Come on Down

This morning's Orlando Sentinel has an interview with United Health Care's Medical Director, Dennis Young.  In the article Dr. Young gives Central Florida a grade of C in evaluating our overall health. Here's the rundown. It's not pretty.

• Obesity:                            D to F.  Over 27% of us are obese. 
• Smoking:                          C
• Exercise                           D to F.  
• Diabetes:                          F.  Over 10% of us have diabetes.
• High School Graduation:   F.  Less than 70% of us graduate. 

So if you are an obese, sedentary, high school dropout, diabetic smoker....Come on down!  You'll fit right in.  

OK, Seriously, it's New Years.  Time for new decisions with our health care and everything else.  Time for a new start.  I love new beginnings. 

In addition to the dismal grades above, Dr. Young gives us an A grade for our excellent quality of health care here in Central Florida.  So come on down no matter what kind of shape you're in.  We'll help you get physically, spiritually, intellectually and emotionally better - if you want to. 

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Sound of Silence

We're home from our Christmas travels. All in all a good experience despite the sinus infection.  On the 23rd I flew from Chicago to Atlanta.  Not too painful but my ears closed up...and I stopped hearing.

And I heard very little until the 27th when they popped open again in a hotel room in Macon, Georgia.

Most of the silent time I spent in Atlanta with my daughter, son in law, four little children and two big dogs.  Now you might think this would be a disaster but not hearing has it's advantages.  It was the quietest Christmas I've had in many years.  I heard no background noises, no television, almost no music.

It was sad not to hear the little ones but they weren't really aware of the problem.  How did I manage conversations with the adults?

I'll tell you a secret.  When I was a child I received almost no health care.  After several bouts with strep, I lost all of the hearing in my left ear and some in my right.  Months later, at the special school I attended, rather than sending me to a doctor, they ordered lip reading classes.  (When I was a young woman and working at Emory University I finally had ear surgery to restore most of my hearing.)

But the blessing in all that is that I still, after all these decades, read lips.  I think that looking at people squarely in the face when they speak to me has been a great benefit in communicating.  Especially since my (so called) career was all about communication.

So, over the holidays, I "heard" family members by looking very carefully at their beautiful faces.


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Movie Quotes...Again

As you know, I'm a movie buff.  I've shared many meaningful quotes with you over the years.  On this lazy Christmas afternoon, while others in this house are playing with toys, I want to share two of my favorites.

The first, because it's Christmas, is from "The Bishop's Wife."  The 1947 version where David Niven plays the bishop.  In the movie the bishop has been corrupted by wealth and wants to build a cathedral but an angel, played by Cary Grant sets him straight.  So this is a small part the message the bishop delivers on Christmas eve, given to him by God, via Cary Grant.

Tonight I want to tell you the story of an empty stocking.....You give me a book; I give you a tie....All the stockings are filled...except one.  The stocking for the child born in a manger.  It's his birthday...Loving kindness, warm hearts and the stretched out hand of tolerance.  All the shining gifts that make peace on earth.  

The next is a small part of my very favorite presidential speech in a movie - and maybe in real life too.  It's delivered by Michael Douglas playing President Andrew Shepard in the movie, "An American President."

For the last couple of months, Senator Rumson has suggested that being president of the country was, to a certain extent, about character....I have been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation:  Being president to this country is entirely about character. ..."You want free speech?  Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil....We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them....I promise you Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving (them.)  He is interested in two things....making you afraid of it, and telling you who's to blame for it....We've got serious problems and we need serious people....

My name is Andrew Shepard and I AM the president. 

Both of these speeches were written by screen writers and delivered by actors - many years ago.  But they are extremely relevant today.


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Christmas Colds

Years ago I would get a cold every Christmas.  It makes sense because I was always exhausted and was around hoards of people.  Now I take better care of myself so it doesn't happen so much.

But Dave and I got sick almost two weeks ago, and we're still sick.  He's in Chicago hacking away.  I'm in Atlanta hacking away.  I'm on my second round of antibiotics.  

It's Christmas eve and I'm determined to be in church.  All four of my Atlanta grandchildren are in the service. The five year old will be an angel and will say:

Glory to God in the highest and peace to all people.

On this special Christmas eve, I would like to say this to you as well.

Glory to God in the highest and peace to all people. 

And, if you have a Christmas cold, I want to share the following.  Dave and I saw this sign a couple of weeks ago when we went to the Gaylord Palms Hotel in Orlando to experience "ICE."  This is a tour through a lovely indoor ice village where the temperature is 9 degrees.  It's probably where we got sick.  

Civility In Times of Stress

It's my opinion that there's no excuse for rudeness.  Either privately or publicly.  We can get the job done without it.

Here are two examples from our very interesting day, yesterday.  Which, by the way, was my birthday.

We'd planned to have a birthday dinner with friends in Amelia Island but ended up sick and in Emergency Care.  Actually Dave had a fever and that scared me a bit.

