I Remember Tony Martin

When I was a kid I went to the movies twice a week.  On Saturdays my little brother and I mostly saw westerns.  But on special Sundays I saw MGM musicals.  What a fantasy world!  Beautiful people with rich voices.  Pure entertainment.  Most people, even older folks like me, would find them pretty corny now.

One of my favorite singers, Tony Martin, died today.  He wasn't much of an actor but he had classic good looks and was an iconic, romantic singer.

I was aware, at an extremely early age, that he was married to Alice Faye.  I remember being crushed and confused when they divorced a short time late.  Alice Faye went on to marry Phil Harris and they performed on Jack Benny's radio show, and then their own show for many years.

Tony Martin then married the dancer Cyd Charisse.  She was tall with extremely long legs.  One of the plot lines in the movie "The Band Wagon" was about (short) Fred Astaire refusing to dance with her.

Tony Martin and Cyd Charisse remained married for 60 years, until she died in 2008.  Tony died at age 98 and a friend was quoted as saying that he had his "butterscotch baritone" voice to the end.

I will always remember him singing one of my all time favorites, and one of very few songs that can make me cry.

 "Begin the Beguine."

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I Have No Name, I Have No Country

Many years ago I was asked to be a part of a presentation at my church.  Each of several exceptional speakers was given a famous person from the Bible to present on a given Sunday.

What an honor!

Only I was given "The Mother of the Sons of Zebedee."  She wasn't referred to by her name because most of the women in the Bible aren't named.  But she wasn't even called "John and James' Mom."  She was called the mother of her husband's sons.  Yes, I spent the first five minutes kidding around about this title.

This morning, as part of our "Front Porch Series" the minister told the story of "Elijah and the Widow of Zarephath."  While she too was named as an appendage rather than a person, it's a cool story in which she comes out great.

(Unlike the Mother of the sons of Zebedee who, in trying to push her sons ahead of the other disciples, does them and Jesus a disservice.  Jesus said to her, and I paraphrase, "You have no idea what you're asking, lady.")

Then, our preacher for the day, Gary, told us a few "Front Porch" Olympic stories.  One of them is about this runner, Guor Marial.  Born in the Sudan, he came to the U.S. when he was eight years old after 28 members of his family were killed by the Sudanese government.  He's known a kind of horror that few of us can comprehend.

Since he has no U.S. passport he cannot be on the U.S. Olympic team - and he refused to be on the Sudan team.  So the committee has granted him special status.  He's running as a man with no country.

Strangely, I can relate to all three of these stories.  They make me want to weep but they make me feel proud.

This photo of Guor running on a Phoenix street, was taken six days ago.  I hope he does well in the Olympics.  He'll be representing ...our world.


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Happiness Boost

People who continue to appreciate a positive change and derive varying experience from that change are likely to sustain a happiness boost...We think what it really comes down to is, whatever this change is, it should remain present in our life experience and supply positive daily experiences.  - From a research study at the University of Missouri and the University of California.

Good examples from the study:

• Newlyweds that go out for dinner and plan trips.
• Acquiring a painting and purposefully enjoying your painting every day.

Bad example:

• Buying stuff.  Retail therapy. The happiness fix doesn't last so we have to keep buying.

I think it's way more complicated than this.  For me, it has to do with having and cultivating a deep, loving spiritual core, a sense of humor about ourselves, and an attitude that searches for the positive in life - daily. 

It also means choosing to be not happy some of the time.  I love a lot of folks.  Passionately.  When they suffer, I suffer.  Wouldn't want it any other way. 

An interesting thing happened on our cruise through the Baltic.  The phone in our stateroom rang.  In the 15 seconds before I answered it I had calculated what time it was in Florida and Georgia (the middle of the night) and the kind of crisis it would have to be for someone to call us half way around the world.

In that 15 seconds I was anything but happy.  But the deep down joy of having a large family was, by far, an overriding factor. 

By the way, the phone call was from the ship's photographer. 

