Saturday, June 27, 2009

Cafeteria Selections

Fundamentalists in all major religions accuse moderates of practicing "Cafeteria Religion." Moderates accuse fundamentalists of doing the same.

The idea, of course, is that we pick and choose which parts of the Bible (or the Koran, etc.) to practice.

I've finally finished "The Year of Living Biblically" by A. J. Jacobs. And I thoroughly agree with him that we all practice cafeteria religion.

I know I do.

First off, I'm a New Testament gal. Don't have to worry about those hundreds of rules in the Old Testament the way Jacobs did in his year of living biblically.

Next, my examples begin with Jesus and my Jesus examples start with the Sermon on the Mount.

Yes, I still have some problems with the Apostle Paul. Thirty years ago when I was helping to do battle for the Equal Rights Amendment (for women) a person yelled at me saying, "The Apostle Paul would not vote for this amendment." I said, "No, but Jesus would."

That was my "Cafeteria Selection."

Of course the are some sweeping concepts that go from one end of the Bible to the other. One is forgiveness. Another is the overwhelming mandate to take care of the poor and those who are suffering.


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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Interns and Slaves

I talked with my son today. We discussed, among other things, interns. He always has a number of summer interns and sometimes hires them later on.

I'm still reading my "The Year of Living Biblically" book by A. J. Jacobs. In yesterday's reading he mentioned that he would soon be getting his first intern at his real job at Esquire. At the same time he's delving into the ancient biblical laws about slavery.

Are interns slaves? I know some of them think they are. Remember "The Devil Wears Prada?"

Here's a quote from the book:

His (Kevin's) internship is still a few months off. Which is fine by me, because it'll give me plenty of time to figure out biblical slavery. There are some interesting rules. Like:

  • You can beat your slave as hard as you want - as long as he survives a day or two post beating (Ex. 21:21
  • But if you beat him with a rod and he dies immediately, you will be punished (Ex. 21:20)
  • You also can't pluck out the slave's eye, or else you have to set him free. Likewise, you can't knock out his tooth, or you set him free. Ex.21:26-27
  • If the slave was born to the Hebrew race, then, regardless of his eye and tooth situation, he gets his freedom after six years. If he opts to refuse his freedom, you must put him against a doorpost and drill a hole in his ear with an awl. (Ex. 21:6)
As much as I can't wait for Kevin to take over my Kinko's duties, the existence of slavery in the Bible is bewildering.

Yes, I agree with Jacobs, the existence of many things in the Bible, especially the Old Testament, is bewildering.




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Monday, June 22, 2009

Chinese Fortune Teller

Yesterday was Father's Day. So, after church, I took my boyfriend to lunch. He's not my dad but he was and is a good dad so it was fun to remind him.

We went to his favorite Chinese restaurant and shared a Walleye fish dish. It came with the head attached. I tried to get my boyfriend to take the head home for a sandwich later, but no dice.

We chit chatted with a man sitting beside us who was obviously taking his dad to lunch. They talked about interesting things. I complimented the man for being a good son.

Then I told him about a serious problem that had just arisen and asked his opinion. Our place mats told us that I was born in the year of the tiger and my boyfriend was born in the year of the monkey. And that we are not compatible. In fact, they said the monkey should avoid the tiger!

The young man thought for a minute and said, "I don't believe you should base your future on Chinese place mats."

How wise.

They left. And a few minutes later the waiter came by and said that the young man and his father had paid for our lunch.

We were amazed. He was not only wise but generous. I wonder what his place mat said.


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Friday, June 19, 2009

I Was Fertile

A couple of my friend's daughters are undergoing in vitro fertilization.

I was one of those women who would have been pregnant my whole childbearing career if I wasn't actively trying not to. I was queen of the Pill. My grandmother had 13 children. That was before the sexual revolution. She had no choice.

But the other side of the coin is women who have great difficulty conceiving. Two of the greatest tragedies of the childbearing years are having babies we don't want - and not being able to have babies we desperately want.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is tough. Before the big event takes place there are weeks of shots and pills causing hormones to go amok. And then it may or may not work. And it's very expensive. I'm in awe of couples who put themselves through this process - sometimes over and over.

In the "Year of Living Biblically" book by A.J. Jacobs, I was reminded this morning that the religious community is all over the map on the rightness or wrongness of IVF. The Catholics want us to have babies the old fashioned way. Period. On the other hand, religious Jews are all IVF. Protestants are the ones who are all over the map.

