thomas starts to school.

Then they'll go home to the UK and Steve will get back to his career in environmental studies.

What an exciting plan!


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Quebec City

Fifteen years or so ago, when I whined a little bit about not being able to travel and maybe never getting to go to Europe, my friends would say, "Try getting to Quebec City.  It's the next best thing."

And I would think "Nice try - but Canada isn't France!"

And then, in my 60s,  with my darling companion (as June Carter Cash used to say) I did get to travel all over Europe and beyond and it's been everything I'd ever hoped for .

And now this trip to Canada!  This morning we woke up in Quebec City.  After breakfast we walked about four miles through the old city.  My friends were so right.  Old and French.  

We walked up hill to the Le Chateau Frontenac Hotel, opened in 1893.  Pictured here, it's huge.  Dave decided that instead of sleeping on the ship tonight he would get us a room in the hotel.  However, after inquiring about the cost, we decided not.  But it was fun to hang out in the lobby.  

We've booked a tour for tomorrow morning so we won't miss anything. 

Our cruise line, Holland America, goes all over the world but passengers have voted Quebec City the number one port of all.  I can see why.  

Tomorrow night we sail to Montreal.  We'll fly home on Monday.  After I do some laundry, I'll share with you some magnificent photos Dave took of Quebec City today.  It's just like being in Europe. 

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Ah, Wilderness

As Stefon on Saturday Night Live would say,

"This trip has everything!"

High winds, drizzle, 45 degree highs - tiny Canadian port towns - and last night's Broadway type show featured a flutist.  But we've had a good time.  Night before last we had dinner with a couple from Australia.  Last night we dined with a couple from Lake Mary, Florida - which is right up the road from where we live.

We're currently on the 12th day of our cruise.  It will end on day 15 in Montreal.  We'll be sad to leave the ship but will enjoy a few of days in that great city before flying back to Florida.

This morning, as we were walking in a small French port village - by the way we're averaging seven miles walking per day - I asked Dave to tell me about one of his favorite Canadian vacations with his wife and kids.  He's famous for his camping adventures.  Here's what he told me.

When his kids were about 9 and 11 Dave saw an ad in the newspaper for a "Canadian Wilderness Lake Vacation."  He was excited.  When he wrote saying they'd like to try it, the reply asked "Do you need a motor?"  Since they weren't planning to fish, he wrote back "No."

After a few days traveling north, they arrived at the wilderness lake.  Nothing there but a row boat with one oar.  Since Dave had declined the motor they just waited.  About an hour later somebody arrived, and, eventually they got to their cabin.  This resort consisted of four cabins, one room each.  Plus a lodge.  The lodge was simply a bigger cabin.  Only one of the other cabins was occupied, plus the care taking couple who stayed in the "lodge."  A this point I asked.

"What did you do?"

Dave wasn't sure but said it was fun.  "Why?" I asked.  Well, he says, the four beds in the room were really cool, made from wood carvings and they had red Canadian blankets.

"Did you have an inside or outside bathroom?"

Dave doesn't remember.  It didn't seem important to him.

"Did you have electricity?"

Oh yes, they had a generator.  But it went off at 10 pm.

"You must have gotten really cold."

"We had blankets."

Again,   "What did you do."

Dave said they took the row boat around to other deserted islands and looked for "things."  They picked blueberries.  The blueberries were big.

"Did you make cobbler?"

No, they had no way of making cobbler.  But they did have an ice box.  Every morning the caretaker brought in a big chunk of ice.

"But what did you do?"

In the lodge (the bigger cabin) was a sauna.  The caretaker stacked wood   About 4:00 PM it was fired up and the sauna got really hot.  (This doesn't sound dangerous at all!)  They would lie in the sauna and get really hot and then jump in the ice cold lake.  Once when they did this Dave came up out of the lake with leeches all over his legs.

Now that sounds like fun!