Instead of being angry or upset, I spent the rest of the evening feeling grateful to be with Dave on the high seas, dining and dancing.  I had a real happiness boost. 

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Shaping Up

When I thumb through my women's magazines in the evening while I'm relaxing with a glass of wine - the magazines I buy at my library for 25 cents - a huge portion of the  articles are about losing weight.   In fact, practically everything I read or see on TV emphasises losing weight.  And for good reason.  We are an overweight, unhealthy people.

For the most part. But certainly not all of us.

As you know,  Dave and I work hard to stay healthy.  While my weight seems to be comically redistributing itself, I've weighed approximately the same for 40 years.  But nobody wants to hear about that.  Most folks want a quick fix, not a life style change.

Florida Hospital has a "Living to a Healthy 100" initiative.  I'm interested in the healthy part.  I want to live to be a healthy old lady.  In body, mind and spirit. 

Fortunately I have friends, people around me, who are constant inspirations.  Folks who are far more disciplined than I am.  

Dave and I still go to the gym every other day, but this summer, since we're permanently in Florida, I've been able to get back with my lady friends here in my condo complex who do water aerobics every other day. 

We share the leadership, have fun and get a terrific 45 minute workout.  And it's free. We age from our 50s to our 80s.  And, as I said, above, these ladies inspire me.  That's one of the big secrets for getting and staying fit.

One of my swim buddies is also one of my Power Rangers.  We PRs had an exciting birthday lunch in a fun restaurant today.  She had a black bean burger.

I'm not that disciplined.


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Copenhagen

 The Little Mermaid is the most famous symbol of Copenhagen.  She sits on her little rock and enjoys being photographed all day long.






Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark, was one of the first stops on our recent Baltic cruise. The city is clean, green, and environmentally friendly.  Thirty six percent of its folks ride their bikes to work.  Copenhagen is known all over the world for having an excellent quality of life.

We chose to take a ride down the canal.  Built on two islands, water is everywhere.

Our tour guide, a very young man, did his presentation in three, unaccented languages.

 The architecture is a combination of old and new.
















One of the things traveling does for me is to help remind me that there are wonderful countries with lovely cities, and most important, interesting people, all over the world.

Dave and I loved seeing the elaborate sandcastles on the beach. 


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Stockholm

When I was listening to the radio the other day a young woman asked an economist about the advantages of moving to Stockholm.  I was somewhat surprised to hear him answer that Sweden and Denmark aren't big enough to hold all the young Americans who're thinking about moving there.

Since we've just been to those places, I wasn't all together surprised. We loved Stockholm.  Built on 14 islands and bordering the Baltic Sea, every place we looked we found beautiful parks, crystal clear waters and breathtaking architecture.

Stockholm is called "The Venice of the North" - and we could see why.

But this isn't the only reason the young American woman was thinking of moving there.  "Save the Children" has consistently named Sweden the # 1 place for women and children.  Why?  Education is relatively free, both parents receive very liberal childcare leave, health care for those under 18 is free.

How do they do this?  They have the highest tax rates in the world.  Taxes can be as low as 29% but most folks pay 49 to 60%.  However, unlike here and other places, they, for the most part, don't mind paying their taxes. Most feel the money is well spent.

Does this make them lazy?  No, the unemployment level is low compared to the rest of Europe and the U.S. And most of the people we saw looked healthy, slim, young and in a hurry.


How do old folks live in Sweden?  For the most part, they have excellent pensions, beginnings at age 61.


We traveled through a part of Stockholm noted for housing wealthy older folks.  It was exquisite with parks and luxury condos.  I didn't, however, particularly care for its nickname, "Crutch Island."

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My New Driver's License

As you know, Florida is making news for our exuberant "Voter Purge."  This morning's paper told us about a 61 year old woman who's been informed twice that she's dead. She's not too happy about it.

I guess that, in trying to weed out dead people and foreigners, a few mistakes should be expected.

And, as part of the identification process, and as the result of 9-11, getting a new driver's license in Florida has become quite an adventure.