Of course, you wouldn't think the Bible would address IVF. But Jacobs reminded me that it was "sort of" addressed way back in the Old Testament. I looked it up. It's a cool story.

Jacob (not the writer but the O.T. guy) had two wives. Leah, who was a baby making machine like me and my grandma, and Rachael who couldn't conceive.

Rachael begged her sister (yeah, Leah was her sister) for some of this root or herb called mandrake, supposedly an ancient fertility drug. Only Leah made Rachael trade a night with Jacob for the mandrake. So guess who got pregnant - again?

So Jacobs (the writer) is wondering if the Bible subtly disapproves of fertility treatments.

I don't think so. But I myself have some big time reservations about multiple births.

Back to the story of Leah and Rachael. Leah has eleven sons. Rachael finally has one. But he's his dad's favorite and ends up saving the whole nation.

You might remember Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat. That was him.


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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Summer Reading


Since I've been in Minnesota I've read a book by Stephen King. I started one by Daniel Silva but didn't like it. I have a 50 page rule. If it doesn't grab me in the first 50 pages I'm done.

Yesterday I started my first book of the summer that I know I'm going to love. I read the first 90 pages in one sitting. And that's not like me.

It's The Year of Living Biblically by A. J. Jacobs.

He's an editor at Esquire but wrote a best seller a while back called The Know-It-All. It's about the encyclopedia. I plan to read it next.

His writing is hysterically funny, irreverent and smart. And it makes me think. Here's a short excerpt from the beginning of the introduction.

As I write this, I have a beard that makes me resemble Moses. Or Abe Lincoln. Or Ted Kaczynski. I've been called all three.

It's not a well-manicured, socially acceptable beard. It's an untamed mass that creeps up toward my eyeballs and drapes below my neckline.

...Strangers have come up to me and petted my beard, like it's a Labrador retriever puppy or a pregnant woman's stomach.

I'll write more about this book later - but in the meantime you might want to pick it up yourself.


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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Taking Care of People

The last few days I've been reading some from the Apocryoha. What's that? It's a set of books, written thousands of years ago, that didn't make it into the Bible. More specifically, into the Old Testament. Yes, a committee decided what went in and these books didn't make the cut.

So this morning I read about this guy named Tobit. He goes blind due to having bird droppings fall into his eyes. His nephew supports him for a while but then his wife has to go out and get a job in order to take care of him.

At one point he gets really mad at her because he doesn't believe she's actually earning all that she's bringing in. (How did you really get that goat?)

This made me laugh because it reminded me that we women have been taking care of people "forever" despite the fact that they don't always appreciate it and sometimes even resent it.

Gloria Steinem is in town. She's 75 and still at it. Here's a quote from a speech she made recently:

...Now we need an effort to attribute a value to caregiving, whether it's done by women or men - but of course it's still done about 90 percent by women. It's a third of the productive work in the country...and not rewarded. It's invisible.

Yes, I agree, after all these thousands of years, we need to attribute a value to caregiving.


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Monday, June 15, 2009

I Wanna Live Forever!

Have you heard of Blue Zones? They're communities around the world dedicated to helping people live longer, healthier lives.

Did you know that, in 2005, for the first time in history, the average life expectancy for a baby born in the U.S. is shorter than before? Why?

Obesity! 66% of us are fat.

Yesterday at church we heard a young man speak about a new Blue Zone community here in Minnesota. In the established Blue Zone communities around the world people not only live longer but their end of life illnesses are shorter. (A year and a half as opposed to the three year average.)

Following are the nine common elements of the longest living communities in the world.

1. Walk every day.

2. Have a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. When we lose one we need to find another.

3. Have a quiet, peaceful time every day (downshift.)

4. Drink lots of water - and have one glass of wine daily.

5. Eat a plant based diet. Eat meat as a condiment.

6. Quit eating when you're 80% full.

7. Live and love intergenerationally. (Surround yourself with older and younger people.)

8. Attend community worship at least once weekly.

9. Hang out with people you admire - those who have a healthy lifestyle.

It doesn't seem like brain surgery, does it? In fact, it looks pretty easy.


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Cary Grant's Best Movie

I'm a huge Cary Grant fan. The other night PBS showed what I think is his best movie. It's a little known gem called "People Will Talk." A silly title.

Cary plays a smart, handsome (duh,) god-like gynecologist. What's not to love?

This movie, made in 1951, has Cary saving the life of his student, played by Jeanne Crane, who tries to kill herself because she's pregnant. He ends up marrying her. But the movie is about much more: the death penalty, the practice of medicine, and ethics for example.

