The Bad Thing About Hospice

The bad thing about hospice care is that most folks don't utilize it soon enough.  The main reason is we don't want to deal with the reality of an impending death.  My husband, Ken, was with hospice home care for about five days prior to death.  I wish he, and I, and our family had been able to experience this kind of care much sooner than we did.

Hospice, typically, takes over  only after aggressive care has been abandoned and the patient has admitted that his or her illness will result in death.  The protocol then goes from trying to get well to dying pain free and with dignity.

I've never met a patient or family member who wasn't happy with the decision to admit the truth and let hospice minister to them.

Last week I read in the paper that Barbara, a member of my book club  had moved to hospice.  I don't really know Barbara but she's impressed me, in book club, as a very wise woman.

She was diagnosed in June with advanced bone cancer.  As a retired nurse, she'd volunteered in several hospices in Florida so she's aware of what they are and what they are not.

The paper quoted Barbara quoted as saying "To me it's very important that I'm not lying there moaning, screaming and groaning in pain...They (hospice) give you enough medicine to be free of pain...It's a very dignified and very family-oriented place to go to."

So, instead of suffering through aggressive chemo, Barbara is comfortable and making a video of her life for her family.

Barbara is my hero.  Along with hospice.


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Egg Plant

Egg plants are beautiful.  I love them.  Most people don't.  The reason I know this is because almost all egg plant recipes are complicated.  They usually start with peeling the egg plant, baking it, then mashing it and adding about 17 other ingredients.

The lovely, purple egg plant which is a relative of the tomato and the potato has a rich complex flavor of it's own.  It doesn't need all that other stuff.

It's low in calories and full of vitamins and minerals.  The only slightly negative (and strange) thing about it is that it contains a little nicotine.  But you'd have to eat about 20 pounds of egg plant to equal smoking one cigarette.  So there's no chance of your teenager developing an egg plant habit. 

On Saturday I bought a big egg plant at the farmer's market.  Since Dave doesn't care for egg plant it's taken me a few days to eat it.

Here's how I like it best.  I cut it up, peel and all, and fry/steam it in a skillet with some Pam and a little water.  Then add salt and pepper.

For lunch today I had mashed potatoes and egg plant.
  
Delish. 


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Dead or Alive - Which Is Better?

I read about this in the paper yesterday.  Here is a quote:

People who are alive have more mental capacity than people who are dead.  They are more aware of their environment, they have more personality and more memory.

OK, do you feel smarter having this information?  Or maybe you already knew this since you're, you know, not dead!

But....and this is interesting....the article goes on to say that being dead is better than being in a vegetative state.  The dead got higher scores.  Those in a vegetative state are "more dead than dead."

These views are due, mostly, to our belief in an afterlife.

A vegetative state is a holding pattern.  Death is a new beginning.

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We Finally Saw "The Help"

Remember last week when we wanted to see this movie but it was sold out for all the showings on a Saturday afternoon - so we saw "Cowboy and Aliens" instead?

Yesterday we had better luck.  We went to see the 3:45 PM showing.  It was sold out so we bought tickets for the 4:15 PM which was showing on two screens at the Regal.  They, eventually, were sold out as well.

I'm a little puzzled about why this movie is doing so well.  But, of course, I'm happy about it. 

"The Help" takes place in Jackson, Mississippi in 1963.  Skeeter, an aspiring writer, ends up writing an expose about how maids were being treated by their beautiful young junior leaguing racist housewife employers.  Skeeter couldn't have done it without the bravery of the maids. 

For some of us who lived through these times, the book and the movie have been cathartic.  Some critics have called it "light weight" because it deals with dopey women and their maids.  And then there's Sceeter, who gets very brave and serious. 

I think, throughout history, folks living every day lives have been the ones to make great changes.  Sometimes when they've perceived just a little bit of inner power from outer circumstances (like Skeeter) and some who've done the brave thing because they've reached bottom (like the maids.)

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.