Example # 1.  We had an 11:30 AM appointment at the clinic.  I had filled out the paperwork on line to save time.  But, of course, when we arrived, the (surly) young lady at intake needed our driver's licenses and insurance cards.  About 40 minutes later she said to Dave, "where are your cards?"

"I gave them to you."

"No you didn't"

"Maybe you put them in someone else's file."

This was the only time this woman made eye contact with us.  And it was a wide eyed glare.

After another hour, she, along with another really sweet woman, having searched everywhere, and trying to play back the surveillance cameras to show that Dave hadn't given her the cards, gave up.

But, yes they would still let us see the doctor.

But then, guess what?  She found the cards.  And guess where?  In someone else's file.

Did she apologize or even speak to us or even make eye contact after all this?  You know the answer.

The other woman couldn't have been nicer, apologized profusely and talked with us throughout the entire fiasco.  By the way, Dave and I were as sweet as pie during the process, even when she insinuated Dave might be senile.

Example #2.  While we sat in the waiting room we chatted with a young, uniformed police officer.  After a while our conversation turned to the Connecticut tragedy.  This young policeman then told us that he and other officers had been assigned to patrol the local schools these last few days since the tragedy.  But a sad thing was happening at the high school.  The kids are taunting the police.  Calling them pigs ....and worse.

Maybe they think these officers are trying to catch them with drugs or doing something else wrong, rather than the real reason - to protect them from becoming victims.

Whatever is going on, there's no excuse for rudeness.


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Nothing Bad Happens In Oak Harbour

Yesterday was a horrendous day for just about every person in this country and many people around the world.  Six teachers and 20 little children were murdered in Connecticut.  What can we make of it?  At this point I don't know.   It makes no sense.

But feelings are high.  It's a natural instinct to want to protect our own.  I heard a world renowned psychiatrist on TV last night say that the first thing he did when he heard the news was to call his kids.  I'm sure a lot of folks did that.

Most of us want to feel safe.  In my early life I lived in places that weren't safe.  I know that awful fear - for myself and my family.

Now I live in a gated condo community.  But when I started to close the drapes last evening I looked out and, directly in front of our door, were two squad cars.  In front of them was another car with the police officers and two young men standing outside the car.  Another police officer was searching the car.  When he finished the officer handcuffed one of the young men.

At that point I closed the drapes.  How was I feeling?  I felt pain and sorrow for the young man.  Did the officers find drugs or alcohol?  Stolen property?  Guns?  Was it something worse?  What I really wanted to do was to go down and talk with the officers and perhaps intercede in some way to assist the young man.

Because whatever the problem is, it didn't start and it won't end with this one event.

I live in a safe place.  A kindergarten through 4th grade school in Connecticut  is a safe place.  I guess we need to look deeper for the answers.


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Peace on Earth, Good Will to All

Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike?  May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion?  Without all doubt, we may.  Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences.  - John Wesley

My friend and neighbor, Bryan Fulwider, wrote a column in today's paper about a Habitat for Humanity house dedication.  This one is extra special because it was built by Christians, Jews and Muslims.  It's called Harmony House.

I love projects that get people together.  Despite all the scary talk about a "War on Christmas" I see good stuff happening all over the place this time of year.  A big example is what's going on up east in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

Even Billy Joel is coming out of hiding to be a part of a superstar fundraiser.

 Having experienced three hurricanes in a row in 2004, we Central Floridians know a little bit about what it means to have folks surround us with love.  After Hurricane Charley our front door was blocked by fallen trees.  Neighbors were there with chain saws before we could get out of our PJs.  And, by the way, we live in a diverse neighborhood.

Yesterday I attended my book club Holiday Luncheon.  What we have in common is that we're a bunch of smart, kind, fantastic looking old ladies.  But we are also diverse.  When we discuss great ideas we come from different places.  We don't always agree - but we've never had a fist fight - or any kind of falling out.

I continue to have faith that our president, house and senate will come together through mutual respect and compromise to get our financial problems solved.

Regarding the Wesley quote above:  Here's my definition of "the children of God."

Everybody!

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Emotional Season

Most folks go kind of crazy at this time of year.  I was talking with friends a while back and several of us expressed some pain about families - namely our children.  Even though we're old and they're middle aged, we can still push each other's buttons.  And that's double true because we love them so much - and it's Christmas!

I was dreading a phone call I had to make this week but it ended up being just great.  Prior to making it I was thinking about one of my favorite poets, Emily Dickinson, and her poem about not worrying about stuff that might happen.

Tis harder knowing it is due,
Than knowing it is here. 

I like to picture Emily, the recluse, living out her life in the quiet of her parents home.  A perfect family.  Then yesterday I saw something that made me laugh out loud.  An ad for a book about Emily Dickinson.

LIVES LIKE LOADED GUNS, Emily Dickinson and Her Family's Feuds

....suggesting that her seclusion was due to her suffering from epilepsy, a highly stigmatized disorder in her day.  At the same time, the tensions within the household came from her brother Austin's adultery with the vivacious, ambitious, and talented Mabel Todd, who usurped control of the family. 