It's also funny.

And there's a very mysterious man named Mr. Shunderson. It's worth the wait to hear his secret at the end.

Cary's name in the movie is Noah Praetorius. It was adapted from a German play called "Dr. Praetorius." A much better title.

I saw the movie the other night for the fourth time and loved every minute. My boyfriend saw it for the first time. He loved it. Trust me, you'll love it too.


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Friday, June 12, 2009

Storytelling

I have a couple of friends who are certified storytellers. It's almost a lost art. In ancient times, when most people couldn't read or write, storytelling was essential. Children were trained from an early age to repeat the stories to the next generation.

In early America storytelling was the most popular form of entertainment.

Last night a friend gave me an article about a man named Walter Swan. A plasterer with a wife and eight children and no education to speak of.

He's also a storyteller. At some point he decided to write down his stories exactly the way he told them to his children.

Then he tried to sell them - but we who try to sell stories to New York publishers know how that goes.

So he went about selling his book of stories himself. He even opened a bookstore. His store sells one book. His.

The book is called "me 'n Henry."

Mr. Swan says they're all true stories. Also no bad words and no big words.

People seem to like the one about me gettin' my finger stuck in the Model-T car or the time the billy goat et my first-grade reader. But the funniest is my father accidentally drinkin' a pitcher full of my polliwogs.

I hope that, no matter how successful Mr. Swan gets as an author and an entrepreneur, he'll still retain his storytelling skills. As I said, it's almost a lost art.


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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Colonoscopies and Other Summer Fun

My boyfriend scheduled his colonoscopy for after I arrived so that we could share yet another romantic experience.

A while back I scheduled my cystoscopy so that he could accompany me. Don't know what that is? It's when a urologist (at least you hope it's a urologist) inserts a camera into your bladder for a little look- see. In color.

We all know what a colonoscopy is because Katie Curic made her colon famous when she had one on television a few years ago. If she'd really been a good sport she'd have let us experience her prep day with her. That's where the fun starts.

My boyfriend's colonoscopy was on Monday. On Saturday we did something truly wild and crazy. We had a coupon for the White Castle. Ten burgers (sliders) for $4.99. We ate all of them. So I was thinking he might not even need a prep day.

But on Sunday he started fasting. Only clear liquids. Then, late in the afternoon he began taking the big jug o' juice. It comes with several names. His was called "GoLYTELY." A misnomer.

So he missed half of the Tony Awards. Not the first half or the last half. He saw every other 10 minutes for the four hours it was on.

Monday morning we arrived at the hospital bright and early. By 10:00 A.M. we were having pancakes at Perkins.

How uncomfortable are colonoscopies and cystoscopies? Not at all. You just take a little nap and it's over.

If you're past 60 and you've never had a colonoscopy you need one. If you're scared do this. Google: "Dave Barry Colonoscopy" It's one of the funniest things he's every written - and that's saying something. And when you finish reading you'll want to schedule your colonoscopy. Go with somebody you love. If you can't do that, go with somebody who wants to eat after - because you'll be hungry.

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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Murder, She Wrote


My son has teased me for years - about everything under the sun - but mostly about getting older.

If I have to hang up the phone because I have a pressing deadline he'll say, "Yes, I know you can't miss your rerun of Murder, She Wrote."

Now Angela Lansbury, aka, Jessica Fletcher, the writer/sleuth on Murder, She Wrote, has become HOT!

On Sunday night she won her FIFTH Tony Award. Everybody knows the Tonys are the most prestigious awards. And the Tony Awards show is the most entertaining evening of television. Last Sunday night was the best!

Even that rocker guy getting hit over the head in the first number didn't bring us down. I agree with Neal Patrick Harris who said, "He gave a new meaning to 'head banging.'

But back to Angela. She was a movie star before most Americans living today were born. She was nominated for three Oscars and 18 Emmys. Oh, and she's won six Golden Globes.

She played the very creepy mother of Laurence Harvey in The Manchurian Candidate when she was younger than him in real life.

And now, at age 83 she's staring on Broadway again. This time in Blithe Spirit.

I don't know about you but I don't want to be doing eight shows a week when I'm 83 years old.

And I'm not crazy about Blithe Spirit - so maybe I'll try to catch up with Angela this summer by watching some old reruns of "Murder, She Wrote."


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Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Meaing of Enough

I was listening to a stranger at a party the other night talking about the economy and the pain of having to cut back on some expensive toys.