On February 3, 2010 I wrote a blog posting called "The Help" after reading the novel.  In it I shared some of my own adventures as a young, white housewife from the North, living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in the same time period in which "The Help" takes place. And then the decade of the 70s which was just as turbulent. 

I was an ordinary person who, somehow, was able to do some small but extraordinary things.  But extraordinary things were happening everywhere in the country. 

The following events were significant for me:

• June 12, 1963 - Medgar Evers was shot and killed.
• November 22, 1963 - John F. Kennedy was shot and killed.
• April 4, 1968 - Martin Luther King was shot and killed.
• June 5, 1968 - Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed.

Go see the movie.  It's not about Jackson, Mississippi.  It's about us.  

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Our Sofa

Dave and I are both bean counting, practical to a fault, pragmatic folks.  One of the things we decided early on was to get rid of my Florida sofa and his Minnesota sofa and buy a new one. 

After weeks of searching, we settled on a sofa from Crate & Barrel.  Over several months time we visited it in the store, sent away for fabric swashes, and dragged some of our kids to the mall to see it.

Then, day before yesterday, we did, uncharacteristically, a wild and crazy thing.  We went to Ikea.  My palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it.  And, as you know, I don't sweat.

First thing we did was eat.  Ikea has great, cheap food.  I had two hot dogs, chips and coke for $2.  Dave had Swedish meatballs with loganberry sauce for not much more.

Then we started the search.  You really need that Ikea Road Map to get around.  Long story short, We fell in love with a sofa! 

And to make a much longer story short (the one where you get lost trying to check out and arrange for delivery while carrying your own sofa parts on your back.) we bought it.

It arrived yesterday, but, to our amazement, these big guys carried in some big boxes, put them down on the living room floor - and left!

Five hours later we had it assembled.  We love it even more because we made it ourselves.

Now we can ask ourselves what my husband, Ken, used to say:

"What'll we do with all that money we saved?"

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Political Insights

Some political experts where surprised that Michele Bachmann won the Iowa Straw Pol and knocked Tim Pawlenty totally out of the race.  I'm sure that two or three years ago, when they were both in Minnesota, Tim never dreamed that Michele would turn out to be his worst nightmare.

I was surprised at the results of the straw pol as well.  But for this reason:

After attending the Minnesota State Fair last year, I'm aware of what Upper Midwesterners like to eat for fun.  The Iowa caucus takes place on the Iowa State University grounds.  All of the candidates have their own tents and serve free fun food. 

Tim served Famous Dave's Bar-B-Q.  It's wildly popular in Minnesota.  I love it.  Ribs, chicken, beans, corn on the cob, yum, yum.  This is a universal treat.

Michele served corn dogs and meat sundaes.  The sundaes are made with mashed potatoes, chunks of beef and then covered in brown gravy.  With a tomato on top. 

I thought the Bar-B-Q would win hands down.

But, like with so many other political predictions, I was wrong.

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Cowboys, Indians and Aliens

This was the opening weekend for the movie, "The Help."  Knowing it would be jammed packed, we opted to see "Cowboys and Aliens."  It turned out to be a good call because "The Help" was sold out for the evening. 

"Cowboys and Aliens" is just big, silly fun.  First, it has the best title since "Snakes on a Plane."  And, like "Snakes," the title says it all.

To me, this is an old fashioned cowboys and Indians movie with the only difference being that the cowboys and Indians (and by that I mean our Native American friends) have to band together to fight the aliens. 

I had a little trouble with so called good guys committing several acts of brutality.

But you can't beat Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford for craggy, tough faces.

Can't believe that it's a Brian Grazer/Ron Howard movie.  To me it's another one of those movies that could have been put together by a group of 13 year old boys.

All in all I liked it.  But did I learn anything?

 No. I already knew that you don't mess with Harrison Ford.

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I'm Thin Skinned

Since we've been doing so much work around the condo I'm seeing nothing but bruising up and down my arms.  It's a fact of life at my age.  I'm thin skinned.  No arm fat.  As we age the lining of blood vessels and capillaries become weaker (along with most everything else.)