I've been a Florida driver since 1962 (aside from three years at Emory University which is in Atlanta, Georgia.)  My arrest record consists of one speeding ticket in the 1970s.  However, this is the year my license needs to be renewed.  So, day before yesterday, after making three calls and searching the Internet, I thought I had all the information I needed to get the license.  Here's what you need:

Birth certificate or Passport.  If you use your birth certificate you must also bring your marriage license if your current driver's license and marriage license do not bare the same name.  The woman on the phone told me I would need to bring both of my marriage licenses.   That made no sense to me since I don't use my current husband's last name.

Social security card

Current driver's license

Two forms of "proof of residence."  I messed up on this.  I thought the cards in my wallet would suffice but, no, you must have something mailed to you.  The clerk finally let me use my passport as one and, after rummaging around in my car's glove box, I found something I had obviously received in the mail.

She asked me if I was the homeowner.  Then she looked up my property to see if I owed back taxes.  OK, why wouldn't that have been proof of where I lived? And why would my owing taxes have anything to do with getting my driver's license renewed?

By the way, I had previously asked the woman on the phone if they take credit cards.

"Yes...but we don't take VISA."

"How about a MasterCard debit?"

"We don't take debit cards."

The part I was concerned about, having to take some sort of test, was nothing.  Just reading one line on the eye chart.  That part of driving in Florida is easy, as some of my 90 year old friends will tell you.

Of course, they don't take appointments and the craziness of waiting with scores of other sullen, frustrated and scared folks is the same as it's always been.

But, after jumping threw all the hoops and paying $54.25, I got my license.  Good for another eight years!

By the way, yesterday's paper had a letter from a guy who's upset because when his 94 year old dad turned in his driver's license, he had to pay $34.00 for a photo I.D. - so he could vote.  I sure hope he didn't try to pay with VISA.


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The Talking Donkey

The theme for the summer sermon series at my church is "Front Porch Stories."  So far we've heard some cool Old Testament stories - but the Abraham/Issac saga, although dealt with beautifully, is still totally not my favorite. 

Yesterday the preacher was our 21 year old, college junior, summer intern.  His story was the one about the  guy who beat up his talking donkey. Found in Numbers 22.

OK, first, I'm hoping this kid chose this story himself and it wasn't thrust upon him in some church initiation ceremony.

The story is essentially this:  God tells this guy Balaam not to go someplace.  Then God changes his mind.  This has always concerned me.  But our preacher explained that God allows us to do things even though he doesn't want us to.  (That free will thing.)  And our preacher had a pretty sweet and funny story about himself to illustrate it.

So Balaam gets on his donkey and heads out.  But an angel, several times, tries to stop him.  Balaam doesn't see the angel.  But the donkey does and tries to stop.  So Balaam beats the donkey until the donkey speaks up and talks some sense into Balaam.

As I said, the whole story has never made sense to me.  Our preacher said it's about obedience to God.  OK, I can accept that but knowing the Will of God has never come easy for me.  In fact, in my experience  obedience has usually been emphasised by men who would like us women to be obedient - to them!

But the 21 year old, college student, summer intern was interesting, self effacing, and insightful.

And he made me think about this scripture.

So, thanks Zach.


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Hurricane Remedies

Yesterday's Orlando Sentinel ran an article on some folks' ingenious ideas on how to destroy hurricanes.  I'm all for innovation and new ideas but I'm not sure about the following.

Kitty Litter - We all know kitty litter absorbs moisture.  But hurricane experts estimate that It would take at least 100,000 tons of litter to do the job and just getting it to the eye of the hurricane would be a logistical nightmare.

Iceberg - Since hurricanes require warm air, tow an iceberg into the path of the storm.

Giant Mirrors - Put the mirrors on orbiting space satellites to redirect sunlight.

Giant Fans - Put them on barges to blow storms apart.

Nuke 'Em - Nuclear bombs were the most popular suggestion.  ( I can't image what could possibly go wrong here!)