So there you have it.  Yet another example that there are no perfect families.  Isn't that comforting?

Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.


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Dave Brubeck

My granddaughter is attending the Paul Mitchell School.  A couple of weeks ago I enjoyed having her color and cut my hair.  But the music playing at blood vessel bursting high decimals was hard to take.

Every generation has it's favorite music.  I loved all kinds of music when I was young, including jazz.  My husband, Ken, and I, when we were dating and then newly married, loved to go to jazz clubs.  We liked smooth, mellow jazz.  It wasn't about drinking - or smoking.  I didn't do either.  But sitting with other folks listening to smooth jazz took me to another place.

I'm deeply grateful that I got to see the great Dave Brubeck.  He was one of a kind.  He died a few days ago.  I understand that many people have never heard of him but he put out one of the best selling jazz songs of all time,  "Take Five."

Brubeck was classically trained, and clean cut looking along with a clean cut lifestyle.  Very different from other jazz artists of the time.

My love of jazz faded over the years as other music took over.  But, nowadays, Dave and I play cribbage in the evenings listening to NPR jazz.  We both like it smooth and mellow.

Dave Brubeck was 91 when he died.  He left quite a legacy.


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Elf on the Shelf

Beth Kassab used to be the financial writer for the Orlando Sentinel.  Then she was promoted to the prestigious columnist position where she writes about politics and other concerns we have regarding Central Florida.

Only today she wrote about "Elf on the Shelf."  But she's right on target because, I don't know about you, but this guy deeply concerns me.

This sweet little elf, who spends several weeks prior to Christmas sitting on a shelf in your home, comes with a story about how he flies back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa about how we've been behaving during the day.  Of course, when he arrives back he lands in a different place.

This doesn't seem like a hard thing to pull off except, as Beth explains, when some parents are dead tired at night and find it difficult to remember that the elf needs to be on a different shelf.  Every morning.  For over a month.

But then there are those households that take it up a notch.  Elf not only visits the North Pole but finds time to be mischievous when he returns by toilet papering the family room or messing up the kitchen or even making cookies and writing funny notes.  Every night!  For over a month!

This happens at my daughter's house.  It's exhausting just to witness the carnage.

Last year Dave and I drove to their home in Atlanta and planned to drive to the airport the next morning in order to fly to Chicago.  But when we got up and went out to the car we saw that the elves (yes, they have several) had vandalized our car and even removed parts of the engine.  We knew this because the "parts" were on the drive way.  They did look remarkably like items from the garage but we were assured they were  engine parts that rendered our car inoperable.

So the family had to drive us to the airport.  This is what they had insisted on the night before but we firmly nixed it.

I'm very nervous about what they'll do this Christmas. Both the elves and the family.

Beth Kassab has reason to be exhausted what with two tiny children, a husband and a brilliant career AND a mischievous elf.  But think about my Atlanta family and quadruple it.

Trouble is abrewin'



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Four-Pronged Canes

Dave's grandson wrote him an hysterically funny note on his birthday advising Dave that he better not start using any of those "old people" things like telephones with big buttons and four-pronged canes.  He wants his grandpa to stay strong and healthy - and never get old.

We all want that.

But time is not on our side.  I announced to a group of people at dinner last week that, if I ever need a walker, I will gladly use it.  And that I want one that has a place for my books and a drink holder and a little container for flowers.  They all doubted me and asked that I sign an affidavit attesting to the above.

But I'm serious.  When I become incapacitated I will welcome all the help I can get.  My husband, Ken, went kicking and screaming into admitting his inability to walk.  He ruined many events for me, himself and others by refusing to use his walker or his wheelchair.  And I can't begin to count the spectacular falls.  Fortunately, he had bones like concrete.

Yesterday, when I was in the gym I talked with a man I see there often.  He's in his 50s and has, apparently, had a stroke.  Working out is a struggle but he does it - every day.  He has a great attitude, is an inspiration to me and others - and he uses a four-pronged cane.

So, I'm committed.  But, in the meantime, here's a photo of me taken in Visby, Sweden last June.  Don't mean to brag, but how about that posture?

P.S.  The word Gatukok is Swedish for hot dog stand.


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Please Sir, May I Have Another?

Hungry kids are all around us.  Today's Parade Magazine has an interview with Illinois farmer Howard Buffett (son of Warren) about hunger in America.  He says what we've known forever.  There's enough food to feed everybody.  We just need a different way of distributing it.

And for that we need an attitude change.

We had a discussion this morning about "worthiness."  Are these folks "worthy enough" to receive my help?  Most people know that we'll never receive the blessing of giving with that kind of attitude.

The Parade article shared a story about Denise Cerreta who owns a restaurant called "One World Cafe."  The menu has suggested prices but folks are encouraged to pay whatever they feel like they're able to pay.

What a great attitude Denise has.  And the restaurant is doing well.

If you still get the paper - (so you still get your Parade Magazine) - dig it out and read the article.


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