As you know, I taught a class a few months ago called "Enough."

My boyfriend and I both know the meaning of enough. We know one way to be rich is to live within our means - and to be happy about it. Well, I'm not always happy about it but I know it's the right attitude to have.

The Apostle Paul said, "I have learned to be content in all circumstances." And that's saying something because, by our standards, he got himself into some pretty dandy messes.

My favorite writer, Kurt Vonnegut once told the following story: He was at a party with another great writer, Joseph Heller. It was at this rich guy's fabulous beach house. Kurt said, "Joe, doesn't it bother you that this guy makes more in a day than you ever made for Catch-22?"

Heller replied, "No, not really. I have something he doesn't have. I know the meaning of enough."


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Friday, June 5, 2009

A Bronx Tale

In 1993 Chazz Palminteri wrote an autobiographical movie about himself as a 9 year old child who witnessed a murder. The movie was, "A Bronx Tale." It starred Robert De Niro as his bus driving, straight arrow dad. De Niro directed it as well.

Interestingly, Palminteri played Sonny, the popular, charismatic Mafia don who committed the murder and then became the little boy's friend and patron so the kid wouldn't turn him in.

It's one of the best morality movies ever made.

My good friend and recently retired university professor used to require his students to watch "A Bronx Tale" in his ethics classes.

My son, the one who's a real film buff, thinks it's one of the best movies ever made.

I'm now here with my boyfriend in Minneapolis, one of the most cultural cities in the country, for the summer. Yesterday's paper had a write up of "A Bronx Tale." Not the '93 movie, but a play that's running currently here in the city.

It stars Chazz Palminteri. This time he's doing all the parts. A one man show. So he plays himself as a child and Sonny and other mobsters like Frankie Coffee Cake and Jimmy Ten-Two (he had feet that turned outward, as if telling the time.)

I hope "A Bronx Tale," the play, is still a powerful tale of moral strength.

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

I'm Still an Orphan

Quote from Oscar Wilde's, "The Importance of Being Earnest."

Lady Bracknell: Are your parents living?
Jack: I have lost both my parents.
Lady Bracknell: To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

I just finished reading a moving article in "The New York Times Magazine." It's adapted from the new book by Christopher Buckley called "Losing Mum and Pup."

It deals with Buckley losing his famous parents, Patrica and William F. Buckley.

I can relate to Buckley's account of becoming an orphan at age 55. Of course, we have absolutely nothing else in common. William F. Buckley and his wife were descendants of old, old money; accomplished, conservative and elitist.

I was about 55 years old when my dad (and last remaining parent) died. As dads go, mine was no great shakes, but, Christopher Buckley had serious issues with his parents as well.

But we were both surprised at our feelings of now being the last generation of our families. Or, as Buckley says:

You've now moved into the green room of the River Styx.

I love Christopher Buckley's writing. It's crisp, funny and real. And not one bit elitist like his dad's. (Although listening to William F. Buckley speak was always entertaining.)

This article reminded me that all of us have issues with our parents that need to be put to bed. Some of us find it to be too painful and prefer to take them to the grave.

I think the book "Losing Mum and Pup" can be a source of healing for all of us orphans.


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Monday, June 1, 2009

Broadway Musicals

The other day I ended my posting by saying that Oklahoma is "my second favorite Broadway musical."


Yesterday at church several people wanted to know my favorite. It's always interesting when somebody I don't know walks up to me and says,


"OK what is your favorite musical?" Or "I don't agree with your movie review."


But I like it. It means they're reading the blog.


Oklahoma is my second favorite because I don't really have a favorite. I love Phantom of the Opera and I loved The Music Man but for different reasons.



The Broadway musical that has made the most impact on my life is Ragtime. It was produced in 1998 but was taken from a 1975 best selling book by E. L. Doctorow.



Around the year 2000 my husband and I saw a matinee of the touring company. Since he was in a wheelchair we ended up sitting practically on the stage. We were in section AAA which is not seen as an advantageous place because it's too close.



I am not an emotional person. I'm logical to a fault. But from the time the curtain opened and those different ethnic groups began swirling in circles - and since I was right up there so I felt like I was swirling with them - to the very end, I was a blubbering mess.


I can totally relate to the character "Mother" and her metamorphoses.



Now I don't listen to Ragtime much because it just evokes so much emotion that it's not always comfortable.



Music that challenges our social conscience can do that.


Another one of my favorite musicals is Chicago. It has no social conscience.





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