Here's my suggestion:  Why don't we continue to learn how to live with the hurricanes?  In some places thousands of people die in hurricanes each year, but here the average is 20.  That's because we have put in place many safeguards and we (well, most of us) respect the power of hurricanes. I think one day soon we will see almost no loss of life due to storms.

Besides, it's not good to mess with Mother Nature.  We have hurricanes for a reason.  Maybe what  Stephen Corbett says is true:

All weather is sin related!  

Actually, I think, and sincerely hope, that he's kidding.


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Happy Decade Birthday

On July 3rd Tom Cruise celebrated his 50th birthday.  Remember when 50 was old?  Tom looks great - but then so do my 50 year old kids.

Franklin Graham turns 60 tomorrow.  The AARP magazine quotes Franklin as saying he blames his feistiness on being bullied "as a preacher's boy."  I sort of question that.  But I'm sure being Billy Graham's son had its challenges as well as its perks.

Harrison Ford turned 70 today.  Hard to believe.  And on June 20th my favorite Beatle, Paul McCartney turned 70!  By the way, he was my favorite Beatle even when John was alive.

In an older Carl Hiaasen book I read recently, the hero, Mac Stranahan was tired of dating women he thought were age appropriate only later to discover they were younger.  So, he started testing them by asking them, from the get go, to name all four Beatles.

That's not much of a test.


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My Hand Won't Open - Update

On March 8th I wrote a post about my hand condition.  It's called Dupuytren's Contracture.  After talking it over with local celebrity hand doctor, George White, we decided on needle aponeurotomy (NA.)  It's a minimally invasive procedure that's been done here in the U.S. since 2003.

The stuff on the Net says it's "relatively painless."

On July 3rd, I had the procedure.  All went well.  But it hurt.  When I took the bandages off I could see why.  There was a hole in my palm.  A week later it was still hurting and I couldn't sleep.  It's amazing what you think about in the middle of the night.

Three words:  Flesh Eating Bacteria.

I went to see Dr. White yesterday.  He told me I was treating it all wrong.  "I told you........"

In my defense, I'll have to use the Nora Ephron excuse "I Remember Nothing."  I asked Dave if the doctor talked with me after the surgery.  Of course, the answer was yes.  What I remember is:

1.  Going to sleep.
2.  Dave helping me get dressed to go home.

While I love that twilight sleep, it is always amnesia producing.

Basically, I had it bandaged way too much.  I explained to the doctor that I needed to do that because it hurt when I did the gardening or worked out at the gym.  He said, "don't go to the gym.  I don't want you to sweat."  I said, "I don't sweat."

While you and I know that I don't sweat, he wasn't buying it.  So I decided not to explain the water aerobics with a plastic, rubber banded glove on my hand.

I came home and did exactly what Dr. White told me to do.  Today it's all better.  The tear in my palm is totally normal.

And, as you can see by this photo Dave took 5 minutes ago, the operation was a total success.  Thanks, Dr. White.

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Moonrise Kingdom

We went to our small, indie cinema, the Enzian, on Friday to see this movie.  You either love Wes Anderson movies or you don't.  I loved this one.

Almost every scene is like a page from a quirky comic book.   The movie is beautiful in a strange Wes Anderson way, from the first scenes in the bright red lighthouse to the last scenes in the same house. While it looks like it's from a weird children's book, it was written by Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, son of Francis Ford.

The story is about two 12 year old run away lovers.  And by lovers I just mean they love each other.  Oh, and they get married.  Sort of.  It's also about the boy scouts and others who hunt them down. It takes place on a small island in New England in 1965.   It's full of adventure, romance, fun and craziness.  Don't try to make sense of it.  Just enjoy.  But the depth of meaning is there too.  It's biblical.

Or go just to see some of your favorite actors.

• Bill Murray and the great Frances McDormand are the parents. 
• Bruce Willis is Captain Sharp (However he isn't very)
• Edward Norton is Scout Master Ward
• Harvey Keitel is Scout Commander Pierce
• Tila Swinton is the evil Social Service 

And the wonderful producer, director and character actor Bob Balaban plays the Narrator.  He doesn't even get a credit but you'll recognize him.