I'm so grateful that Dave got that kind of vacation out of his system and I'm so grateful to be sitting here in the library of this luxury cruise ship, even if it is still a bit leaky for the big storm.

Tonight is formal night.


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Charleston

The city's two rivers, the Ashley and the Cooper, have flooded and shaped all my life in this storied peninsula.  From "South of Broad"

In Pat Conroy's book, "South of Broad", he calls Charleston "The Mansion on the River."  We spent a nice afternoon in Charleston a few days ago.  Since we're on a cruise, I've, of course, lost all sense of time and place.  The only way I know the day is by looking at the carpet in the elevators.  So the above is approximate.

We took a guided tour.  The guide was good.  Born and raised in Charleston, he was funny and certainly knows the city.  But I had a little trouble with his jokes.  To me, he was a little bit shy of racist and a little bit shy of sexist.

When we reached Broad Street I was waiting for him to talk about Pat Conroy, one of our great southern writers.  Conroy has written many well known novels about the south, including "The Great Santini"  and "Prince of Tides." His last book "South of Broad" was all about Charleston;   This book sort of did for Charleston what "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" did for  Savannah.

All of the homes on our tour were lovely and old.  But, since reading Conroy's book, I know that living "south of Broad" means that you've arrived.  That you are somebody.  Living in a similar house north of Broad?  Not so much.

But when we stopped and I asked the tour guide why he didn't mention Conroy, he said, "We don't like him.  We don't mention his name."

"What??  I guess you feel the same way about Stephen Colbert."

"No, he's not so bad".  And, then, as if to make amends with me he said,

"I'm not supposed to tell you this but his mother lives right down this street."

My guess is that Mrs. Colbert isn't thrilled about having her house pointed out.  So I'm not going to tell you if she lives north or south of Broad.


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Sea Sick

It's the third day at sea.  We're traveling from Fort Lauderdale to Montreal.  A 15 day cruise.  The sail away party was great.  The rest is a blur.

A big storm.  As George Castanza said on "Seinfield,"  The sea was angry that day, my friend. 

Watching folks come into the theater last night was like seeing drunken sailors dressed like elegant little old ladies.  Lots of lurching.  Then water gushed from an upstairs room, down the winding staircase from the balcony.  Startling, but the crew took it in stride.

I'm having to choose between those little pills they're handing out at the front desk and consciousness.  Should I risk not keeping my breakfast down or take a pill and pass out?  Hard choice.

We got off the ship in Charleston yesterday.  I felt like an astronaut landing.  I wanted to kiss the ground.  Sea sickness is very strange.  You can be near death and then the waves stop and you are instantaneously healed.

Things are better.  We're still not allowed on the deck but the waves have stopped washing over it.  The winds have subsided to 46 mph.  

And tomorrow is another port day.


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Traveling Again

One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. - Henry Miller

Tomorrow Dave and I will get on a ship at Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale and cruise up the east coast.  Our first stop will be Charleston, South Carolina.  Our last will be Montreal, where we'll stay for a few days.

It will be fun, as usual, to see places I've never seen and even possibly do things I've never done - but, for me, the best part is meeting people from different parts of the world.  One of the good things about cruising is that we don't have to spend days in a car or check in and out of hotels.  We're on a floating hotel with the same guests every day so there are loads of chances for good conversations.

Thirteen years ago I was on a cruise with my husband, Ken.  He was very ill and rarely left our cabin except to go to dialysis on the ship.  One afternoon, I got on a tender to visit one of the islands in the Caribbean.  A woman with a heavy German accent, whom I did not know, sat next to me.  She said:

It's a painless death, you know. 

Pardon me?

When your husband dies, it will be pleasant.  When his kidneys fail and dialysis no longer works, toxins will fill his body. But it's a pleasant experience. 

We talked some more and then the tender reached the island, we got off and I never saw her again.  But I never forgot her words.  And three years later, when I knew the end was near, I thought about those words every night before going to sleep.

There are wise people everywhere.


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