Also blood thinners such as aspirin and even vitamin supplements like fish oil can be culprits in the ugly arm battle.

I know that many of you deal with the same issue.  

I've looked for some light arm covers but no luck.  The best I can find are tennis arm bands.  They're hot and don't cover much - and silly looking when you're indoors.

About three weeks ago I had a tiny, almost pin prick puncture in my forearm.  It wouldn't stop bleeding so I put a band aid over it.  Later, while eating in a restaurant, I noticed I had bled all over my shirt sleeves.

Gross.

So when I'm getting ready to have any kind of medical procedure that might produce bleeding I need to stop taking blood thinning drugs well beforehand.

And so should you.

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Everybody's a Critic

This week's Shouts & Murmurs" in the New Yorker magazine is dealing (tongue in cheek) with our ability to let others do important work and then "comment" on how they didn't do it right.

The column deals with God doing his first six days of work here on earth.  Following is a sampling. 

COMMENTS

Not sure who this is for.  Seems like a fix for a problem that didn't exist.  Liked it better when the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep.

***SPOILER***

One of them is going to eat something off that tree You told them not to touch.

Beta version was better.  I thought the Adam-Steve dynamic was much more compelling than the Adam-Eve work-around.

Adam was obviously created somewhere else and then just put here.  So, until I see some paperwork proving otherwise, I question the legitimacy of his dominion over any of this.

Not enough action. Needs more conflict.  Maybe put in a whole bunch more people, limit the resources, and see if we can get some fights going.  Give them different skin colors so they can tell each other apart.

Seems to me we've finally got this last "comment" accomplished.

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From Chaos to Perfect Order

All's well with Dave and me but we spent our last few weeks in Minnesota in a world of chaos and hard work and arrived in Florida to repeat the process - backwards.  We moved out.  Now we're moving in. 

Oh, and, as usual, Florida itself is in chaos.  So is the entire country.  And the world.  I just hope that my stock portfolio comes back in time to help my kids pay for the big party I hope they have for me after I'm gone. 

And, yes, it's hot here.  It's hot all over the but the Florida heat is unrelenting.  Working in the garage this morning was like being in a vat of steaming lobsters.  My arms are bruised from wrist to elbow.  The slightest scrap causes bleeding due to my age and vast ingestion of blood thinners.  I look kind of like a Methodist stigmata.  

• But Dave and I are still thankful for, and discussing daily, how well things went in our Minnesota leave taking.
• We have the blessing of reconnecting with friends and family here. 
• We're moving along with the condo fix up - we had delightful painters in for two days who did an amazing job.
• Knowing that folks in Minnesota and Florida are in serious need has made it easy and fun to just give stuff away.
• We're going to church and Sunday school in the morning - one of my very favorite places in all the world to be.  

This chaos in all of our lives is temporary.  God is all about perfect order.  

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The Pope on Twitter

We're home in Florida after a 1,900 mile drive in Dave's Camry.  The last couple of days I've been entertaining him by sharing articles in The New Yorker.  As you know, it's my favorite magazine. 

This week's "Shouts and Murmurs," by frequent contributor, Paul Rudnick, is very funny.  As you know, the Pope tweeted for the first time a while back.  Since most folks on Twitter tweet about their inner most silly thoughts, Rudnick lets us know what he thinks the Pope has been tweeting.  I hope my Catholic friends will forgive me but here are a couple: 

Sometimes, when I'm all alone, I like to put on my cassock and spin around really fast and pretend I'm a tepee.

If people ask, "Why does God allow war and evil?"  I ask, "Why do the high-school students on 'Glee' look forty?"

If someone questions papal infallibility, I reply, "I know one thing for sure:you shouldn't be wearing horizontal stripes."

I met the Dalai Lama and he was so nice, but all I could think was, Sandals?  In January?  Really?

Nancy Grace:  perfect name for a gay Pope.

If you want to read more, pick up a copy of the July 25th New Yorker.

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