See this movie.  You'll like it.


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It's a Way of Life

My life depends on engaging the most ordinary physical activities with the most exquisite attention I can give them.  In a world where faith is often construed as a way of thinking, bodily practices remind the world that faith is a way of life.    From "An Altar in the World" by Barbara Brown Taylor

This morning I was talking with old friends about traveling.  We were all familiar with mission trips   My church sends teams out all over the world.  My good friends are getting ready to go to Kenya on a medical mission team.  They're still at it.

I don't do that anymore.

But wherever I am, with whatever I'm doing, I try to stay in the moment.  I try to be fully present.  I try not to take myself too seriously but to take others very seriously.  I try to listen.

Dave feels somewhat the same but he wouldn't express it as I would, using Barbara Brown Taylor's words above.

Both Dave and I listened to many, many stories on our trip.  Told by folks from all over the world.  For instance, on the ship we were treated to an excellent show each and every evening.  Several nights we saw musicals in which there were two extremely tall, leggy dancers.   Most folks think that these entertainers live a glamorous life.  They don't.  Most folks think the entertainers have nothing to do but entertain.  Not true.

One afternoon we were on an excursion in Russia.  This tall young fresh faced woman in very casual, baggy clothing was with us, supposedly just a part of the tour but Dave noticed that she stayed behind, circled the group and kept an eye on everything.  Dave saw through her disguise and recognized her as one of the dancers.

He asked her, "Do you know what a Border Collie is?  That's your job today, isn't it?"

From there on, they had a nice relationship.  She would bring friends by to introduce us saying "This is the man who called me a dog."  But she was sweet and we shared in some meaningful ways what it means to be called and how hard it is to pursue your dreams, especially in the entertainment industry.

You don't necessarily have to be on a mission trip to love people around the world.


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The British Museum

On our recent trip to London we stayed in a hotel in Russell Square.  That's also where the British Museum is located. While the British Museum is probably the world's greatest museum of human history, guess what it doesn't have...It doesn't have pictures.  It has approximately eight million other cool things documenting our human story.

Me located in the lobby

One of the coolest is the Rosetta Stone.  (No, this isn't a language school located in the lobby - It's the original Rosetta Stone.)

What is it?  Dating back to 196 B.C., it holds the key to understanding Egyptian hieroglyphs. Without it we wouldn't know about Cleopatra or Elizabeth Taylor.

Rosetta Stone


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Kids Who Can't Cope

Last week when we boarded our British Airways plane to fly from London to Orlando,  Dave and I had gone through the process of seeing that we had comfy seats - well as comfy as possible for a nine hour flight in the regular section.

Row 15, opposite isle seats.  Perfect.  But when I went to sit down, there was a pile of kid stuff in my seat.  And when I asked the glaring pre adolescent young man in the other seat if he would please move it, mom appeared explaining, pleading really, to sit next to her two kids and husband because "they can't cope without me."

I sat in a middle seat further back.  But I could still hear her trying to placate these kids clear across the Atlantic.

I just read a long article by Elizabeth Kolbert  called "Spoiled Rotten."  Her premise is that "With the exception of the imperial offspring of the Ming dynasty...American kids may represent the most indulged young people in the history of the world."

She says we've gone from "helicopter parents" to "jet-powered turbo attack model."  And then there's "snowplow parents," who try to clear every obstacle from their children's paths."  Like suing the high school over a math grade.

Kolbert's point? Some of these kids, with their parents blazing the trail, may be able to get into Brown, but they can't clean a house, do laundry or tie their shoes.  Or, as I experienced, sit on an airplane without mom there to anticipate their needs.

They have no survival skills.  So they implode after leaving for college, not because of the work in the classroom but because they have no idea how to take care of themselves.  They don't know how to mess up and then clean up.  They don't know that other people in the world have needs as powerful as their own.

I know a lot of kids and parents who are not caught up in the entitlement, "you're special" concept but I also know a lot who are.  Makes me sad.


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